i cry all night
but smile all day
i drink to take the pain away
i smoke my lungs black
and contemplate
throwing myself off a building
wouldn't that be great?

i sit and think...
is my life even worth living?
how can it be if its so unfulfilling
i contemplate and take another drag
and think about how i'm just another ***
how i'll always be alone
and how i want my life to be over and done.

i think about loneliness
and how it makes me feel
i think about the times i spent
thinking love was real
i think i want to give up
i don't want to live it up

i'd be lying if i said
i  miss you
i'd be dying if i
stayed with you
i'd be crying if i
never left you
but now i'm smiling
because i finally
dumped you

from the moment i saw you
i knew you were something amazing
like a rose growing from concrete
you pushed your way through the dark
and into the light of day.

the fire in my heart
melted the ice in yours
the dribbles trickled down
into me and put my fire out.

i drink because it brings back memories
and memories bring back you
...

me loving you
was me sealing my fate
you slowly turned up the heat
little by little
and like a frog,
i was oblivious
to the fact
that you were slowly
boiling me alive.

The worst part of it all
is feeling this pain in my heart
and not knowing
who it belongs to