First off, Let's cast away "humility" it's the mask of the shy.
If you still your voice, you've already committed suicide.
I'd rather be punched by your foot than give an apology.
Apologizing for your opinion is the mark of weak minds.
Too strong minded individuals, definition of "God Complex"
Let's be truly smug, and brag about our faults and short comings.
Don't turtles dream of flying and humans dream of being us?
You're better than me? I am better than you?
You spend your days comparing apples to oranges.
You said your favorite number was "infinite Zero"
You said your favorite band was watching the sun rise.
You're the moon that out shined the sun.
Your biggest fault is that you think you've lived life.
Your only redeeming quality is that you've lived life.

I sleep during the day between the nights I feel alive.
The same mundanely chaotic dream...
We're holding hands and whispering sweet nothings.
fast forward, we're racing across old country roads.
You're inviting me to breakfast, and i am racing across the town.
Only to show up and make a complete *** out of myself.
My body becomes a healing flame, when we walk your hand in mine.
Of my life i can't say that I remember all that much.
But what i know is i wasn't truly alive till i knew "what is love"
When i made you smile, i felt the entire world fall away.
it was then, i was reborn with 5 whole new senses.
All the grays i stared at turned beautiful vibrant hues.
Your meals were a work of art, Fireworks exploding in my mouth.
You brushed my hand, and i felt poetry radiating through my flesh.
it wasn't till i looked into your opalescent eyes,
that was when i saw the world in all its unfathomable beauty.
I know i am nothing to you now, but if you see this i want you to know...

Thank you :)

Behind two obsidian pools of vast nothingness.
Staring at sky behind broken street lights.
Back against the ground, head in the clouds.
Water stained cigarette truly bobbing about.

"I would like to say my life is built on lies, it's not"
Idolizing villains though i'll always be a "hero".
"Ashamed of honor, for I've never been without".
Grass-is-greener sort of things.

Saying words meaning nothing, transfixed with "I"
it's startes every sentence, and if i could i'd end with I.
Only opinion that matters is my own, mastery is a poem.
syncing lines with words and words weighing me down like stones.
Thoughts so sad they corrode my morals like acid.
sitting on my bed, it starts and i become homesick.
Pathetic as i once was and even more so, can you believe it?
still smiling and laughing at jokes never said, hoping to break even.
We're going out, it's all on me, except for the money and the driving.
your phone is probably blowing up from all the numbers you're dialing.
never not gonna do what we did last weekend, eh?
Slow jamming to oldies in a "Smoke that bud" kinda way.
Chain smoking for fun, and laugh at silent jokes.
planning our next unknown move, totally stoked.
A Queen is just a pawn with fancy moves, you say.
those weren't queens but it doesn't mean we're not kings, i say.
They were ordinary but we made them out to someone extra-ordinary.
Alright lets stop this nonsense, thinking about people who don't deserve it.
my emotions are swelling and empty, complicated i don't know how else to word it.

Some machines just leave the factory a bit broken.
We can hide it to our best abilities and compensate.

Can't sing? Learn to dance to the heartbeat of the night.
Can't be happy? Learn to make others smile, it'll come.

Like a chasm in the water, like a black rainbow.
Sometimes broke is beautiful.

I do hope sometime someone tells her she's beautiful, she is.
Adrenaline ****** with some a cute anxiety.  
When I read her words her face always says "duh".
She conveyed tone in words with no sound, amazing.
Her heart is skipping beats just keeping up with her feet.
She likes Doctor Who and Violent movies, and ****
I haven't heard her voice but I bet she talks almost as quick as me.
She made me blush when she said, "You're not an idiot".
She fell in love with a bat who thought herself a bird, and wonderful.
I never had a clue of how much she liked her some Blue too.
A silvery Dee block element with a penchant for sarcastic remarks.
I don't know I just find her quite lovely, and beguiling

Back with only memories of tomorrow.
the Personality that simply engulfs mine.
A hazel blaze that ate the small flame.
Tomorrow, you changed the entire world

burned down the sky, for the color of sunsets.
cynic turned something more facetious.
Pinwheel-heart only moves when you walk by.
simplistic melody of “ba-dump, Ba-dump”

fought for pacifism and won.
You and your crazy handful of nothings.
tore down the libraries to save the books.
Killed the dreamers to save the dreams

Dark Brown sunshine fell on your shoulders.
crescent moon sat under your nose.
and the stars twinkled across your face.
I only look to the sky to see you.

Build a life where tomorrow is not so far away.
where should we meet up? i know.
Lets meet at the edge of where you’ve been.
Lets meet at the edge of where you’re going

I write poetry because i am lazy.
Short stories are too long.
Screen Plays are too many people
Actually talking to people is too risky.
Journal-ing will get me no accolades.
Photography is just an app on a phone.
painting is an application on a canvas.
Acting would be fun without a stutter.
Songs are too loud, and singers are pretty.
Dancing would be nice if i had some rhythm.
I write poetry because it's fun and I like it...alot.

I found myself miles and miles away from home.
In a field of green
I saw a tree with blood red leaves.
In the midst of all the crowded emptiness
I stared at me.
I blinked hard and moved toward nowhere.
I tasted my breath and remembered my drive...

an unmatched savagery

I'm sorry
He said I'd never say
I've said it before
Just like I'll say it once more
For the reason I lost my way

What's beyond my control
Is beyond my control
I will not apologize for it
I'll say my piece about the sun and the stars
But you're the one who listens to it

I've never met another who twists what I say
In such a way to where I brag about my faults
Maybe the girl is all too aware of her weaknesses
Is it a fault to admit, accept, and embrace
Those things beyond her control?

Some things need not apologizing for

The poet took what he saw
And exposed it in a certain light
Opinions made, I bet this doesn't change a thing
Just affirmation about everything he previously thought

The light was beautiful
Cynical, and a sight some might say
A tad judgmental, a bit unforgiving
I'm sure the poet would never apologize
For contemplating something beyond his control


the first poem ever written about me, thought i'd share
*Also a response to "The Girl With Freckles"

Friday afternoon and there she stood. Her phone in one hand and my breathe in the other. She glowed and made me think creator had placed an angel on this earth for me, for at least today.
Her and me, we drove around for a little bit like two fools...maybe I was just the fool. I couldn't look at her for too long without her eye meeting mine and I'd blush (which is nice and new).

Her eyes looked as if I was staring into two explosions of brown inside green that had been stilled in time and placed here to bless any person who had the chance to hold that lovely gaze.

After walking around the river and talking for a few little hours, I know I meet someone who other men would write songs for. Her elegance made me wonder what sort of person could even think of harming her in any way.

You know, I could use all the fancy words and phrases now, but let me tell you this. When I was next to her just listening to her voice, smiling with her smile, or looking as her eyes lit up that edge of the bench...the only word tumbling through my head was "...wow".

It's a good thing she had to leave, if she hadn't I would have sat there on that bench with her for the rest of my life. We would have new presidents, empires would have risen and fall, the Avenger 2 would have come out and I would still be sitting there smiling and blushing every time she said my name.

How do you tell your friends, "Hey I'm having a panic attack"
I don't know they asked when I went and I just told them "Cigarette".
Sat by the river in the drizzle and had a nice long cry.
Screamed at the emptiness, "You made me this broken! For what?"
Nothing to throw so I threw my head back and sighed.
Looked at my phone and thought about the time...where'd it go?
I lost a dozen minutes and can't find my shoes.
Maybe I'm truly drunk on this sobriety, and ****** with self righteousness.
"Someone pick up their phone. I'm scared and alone!"
The drunk man stumbling by looks at me and hides his eyes.
Looking at that flowing water, just stopping the thoughts.

I went to jail once,
I learned a lonely kind of pain.
Staring at a wall, utterly helpless.
Got out and
fell asleep on my best friend's couch.
Spent the next day pretty Ok.

I don't remember that night,
the night 5 guys jumped me.
I don't know what I said.
No one told me why they did it.
I remember crying and smelling like blood.
I remember EMT's looking at me.
I was watching a different life from behind my eyes.

I spent that next day laying by the lake.
No phone and no ride home.
a black eye in place of memories.
Everything hurt,
Falling asleep in the back of that truck.

Next day, I woke up a little better.
I drove the six hours home.
Bought my own birthday cake.
Told my mom,
"I got too reckless at boxing practice".
I pray she believed me.

This was my lost weekend.

Still broken down and reeling.
I saw her in crowded room.
She made me nervous,
till I caught my breath.

Every love poem in the past year,
owe a special kind of thanks to her,
To the one of unmatched beauty.
Sultry eyed with a cute gleam of a smile.

She complimented me, then said I was "intimidating".
Honestly that honesty surprised me.
I am me, Mr. Nice-Guy finishing last.
being five nine and a half never inspired fear before.

Drunk at a party, I wouldn't hit on her.
So many people do that with their liquid courage.
That would be an insult to her.
So I did the hardest thing to do, Nothing.

This isn't poetry, this isn't a love story.
This is a tragedy that burns rather slowly.
Though as I wait, I hope that to be a lie.

I remember looking at a bewildering little flower.
Just off the sidewalk it gently danced in the breeze.
I stood totally engrossed in this strange little being.
God wanted me to see this, to bask in its bewitching allure.
I watched it for a few more minutes in serenity.
As I readied to leave, I look to make sure no one could see.
I kicked the flower from its home,
I watched as it danced one last melancholic tune.
Fluttering to the earth it truly looked as if it were dying.
It landed with a plump sort of umph.
I felt a tear trickled out and make its way down.
I stared at the corpse of the dancing plant.
The words that came out of my mouth were selfish.
"You touched my soul, If I let you touch another I'd die.
I ended you so those moments would be fleeting and mean so much more. "
After I said her eulogy I walked away,
Tears were shed but I never looked back.

I'm swearing through my teeth.
Screaming "I am the King"
To these ******* machines.
Going till my palms bleed.

I've had one?...two?...many nights of waking up not knowing.
closing my eyes and imagining god was dumbstruck staring.
fixating at the ceiling and all i can think to say "It all started last week...
standing on a cool dark step she said words directed to hurt aimed at me.
I just took it not saying a word not defending a thing, still trusting her.
All the things we were just slipped away and my vision she blurred.
Imagining she needed space, i left for a bit came back and told her i love her.
she did nothing it rolled off of her as if hadn't even said a thing.
this is the life i made, i gave my heart, she smiled and gave me nothing.
flashforward, and she does something wild, makes a mistake and plays the victim.
she did something wild, and i was too afraid to ask if she kissed him.
you're reading this and maybe you know who i am talking about.
chances are and reality is you don't know this person, i didn't even

The woman I marry is gonna be so ****** up.
She's going to want to take walks on the beach.
She'll drown my Cheerios in milk every day.
She'll watch all these Serial Killer Documentaries
She and I will will hold hands as we drift to sleep.
We'll be Sid and Nancy on Halloween, her and me.  
We'll have a pet turtle named Van Gogh.
I mean she is so ****** up...

Why else would she marry me.

Walked up the stairs and hanged my head.
Treated my bed like the gallows
and read a book about death.
Held my breath
and felt a song fill my chest.
Walking with the crowd to feel alone.
Walking ahead so they have someone to follow.
Silent steps, and a quiet regime.
The stars hidden in shadows chased away the day.

The non violent sadist, here i sit.
empty eyes and empty heart, here i sit.
broken dream and crumbling hope, here i sit.
bathed in the blood of a thousand stars, here i sit.

aggressively passive optimistic cynic, here i stand.
a smile in my pocket and a smirk at the ready, here i stand.
on the shattered remains of dreams achieved, here i stand.
arms open and songs being sung, here i stand.

I like writing poetry.
I can be vague and hide in hyperbole.
When I am honest as ******* won't know.
Getting **** off my chest.
Suffocating under this freedom.
It's like a plastic knife to my heart.
That was a simile,
The salad dish at the poetic dinner table.
Metaphors are fun like fries but just as filling.
**** this is weird...*Save Poem

I was running yesterday
Just threading the needle of pain with focus.
Each mouthful of the day dragged me forward.
Each day that swam by pulled me.
At the end I was living just step to step.
Everything hurt in such a magnificent way.
I smiled for the first time in a while.
and I looked over at the eyes.
I saw you standing there.
You watched me saunter on.
Then you ran with me.
I tried keeping up with you.
Then I watched you bound away.
I smiled again and laughed.
Yesterday I ran with a deer.

Take a picture and send it to me.
fake a smile, promise you'll fool me.
it's true what they say, tonight is the night.
we make good guys bad, turn wrongs into rights.
Tumbling in the darkness of regrets.

In the end aren't we all just stories?
posing in pictures, and saying "cheese"?
staying up late and wondering "What-if?"
falling asleep, knowing what Love is.
Telling lies to shadows in hushed words.

You know, i love things i can't control.
it's no fun, turning Yes's into Knows.
i chased the sun, followed the moon.
followed my heart, into a typhoon.
Smile, you make mine shine.

Angels they sing to me in my sleep.
i fill up the pelican's dreams.
the first time we touched, your skin was soft.
yesterday, thats how the clouds sat.
look up to the heavens to see me.

Close my eyes, i find my home again.
give me a paper, i have free reign.
i spill it all on this page for you.
just give me a moment or two.
another drag and i'm done.

I promise you i am lying.

She gave me goosebumps with a piece of a sentence.
I could dance just to the thought of being near her.
Her silence is more beautiful than any words.
I want to hold that gaze for any number of moments.

The flowers I bought her have gone and wilted away.
The flower she bloomed in my heart grows each day.
I want to say this is a crush and just write it away
But more than that I want that to not be so.

I dream of holding her hand, and the sound of her voice.
Saying her name makes me feel a sense of pulchritude.
The veil of whatever this is I want to tear down and press her lips to mine.

"Be brave to allow yourself hope"
What I think when she flutters across my mind.

Pacing pacing shifting left and right in a flurry.
Run to the bath to dry heave, which does nothing.
Lop it off and hide it away with a smirk.
Calmly walk up the steps and toward him.

We touch and the rush feels me but not us.  
You've been here before oh so many times.
Open up with a straight right to your face.
You dance away and hint at a smile.
You think that's all I've got.

This is our first go and I want to make you remember.
I eat fist after fist fear of the knockout lessens but doesn't go away.
Your fists don't hold the strength to maim.
Your heart holds a fear in it tightly, and then you hesitate.

My steps toward you leaves the fear in your heart and spreads to your face.
I saw lighting from one but not again,you realize this.
Three left hooks to my head I trade for one to your gut.
You know I mean to hurt and you slow down.
Not stopping but thinking just enough to **** your reflexes.

You found yourself in the corner and saw me smile.
You block the overhand left and squirm away.

The bell rings

I drop my hands and can't pick them up.
Completely exhausted, I find a nice little bliss.
I get out of the ring and just hope I helped you a little bit.
I am not the prodigy it is you with the speed and endurance.
Now show the world we're not people to mess with.

All day the idea danced in my head, Death could flow in like nothing. I could cease and in that maybe my head would stop hurting and my soul stop bleeding over my eyes. She ...HER, it doesn't seem fair that a young girl slipped into my heart and stomped out my fires as it they were nothing. She is cold and toyed with me as if I were a simile meant to be used and discarded. She wanted me to stay, and I would have. I wanted to be around her and let her **** everything about me that I thought I held dear. I wanted that, but I tried killing myself and other people intervened. My family traveled across the country and carried me home. I cried the entire way home. I bawled and screamed. HER, she hurts me still. I want to see her smile, and I know that she damages me. I want to say I am getting better each day that I am home, but its not true, each day I become number than the day before. I am shutting everything out and it is scaring me. The healthy things that used to bring me joy are becoming mundane activities.

I screamed at the moon and the stars the other night until my voice went, then I pounded my fists into the ground until I woke up face down. I am losing so much and I hate that I still love that girl. I would do anything for her. and because of that I am afraid I will not ever be whole again. I fell down this ****** rabbit hole called "love" and it left me battered and shattered. This isn't really a poem, But I wanted some people to know what I am going through even if you are only strangers on the internet. RIGHT now, this page is all I have. I love you for reading this far. and I am sorry this isn't a poem.

When you look up at the night sky imagine something for me.
Imagine that in a past life you were a star burning.
That billions of years ago you lived.
You lived and shined so bright you light up the night today.
Imagine you smiled long ago now you're smiling back.
I want you to imagine this so you can understand
why I don't need to look up to lose my breath.

We can't always make sense, so we write poetry.
Love can not feed small children, so we get jobs.
Starting fights won't change the world, so we vote.
We can't be kings forever, so we grow up.
Strength won't take the pain away, so we cry.
McDonald's isn't going to pay the bills, so we get degrees.
We can't hide forever, So we got married.

They told me to be subtle, so I left.
Drug my feet, stumbling down the street.
Raised a glass to the stars for a wonderful night.
Woke up drunk on the train tracks.
Walking east, chasing the only star in the sky.
Fell asleep in the comfort of a stranger's house.
Don't remember how, but left before they found me.
Woke up with the adventures of last night chasing me.
Crawled more than I walked, heading to a friends.
Rung the bell, fell asleep in the cold light of midday.
I took a rest, looked back and remembered nothing.

They used to tell me I wasn't native because I knew my dad.
They used to call me ****** because I did my homework.
They used to beat me up when they got bad haircuts.
They used call me ***** because my skin is brown.

I always thought this kind of stuff was pretty sad.
Like a joke with no punchline it just hung in the air.
When adulthood came they turned and forgot.
Now I play with Lego's to remember playing alone.
Just dancing along to the same old empty song.

Sometimes I just sit and wonder what you're doing.
Then I stop and go back to thinking about normal things.
Time to replace reality with some dope little beats.
Grasping for sanity far away in worlds ticking and tocking.
With a smile in my pocket and the sand still on my face.
Let me stand here looking **** with all my disappointments.
Deleting all the lies from my phone turned it into a clock.
Come on tell me something real so I can dream with a smile on this face.

I do not remember where we were.
I can not fathom why you said it.
I do not recall if I was crying.

But I do know that you were drunk.
And I know that these words shaped my life.
From the moments they left your lips
To this moment and beyond.

"Son, complaining only makes you look like a *****"

I never complain even when I can barely stand.
My tongue remains stilled.

Weakness is not something a man possesses.
The world has enough boys.

I'm going to show you monsters.
Demons, Men, and Beasts.
and where I stand at the in between.

The Age of Heroes and Miracles is done.
Raise your head and bring your own light to the dark.

Monthes spent screaming at the moon, cursing the sun for making it shine.
The Sun doesn't set every night,sometimes Darkness rises up and it takes the sky.
It was all pain in a hollowed out chest, Broken "Love" felt like a shattered limb.
It was a fight you walked into that no one thought you could win and you didn't.
Battered and bruised, you fell to the ground from the throne you built so high.
Black didn't become white, nor up into down, but you became the demon that is "weak".
You became the Byronic hero fighting the romantic villain, silly words and silly men.
Standing on the hills looking up to your home, this is how it will all end...

                                                            ...A­s the One-Winged (Former) King of The Sky

If I could make you smile, I'd be happy.
The world needs not one more sad beautiful face.
You bring a light that I should like to shine.
Give me your sad and I'll take it kindly.

Your loneliness I know what to do with it.
Fear nothing, this back of mine shall be your shield
I'll champion your hand for all the nights turn black.
Smoke couldn't even touch you on my watch.

This flower might be the world if you'd lower those walls.
I like that which makes me happy, So give me that smirk.
You don't show it because the Sun doesn't like being upstaged.
I'll chase that insecure ******* straight out a the sky for you.

Please don't stifled that beautifully gargantuan flame.
If you had to give "Elegance" a name I'd call it you.
Never wrong when you say that the time is "a second before the next"
You're good for only one thing; Simply Everything.

Look at me and you will not see a Hero.
Smile with me and the Devil I become.
My quieted anger,the smokeless flames.
My breathe is not ragged
My Fists shan't be righteous

But you'll remember me for the kindness.
That you so long ago mistook for my weakness.

Miss me? Mr. Smith

Passing notes across the country.
Sending each other silence just to care.
You're goofy as ****
I can't describe you in so many words.
What you are is my friend and I love ya for it.

(Let's stand outside of time as you tell me I'll be fine. )

Death has followed me home.
Standing just at the edge of my vision.
Walking near me but never with me.
Silently and subtly you've become my companion.

The fire in my soul has ceased giving you reign.
Cold has come over my entirety.
A stillness that makes me uneasy.
A black deeper than the night.

I can't feel my hands
I can't face the light.
I can't focus my eyes.
I can't seem to feel my breath.

So easy to let it slide away from me.
So simple to concede this war.
So elegant to become nothing again.
So amazing to fade away.







I won't do that though.  

There are people I want to see smile for at least a life time more.
There is a woman I love and I want to be near.
There is a man I want to break.
Selfishly I'll keep on moving.

I'll trudge on because there is still so much I've got to do.

"He was an all right kind of guy.
He said what was on his mind.
Often times it was simple hyperbole
But I understood him well enough.

He seemed to always be in love.
I am just not sure he understood it.
I loved him a lot and he loved me.
He could think of a million reason not to
but he also loved the misery in his life.
He often looked at it as an opportunity to be strong.
He once told me,
'Dad, God wants be to be the strongest thing on the planet'
He was happy a lot, but he seemed to truly shine when
He got to make another just as happy.
I love my son."
~My Dad.

Given to hours just two alone
I find my way far gone.
I visit a world of alone emptiness.
No comforts just lack of dis-

When I return,
I look at loved ones like strangers.
Forgetting names and myself.
I smile more but care less.

My life of thunder slides away.
In it cracks the sound of nothing.
No futures, no pain, and just those eyes.
They peer soft as fire and hard as time.

If Love is a crown, her smile a kingdom.

Away I've taken to the streets moving to the rhythm of my heart.
The sun sets and under the darkness I feel at home all alone.

Thump thump thump

Taking a drag from this bottle of wine and nothing sings like my fists.
weeping and roaring, look at that moon andswaying to the motion.

Thump thump

Now times running out and I want to hold your hand, I'd settle for a word.
My feet moved and I don't remember how but now we're on a bench looking at waves.

thump

One in the afternoon and I peel myself away from the staring match with my eyelids.
I hear one words and my day is made, She says "Tomorrow?"

Inside me lay only smoke and ash.
Hollow and full of ***** words.
The outside isn't as pretty.
A stumbling man reaching rock bottom.
It wasn't so gradual a fall as it is now.
I fell hard, but continued walking.
Trudging onward and downward.
Step over step conceding all your hope.
The bottom isn't black and dark,
it's full of hope,
people dreaming of going back up.
and people hoping this day is their last.
Here I am standing in a puddle of pride,
just knowing "I'm still alive"

Drunk driving in bumper cars
Singing sad songs worth singing.
Standing straight in a blurry world.
Making poetry in the snow with bare feet.
Wide awake turns to talking in your sleep.
Eyes turn to worn out streets.
I'm Bob Dylan with this broken cigarette.
Tomorrow morning is thunder with no regrets.

Wax lyrical about those other little *****?
With their heads full of arrogance.
With their hearts full of lies.
With their fists full of misplaced angst.
With their smirks full of "Told you So"

Who am I?

I've walked away from Omelas
They've tied the ******* albatross to my neck.

Laughter fills the air,
There They Sit with My ******* in the air.
Staring back through that looking glass.
"She hurt you and you meant nothing to her....AGAIN!"

Shouting in the mirror till I fix my tie and walk about.
Shouting out of the mirror until you fix your tie and sob.

You coward with your false pride.
Choosing words to hurt and smiling smugly.
It is not brave to try to fight who you call a friend.
It is not wise to divide the room with "you idiot".
Drunk minds quickly breed hardened fists.
I love you brother
but you can't pick a fight with some brawlers.
The night didn't call me last night
Her whisper fell silent and cold.

I am alone once more.

A lonely man gone mad in the space between thoughts.
Chasing a friend that only exists when I stop looking.
I want a friend, I want to speak my heart to a person.
Fingers can dance on the board of keys but I want a hug.

I find myself simultaneously imploding and exploding.
I look up at the vastly small universe and feel hugged.
I see more than I can never know, I see myself looking back.
Cars flash by, they don't see me I am invisible at 60mph.

The eyes of the nights aren't just black but fields of deep blue.
I look at the moon and imagine you're out there.
I pray I cross your mind every once in a while.
Just so I am not so pathetic for thinking of you every night.

I am alone just waiting on you

I went for a run along the highway.
I came upon a snake at the mile 2.
It looked at me, and nodded its head.
It didn't hiss or strike, simply looked.
Acknowledging an old friend, two of a kind.
And we parted ways, satisfied.

Words blur into pictures and sound fades.
(Can't you be sober for this?)
Heavy moved the air from the lungs.
Found my feet at the ends of my legs.
Movement seems a ways in time.
Hands turned into little ***** of death.
(Wait wait...you're not....him)
Bang Bang shouted the heart.
Heart beat like a phone book in a dryer.
Blackness took up the night and..
(Hey?! Who are you?)