Monotone

Monotone Mar 2019

Once again, there you are.
Poking your head around the corner,
watching every move I make,
and using me as yet another experiment.
You pull the strings
in this wild, complex relationship,
and I cannot help but to wander
what would happen
were I to cut them.
Would I stand tall and alone,
no strings needed?
Or would I fall,
crumpling to the earth,
shattering my chances at life?
One day, Mr. Puppeteer,
I shall find the answer,
and your puppet will be puppet no more.

Monotone Mar 2019

Need, Want, Terror.

A swirl of need, want, and terror resides within me.
I need to connect,
I want to connect;
however, the connection inspires my innermost fears
to come slinking out of the dark
showing their faces
and grinning as I become
hopelessly afraid.
Unfortunately,
if this terror persists,
I fear that I may soon
come to an end.

Monotone Mar 2019

Utterly Alone

Without human contact,
without genuine human connection,
and without the ability to speak out,
I am simply isolated. Alone.

Monotone May 2018

Just a Coward.

I'm a ******* coward.
I should have said something, anything.
Instead I just sat here, took it, and tried to hold back tears.
You didn't know you did it.
Probably didn't know it hit me like that.
I should have said something,
but i'm just a coward.

Monotone May 2018

:')

I wasn't even aware I had these feelings for you until you decided you loved her. Guess it's too late now.

Monotone Apr 2018

asdfgh

I never knew I'd feel something worse than a stab in the back.
Something worse than being lied to when you already know the truth.
Something more wretched than watching your love die day by day.
Something so horrible, that I hid the pain.
No, you're right.
You didn't take a blade to my back
Instead, you set a fire to my soul and watched it go up in flames.
You destroyed my will to think for myself or love or hurt or enjoy.
You burnt the very thought of happiness to a crisp.
And left me to stumble through life, numb and betrayed.

Monotone Apr 2018

Forever Alone.

Forever Alone.
That's what they call it.
"A bad thing, no good!" they whisper,
However, it has a ring to it don't you think?
Perhaps I'll enjoy being forever alone.
Not a person to fight with like how Mom and Dad always did.
No Yelling, Screaming, Pinching, Biting.
Just me.
Me, myself and I.
Only my thoughts to make me cry.
I kind of like that phrase.
Forever Alone.