Fear deepens and plays
on insecurities
like the shrill of a violin
it leaves your heart on edge
taking and blackening bits of the soul
contentment such a far fetched goal

Our feet can't hold us down sometimes.
As old, worn out memories lash at our pale bony ankles.
Forget me, I've faded off into another world.
Our arms can't reach our eyes sometimes.
The harsh white light of the morning bears down on us like dull rusty razors.
Lose me, I've lost myself one hundred times before.
Our ears can't tune out those distant cries,
The wind oozes in, slapping up against silence.
Ignore me, I long for what you cannot give.
Our spines can't hold us high much longer,
As they slowly droop into angles meant for brooding.
Forgive me, for only then can you let me go.
Our hearts are slowly losing rhythm with the world.
Life has become to harsh--the future too shrouded by memories.
Leave me, somewhere in the past, with all the sweet nothing's and clouded laments to the unrelentless Gods that weave together beneath my toes.

Shrieking, all-in, nothingheldback laughter
Beats up against my skull,
Thudding, thudding.
Is this happiness observed?
Pools of wrinkles gather underneath
Squinted eyes,
Little silk kimonos crumpled at the foot of a bed.
Laugh lines fold and expand,
As if they are their own organisms,
Breathing in and out with the rhythm of life.

Somewhere else, there is crying,
***** feet and bruises the color of wilted pansies.
Undisturbed, they vibrate to a different frequency,
An isolated rhythm.
A symphony of cornflower and charcoal,
They dance about in a sad song of neglect.
Far away from the loud, booming laughter.

Oh, sunken eyes and sullen brows,
How have you not yet changed the world?
Thunder your despair,
Push up against the merriness and chrisanthimum bliss.

when i taste,
i am alone.
i am alone in this moment.
warm wind making love
to the candy green grass
and nearby, my open mouth:
a summer of oranges and chlorine
and the idea of someone else’s lips.

a curious lightness of the heart —
but i come back to my tongue
and my tongue only.

a million aftertastes
in the autumn that followed:
pomegranates bleeding in the kitchen
while the swimming pools
began to close
and those lips:
only a moment.
only an idea.

with taste i was alone.

with Sound
came restlessness:
a fresh morning
crowded and sweet
by the noise of the sun
that chose us.
that chooses us, still.

the sound of the bathroom sink
beating the alarm clock.
doors opening before eyes.
the sound of a strange tense,
of love in its past tense.

love craving a letter to wear on its tail,
and borrowing Death’s first —
how it leaves your teeth differently,
how it will come to remind you of this gift.

even the shy ones,
the sounds that happened while we were sleeping,
even those sounds from underwater,
where your voice returns to you
heavy and misshapen —

even there
when i listen
i don’t have to be alone.

I have a picture on my wall from a time before,
a picture of a man a woman smiling.
They held each other close then, but so long ago,
now things have changed so much has changed.

A picture of a man and woman smiling,
is something far and distant to me.
Now things have changed so much has changed
A past so close you could taste its sweat.

Is something far and distant to me,
really for us to cherish and remember.
A past so close you could taste its sweat,
Yet so far away only a shimmer of what it once was.

Really for us to cherish and remember,
that we all are human and can grow apart,
yet so far away only a shimmer of what it once was,
can still linger and sting.

That we all are human and can grow apart,
a thing we should watch and fear.
Can still linger and sting,
stealing our happy memories before we reached the end.

A thing we should watch and fear.
I have a picture on my wall from a time before,
stealing our happy memories before we reach the end.
They held each other close then, but so long ago.

Suddenly all my time is spent with you.
I feel so different now, completely new.
You leave me speechless, don’t know what to say,
still this feeling stays we will end any day.

I try to stay happy and enjoy this
moment, won’t last beyond a single kiss.
I want to reach out and hold on before
I fall. Because each time my heart is sore.

I shouldn’t feel this way and I don’t yet.
You want much more and we only just met.
Every time I let myself go I loose,
now this time only I would like to choose.

I start to cry and slowly say goodbye
This bond just started and now it will die

Whether or not I want to give a touch
I won’t get back. The price is still too much.
I am not ready, I am even scared
I don’t know when it will ever be dared.

Am not waiting for something or someone,
but a feeling that I will get when am done.
Pausing for a second to take it all
in. I don’t want to build up a wall

or be called bad names and labeled a tease.
If I ever meant something can do this please.
And if I didn’t still do it for me,
someday I will be ready I will be

I start to cry and slowly say goodbye
This bond just started and now it will die

While I wait go do whatever you need.
Have fun, make love, promise things, smoke some ****.
But I am not your girl and I never was.
Things will change, good, bad, they will just because.

I will travel I will transform in time,
you don’t want for me and that’s my sign.
When you can’t see past, what is bad for you?
I can see what you tell me isn’t true.

Troubles we have in common, things we shared.
Thoughts and feelings that I understood and cared
will never play a big role in your life
things I knew already cut like a knife.

I start to cry and slowly say goodbye
This bond just started and now it will die