Out of focus fuzzy figured dancers
dancing the step of life
spin and shift moving with the tides
and tho there was an effort to learn
I failed and bailed to find room 101
To the hustle and bustle of blurs and
white noise
'I bid a soundless farewell
and when you caught me glancing
a moment too long
I guess you should have known
I was never built for this world

They stuff cotton down your mouth
Because it’s the only thing that doesn't choke you
When they try to muffle your sounds out
But you scream with your eyes better than you
Ever did with words

It’s a sharp sound that hurts to look at
And you knew that contradictions were the best arguments
you said  “Arguments are the best way to show someone
How much you love them because
you are giving them your words
And that is the best thing to give.”  disagreement said “Or you could give em’
Some of your M&M;’s.”

They hung mosaics of your destruction on the walls and called it “Art”
So you punched a hole through your bathroom mirror and called it “Creation”
Spent the fourth day naming your shards “Zues” “Cordelia”. Saved the sharpest one
And called it “Helen”, said “Pain only ever hurts when its beautiful.” Disagreement said
“You’re a ****** up sadomasochistic *****”

On the fifth day you dreamt your father held you
Except it wasn't your father it was a ******* who found you
frozen to a street light
On the sixth day you called me and said: “I have a name for creation;
It’s destruction.”
On the seventh day they found you praying to the  images on a TV screen
Holding onto a mathematical calculation in your hand
Calling it the formula to happiness
The numbers spelled out




D   R  U  G  S

Sometimes I feel like I'm made of glass.
An easily shattered soul ready to break.
I still don't know how much I can take.
I wait for something to happen everyday in class.

I want to learn something.
I need to learn an important life lesson.
After winter I wait through the year as the grass goes cresson.
I think about all the time I spend on nothing.

As this goes on I'm very dull.
I become boring and zoned.
Everyone assumes I'm just calm and toned.
But really I am just feeling null.

I try to build my up my glass walls.
I try to be made of stone.
I want to sit on a nice throne.
Awaiting as it all falls.

I like wool socks.
I like breathing cold air--
the way it numbs in my throat.

I like watching cars drive endlessly,
staring across an avenue at tires and shades of paint, windows and blurred hubcaps. I like catching the brief moments in time when the streets are quiet.
I like empty bottles and barriers and running my finger through a candle flame.
I like trying to capture the brief moments in time
when the house is silent.

I find myself
magnetized
attracted to your every move.

I know it's kind of crazy
but I wonder about our hands sometimes,
and how they can fit so perfectly together,
and whether the fleeting happiness
that comes from solving a puzzle
is worth the process
of making it.