Aching bones n bladder stones
are signs of gettin old,
missing teeth n droopin beef
two more,, or so i'm told.

Hairy backs n saggy sacks
are afflictions of old men,
havin rants n ****** pants-
happen now n then !

when the gut is sagging more n more
and it's dragging on the floor,
when ******* are banging on the knees
and armpits smell like cheese,

when teeth they sleep within a glass
upon the bedside table,
and as for giving girls a thrill
you find you're quite unable,

But don't think that I’m unhappy
after everything I said,
e'en though I wear a grown up *****
and soon be ****** dead.

I could wax on the wings of a butterfly
but, I aint that kinda o' guy.
rather kick the nuts off ******* squirrels
pull the wings off blue arsed fly.

I'm the stuff that flops off dog chops
when he's up fer it and high,
I'm a metaphor to drink s'more
I'm the toe nail in the pie.

Lumbago ought be a flower,
but it ain't.

Goldfish could have shoulders,
but they don't.

Death should have meaning
and my windows need cleaning
by the missus -

but I know- she just -- won't.

There once was a theist, I hear,
whom thought he'd bend Gods leftist ear,
now feeling contrite
Gods deaf to the right.
the atheists thought that - quite queer.

'er pons and medulla oblongata
makes Annie the ****** a bit smarter
than the average gal, joe pete or al
and her mystery is - pro rata.

wanted;  
Liverpudlian rock stars
to sing fer me - the Queen,
I'll pay yers all in corgis  
and transfuse ya wiv - caffine,
I've gorra a bloke called Ringo  
fer the bingo - inbetween,
support act - Chewbacca -
and Macca - in yella submarine.