i'm covered

all in blue

in the world

of dark grey

before you **** yourself,
just remember
that there are
places you have not been
and things you have not seen.
and poems to awe
art to draw
fields to walk through,
people to talk to,
music to take in,
games to win,
and books to be read.

so why,
oh why
do you wish
to be dead?

My brain says move
My body disobeys
I sleep
I don't eat
My smile is gone
My green eyes have faded
My skin has paled
My body has thinned
I am weak

1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
*Please don't make me go on.

I'll give you this piece of me
Though there's not much to give
Do with it what you will
But here it is

I lost my mother
Just this past April
She wasn't there for graduation
She won't be there
If I get married
Or have little babies
And it breaks my heart
I know I've still got my father
But it's not the same
We're too different
He doesn't understand
There's no comfort
When I get bad
Nothing but anger
I need her
And she's not here
I've spent hours just crying
And because of an accident
Her car is gone too
It could have been mine
And now it's gone
I gave up my dream
Of going to school
Majoring in photography
(Something she helped me discover)
Making her proud
To buy a new car
So I could still work
I've got no more dreams
Nothing to look forward to
And I feel hopeless
After my car is paid off
In about two years
I may just end it
There's nothing left for me
Not in this life

It's been so long
But I did it again
There are little red lines
Hiding on my body
I was clean so long
But I've broken again
My skin no longer solid
Broken in places unseen
I feel the burn
And I love it
Help me please
I can't stop crying
I swear I didn't mean to
But I did it again

Everyone is alone
Everyone is empty
People no longer need others
There's always a replacement
A back up plan
Relationships have a Plan B
And I'm bored
Of the world this way

Not really living
Or existing
Just kind of here
More like stuck
No way out of this
Trapped in the mind maze
Can't find my way out
To enter the real world
It gets old sometimes
Wandering these empty halls
Nothing written on the walls
No notices posted
Or warnings to tell you
The misery you'll find
If you look too closely
Into the dark and creepy
Abandoned old rooms