i tried to make it work
i gave him all:
my aspirations, inspiration
body, soul.

With nothing left
im left;
and nothing's right.
brighter than hell
burn my days into one
lonely cold night.

I gave you one third of my life
my thoughts my tears;
my smiles, my believes;
my deepest fears;

And i will give you seventy years more
until the world ends,
by time we no more.
the day might come you wake up
with the other
the other will take off your shirts and head.
and you'll be joyful
tender, caring
and never wish 't was me instead.

and maybe after all this time
you're still not mine;
and it may hurt me more than ever;
after seven years i lose track of time
as into plague turns this withstanding fever.

last time we talked it didn't end so well;
and since i've gone through waters high, and hell;
since then i've grown, i've learnt,
could be i have recovered;
last time we talked something inside me died,
but something better since then i've discovered.
no longer waiting for a word from you, a sign;
i don't wake up mid night to loud voices inside;
last time we talked it might not ended well;
enchanted, fooled me for a while, broke the spell;
like ghost you haunt me, live my days beside me;
though i ignore, and try to push aside thee;
you come down and you pour like summer rain
you mess my hair up, tangle thoughts inside my brain;
you bury me and fill my lungs with sand;
your blizzards never knew how to withstand.
one day i will wake up, your name'll sound unfamiliar;
one day your face will be a face of just another passing stranger
last time we talked was last time i felt fearful
now i feel safe, outside the zone of danger.

Your heart will break over and over
When you meet one
Who blows your cover;
The world will end with every morning
To be reborn through pain and mourning.
Cold water burns your skin like fire
But flames won't leave even a mark
Because compared to inside sorrow
A knife that sticks out of your back
Is safer.
A gun that's being held to my head
A noose tired firmly round my neck
Poison in coffee when days start
I'd rather choose over your heart.

think back to when somebody broke your heart
and i immediately thought about the times
we spent apart.
and instantly i went back to the place
outside train station, lone, exhausted, drained.
when i awaited you for hours, prayed you'd come
indifferent, restraining, murky, calm
you said: 'yeah, i'll catch you next time".
my feelings take me back every night
to when i saw you first across the room
and thought i'd never like all what you had
and now, to avoid all you've never touched i'm doomed.
think back to when somebody crashed your hopes
and made you feel like you're a worthless idiot.
you always wanted what i never got
and i will never love what you are not.

i feel like im trapped in a cage
and the lock's getting tougher
as i rave in sheer rage
i feel like im wearing a vest
that is too tight to breathe in,
as it crushes my chest.
the hight never scared me at all
and i've always looked up
traced those firm concrete walls
all the way to the skies
i mistook them for paths
guiding me to the heaven
while hell was where i was.
I could never imagine
how much i'd fall for your gaze
how i'd search for your figure
in this foreign thick haze.
I could never envision
i'd get to taste your stiff lips
wrap my arms round your body
and let go of my shield.
you fall silent for months
nonchalant and unworried
whilst my days are now one
my steps no longer solid.
and im thinking i could
just get rid of you now.
block your way back into
my life.
but if you disappear,
everything i live for
all my hopes, expectations
stay behind the closed door
on the same side as you.

i thought i got what i wanted
why do i feel like a ghost?
yet im haunted
there's no place for my soul to rest
there's no place for my heart to beat
i feel im doing my very best
yet im failing, i suffer defeat.
i though i got what i wanted
turns out i lost the little i had
never gained happines i was after
now i fight with myself in my head.  
and no cigarette will make it easy
and no wine will release me from pain
now im on the road too hard to travel
where i am i dont want to remain.
where im from there's no more room for my dreams
no more space for my ego, my thoughts
where do i go, what door do i knock on
where they'll take my pure love and my faults.