it hurts it hurts oh god it hurts
it cuts it chops it bleeds stabs through
it drags it drains it takes it all
oh god it hurts it hurts it hurts.

it hurts so much im better off dead
it hurts it hurts it hurts.

something great is about to happen
something terrible will then proceed
something about to take me higher
and then drop me right back on my feet.

You know how sometimes it can be enough
To lower your eyes when you smile
For friends to call your bluff
For Shaking hands to open up your soul
Expose your secrets, cut wounds to the core

Beware! My mind screamed mutely
My weakened knees were Shaking when you called
Yellow leaves in slow motion were flaring
So uncovered I felt and so bald.

Seems like it was yesterday
This pain found in me shelter
Unwanted guest
What a terrible mentor

I have wasted so much
Battling, trying,  defending
Saving, crying, pretending
I have wasted so much

Time. It seemed so irrelevant
I let ache swallow me whole
Love. It seemed so important
Above all.

On my mothers bed was I
Lying still, covered up
Couldnt make a sound, whisper
Couldnt make days count, listen
To my favourite songs.

like tsunami
it swallows you whole
like a car crash it breaks you
like a gun
leaves a hole

like a knife cuts your throat
like a noose leaves a bruise
like heartbreak
makes you ache
***** your soul
but you crawl

you cant walk
no strength even to talk
every breath takes it all
needles build
and destroy .

It keeps hold of your heart
And everything becomes unclear
Your thoughts seem tangled up
Courage drowns in deep fear.

The blood stops flowing through
Your veins
Mind overflows.
Too much is going on
But noone knows
Noone can notice what seems to be universe size big to thee
No body hears the loud screams whispers
Voices
Where you find pain
The rest rejoices

leave it, leave it be
let it sting your soul
set it, set it free
bury in the soil.

amplify your pain
simplify your life
let it, let it be
bleed hard when you dive.

be scared, unprepared.
worry, panic, brood.
be misunderstood.

patch your deep old wounds
then cut them open deeper
pierce your skin, my sleeper,
break free from your roots .

it's hard to wake up...
When it's light, but you can feel the dark.
you dont want to get up
you can barely inhale
every chord of your soul
begs for mercy and bail.

you cant look straight ahead
you look back and regret
you cant rejoice or smile
slumber, constant denial.

you can sleep when you're dead
they said.
you can do this and that
but what
i spent years asking
please send help.
i guess i have to wait till im dead.
they said.

you will always be everything.
you will always be anything
and i'll never see better things
unless you are right here
next to me.

i will never be
better than i am
unless you are here
laying next to me.

blossom never will
as im laying still
in the grave i'd dug
so high on your love

If home's where the heart is
Then I must be heartless
This place still feels alien
And my soul in crisis.
I change countries and people
I change sceneries, towns
Different captures and tongues
Different 'hi"s and 'goodbye's
Nothing's ever the same
Apart from my own name.
Apart from how i feel
In a foreigner's skin.

if love is what you're looking for
then look no farther
than your own family: mother, your father.

If luck is what you're seeking,
stop and be,
luck cant be found, developed,
luck is thee.

If sound is what you need
then stop and listen
to this world's gentle, soft and calming whisper.

he treats her like goddess
he treats her right.
he waits for her, he calls,
brightens her nights.

he speaks of her with so much love
affection
in every word he says-
there's her reflection.

with every breath he takes he thinks of her
he worries, occupied with her concerns.

he sends her letters, keeps her in his sight
he treats her like a goddess
treats her right.

and in return, i notice every time
when she looks up at him
her eyes glow with sincere light.
They widen, open to the world
when she looks up at him
i see, they are two stars
illuminating night.

His eyes are oceans and I drown in his gaze every night
His voice - my motions, my emotios and my light.
His movements hypnotise me,
I cant look away
Every word he says is binding
I am led astray.
His smile's spell casting, charming, mesmerising
His figure Lean, so confident so tough
My knees go weak around him,
His touch's so surprising
I think this is how people define love.
He holds you still and all you dare to do
Is breath evenly, steadily, rarely,
Shaking through and through.

Dont tell me youre happy
While trying your noose
Smile like you mean it
When it comes loose.
Dont tell me youre joyful
Then ask to pull the chair
I have seen one too many
Times this look of despair
Your eyes say it all
You glance at the floor
Your hands shake like leaves
With all bullets you miss.
I would miss you so
For I love you so
And I know youre strong
Find where you belong
Never let it go
Keep it close to you
And I need you so
For your my own soul.

i held your hand when you exhaled
and the world stopped as you paused time
i cried my heart out as i pondered
and reminisced of yours and mine.
no more weak ticking in dead silence
no more confused insistent clamour
i grew to hold in bitter drama
where once was peace now chaos, harmar.

im burning down the bridges
im taking down the castles
what used to be so strong
and seemed so massive
no longer stands so confidently still
no longer lasts, no longer fortress, was not will.
I opened my eyes and saw light once more
what used to hurt badly,
now i come back for more.
no longer cry
no longer scared
prepared.

so far i've missed you with every word
so far i've missed you with every dream
im burning down the bridges
what they seem.

It's like when someone stabs you over and over.
It's like you're being left daily by your perfect lover
It's like you are drowning but people are watching
It's like you've been chained to the air, the doors latched, and
The world seems so small
But your dreams are so big
And this constant sharp pain
Makes you tastelessly weak.
You lay there, heart in seizures
No one noticed a thing
you cry: it's so obvious
what you carry within.

Saw the light glowing
Thought I was drowning
Reached out to grab it
But captured the air
Saw you were watching
Your lips were moving
No words were spoken
I  wouldn't dare.

Stuck in the middle
Distance is growing
Cold lifeless full stops
Fill up your lungs.
Heartless you stop and
Shapeless Im begging
Forgiveness is something
You haven't seen once.

i waited and ran downstairs so often
as if if i didn't go my door'd never open.
i waited and breathed in tact with my sorrow
deep, dark, so intimate your air i borrowed.

minutes seemed years and seconds seemed so still
my patience ran so low, it ran so thin
i waited till the end and then gave in
i stood there by your side, never went in.

i waited listened to the clock so hungrily and bravely
i stared at the four walls i was confined in daily
i waited and i ran downstairs so often
as if if i didn't go your door'd never open.

Be everything you want to be
When tides rise high
Be everything and more
Be thee.


Do everything you want to do and more
Do what makes your heart beat thousand times faster
And skin crawl.

Forget about the bad about the sad
Remember only good, be joyful, glad
There comes the time
We get stuck in a heartless, biting slumber
But it's only a day, drop in an ocean, number.

this could be a song
and could be a movie.
i could be bright and sunny
or pitch black sad and gloomy
they could be notes and ties
truth could always be lies
definitions could be
mine is you, yours is me.
world could turn upside down
world could stop and stay still
everything could be different
i could be made of steel.

Just take a deep breath
let it, let it go
don't rap it, sing it, live it
do it slow

will you be mine or will i suffer still;
will you be in me, i won't rest my soul until
I get my hands on  you, on all you love
i m standing still looking at you like angel from above.

Will ever you be mine i wonder here
do i make you feel way you make me feel?
do i make you as nervous and excited
startled before the choice, glad and

will you be ever mine and not bring the bad with you
will you make me the happiest of all
im thinking looking hungrily at you
my sweet and slightly sour sausage roll

sometimes i am
sometimes I'm not
sometimes my mind tights into knots.
sometimes it's pain
sometimes it's bliss,
yesterday's burn
today's a kiss.

Today i've lost my friend again for umpteenth time.
Since we fell out i've been losing her daily
i would wake up and lose her in my mind
repeating words and wishing life was fair, see

Today ive lost my friend and so will do tomorrow
it hurts, it has for the last year, my pain my sorrow
today i spoke to her again like year ago
today she let me down i let her go

tomorrow we will speak again and she will sound cold hearted
tomorrow she wont care that our ways parted
and i will still be feeling guilty, empty
and i will still suffer from  loneliness so hefty.

I don't know what it is that makes me love you
What makes the skies seem clear only above you
And. I know we live miles away, and pages
Thousands of words away, and worlds and dreams and stages.

I wish to meet the real you and be loved
For what I am for what I stand
Be taken;
For what you are, for what it's worth
For maybe we could be happy together
Be forsaken.

I'm not the one you tried and changed the world for
I'm not the one you saved, you cherished, loved
But hoping one day I can meet the real you
You ll save me from my life for what it's worth.

i'll build a bridge and you'll cross over
And when it rains- i'll be your cover.
I'll build a house and hide you in it
and when there's pain - i'll be your limit.

all i need is a bit inspiration
but where do i find one when i look?
i source rhymes from my lone desperation
i look for what you left and what took.
on my plate there is little of hopeful
there is not much of happy or full.
there is plenty of lonely,, deceitful
i cant tell when i stopped being a fool.
all i need is a bit self destruction
and i only achieve such by trying
to love myself without no distractions
i succeed when i rot and lie crying.
Push yourself over limit and failure
get back on your feet, if needed - knees.
Brush and shake off the horrible feeling
like you're nothing, inspire and breathe.
I think i have found my inspiration
finally i know what i want to say
let out all so long bottled frustration
aim to give, there is nothing to gain.

this is a very lonely world
we're born alone and  lone we're learnt
we're bred alone
alone we live
we search alone
the ground beneath.
alone we pray, alone believe
alone we stay alone we leave.
a single person you and i
one match, one candle, single eye.
this is a very lonely world
for those who hope to say right words
we grow old lonely
in the aftermath
we are still single soldiers
walking different paths.

your friends wont remember
your name in a day
your parents will live on
a niddle in stock of hay.

come hold my hand
i think
come accidentally touch
my arm
i hope.
Stand near
i pray so i can feel your warmth
come close
i cry and call
come close.
Admire from afar
I hope you are.
Think of me before sleep
then dream so deep.
i think.
"Come close
i call
come stand right next to me
so i can feel your warmth"
i hope you think.
Be dismal, be dejected, feel refused.
Call me when slumbering not by my name
but call your muse.
Feel hopeless but feel fearless
spread your wings
but be so shy around me, trembling knees.
I think
come hold my hand
i hope
stand near, stand close.
dont talk just be there
by chance touch my arm
at last be caught up in the nets of my blunt charm.
i think
i am not worthy of your glance, your smile
i hope
maybe  my thoughts will turn out to be true...?
denial.

he takes off her coat and hangs near the mirror
Gently whipers don't worry my dear
It won't hurt.
He takes off her jacket undoing her shirt
If you could read her mind you wouldnt learn what she slurred
In the desperate moment
When noone dares to look
She is scared as a rabbit
That's just been caught by a Wolf
Not the first time she trembles
But first time feels ashamed
Not the first time shes kissing
First time her thoughts are hissing
Like white noise in her head.

my love turned into dust
my heart is coal
i shook the world off me
and grabbed the soil
i ran to keep the earth moving and spinning
the end of this was end of my beginning.
pathetic
hear me?
i speak words of truth
pathetic
you with ugly useless youth.
with time the beauty fades
your mind comes reeling
so when you run to contribute to the earth spinning
you will be thrown off into space
forgotten
love turned to dust
heart black, hard,
and bones rotten.

there is a road that i have travelled
they is a heart that i have broken
in so many ways my life has been so
empty and  hollow, words are unspoken.

there are the eyes i havent seen yet
i havent fallen in love or sinned and
there is so much i want to be
but nothing matters
when you arent with me.

i sing the words i read on billboards
i rhyme the letters of complains
even the worst that could bring me down
i will let it wait, the whole world awaits

there is a road that i've not travelled
there is a dream i havent lived
there is this love i havent given
there is so much i want to give.

THere is a face, a soul, a person
i havent met yet in my tracks
there is a hand i havent held but
but new hope is born with a new tusk.

im in pieces
you're at peace and
the water rises
the waters hissing.
The sky gets darker
the wind is stronger
wrapped up in cold air
i aim at noone.
my thoughts are pure gold
but you're my acid
you burn right through me
i cant get past this.
i am a train wreck
i lost the railways
wandered off somewhere
looking for bright days.

lift your head to the sun
feel the warmth and the cold
lift your arms to the sky
and feel sold.
you have never been free
you depend on all the
people round and about
people off stage tonight
people playing their roles
people crying near poles.
lift your head to the stars
it's a beautiful wander
it will start with light rain
but end in deadly thunder.
it will start a good book
end with twist and a hook
it will take you away from the best of the days.
you depend on the others
what they do what they say
you depend,its your air
it's a dragon you slay.
**** it now
cut the ropes
fly away from these shores.

i stood there cold
Freezing my hands
Thinking if this
**** ever ends

I couldn't feel
My limbs or guts.
I couldn't move
But the cold lasts.

My tight ripped jeans
Inviting wind
My spring lite Coat
gIves you a hint.

Im no good choosing what to wear
When I get up before the sun
I'm thinking maybe the next day
Wake up on time, put something warm.

i am strong i wont break
i wont show you my weakness.
i am better than that,
wait, and you will witness
i am higher than skies
i am purer than lakes
hold on there little girl
do whatever it takes.
i am strong i wont cry
if i have to- i'll hide.
i am higher than sun
i am brighter than light.
i will bear it and suffer
i will protect my shuttle.
try and break down my walls
try and lose, i suppose.

This city cuts
This city bleeds.
The lights are blinding
Concrete streets.

A littered nature
Faded sun
In stitches are
All lakes and farms.

You run and run
Try to escape
You feel the pain
Try not to break

Your soul unfolds
Mind closes gates
You've seen it all
You know the dates.

let go and i will be your muse
imprison, and i wont refuse.
hold tight to save me,
keep me warm;
what's day,
when night is dense and strong.
what's water, when wine hits your head?
what's life to you, if you're already dead

you leave no shadow on the wall;
there's no reflection in the mirror.
i wonder if you're there at all
to make my pain seem real, fear- clearer.

you leave no trace of being around,
no visual no scent or sound;
no touch, no feeling, no restrain.
you left no mercy and no blame

remember you walked in the rain?
and i held your cold, liveless hand
you told me you wanted to run
away from the world's endless rant.
remember i squeezed your hand tight?
when tears started burning your eyes
remember i held you and tried
to show you the colours
you chose to stay blind.
we carried on walking through storm
as wind would push us far apart
we held on to each other so tight
all we did we believed was so right.
the sky went so dark and so grey
your heart grew so cold, you looked drained
and i didnt know what to do
and all my attempts were so faint.
remember we walked in the rain?
i thought those were drops from the sky
but when the sun came out at once
i saw those were tears , your soul's cry.

you let me down
you let me fall
i still reach for you
after all.
i think of what's happened
nothing's ever been right
but heart keeps the war up and against you
but my soul keeps on winning the fight.

i searched for what i craved the most;
i thought i'd had it before lost.
i tried the sea, i searched the earth
i looked elsewhere no bliss just curse.

I looked under pillows, and deep in the sands
i dived deep into waters of unfulfilled plans;
i wondered round woods though dense, scary nights
i searched for what i could't find in his eyes.

"love" all i was craving.
it was all that i needed.
all i waited, i wanted
i prayed for and seeded.
i watered and cared for
cherished, protected.
i cuddled and held
not to break, but to save it.

for all i know your time has come;
the light has taken over ways of your mere charm
the sky above has fallen down on hell
and what you loved echoes in sounds created by the bell
under glass cover we all live, unbothered
our souls are shut, but shirts are wide, unbuttoned;
you take a step into the world of mine
you hop and hope you leave me none of time.
my heart in seizure, scattered on the ground
i go through motions til i m breaking down.

i wandered amongst lifeless souls
where were my thoughts i called my home
where i left love i called the past
and what i found, forget i must.
i ve battled fears and unknown dreams
seems like i havent slept in weeks
you were the best thing in my life
until you said i aint the right.
person for you and i should leave
wipe clean the feelings that i breed
i want to go, i want to stay
where i am found i would remain
no more sweet words and cruel jokes
you wont cut deeper than my thoughts
as soon as you have left my head
i ll start to plan what lies ahead.
as soon as you have left my heart
stopped being my life's the biggest part
you have become my own mistake
my one regret, a promise i won't ever break.
sometimes i reckon its my turn
to suffer like the rest of us
then i see my self turn to dust
along with bridges that i ve burnt
the happier you get the worse
my love's become my only curse
my friend's become the death of me
how could i foolishly believe
that someone would be true to us
someone would clean my dark grey skies.
i was so wrong, that 's why it burns
i wish for one day we switched turns.
i would be happy i am free
and you would die inside and bleed.
your eyes would fill with smoke and ash
your ears would ring, and system crash.
you wouldnt stand straight
wouldnt care,
before you go to sleep, so scared
you would be crying all night long
your tears turn red
your limbs go cold.
then you would go back to yourself
all happy free in love with else.
and i dont care, and i dont mind
you re something i will leave behind.

im not a fan of being weak
im not a fan at all
but all of us have moment when
Tears run and hit the floor.

Im not a fan of swearing much
I don't use ***** words
But all of us are human to
swear the **** out when hurts.

im not a fan of drinking games
i am a mummy's daughter
but hey, can you please hold my glass?
my turn to spin the bottle.

im not a fan of taking drugs
and that's how i was born
though they say yesterday i claimed
"i'm yellow unicorn"!

If you let me in, i might crumble and break
i might stumble and fall
i might make some mistakes.
I might let you down once,
i might let you down twice
but i'll never get tired
of looking into your eyes.

If you let me in, i will forever be yours
be as gentle as silk, i'll be your faithful voice.
I'll hold you in my arms
when you're scared or confused
hold your hand when you're falling
accept when you're  refused.

I will be by your side
i will fight all your fears
i will lessen my pride
and build bridges from piers.
I will always forgive
no matter how big the sin
i will be your best bet
If you just let me in.

your very best
my very worst
your heart is healed
my pipes have burst
youre warm and dry
im soaking wet
youre home and full
im rarely fed.
you're bright and well
im tired and coy
youre confident
i am destroyed.
what happened
nothing i reply
i am ecstatic
i am fine.

and i dont want to go to sleep
for morning wont heal hearts.
and i dont want to stay awake so
i can feel all of my shattered *****'s parts.

no i dont want to be in my right mind
when i suddenly realise what i had had
it's been a year. i dreaded this day now
a year you've gone away and i am still in need, in need of you

my hands will hold you while my eyes cant see
my hearing will help find you when my legs wont lead
and when im breathless i will finally start living
for i ll forget who you are, yes, im willing.