i stepped inside the new year without you.
never thought i'd be able to;
yet here i am, sober but drunk on hopes and expectations
behind left disappointments and frustrations
i stepped inside the new year without you.

one day it will all be ok
once upon a time my will be done
even if i am long, long decayed
and i am no more but portion of time.

i know it's wrong to love you
and i shouldn't
but give me chance to change it
and i wouldn't
give me another try at making first impression
another go at faking my perfection
i'd blew it once again
i'd disappoint you
that's just the way i am
and me pretending being someone else-
there is no point to.
like class A drug i'd still inject you
shoot you under my skin into already failing system
you are the cure from clear mind, strength, and too much wisdom.
im kept with feet firm on the ground by you reminding
the love i made up in my head
so hopeful, binding,
is nothing more but product of my own imagination
and it's not fair how frequent and how fast around your axis is
my  rotation.
it seems i know what you're looking for
it seems i know exactly what you need
and i know all about your type of breed.

I don't know where I'm heading
With my head in the sand
Not the future I'm dreading
But the past in my present.

I don't know what I'm doing
With my heart on my sleeve
You can witness me break
Dive in in disbelief.

I don't know where I'm heading
Maybe I'm standing still
Not the pain I am dreading
But not being able to feel.

some innocence better not pled
some hearts are better left untouched
when young love's buried in the sand
it all may seem a bit too much.
some people better never met
some words are better left unsaid
and lover's warmth against your skin
is better kept when kept within.

it's better not to see or hear
dissolve rather than disappear
and aspirations locked inside
and fate is better faced with pride.
young lovers beware of the curse
the one replacing universe
one day'll explode and leave black hole
with nothing left safe sound or whole.

There comes the time when reality hits you
It crashes illusions and ***** on your dreams too
Like tornado it grabs you, lifts you up in the air
Throws from side to side, wrecks you
While greedy onlookers stare.
There comes this feeling of emptiness,
Filling with oceans your eyes
And in the arms of a friend
You enter place where hope dies.

nothing can keep me occupied
im bored of all i love
his eyes are light somewhere deep down
and off the edge im shoved.
restless im pacing round the room
no corner to escape
dont want to sit, no strength to stand
and fainting comes so soon
the noose inside my chest is spiked
and off my feet im swooshed
no turning back, no drinking less
as off the brink im pushed.