You can never be as rich as I am,

all you have is money.

I have so much more
than just
MONEY

at first i just liked you
but you were with her
then my like grew like a ****
and you're still with her
and now...
i love you
like a fool
but you're with her
you love her.
not me.

i want to live alone
with you
i want to eat alone
with you
i want to get a pet alone
with you
i want to travel the world alone
with you
i want to be alone
with you
i just want us to be alone,
together,
until we don't
feel lonely anymore

if i knew it would be the last time i could see you fall asleep,
i would've done more to keep you warm.
if i knew it would be the last time i get to see you walk out that door
i would've kissed you
and hugged you
and called you back for another kiss
if i knew it would be the last time i could hear your voice
i would've recorded you,
so i could listen to it over and over.
we live as if we still have loads of time to do what we want
but what if today was your last chance?

And just when I think
things are good again
it happens,
the saddening,
the angering,
the depressing weight of the world
catches up
and crushes me

Honey,
just
like
this
cigarette
between
MY
lips.
YOU
were
cheap,
dangerous
and
did
not
last
very
long.
Baby,
just
like
the
cigarette
between
YOUR
lips.
YOU
threw
ME
away
once
I
filled
YOU
up.

We got back together
and as we kissed
all i could taste on your lips
was regret

I learned to hate you.
I learned to hate you because,
if I don't.
I will love you.
and if I love you
my heart will open again.
and if I love you
you have a chance to  hurt me again.

i planted seeds in the holes you left on my heart
seeds of healing
and
seeds of happy
but most of all
seeds of acceptance.

love
is
a
pain
no
doctor
can
explain

nothing
is
louder
than
the
sound
of
my
thoughts
running
through
my
mind
at
3am

I speak to fast
and say too little
I wrote the ending before I wrote the beginning

i had to accept an apology i never received
and forgive you for actions you refuse to acknowledge
it was the hardest thing i've ever had to do
but still, i made sure i will get through it.
and that my darling
is what i call
STRENGTH

You're not a writer
and i'm not a reader
but still your kisses
taste like poetry to me.

i drink because it brings back memories
and memories bring back you
...

Life without you
is way too much
The thing I need
is your touch
The pain  inside
is way too real
And I just don’t know
how to deal
Now look at how you made me feel…

the crushing weight out here alone
All I want is to call your phone..
But you’re not there…
You don’t even care!!!

this hurt inside Is breaking me,
My heart in Pieces,
like debris…
Why cant you just come back to me?

you were never mine to begin with
but losing you
broke my heart all the same

and then it hits me like a tidal wave
...
what if i never feel that way for someone else again?
what if i can never fall in love again,
because they aren't you?
what if they don't make butterflies flutter in my tummy
like you did?
what if their kiss isn't warm & wet & real like yours?
and their hands...
what if their hands don't touch my soul but only my body?
what if i can never fall in love again
because they aren't you
???
....

Love is a knife
that i've been holding by the blade

People keep getting tired of me
then they leave
what they don't know
is that i am tired too
but i always choose to stay

the worst part about it
wasn't losing you

it was losing
ME.

i'm so blunt
you could smoke
my truth.

because smiling and saying i'm fine
is easier than trying to explain to you what i feel inside
this is why i'd rather lie
than try to explain why i wish i had died

Sometimes
i wish we could just forget each other
so we can meet again for the first time

he was  hell for her
but she didn't mind burning at all

comfortable
in
my
lonely

death is nothing.
dying is easy.

living
is
hard.

We are not
in the same boat,
but we are
in the same storm,
only,
you have a massive ship.
and all i have is a
canoe.

Sometimes
i
find
myself
missing
what
it
feels
like
to
miss
someone

sad to think about
the only flowers i will ever receive
will be the ones placed on my grave

I let you ******* truth
and in the end
all you did was
spit it out

i wasn't even looking when i found you,
you just snuck up on me.
i wasn't even asking when the universe sent you,
like magic you were suddenly part of my world.
i wasn't even aware that you were exactly what i wanted,
needed.
now
it's been 16 years
you're still here
still magic
i still find peace in you,
comfort.
love.
you still make me smile,
laugh.
love.
it's been 16 years
and i don't want anyone else
i want you
still.
i need you,
still.
LOVE.

my mind is full
of
empty thoughts.

i miss the old me
the happy me
the driven me
the ambitious me


the me i was before you
the me you broke into pieces
the me that will never return

Laws of the universe teaches that
like attracts like
so this is why
everytime i attract someone
they're just as broken as i am
Damaged people attract damaged people
we try and fix each other
using pieces of ourselves
and in the end
when it all goes bad
both of us are left
I N C _ M P L _ T E

I wanted you,
you wanted that.
I needed you,
you needed a fix.
I loved you,
you loved drugs.
I
loved
you,
you
loved
******.
now you want me,
I don't want you.
now you need me,
I don't need you.
now you love me,
I don't love you.
now you love me,
I
don't
love
you
…

living inside my head
is a constant struggle for
P
O
W
E
R
it's like laying on a bed of
W
E
E
D
S
trying to rip them out one by one
before they strangle you in your
S
L
E
E
P

you played hide and seek with my happy and my sad
you only ever found the sad.
the happy got lost a long time ago

sitting here
it's 2AM
I'm staring at a wall
the only thoughts I have
are of the memories
we
never
got
to
make

you are the lover in my bed
but also the gun to my head
you love me fiercely
but you also hurt me deeply

the feeling of
your love
your caring
your anger even
the sensation of  
your touch
your smell
your taste even
i just miss you
so so much

You go into a building
and speak to your God
I walk out into nature
and my Gods speak to me

if i knew then that i'd be this lonely
i
never
would've
left
you
this loneliness is killing me slowly
ripping my fragile heart
into a million pieces

from the moment i saw you
i knew you were something amazing
like a rose growing from concrete
you pushed your way through the dark
and into the light of day.

Number one is blue – for the bruises you left on my face that day

2 – I saw the red lipstick stain, the night you came back from your “parents”

Number three – the white walls in your room bearing so many memories, now everywhere I go I see white walls reminding me of what you did to me.

4 – Is grey. For the grey area in my mind. The grey area you helped put there

Number five – the colour I see when you try and lie to my face

6 – the bruises are finally starting to heal, now they’re purple

Number seven – the green demon in your mind called jealousy
It controls your life.

8 – the colour of the flowers you buy me. The day after you beat me

Number nine – is silver. The armour I built around me.
Everyone knows, creatures like you,
Can’t touch silver.