my heads aching, because my minds racing , holes in ma socks because of the floor that am pacing worried about these Demonds  I’m soon to be facing
up at night in a cold sweat ,  heads a mess ****** up mindset ,  clenching my fists whilst gripping that tight chest and i feel like it’s hard to grasp a ****** breath

how have I let

it get so bad was it because of how I acted , always naughty for mum and dad , horrible to my mrs and kids treating em bad, or was it because I was failed by the care system as a young lad ? is that why i feel like I’m going crazy  , insane or mad uncontrollable thinking flash backs in ma  brain making me sad , thoughts racing, changing  fast just please go away , how long will they last I will never forget but I hope that they pass

I no I got to open up but I feel hopeless , I feel uncomfortably soulless , probably not 2 hard to notice  , I no I need to be strong and get focused but right now I’m  at my lowest point in my life literally feel like giving up this fight but I need to do what’s right  I made this step forward so I hope everyone was telling the truth I hope that they are-right ,  saying we will all help you be there for you , telling me it’ll be alright

Kuz av bin like

awake with no food for more than 10 days in a row trying to escape my mind but I have no where to go , there used to be days  when I felt amazing have a vibrant glow but snap straight back , to vexin , supper stressin , this is real life no messing struggling finding it hard to cope , hopelessly falling back down depressions *****

for my family , friends and loved ones I no it’s got to be hard the things iv done the things iv said  , they never leave my head and it pains me so much feeling mentally scarred, so many times iv tried to change but I feel to weak to do it alone

so today I’m ganna try open up , I feel scared and it feels hard , but I’m begging for help to start  focusing good , a new chapter in my life am closing the last ****** one up , a better partner a better dad a better all round happier  man

the end seems so far but I hope there is light , amma hold onto that to get me thu this fight , I just don’t feel as tho I can do it without help , I feel mentally drained, emotionally strained help me please get these demons out , and get them tamed .