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Noone May 2018
Why is moving on so hard?
A day, A week, A month
And again I go back to the start
I promise I don' t love you anymore
I promise I don't hate you anymore
I promise I don't feel a thing anymore
But again, Why is moving on so hard?
Noone May 2018
There are certain things in life you wish you could change
Some things you did you wish you could undo
Some things you said you wish you could unsay
Some things you felt you wish you could unfeel
You wish you had a Ctrl+Z button in your life
To change the things back to what it was
Noone May 2018
I saw her posting pictures of you two together today,
I don't know what happened to me after that
I could feel it, in my stomach, in my chest
I don't know what it was
Was it jealousy? Was it rage?

A series of questions are torturing my brain now
Why her? Why not me?
Am I not pretty than her?
Am I not beautiful than her?
Am I not girl enough?

I  surely don't know how to curl my lashes
I don't know how to fix my eyebrows
Can't walk on heels, Can't put on makeup
Never wore a skirt, never even an earring

But I know what makes you smile,
You like to get drunk on *****,
And sing Ed Shereen
You like to dance like crazy
You call it your "drunk dance"

Your eyes become wet when you yawn
And You don't like the freckles on your shoulder
You like pizza, But won't eat it
I don't wanna get fat you say

You have your way of kissing too
My style you call it,
when our tongues touch just for nanoseconds
And you pull yourself away

You like it when I give you a hickie
You'll check in the mirror if it is blue enough
You like running your fingers down my spine
"I love your curves", you tell me
"Your skin is so soft and you smell so pure"

You like sharing your toothbrush
You like hiding my clothes
You like closing your eyes and expecting me to kiss you
And when I don't , I can see the cute disappointment in your smile

You like chocolates 200%
You like gifts like a girl
Birthdays excite you like a child
And you can't watch a horror movie at night

Are these all phony?
The things you said to me, the things we did together
If so, you are quite an actor
And if I could, I would nominate you for an award
An award for the best teller of the untruths.....
That's what you are, a LIAR
Noone May 2018
Go on , tell your friends about me
Show them my pictures
Expose my secrets
Humiliate me,
Tell them you had me
Elaborate the details
Of how I looked without clothes
Of how easy it was for you
Of how desperate I was for love
But dont forget to mention your part of the story too
Of how you were a coward
Of how false your intentions were
Of how you got bored of me
Of how you lied to me
Of how you broke my broken heart
Noone May 2018
My eyes are so weary and tired
But sleep wont come to me
It seems like it has forgotten its way
Too many mindboggling thoughts
Thoughts exploding in my head
Why wont they just go away?
Why can't I just forget?
Why can't I just give up?
My mind is fed up trying to convince my heart
This stupid, stubborn heart
It is still beating in a hope
Hope that one day
He is going to come back
Come back to stay
But this heart is stupid, isn't it?
Wishing for the impossible
He left me but his thoughts still haunt my mind
They just don't leave me alone
Noone May 2018
I don't know if god really exists
I m starting to lose my faith now
For so long, I have been crying for help
But it seems like he has gone deaf

Maybe this is it for me,
I have reached my breaking point,
Should I use a blade or a rope?
Maybe the jump of death?

But no I want it easy way
I don't have the guts to do it
Maybe I should ask someone else?
To do me this favor?
Free me from this hell....
I m not suicidal. But sometimes, you feel like you have just had enough and you just want to disappear.
Noone May 2018
When I was a kid,
I always fancied the idea of love,
Saw my elder sisters go out on dates,
And overheard them talking on the phone..
Saw them smiling to themselves,
And  hiding their faces in the pillow..

I always wondered how it felt like to be in love,
The flowers, The chocolates
The gifts, The surprises
The cliched dates
The romantic candlelight
The kiss under the moon
The sweet love-making
Magical!!! I had imagined

But it turns out,
That love was not meant for me
For me,
Love is pain
Love is unworthiness
Love is your heart ripping off
Love is feeling that ache literally in your stomach and chest
Love is torment
Love is drowning in toxin
Love is wanting so bad to escape
Love is crying yourself to sleep
Love is sitting on the bathroom floor at 2 am and sobbing
Love is doubting your self- existence
Love is wanting to take your own life
Love is hell....
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