you killed me and I somehow blame the moon and the stars not you pain is universal there is no originality in heartbreak in death in trauma all I can do is blame the moon and the stars
I am not the same person tonight As I was this morning Time moves slowly for me The hours drag on A constant sense of boredom consumes me I watch the hours go by as I feel my white blood cells turned to red Don’t take this the wrong way For life does not bore me I’m curious Passionate I love and I hate I’m simply referring to the neutral state between human antics I’m referring to the constant void that is my consciousness I’m unfamiliar with the definition of contentment Satisfaction is a boredom induced daydream how could I ever expect to sustain a satisfaction when within the 24 hours of the day I am 24 different people
scared child was taught vulnerability is a weakness a disease she was taught to keep it all to herself for somebody everybody would be out to get her if she was weak now she is hard and cold which is weaker
people are often miss interpreted the phrase their is more than meets the eye is always too true but where does that silver lining cross of knowing somebody of knowing you
answers to the universe were all hidden inside of you they ran deep alongside your finger prints knowing this you'd coat your hands, your body in layers and layers of clothes enjoying the ascendancy you held on me all I've ever wanted was answers but you never touched me you never touched anyone
you warned me so gracefully that you might be unpredictable and reckless but that only made me want you more you didn't know yet that I fed off destruction and chaos like a starved vulture maybe it was you who should've been warned
my life is in pause i've lived the same day for six months now I eat gray food in my gray house well trying to breath in gray air than i lay and stare stare and stare at blank walls only walls its so suffocating
each morning we'd sit and sit only sit and view the worlds first awakening men the sun would come crawling from behind our hills and buckets of light would be poured right above our head but I don't think we ever shielded our eyes we'd just sit and sit only sit we shared quite the routine you and I
I dont think im done writing about this boy quite yet
Death becomes the end of your earthly learning No more earthly thoughts to pain you The void is only like space, or the nothingness made of light In this moment you must abide in it In this moment you become ignorant to ego Ignorance is bliss.
Each night as I'm stuck in bed My eyes our sewed opened So I could relive all my sins I lay each one out on bulletin board In my mind Connecting each one to one another With simple red yarn Im trying to pinpoint the exact moment My life became filled with secret regrets Its suffocating me I want to speak up To tell some other living soul about All the bumps and bruises That is my life That is me But i cant So I lay with my dry eyes Unable to blink
*** was never vulnerable to me I krept into a small corner of myself Attempting to keep me safe While hundreds of your hands Groped every inch of what you thought was me So you could come undone
the sound of love swallowed the room my limbs become silk every step I was taking felt as if I was melting into this word taking its shape I've lost control I danced up and down the walls the room began to be silk
Pretty girls cry over other pretty girls Its a harsh routine To want what others have wanting it only because You don't have it Fixating on beauty Making it a mirage Please just look in a mirror and love what you see Is that so hard to ask for?
The windows shatters The walls caved in The floor boards burned The food rotted The water dried The furniture vanished All that was left was a door stuck in it's jamb And me The door and I left standing I made it easier for the door and kicked it in Now it's just me
he left you a song that you don't want to here you plug your ears and scream your eyes turn red while your heart turns blue his love for you is gone and all your left with is this stupid song
You do not speak you do not think you do not hear nor do you listen you are not yourself but a portrait of someone else you've grown up so you say I didn't know that growing up meant to be everything but yourself
and he was their wine red heart beating beating on the outside of his bear chest leaving himself open and raw and than their she was her heart wasn't dripping red she didn't even have a heart to begin with her smile was deadly to the boy standing across her eye to eye she reached over ripping the heart and wanting it for herself
She is like a melted rainbow every part of her was Vibrant and Loud when you opened her mouth red would come out as she closed her eyes to sleep her world became an orange beam when she woke the sky would be the most golden of yellows every step she took the grass would turn the greenest of greens her eyes held thousands blue constellations telling a story she smelled like purple rain and purple lavender she was the love that protected my muse
I played a song A song that took me back in time My carpet was warmed from the sun peaking threw my window My room began to be filled with vibrant purple light Nostalgia was intoxicating me I was in peace
I had a dream last night of you and I we were together Medicine Man and your Violent Blonde walked Earth making each dry leaf every crevices under our footsteps turn to flame Every step we took we were shifting into something Infinite we ran making the world behind spring off into colors of wild reds oceans of blue violent violets we jumped into the coolness of yellow we were creating a new world behind us we didn't look behind us we just left the new world to be
Everyone and I mean Everyone has Darkness hidden inside them Everyone is capable of doing nasty things I know i'm capable I wear my Darkness on my sleeve allowing it to swallow me whole allowing it to define who I am It wasn't until that Darkness turned my world into black tar binding me to nothing but destruction i'm destruction
I'm sitting down looking around my bleached white walls drinking black mediocre coffee trying to think about anything but you it works for awhile till the air smells like you you are surrounding me I indulge in you for a moment remembering the exact moment where I smelled your smell I take deep breaths exhaling and inhaling as if that can bring you back to me I've never knew what it was like to miss someone after heartbreak till now and I hate you for it
I'd like to believe when I die my earthly soul will sink into the soil of our world giving it life and colour feeding to all the good to all the right helping create someone else's story