How kind life can be
when she cradles me
as peacefully,
night falls.

You will never find another me.
And I will never find another you.

But for a moment in time,
We found each other.

And I suppose,
That is enough for me.

Show up,
Believe,
Proceed...

I tried to contort
To fit your shape
And now my spirit
Is knotted and bound

Still and stuck, I am
Full
Of life–
Unlived.

I take a deep breath
Creating space
To begin releasing
The knots I once made.

As time fades
the light of omnipotence
into dull hues of frailty

I turn to God, instead.
He will make it all okay.

As my mother did
When, as a child
I crawled into her arms
And all my troubles went away.

I miss him
Even though
He is long gone.

Once the summer passes,
It’s really gone.

Never to return
In that particular, summer flavor.

So sweetly savored—
Or perhaps eagerly consumed,
Without a moment to enjoy...

Tides have come to rise and fall
over familiar sands

Many suns and moons
have shone upon shores

Children have laughed,
Mothers have rested.

Ice cream has melted
Down sticky hands.

Hot, starry skies
Have nurtured romance...
and reflected love
in innocent eyes

Life has bloomed
And as it appears-
And nothing has died.

But when summer passes,
It’s really gone.

Like the tide, the moon and the sun
Again to rise
In its rightful time...

She leaves,
And he stays.
She takes,
And he gives.
She strikes,
And he endures...

All the while seeing
Her loving,
Tender ways
Despite this - temporary -
darkness.

let's be children again
and roam the streets
on hot summer days
with nothing to complete

Once I achieved
All I ever wanted,

My full hands
Longed for the space
They held before.

It was full
Of opportunity.

Marvelous splendor
The eyes delight
God’s thumbprint upon
This magical sight

She wears herself
And nothing more
Standing true
In her natural form

Beauty is,
Not symmetry
Beauty is
Simply to be

God made you, you
And nothing more
So wear it proud
And wear it strong

There is only one you
On the face of this earth
And someone out there
Can see all your worth

Without you changing
A single thing -
Your beauty is in
Your true being

So let your light
Shine through today
So God can delight
In what he has made.

Silent streets beckon,
Wide and empty, like an open hand
A gentle pull back to before

When summer heat
Danced from the streets
Melting time like Dali’s clock
As the night sky poured out her stars
Into our eager and open eyes

When opportunity rushed in
On autumn leaves
Sweeping out the old
In a blue sky breeze

And curtains burst open
On a crisp winter's morning,
Revealing a portrait of white
In a wide and timeless sky

When alone
Was just a seed,
A fantasy of youth,
Yet to reveal
Its perfect purple pedals,
Only to the moon

And racing feet
Kissed the dew
On tender springs buds
Bursting with life.

How gentle a time,
It was to be young,
When all four seasons were ahead.

Gray pours over everything
Covering life with dust.

Of which I was made,
And which I will return.

On a dirt road
I saw a man dancing

Stomping
Clouds of dust
Surrounding him
In an aura of earth

Like the moon
Dusted across the night sea
Something in him
Was magic

And so I stopped to say hello
While he kept dancing
I paused and watched
The novel parade
Of paradise prancing
Before my eyes

In a glimpse he was gone
Vanished before me
I watched the soot settle
And bowing down
I touched the earth
To feel if it was real

In my memory
That man dances on
Behind the cloud of beige
I watch him move in mystery

Wondering
When he will stop
So I can see
The spark of his splendor
Just a bit more clearly

The sweet thing about the end
Is that it necessitates surrender
And builds humility.

Even in the final hour,
Truth will always triumph.

Faith is not the absence of doubt.
Faith is having doubt, and not believing it.

May I walk in the light, today.

I know you’re holding back a little
But I don’t think I will.

Because that's not who I am
And I'd rather lose you
Than lose myself to you
By holding my breath.

Although I stand
Alive and alone,
With my words and my breath
Outside of me

It creates a space
for God to fill.

Let me stand outside in the rain
With my mouth wide open.

I awake
To the gray of dawn
And listen to the hymn
Of the train and the winds

And watch the gray become blue
As, in the east,
The sun lifts
Its heavy weight
Over the horizon

And subtle pink hues
Dance wildly through
Tender morning skies
And clouds fill the space
Where heaven resides

From my home,
I watch another morning
Bloom with life
And become part
Of another day, again

I used to love,
You know.
It broke my heart
Like the New Orleans dam.

Somehow, it got too full
This heart of mine.

And out, it started pouring.

Out it goes, still.
This love in my heart.

Back, we descend.
Into the sea.

I was never yours
To put me down
So don’t try to put me down, now.

When I was never yours to start.

I was always too much for you.
And you couldn’t lift me up to start,

So don’t try to put me down now
When I’m already down and out.

Some things are so pure
That you know God made them.

Like paper, crisp and new
And a winter's night,
Observed, warmly from inside.

Something about snow and paper,
And simple things, as such
That say so little,
And offer so much.

And on this paper, I’d like to say
That I am here today,
and I don’t have much to write,
But whatever I can offer, I give to you,
It isn't much, aside from the truth
That life resides within this flesh.

It woke me this morning, with it’s own will.

And it speaks its own words here
Commanding my body to obey and covey
What it has to say,
Which again – isn’t much
Aside from the truth, that I lived today
That on a crisp autumn morning,
With winter nearby.

And I can imagine and feel, what’s behind and ahead
And the white of night
In soft winter glow –
It eases my soul.

There are things in this life that I love,
They are mostly simple and pure
Impermanent as snow
And as blank as paper.

I see myself there.

Life, write your words over me.
For soon I will fade like snow

Into something new
And although I don’t know where I will go,
But I don’t much mind.

As long as I leave some good words behind
And melt into something life-giving.

So simple a story
And so magnificent

how your existence
And my being
Lay together
As evening dim
Sweeps across us

Sometimes
The most simple things
Are the most aweing
And you, Ahmed
Make me wonder

With calloused feet and open eyes and a blazing heart
I run through high grass, unforged before
And I wipe my own tears from my face.

And I dance with Christ
beside rushing rivers.

And I breathe life in
And I want to be seen.

And I try so hard to trust in God.
And I kneel before him.
And I weep as I write.

And I am humbled by life,
and all of my losses.

And I Rise.

The soles of my feet were not born strong
Obedience and grace built them that way.

And if I had one thing to do with my life.
I would continue to give it all away.

God made me my mothers daughter
And I hold her fear in my heart.
But I hold her love, too.

And her fear I handle with honest, shaking hands
– cautiously and gently…

But with her love -
I let it roar like wildfire.

I am ready to rip the white off these walls.
I am ready to destroy them.

Only to notice,
In that courageous moment...
That one of the four is missing.

The sky is heavy,
with moon to-night.
Pregnant with moon,
To-night.

Soon, tomorrow will come --

A fresh new day,
Full of Light
and Life.

Blessings wash over me.
I am the center of the fountain.

Renewing waters
–Cleansing.

Feeling–
More than whole.

I have.
More than enough.
To offer this world.

A child runs –
Down an eternal summer street
Trying to catch a butterfly
That flies above her reach...

Lord, release my heart
From this cage it’s in

I need to breath
Fresh air

I am full of fire
And resentment

Encased and surrounded by the past
Which has become my present
And my future

Unable to change him,
Loving and tender.

He cares for himself
Foremost
And I, foremost for him.

Will there always be something to stomp over?
Will there ever be more than a glimpse of time when this agitated soul of mine -
can settle and rest and in ease?
Will this being, of me, always be looking for more..
Or trying to escape?

Why can’t I be more like my grandma -
Simple and humble
Enduring and strong
Gentle and caring
Quick to forgive...

Why must I cling so tightly to my pain,
As though without it i would be lost
How can I learn to just put it down and rest -
Forgive…

When i am angry enough
To tear down the walls around me
And become a beast
Capable of destruction

While all the while
I just want to stop
And smile…

But i can’t
Not truly.
This smile is flat.
A weak attempt to endure, like Nanoo
And forgive.

But it is beyond my capacity,
And I need space-

So i do not destroy
Everything around me.

How much pain i have endured already
Waiting and clinging
To something wild, untame
Lashing me forward and back
Without rest or pause
I am exhausted
And still attempting to hold on
And tame this beast-

And at the same time,
I am ready to match him.
To let go, and face him head on
A bull fight.

For although I am tired,
I have grown strong from all of this holding
Back and fourth -
Up and down.

A moment of rest -
Then jolted awake...
I’ve grown agile,
And quick on my feet.

But how much longer can I endure?
I am tired.
And angry..
And stuck...
Between letting go,
A sad surrender.
Or holding on
With the strong hope
That i can survive.

As I grow older,
And my muscles decay
Will I be able to hold on?
Or will I be thrown vigorously to the ground
After years of battle,
Tired and broken,
With nothing left to hold on to.

Why can’t i be more like my grandma?
Simple and humble..
Enduring and strong..

Day, break over me
Let your sunny-side yolk
Wash over me.

Draped across a bed
of sleepy green clovers
Wet with morning dew.

I begin again,
Anew.

Trees in the breeze
Sun on the skin
Love in the heart

Quiet contentment—
Filled with a subtle hunger
For what tomorrow will bring

Knowing, without thought
That everything will be ok.

Nothing wrong,
Nothing right.

But everything
Perfectly,
Peacefully
And quietly-
Okay
Today.

And full of pleasure
In what rests ahead.

If I were to paint this grief,
I would use the sky as my canvas,
And it wouldn’t be great enough

If I were to sculpt this shame,
I would shape a new universe,
still too small to contain.

And if I were to sing this pain,
It would rumble the earth
Rise the tides
And shake the sun out of the sky

If I were to write this regret,
I would use every word,
In every language,
But still, it would be incomplete.

Nothing can convey
the state I am in.

The best I can do is pray it
And say Lord, have mercy.
Only you know my pain and my sorrow,
Let your light shine upon me,
And make me new.

Only you know me.
Christ have mercy
On me, a sinner.