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Life points ahead, but turns unseen
Lead us through fields we’ve never been.
We chase the dreams, bright maps unfold,
But roads grow rough, and hearts grow cold.
Each path we tread, a chance we miss,
The winding way, life’*****-and-miss.
The North Star Nov 2020
I'm moving
Compartmentalizing
Sorting

I'm moving
Counting down the days
Crossing the notches on a wall

I'm moving
Eulogizing
Saying Goodbye

I'm moving
And

I'm never coming back
The North Star Feb 2021
My cup is full
Overflowing
I have no outlet to release

And so...
I write
The North Star Mar 2014
In the confines of four corners
lies the imagination of a child
the imagination becomes endless, it's own universe expanding about
and it is in this instance that the world is missing out

Missing out on the endless possibilities to attain
self control on levels of infinite realities
to seek itself in a mirror and to create what isn't, plain
old Joe they said, they didn't offer a chance

the chance to lay the identity on the table, rather it has been prescribed
ascribed, it has become- no longer seeking but just a glance
at which once was, but isn't no more

the four corners have contracted inward
no more imagination to draw
from, what happens now is not serene
the dark is welcomed, the light exiled
there's not much to reconcile
what was once a rose bush, now just thorns
the days are rejected, the night adorned

when words fade and objects come alive
mysticism arrives to die
The North Star Mar 2014
Isn't it funny how we underestimate the power of our voices?
this sound that emanates from our throats, formulating words...
...are not just noises

Right?
I'm guessing it's pretty silly to assume that our voices are just perfectly placed noises, combining to converse with others, argue with others, woo others, defend others, offend others...

And it occurs to me that my voice, is not used the way I want it to be
instead, it's being limited. Limited to the sombre pleasures of others
entertaining people who probably don't bother, much about me
instead my voice is caged up, way up in my own thoughts

They say talking to yourself is the first sign of schizophrenia
do people who fear talking talk to themselves? Glossophobia they call it.
I say talking to others contributes to our enraging insanity
the society that conceals my voice, taints the will to be heard.

One day I got up from my seat in class to say a speech
I was surprised with what I was about to meet.
first came the silence, then the bafflement
people for the first time got the chance to hear my voice

Bewilderment? yes, Endearment? no
for what they heard was not the sound of a nightingale in the forest
but rather the sound of an emancipated prison screaming to the reaches of the farthest

The scene made me sit back and assess
my life looking back needed to be addressed
A voice isn't supposed to be internalised, is it?
But why do I struggle to break out?

Why is it so hard to let people hear my voice?
Why, why, why

My answer?

That's what you get when you underestimate the power of your voice.
The North Star Mar 2023
I close my eyes and remember
The days of freedom and care
The magic of a childhood summer
The joys that were once there

The memories that we used to share
The laughter and the fun
The sun on skin, the salty air
The moments that we won

The sand beneath our feet
The waves crashing on the shore
The days that felt so sweet
We long for evermore

The beauty of the sunset
The stars in the night sky
The moments of regret
We want them to never die

The nostalgia of those days
The feeling of escape
The freedom to run and play
We will never forget this place
The North Star Mar 2015
im not having the best of days
the universe is out to get me
I don't know what ive done wrong, there must be
a reason why I feel shackled, in a haze

weights on my shoulder refusing to relieve
seven days of thorough torment
my life is my own enemy, disbursing enjoyment
of such pain, desperate need of a reprieve

I cried today, internally though
my face mimicked, like a duck
calm on the surface
frantic beneath

i think i needed it though
not entirely certain
its time to close this curtain
before  emotions overflow
The North Star Jul 2020
Depths
of
Emotion rolling back...
...forth
The tide is low
as am I
It's immense
Inescapable
The
Drowning is welcomed
Accepted
The North Star Mar 2016
Paint me like the burnt air.
Unwanted, careless and forcibly inhaled.

Paint me like the bruises on my chin.
Blue hued, swollen and new.

Paint me like blood.
Flowing and hidden, threatening to flood out.

Paint my pain.
No one else knows, I so desperately need to share.

In vain, paint me
In vain, paint me in vain.
The North Star Nov 2020
The air outside is cold
Biting
Inviting
Ominous

I sit and watch
Entranced
Buoyed with emotions
The air grows thick

My thoughts,
My thoughts are running
Elusive, kempt
My heart, shallow beating

Pensive, wading and waiting
The air, a synapse waiting to spark.
The North Star Feb 2021
Pourquoi cet amour n'est-il pas facile Pourquoi est-ce que quand l'amour est là, ce n'est pas facile

Pourquoi cette douleur vient-elle facilement Et la douleur est un fruit défendu

Pourquoi est-ce que ce qui n'est pas pour nous, nous attire le plus Pourquoi est-il si difficile de partir Encore plus difficile de rester

Pourquoi ai-je peur de te blesser Pourquoi ai-je besoin de te blesser
pour moi
The North Star Mar 2021
It
Stops
Us
From
Asking
For
Help
Before
It
Is
Too
Late
The North Star Jul 2020
Respect is given freely
Earned? No
So it goes without saying, it can be lost
Pursuant to emptiness
Existentially present, eternal
Clinch it, like air
Take note, it isn't taught
The North Star Feb 2021
There was once a man
Who sought out wisdom from the Gods
Old and New

He ventured from the East to the West
From the North to the South

Upon a desert he stopped
Wrought with hopelessness and despair

He gazed up to the heavens
As he thought
He began to count the stars and pay homage
To each one

When he had finished
He knelt
The sand below drenched in his sweat
His tears

He closed his eyes and opened his ears to hear
The whispers and whims of the desert

As the sand envolped him
The whispers and whims
Paid him homage

All that was in him and was him
Returned from whence he came
The North Star Dec 2014
I gaze upon the broken rose
pulling petals
finding joy
in little things
The North Star Sep 2015
I am seeking
For so long I have been seeking
And yet...

I do not know what I seek

What is it I'm looking for
Where is the direction
Deflection
What stands in my way

Motivation
I lack the motivation to carry on

Seeking
The North Star Jul 2020
Funny how when's it's low
There is alot said about others
a full vocabulary
magnetic, low and so others shall be too
The North Star Feb 2020
Everytime I look at you I smile.
If only you'd see deep in my eyes and see...

My smile isn't what it seems to be.
The North Star Nov 2021
I've got to lay some signposts
Everytime things get tough
I find myself forgetting to count the cost

I'm chasing ghosts
Uncovering stuff
Unraveling the past

I need to lay some signposts
To remind me
How far I've come

Or fallen

I need to lay some signposts
To find my way again
To warn and avoid
The North Star Feb 2020
Sometimes
You're not the one
To save her

Sometimes
You're not the one
Who'll bring her happiness.

Maybe,
Maybe you're just the one
The one that gets her looking towards the shore
The North Star Mar 2021
I'm sorry
I'm not sure what for

I'm sorry
I guess I'm prone

To mistakes
The North Star Nov 2020
It's a starry night

I gaze deep into the vastness of the heavens
There's a void tugging and tugging within

I long to fill it

I continue to gaze
I let the ocean of stars, bursts, matter and atoms carry me

Soothed
Calm

The void is satisfied

For now...
The North Star Apr 2018
The blue hour Is when I am constantly thinking of You
It is when you capture me thickly in your presence
The amazement in this time

The hue of the heavens sky, blush strokes and strokes of yellow, blue fading to black just after the preceding promise of passion red slowly appearing

There is something in this hour that leaves me wanting
leaves me wanting more - yet I cannot help but feel satisfied

There's just something about your perfection that satisfies me. Deeply.

And yet I just cannot get enough. It's almost paradoxical. Surely if I was satisfied, I could move on right?

I supposed when You are enough, satisfaction is a given - a prerequisite when we come in contact with each other.

But that's just it isn't it - it's all about that contact

I can only be satisfied if I'm constantly returning to your well of Life.

Water can only quench for a limited time...
But what I actually seek, what I actually find in your presence quenches me for a lifetime and lifetimes over and again.

For whoever drinks of the water You give them will never be thirsty again.
They walk in ranks, all clad the same,
No colors bold, no voice or name.
In their pursuit to balance scales,
They’ve forged a path that sadly fails.

They cry for rights, for leveled fields,
But lose the spark that freedom yields.
For in the crowd, where shadows blend,
Uniqueness meets a silent end.

To stand apart is to be free,
To claim the gift of “I am me.”
But those who chase what others own
Find they’re more lost, not closer grown.

For equal steps on weary ground
Can bind the soul, its spirit bound.
No one so low as those who cling
To sameness as their guiding thing.
The North Star Feb 2021
The heart of time broke
Tears so tangible
Dry as sand

Tick tick
crack crack

Time
Broken

Pain, visceral
Endless.

Infinite.
The North Star Mar 2021
Maybe there is only one God
Because
The Old Gods saw us for what we really were

Not what we could be

And walked away

Then...the Old Gods wouldn't be so much
Different

Than you and I
The North Star Mar 2014
There she dances
No care in the world
No care for glances
Nor criticisms hurled
The North Star Jul 2014
More biting,
less soothing.
such power, of lesser significance
sharp like a knife, piercing the heart
cool like the wind, seducing

Give it time
it'll bite
bite deep.
The North Star Feb 2020
There're against us
You and I
They don't want this to happen.
You and I

It can't happen.
Why
It can't
Why

It hurts, when reality hits.
The North Star Feb 2014
This is me sweet and short
I'll tell you now I bring forth naught, to the table
I'm no looker, definitely no smooth talker
My banter is unique, I can yet confirm, only sweet
as most of them say

If you happen to collapse near my way
be rest assured it"ll make my day

there won't be guilt, regret or sorrow
only contempt, maybe a pleasant surprise tomorrow

This is me if you will
an open canvas, for you to fill
The North Star Feb 2020
They say when you become intimate with someone...
Your souls intertwine..
Tied together, tethered and unbroken.

The thing is...in an amongst things tangled all akimbo.

When things dont work out...
How can you turn and walk away...

How can this link ever be broken once there's no longer any use for it?

Like a rope burn, etched forever...

The pain will stay.

It would be ignorant to say the both of us would feel this way, but again the truth is...

This will always be a one-sided affair, the pain. The suffering.  The void-filled mess within my thoughts. Knowing full well I'll never be intimate with you...

Feel you...
See you...
know you again...

Deep down, I know full well...

We're tied together.
The North Star Apr 2020
A moment
If I could ask for one thing
It would be a moment
To go back to a brief moment
A time where it was simple
Not a thought
Only a feeling
Not a consequence
Only the present

I wish I could go back
And stay there.
The North Star Feb 2014
It's been years since we first met
yet this concealed feeling remains...

Being friends just isn't enough any more
Fear controls this invisible force between us
To afraid to confide...to say 'hello'

to afraid to say "I love you..."
The North Star Feb 2020
Feeling trapped
Speculation upon speculation
There's a chaos in my mind

I cannot escape.
You.

I cannot escape.
"We need to talk..."
The North Star Mar 2016
Isn't it funny how the phone charger in theory resembles that of an umbilical cord?

Even as adults, we long for what was - from once we were torn

Isn't it something to say that something so important to modern society
Resembles something symbolic to birth
To nature

It's anything but
Sure it feeds energy and life just like the cord used to...
Sure it's useful in its own sense
Just like the cord used to...

Perhaps they share similar ends...
They'll both fade away from use and be thrown away
The North Star Nov 2021
Irked
Annoyed and frustrated
The world and all its encompassing parts
Hurt

It's all too much
The North Star May 2015
It is gained so slowly, lost so quickly
We fight over it, we burn over it
Immense and long graft awaits us, an early mourning next
Controlled by something foolishly we had to create
A temporary happiness, unsatisfied and unfulfilled
All over a piece of paper, an apparent expense
Why
The North Star Mar 2021
Why
I
Can't find a way
Can't catch a break
Why
Is it so hard

Why do I have to
Do the things I do

Why does it have to
Work the way it does

Why do things

Conspire against me
Why is it hard to breathe

Why
The North Star Feb 2021
I yearn to feel the nights air
Smell the earth after rain

I yearn to experience love
Feel a kiss upon my lips

I yearn for meaning
For purpose

I yearn for something
Anything

I do not know

I yearn to be free
Unshackled

I yearn to be full
Satisfied

I yearn for all these things
And yet...

I do not know.
The North Star Nov 2014
I used to be sad
you gave me joy

I used to be fickle
you made me firm

I used to be scared
you made me brave

I used to be shy
you made me sing

I once was invisible
Now you see me

I never thought I could change
Until you met me.

— The End —