Safety, oh how i embrace your presence
Keeping me guarded and secure
Shielded from insecurities, shielded from pain
Keeping evil at the other side of the fence

You were there for me always through this roller coaster
My appreciation for you goes without merit
Without you I would lose more than I would gain

At my worst, you did the fighting,
At my best you remained close
Your loyalty goes beyond what I can imagine
But every cloud has a silver lining

A friend I thought you were, but oh was I a fool
Blinded and confused, i was tricked by your comfort
Not seeing that your protection was in fact prison
Like chemotherapy what you are is a drastic cure
Not only fighting the bad, but instead killing it all

Constantly acquainted with emptiness and solitude
Never opening a door, you’ve always kept me in the hall
How could i have been so clueless and subdued
Putting unconditional trust in your methods

You say you’ve kept me from suffering
But you also kept me from the beauty the world was offering
As time went by you rendered me careless
Staying in endless wander, never listening to my heart’s call
Robbing me while making me think you were cleaning the mess
Making emptiness my new reality, you’ve kept me behind a wall
I’ve realized that you were nothing but a hypocrite

You’ve not protected me from love but instead kept me away from it
Keeping me numb from the beauty of sacred bond
Oh safety, you’re driving me down a purposeless road

To feeling’s knock you kept me unable to respond
Thanks to my foolishness you now control the car
You’re a liar, a deceiver, only hurt you have bestowed
So you may have won the battle,  but I will win this war

Trust, is it all that is needed?
To others I was lost or far away,
While really I was focused
Focused on a quest to comprehend this journey

Oh this journey
This bittersweet adventure
As beautiful as a violin’s chord
But as sharp as a double edged sword

Confident I entered the boat
Riding down this endless river of diverging scenery
Constantly trying to find explanation
Never capturing a clear picture

Always changing direction
Melodic waves endlessly heaving
A sleepless dog never finding position
Interweaving boundaries of peace and havoc

How long would it last?
Confusion was all that reigned
Infinite conjectures of a pleading mind
Is this a movie void of a cast?

Persisting through this river
Though the scenery now mundane
Only one thought has remained
Why dont you jump?

Could it be fear?
What if taking the leap was all it took?
All needed to decipher this puzzle
Why sail with no destination?

It truly would be too easy
Risking it all without a bust
Either acid or water
Love, one simply cannot trust

Frozen, frozen i stood in space
Embarking on a  journey unprepared
With a heart quickly changing pace
How could this be?

How was I rendered impaired?
Questions, a million questions ran through my head
Trapped in plethora of thoughts with nowhere to flee
They say before you die your life flashes before your eyes
But I was well alive and no blood was being shed
Instead it ran through my veins like an unchained greyhound
Racing an endless track trying to catch a prize
How could this be?

Is this a dream? Am I in bed?
To which reality am I bound?
Silence, silence was all that prevailed
Like an operation room with a surgeon about to incise
Immobile exteriorly, erupting interiorly
With a flood of emotions my body was assailed
Warm and cold, fast and slow, ennemies and allies
How could this be?

Could a drug have hindered my movements?
Is this all a hallucination?
What substance could cause such a rush?
What dream could cause such palpation?
So there i was, filled with thoughts to amaze
Confused, uncertain, my body leading me astray
Ready to quit, with a stomach light as hay
There could only be one explanation
Frozen, frozen I was, by her gaze...

Unfair, biased, wrong from the start
Breaking the foundation before it falls apart
Written in this book of rules and regulations
Is only a system meant for you to fail

Like an ever shifting labyrinth, no way is right
No step is secure on a floor thin as ice
When walking on a string, there is no good side
You can go nowhere swimming against the tide

Show me the way, give me the map
I’ll beat every obstacle, break every wall
Filling the road are landmines and ***** traps
The bottom of the pit is always where you’ll fall

There must be a way, where is the loophole?
There is no such thing as perfection
One cannot escape when all the gaps have been filled
An ever changing maze, I cannot control

Why is it so hard? Why is it this way?
Why run me in patterns like a hand woven quilt?
No words can explain, not much can be said
One cannot break obstacles another has built

A bit of help is enough, a hint is all I need
After all, hard work always pays its dues
Show me where to start and i’ll get to the prize
But a sheep can’t be a bird no matter how hard it tries

A map is what you want to see
A loophole, what you hope to find#
A hint is all you say you need
But a step you can never take

I’m a blind judge in whose courtroom you’ll always fail
A maze in which there is no exit
A world of confusion void of justice
Because unfair, biased, and wrong she rendered my scale.