I dreamt I'd died
That I'd stood aside and watched my funeral
Only to see you there
I couldn't move
I couldn't speak
I was trapped
Watching you cry
It'd made me weak
To the point I woke
Only to cry myself
To sleep again

I know I haven't the right
Yet still I dream of you at night
I dream of the first time we'd been introduced
That moment I was instantly seduced
I dream of you laughing
You're always smiling
Your every move graceful
Impossibly beautiful

I lay here now

I just want to love you

Questioning how

How could I have loved you

I get it
Hopefully it brought you closure
Just understand this
I did as I did
For you
For you alone
It tore me apart
Far from the point
I'd done it all for you
I had to leave
My presence your toxicity
My absence your healing
Many things went unsaid
Most likely best that way
I do wish you well
Only ever
I could never be mad
Not with you
I wish you well
In health
In life
In love

Have you ever met someone
Someone who's smile alone
Gave you peace
Joy
Love
The hope of a better world

I dreamt of you
I dreamt I lay aside you
Your head arest my chest
My fingers scribbling
I was actually writing
Writing about you
Your every beauty
From soul to being
Could I tell you this
Out of place
We're strangers now

The mark has been made
The X of pain
Crimson it flowed
As tears
Cowardice
For I couldn't handle it
I ran again
The X of cowardice
Shaking
Trembling
Because I saw you again

Why do I feel you
Everywhere I go
I've come to terms
With what I'd done
Although still
I feel the need to see you again
Even briefly
Although it's best not to
I think, I assume
But I hope still
To see you someday
To see you smile
To know you are okay
Even from a far
I just need to know you are okay