that it is a journey
Of
1000 miles

//                                            
She was sittin on the bed with the 200 lbs of
Macrame string that we managed to buy
At Fisherman's Wharf

With the help of 5 complete strangers

Who had showered us with the

Life altering kindness

You think really doesn't exist

( but it does ! )

//

And she said

DO YOU WANT TO HELP ME MAKE THE BELTS AND POUCHES ?

I turned to my brain and told it to tell my mouth

To say NO

Firmly ( but nicely )

I turned to her and said

SURE
WHEN DO WE START ?


//

JESUS **** !

I started screaming ( silently )

at my brain

YOU TRAITOR !

And you , MOUTH  !

You knew !  You knew !!

••

She became ecstatic !

And said

GREAT!
WE' LL START WITH ME TEACHING YOU
THE BASIC SQUARE KNOT !

//

I started to give my brain it's obvious instruction

BUT !

I blurted out

WOW !
I ALWAYS WANTED TO LEARN HOW
TO MAKE SAILOR'S KNOTS

//

I turned in a huff to these 2 fiends of brain and mouth

And said ( silently )

ALWAYS ?
YOU MADE ME SAY

ALWAYS   !?
A WEEK AGO WE HAD NEVER EVEN HEARD

OF SAILOR 'S KNOTS !!

///

Then the song
Of
JANIS JOPLIN
came to me

FREEDOM ' S JUST ANOTHER WORD
FOR NOTHIN LEFT TO LOSE ----

//

and I now had nothin left

My life was surrendered to hers

( due to the love and kindness of strangers ! )

••

But  ( you see )

There was a massive mistake in my calculations
( again )

You see

SHE
had ( unknownst to me with my selfish heart )

Made a similar commitment to me !

And / more and more /only asked me to do what
I really wanted to do

( even to learn to do macrame )

What I was afraid to do without encouragement

••

WE BECAME A       TEAM !

//

We both had different social skills

She was so unbelievably compassionate

She was so able to break thru people's fears
And enter into such trust inducing relationships

It seemed like magic to me

//

I was really good at organizing things

Setting plans

Seeing the picture of the goals
We needed to accomplish

//

In a certain sense

We never talked

--

A glance back and forth

A subtle gesture

//.

Complete unity

••

People would ask

HOW YOU 2 GETTING ALONG !?

ARE YOU IN LOVE !?

""

and we would look at each other and wonder

GETTING ALONG ?
IN LOVE ?

And not have the slightest idea what they were talking about !

//

And that might help explain
Why

When I read the poems here

I don't know what you are talking about

//

( not the slightest idea )

//

Like there is a weird thing happening
And then it gets weirder

And then someone gets upset because it gets weirder
But it was weird already !

••

And then the strangest vocabulary gets going

Trying to describe some feelings that are really only thoughts

About something that isn't really happening anyway

( or something like that )

••

So

On and on it goes !

I just try to be

Like those strangers on Fisherman's Wharf

Trying to make the magic

That is pure human kindness

//

To throw myself upon

The BARBED WIRE OF EGO

So that you might

climb my back

AND LEAP INTO THE FREEDOM
OF          INFINITY !

Forget safety.
Live where you fear to live.
Destroy your reputation.
Be notorious.*

Rumi