the mesosphere, it seems, is a mystery
and it’s been right there beneath our noses
well, the noses of our satellites at least
the poor mesosphere
the middle child of atmospheric investigation
it’s not that we don’t care, middle child
we really really do
it’s just, you’re so **** hard to read!
I wonder what the corresponding metaphoric mental state is
could there be a layer of my consciousness
hiding there in plain site
and I just don’t have the technical expertise to probe it?
I bet there is
I bet it’s where the aliens are

this whole endeavor started because of you
sorry, him...
so maybe it will be an interesting change
to see where it goes
without you—
errm—him

as muse, that is
probably a lot more poems about
the finer existential points of
earrings and cereal

I always thought
the bands of light around the earth seen from space
represented the reflection of sunlight
through the various densities of atmosphere

they do not!!

they are actual emanations of light
from chemical reactions, cosmic rays, and photoionization
(don’t worry about that last one)

my point is...

                 we glow

                           we, the earth

                                          we glow

                                                          like we’re made of stars

as I mortar these last few bricks in place
my last view of you is the same
as my first

it’s true, you are a terrible disappointment
a heartbreaking disappointment
I get my hopes up
time and time again...
couldn’t you please
just this once
this year
this day
this time
I beg you
please
just this once
get me the good chocolate

I think it’s a positive development
that these days when I’m thinking
“idiot”
I’m mostly thinking you
and not me

I’m much better now
so much better
this here
is my regular amount of malaise
not some special extraordinary kind of misery
laced with longing and anxiety
no, this regular run of the mill depression
I’m quite comfortable with
we’re old friends
we’ve been here for each other
a long time
we know each other’s ins and outs
strengths and weaknesses
I’m perfectly safe here
content even
with it
and not you

I know what it’s like
to live for a certain day
for all the days in between
to go by in a blur
while you wait each week
each month
for that day
thinking the whole time
that on this day
this one day
something amazing will happen

but it never does
it never does
and eventually
that day becomes
like all the other days
a blur
all the days then
are just
a blur

you’ve disrupted my rhythm
it’s all good
I like to re-examine my commitments
it keeps one authentic

we are fading
further
soon we won’t exist at all
except as a discarnate energy
a lost record of
emotional detritus
drifting
until being ****** up
by some other being who recycles us
into something useful
perhaps
an other love

I think I will give walls another try
castles are underrated
you don’t even need a drawbridge
if you can fly
cool grey stone
built into a cliff up high
mythic falls cascading past
with an endless sigh
fearsome forest creatures
who won’t let you by
yes
I think I will give walls
another try

a dusty dirt road dwindled
to a path of no desire
I wandered aimlessly
and without footsteps

the words were like a chainmail
plain and uniform and impenetrable

delicious and nutritious
not at all suspicious

it’s nice to still have feelings
I don’t, really
I’m folded up into a paper basket
not pretty enough to be pretty
and too useless to hold eggs

there’s a storm happening on the ocean
the boundary between sea and sky blurred by
the confused water
the pouring gunmetal static
a thickening albedo of rain drowning the atmosphere

the mass of water spreads rhythmically up
climbing the ladder of itself
there is no light to be caught in its prism
only the dark root of sound
a primordial beckon from the sky
a being of water could find transcendence in such a union
an otherworldly bliss worthy of pursuit
so the water creatures believe
as they climb

it’s fun to look
and swipe
I don’t think I can do much more
I’m not ready to be seen
by someone new

some tests
you can only pass
by failing

I fell asleep in a choker of solid gold
and dreamed I was an Egyptian cat

volcanic quaking
inescapable shaking
noise taking
surprise awakening

umm...
are you really in prison?!?
and if so, how did I get there?
I do not like this story
I am very claustrophobic

there’s a tiny portal to another world
right next to my bed
a gateway to a magical fantastic utopian world
full of colors and shapes and spinning tops
at least that’s what I imagine
I’ve never been
or found the door
but I know it’s there
because somewhere
in some other time space reality matrix
there is a small happy pile
of beautiful single
earrings

I never know what to do
with my hands
someone please tell me

I would like to be secure
so as not to slip
out of my life
or my mind

the square knot is simple
yet easily misunderstood
I admire it’s elegant symmetry
and strength
it is very reliable and can even be
quite unconventional
despite the misleading name

cookies and tea
and a hand on the knee
are a few of the things
I find most lovely

I have a nice feeling
I’m not sure what it is
but it’s nice

I am holding my breath
which is making it hard to breath
while this strange feeling is shaking out
all over my body
a new dance maybe

you know what I want
or do you?
oh, well
that’s too bad

he wasn’t worth it, I know
I mean, jeez
have you SEEN me in a leotard?!?

for the first time in almost 20 years
I am (nearly) out of cereal
I can’t wait

I’m sorry
I messed everything up
I wasn’t... assertive
I got crazy
and then... failed

I’m not handling it well
is all there is to it

tuna left out for the stray
keys in the ignition
a package on the porch
trail magic
a lost and found toy
who you think

I don’t know who you are
but you never had a chance
no sir
are you crazy?
I’m not a pile of seed left out for the birds

When he was little he always told the truth
He didn’t even know it was an option not to
His word was gold
Now
Did you take all the treats? (Lie)
Did you do your work? (Lie)
Did you pick up? (Lie)
Did you quit stalking that poor woman?

I’ve decided we can’t be friends
I’m going to be someone else now
and she’s very busy
with 6,999 bad poems to write

when I’m done being mean
I will go away
don’t worry
I have a lot of mean left
(but I do have a short attention span)

sometimes there’s not enough time in a life to heal
lovers lose
children die
hearts are never found
and we just laugh laugh laugh ourselves to the nearest grave
the life is still beautiful though
course it is

yes, now I can be happy the rest of my life
now the worst has happened

how did that work again?
were there instructions? or?

you are a perfect stranger
just perfect

I would like to be alone forever today
would you like to join me?

you are an eccentric juggler
though not too many appreciate your niche
or even get it really

I’m very good at holding still
at camouflaging time
pause... pause... pause
grains of sand defy gravity
under my spell
I   can    s l o w    i t     d o w n
to make a safe space
with no effect
only
c   a   u   s   e

when my son was little
I told him right away
there is no Santa
he didn’t believe me
just like her when I said
you aren’t real
my son, at least, grew out of it

the investigation is concluded
the detective put down his pen
he sat back
and grimaced

let’s just say
German

I am peaking out this hole
I am leaving scraps
they are my art

hmmm...
(tapping finger to lips)

(raises finger)
I can read this—
just a minute—
(lowers finger back to lips)

hmmm...
(tapping)

translated to colors and shapes
I make more sense

what happens when you sleep?
does she get away from you?
you can’t take care of her?
she tricks you?
you miss crucial plot development...?
what happens when you sleep?