She uses the F-word to
Emphasize the L-word

When pausing from her
Whatever to text me,

And I pause from my
Whatever to focus on

Grander aspects of the
Whateveryday. How puzzled it

Makes a young man to cross
Paths with a young woman and

Find vacuum the same shape
As his own calling out for

Substance. I give up some other
Whatever, like someone opening

A door that refuses to
Stay shut; welcoming

The rain inside. Whatever. *It's
All wet now, anyway.

Once I offered you my heart, knowing it was too bruised, too ugly to meld with your imperfect soul. You looked at it with eyes that spoke of dark horizons less travelled and handed it back with trembling caution, too mindful of the searing pain caused by it's many shards. I loved you then, as I do now, though the mention of such things is forbidden within our tight circle of two. I fear your loss as I fear myself, fully and without caution, though now only your traces remain as friendship flounders upon the utterances of my foolish mouth.

That itch you find
So annoying

Is that of a wound
Closing.

Learn to be grateful
For any tissue

Keeping the red stuff
On the inside.

your parents were right
when they said not to make friends online
because it's dangerous.

don't make friends online
because while your almost-brother
can't sleep for the 159th night in a row
your arm can't reach across half the country
to grab the sleeping pills out of his hand.

you won't even have money to fly to the funeral.

and you'll blame yourself
for the rest of your ******* life
for not being awake with him.

don't make friends online
because your life turns into numbers:
$642 for a plane ticket,
4 states away,
20 hours behind the wheel.

don't make friends online
because you'll fall in love with her
and you'll never touch her.

don't make friends online
because when she has a panic attack,
california is hours away
and you can't bring her tea
and count 1-2-3 to help her breathe
and hold her while she cries.

don't make friends online
because you'll constantly live in fear
that it'll happen again, but on purpose this time,
that she'll give up on life
and you'll have two souls pulling on your shoulders
and you'll cry yourself to sleep
with the same mantra pounding at your skull
i should have been there

so listen up kids
it's dangerous