It is what it is, but it's not and it hasn't.

"I like you"
"I like you too..."

But timing *****...

I loved you with all my heart
Wrote your name across the stars
I longed and yearned
I gave but never recieved

I broke with no reprieve
All I asked was your voice
All I got was silence

Besides, who am I
To deserve you
Who are you, to deserve me

We're like planets in orbit
Destined to pass each other

Taunted...
Far...

Time is a wonderful thing
Fluid and free like a playground swing
We look back, fond
Look forward with hope

Time
It is an elusive thing
Quick and fast
It runs out

It can't be bought
It can't be caught

Time
A master
God
Endless
Limited

A

Laugh, a laugh so sweet
Evocative, feelings inescapable
Invigorative, dormant come alive
Gloom. I feel it everytime you leave.
How can it be, how can it actually be, that

you exist.

For many, love is something that comes easy.
And for a rare few. It appears to never come.
Resolve and disillusionment sets in.
Zeallessness towards any idea of sharing life.
And then,  you came into my life.
And all change right in front of me.
Nothing seemed to matter anymore.
And nothing will. Not without you.

Afire with passions bright,
My heart flutters with delight.
The flames of love burning strong,
A never ending song.

A yearning to be free,
An unstoppable need to be me.
The heat of a desire so deep,
A burning in my heart I can't keep.

The flames of passion rising high,
The need to be loved, to never die.
A longing for something so real,
A longing that I can't conceal.

My heart ablaze with love divine,
A longing for a life sublime.
A passion that will never die,
A love that will never die.

It actually has been a long time since I've been here.
Sitting down, putting pen to paper.

So much has gone on and happened. A couple of months and perhaps years have gone by since I've opened my mind to this avenue.

We've been through a fair bit you and I. We've seen, heard and experienced so much in such little time.

I know it's clichéd and lame, trying to make sure it all rhymes...
stays the same...

I guess it's finally clicked in that this season is over, my skill has fade-d a bit, my knack for writing has reached its end. I guess I'm at my last wits end - trying to make sure words fit.

But in all seriousness, for all intents and purposes I suppose I'll start...

with the real reason why I'm actually here. I guess it's in the silence that all this happens, where it all begins. It was in the silence that I first met you. A season it was where it was just the two of us - mostly one-sided, I spoke - you listened. For the most part I only sought you out in times of trouble, for the most part...

when i needed someone to talk to...

I was selfish then - I'm not so much anymore

You talk a lot - you always have I guess. You're much more wiser between the two of us. I suppose you do have years and years more to offer than I do, but nevertheless I forget this fact more times than I care to admit.

You have been my rock, my shelter, my comfort and my Shepard - like a lamb I have followed you (without even knowing it for the better portion of my life) like a puppy I have loved you - like a child I have forgotten you

But I have found you again. You have always been here, waiting for me while I went my own way. You have always loved me while I loved others and sought love elsewhere. You have always considered me while I forgot you and placed you in the attic of my mind.

But here we are, walking together again - the dust blown off, eyes set, the path straight

It seems so much simpler now doesn't it - my days are brighter, the lurking shadows around me have dissipated and I can finally breath deeper

deeper and deeper as I walk with you

And on their bellies
They will crawl
To the depths
To seek light

The dirt
Will suffice
To be cleansed
In the end

As it is above so it is below
As the light shines in the heavens
The depths seek it too

All that is within me
Is around me

All that surrounds me
Is within me

I am, a product of what I see
What I see, is a product of who I am

It's a sad reality when I realise that you won't live forever.
you're slow to the pace.
No longer can I see through the wrinkles on your face.
you linger
stutter, longer than you should.
I never expected for it to come so soon.
too much to do - things I never could
do on my own, without you - now, the only hope is that I could
Ignore the heartache and gloom
and accept things for what they are - and soon will be.
that one day you will part from me.
It's a sad reality that one day you won't live forever.

The best people come unexpectedly
They may hurt you at first
But solid foundations sometimes require a breaking of solid ground...
..first.

Second...
The butterflies.
The realisation that your heart
Once hardened - is being smoothed down. Melting.

Third...
The promise.
It's a pact made with self. You're never going to leave their side again.

Fourth...
You have them and they are yours. But you'll never stop pursing them.

That's why they are special.
Surpassing what is common. Exceptional.

One day I'll tell my kids about you
I'll tell them of a girl
A girl that came into my life
Unexpected and sudden

Unassuming. You lingered in my life
It took too long for me to discover you
To really see you
See how rare you really were

Too long...

But when I realised.
The time spent.
It wasn't enough.

Not nearly enough.

Your smile.
Your calm.
Your beauty.

I only wish you'd be in the other room during this story.

But reality is, you won't.

Sometimes...

It's just best.

To walk away.


It'll hurt though. Unbearably so.

Sometimes what is bright
casts long shadows.

I'm too busy chasing a dream
To realise what should be seen

Right in front of my very eyes
Comes with no surprise

Something familiar
Something sweet

Engraved in my memory our encounter
The first time we meet

Never again will I feel like this
Ever and always will I feel like this

Don't lie to me
you're not helping anyone
this isn't the person you're supposed to be
what am I to believe while you lead me on - am I the first one?

Cease your aimless performances
Clear-out this alluring façade

Don't leave me a shell of what once was
I beg of you, don't let this chance pass by
cross your heart
hope to die

I was just about to tell you
but I was too late
left my heart out in the open
now it's all **crushed

The silence of the night,
so deep and so profound,
has hidden the troubled thoughts
that have been spinning around.

The quiet of the night,
so still and so bleak,
has shrouded all the fears
that have made my heart weak.

The darkness of the night,
so dark and so cold,
has kept my troubled thoughts
from becoming too bold.

The stillness of the night,
so hushed and so clear,
has silenced my worries
and taken away my fear.

The secrets of the night,
so dark and so deep,
have kept my troubled thoughts
in an eternal sleep.

Sometimes I wonder about myself
The depths
The vastness of knowledge
The avoidance of knowing too much
Pain
The scars and sinews established

And sometimes I wonder
How sure
How sure the understanding
Of my decisions might be

How sure, the depths

Of ruin.

The inevitable ruin.

And it is in the depths
The crevices
In the shadows, the chasms

I find myself
And I do not truly
Want to be there again

What is doubt? Doth it bring joy or despair?
Is it a comfort or a source of fear?
A source of strength or way of despair?

Doubt can take away our hope and dreams.
Like a cloud of fog, it slowly creeps.
No matter how hard we try it never leaves.

Doubt can make us feel so small
It can make us second guess it all
And leave us standing there so tall.

Doubt can be a prison of our own.
We can never truly feel the joys of home.
It can be a mountain that’s hard to climb

But doubt can also be a source of strength.
It can help us make decisions at length
And help us find our way at length.

So doubt can be both a comfort and a fear
But if we use it wisely, it can be of cheer
For it can help us find our way so clear.

I just want to
Sit outside
smell the earth
emanating
Life

I just want to feel the rain
Coursing
Through my pores

I just want to hear the earth
breathe
Listen to it's musings

I just want to be enraptured
Completely free
enthralled

I just want to live
Without plan
Agenda
Schedule

I want to just be
Exist

Without the hope and expectation to validate my existence

The deer walked quietly into the church
Gold and white sheets and royal tune enveloped the hall
Pitter patter in silence
A warm huff, juxtaposing the cold air
Its pure eyes surveyed its surrounds

This was familiar
Importance fell upon the Deer

An ode to Himself, it thought

He'd been here before, he'd experienced the love

That once was

The worship

That once was

And like an abandoned city,
Nature had returned

Upon ye own mighty work,
Despair fell upon the Deer.

Please.

Catch me when I fall. Break my fall, because.

I promise, I won't bloom.

I ...
Wholeheartedly...
Would ...
Give...

You
The
World

But... I'm maxed out and in debted to the God that blessed me with you...

God gave me a face,
But it was not pretty.
God gave me eyes,
But they only see bad.

God gave me a mouth,
Though wisdom doesnt flow through.
God gave me a brain,
but it wasnt smart.

God gave me a body
That doesnt flatter.
God gave me money,
But it wasnt enough.

God gave me some one to love,
But it was not true.

And then God had some mercy,
And then...God gave me you.

Happiness is an inside job
Or so I've heard
It's so easy to get swept away with the surrounds
Like a leaf in autumn

It's an inside job because
The surrounds are broken
Better keep ourselves wrapped
Else we'll get cut

Happiness is an inside job
But it doesn't hurt to outsource it either
Happiness is an inside job
But sometimes it may come freely, externally
And who am I to say no.

I don't pay attention to the
World ending
It has ended for me
Many times
And began again in the morning

I don't pay attention because I'm me
Fallen beneath the cracks
A forgotten pile of flesh and bones
Neither bad or very good
Person
Being
Entity
Bad things have happened, more
Less good, more bad more bad
I'm so filled with darkness
I'm lacking full introspection
If the world split I'd fall in between

It's who I am, dark and devoid in a world
That's not my own, full of optimistic aspired light.

If I dug a single seed into the ground
I hope it grows, grows...

In a year or two, if you're around
you'll see a rose, rose...

Can you hear me
dropping the pin
Can you see
my chagrin

I won't force this
dismiss my provocative nature

Pretend you didn't see
Pretend you couldn't hear

I'm lost

Flinging ideas and notions
Trying to find a way...
To cope with the commotion, inside...
my head

Threatening to tear...the fabric, keep away
It's not safe
For you...nor me
Ignore me...I'll rant about and about
Without a doubt

Perhaps in a little while
I'll find my way.

Thinking, breathing,
heart beating still
observing a feeling of
decay, a bitter pill
     to swallow...

hurting and healing
irrevocable time to fill
grieving, left wanting
     biding time...
    infallible time

In loving memory,
You...
Gone and forgotten.

Le vie della vita, tortuose e spinose,
Ogni scelta ci porta alla luce o all’ombra.
Alcune vie portano a fortuna radiosa,
Altre si perdono nella nebbia nascosta.

Il successo brilla come stella lontana,
Ma, avvicinandoci, si dissolve il bagliore.
Il fallimento segna con traccia profonda,
Ogni caduta ci guida con cuore.

Tra pioggia e sole camminiamo con grazia,
Perdite e guadagni ci insegnano il sentiero.
Ogni scelta è rischio e speranza sincera,
Attraverso ogni svolta, la nostra strada intera.

Perché il vero valore della vita, in fine,
Sta nei passi fatti e nel senso che ci affina.

It's been a while
I'd almost forgotten about you

Surmise to say I was succinctly shocked

...to the core, to see how far and deep I have come

From the depths of a dark place, I have found a light. My light,
This light has grasped me, grasped me tight - tight in His mighty bossom.

It's a weird feeling, an acceptance of helplessness outside of your will.

Two thousand odd years and you still remain, such reverence and still you choose to chase after me.

Well, I'm done running...

I was for a long time.  How peaceful it is now.

To cross, my legs and sit in comfort.

At your feet.

It's in the silence.
The gestures.
The eyes. The crinkle of a smile.
The tempered breath.

It's in the silence.
Where love gives birth.

It's easiest in the silence.
Raw and pure.

It's not really a poem
I thought I'd write
nonetheless

I prefer to wallow
in my own world of silence
and yet... I'm forced to interact

I share my thoughts, learn through my experiences
all the while
writing on a shabby piece of paper

I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.
The most beautiful person
Like a seasoned rose, I know you've been through so much
...and yet
And yet...
You shine brighter, you attract so many
And yet...
When I look into your eyes, I see
A storm.

I'm so drawn in.
All I want is to rescue you, pull you away from your thoughts...

Anchored in your past.

If only...
You'd let me.

And yet..

You're still the most beautiful being. Everything blurs when I near you, everything pales.

I just wish, you could see yourself the way I see you.

All I have to give you is myself
For I cannot give you the Moon
Nor can I give you the Sun

As you..give me light

Imagine it; kids in the park full of whim and ecstasy
Happiness to the brim, "to be young wild and free"

I had a very pleasant dream the other day
I was young again, just careless, free to play
and it dawned on me, how far gone I was to those times
All I do now is stress about the hours ahead of me, the days past

When we are adults, we cannot forget can we? Our minds are never free to wander, free to cast out all the troubles and darkness that dampen our spirits.
Adulthood isn't quite what they said it would be
I remember being a kid, waiting to be free, free from control- free to make my own decisions

But life wants none of that does it? Curve-***** keep getting thrown at us, hurdles upon hurdles upon hurdles, I just cannot keep up. I cannot fathom the amount of times I've fallen and pondered just staying down, down on the filth of despair, the dirt of down-trodden, the earth that is our sorrows,

But I just can't.

The same dream rewinds and plays on in my head. Jungle gyms, jumping castles and swings, this is the stuff of Kings.
It's this dream that keeps us going I guess
Otherwise why put up with all this stress

To accept life as it is, to play around and be free
To laud the grace of childhood and whimsy.

Je veux courir vers toi
Mais comme je m'approche,

tu disparais

ta voix est un rêve
une berceuse

J'ai envie de tomber en toi
J'ai hâte de t'entendre, d'être avec toi, de partager la vie avec toi


J'espère qu'on se retrouve
quand le temps viendra

if you believe you are limited
your thoughts flow from that belief

i wish it were so, uncomplicated
simple
every night and waking minute my mind plagues me
unlimited

an insatiable, unlimited influx of thoughts and emotions
flood, and flood
every day and every night
every night i drown in my own
euphoria and depression

i desire release
i desire capture too

i dont know what i want anymore, i dont think i ever have

i wish my thoughts were limited
i wish i was limited

One day I decided
To make a choice
Every single day
And
Every single I day,
I hear your voice
The choice is easier

By chance, our lives have collided
And ever since, I stay
Awestruck and humbled
And excited.

That you're here.
With me.

I just want to hold
...literally everything
Your attention
Hand
Face
Waist

I just want to feel you against me
Know you're here
Present
In the moment

I just want to share
Air
Space
Laughs
Kisses
Hugs
Time

With you.

I just want to walk
Talk
Be

With you.

I just want all these things.
And more

I just want you.