We are all that is made from the words of others and the emotions they give, or take.
The building blocks or rubble of our very fabric, and all that separates growth from decay can be just a word, one single word.
Growth can be slow and nurtured by another, but decay, oh decay can be swift and destroy so much in an instant.
There comes a time when we begin to build a wall rather than build ourselves.
It gets higher around us until it shuts out all the world
Then we die within our own prison
Built from bricks made with the words of others

Inner space?
Yes I pose the question
What is it?
Is it alone time
Is it loneliness
Is it simply the place we go to think
Or the place we go to hide
Its all our own whatever your answer
Mine Is mine to visit and your not welcome
You may have driven me there
Find your own.

Dad!!!
Where can I  buy a fridge freezer, I'm hearing things that can't be real.
Dads head now spinning, can't fathom why so asks the question why oh why?
Why  because your mum has two and when I left one was new.
No it's not for me its for my friend, because her daddy upt and left
The first time in months she touched my heart because she showed she cared allot
So daddy asked what's it all about and his heart sank at how she cared for a friend she hardly knew as yet
Her mum works hard all the time and can't afford to get one now
She works all day on the farm and I want to get her one ok?
So what does a dad say to that when he finally sees behind his daughters mask
She has a heart and god its big,  so I guess I need to find a fridge!
So asked about and favours called to find a fridge for Dherrans  mum!
Off to Woolton and back again, we have one and I'm feeling great.
Four weeks later I still have one and no contact with Dherrans mum!!
Calls and texts and no reply! Oh how I've tried
So Emily tonights the night I'll leave it in your friends drive.
So off I popped and knock knock knock and eyes like saucers looking back!
I'm now sure I've got it wrong the house the number the whole shabbang
Who's this bloke and *** I'm in me onsie oh my god!
Introductions and no idea who or why he is here!
I'm Emilys dad well that fell flat, but dont I know you anyhow?
After deduction better than Sherlock Holmes he showed his badge it all came clear thank **** for that the fridge is here!!!
Fridge inside and cups of tea and laughter filled the air with glee
Talk of art and Shakespeare to a pleasant change from a Thursdays gloom
Then time to go and say goodnight, I rather liked the onsie sight!!!
So there's the tale and simple enough..
Don't underestimate a childs love
x

Silence now, No drums
No sounds of marching bands
Only silence
The faint sounds of crying across a proud land

A feeling of national loss, bewilderment
An act that has cut a nation to the quick
The slaying of a valiant heart by cowards
Valiant as his brotthers and sisters in arms

They do what many could not comprehend
Their life in the balance, daily
Yet they fight to protect innocents
They risk all to protect those with nothing
Give everything for the greater good

Mourn our drummer for he is OUR drummer
Remember him as that
Remember him as a man with pride
Passion principle and virtue

A man who gave it all for OUR safety
For our country
For his family
For love of good in this world

Do not be silent
Shout his name from roof tops
Write it down read it out loud
For when a warrior is spoken of
He is remembered

The next time the drums beat it will be in lament
Marching will be heard that day
The feet of man woman child
Christian Muslim bhudist all creeds all faiths

He shall be mourned as a King
Streets lined by his family his people
The British people in their thousands
Defiant resolute and thankful

Drummer Lee Rigby, remember his name
For today we lost a part of My England
Let it not be in vain

The view from the foxhole, down the rabbit hole
They say life is a series of moments. Some pivotal some fleeting. The fear in a childs eyes, the despair in the dying, the hope in a birth.
But those moments may happen decades apart. The irony is a single event can play them back all in parallel, simultaneously in a nano second, like a high voltage shock, trigured by anything. Something as simple as looking in a mirror or the sound of a childs cry. Thus it is little wonder sometimes people can just overload and snap. Fall into that mirror, that eternally looped moment. More disrurbing is you may be the trigger, or the stop by a simple word or action.

Interaction

I have said before, that the shortest distance between two souls is a smile.
The longest, a silence.
For daily we meet people.
Some, no words exchanged and yet an imprint left upon our being that won't fade.
While others speak a thousand words, none impact, their vocality hollow and lost upon you.
But here is the thing.
A smile has many facets.
A smile has no language, no need of a translator, no passport norr permissions sought.
Once you have seen a smile that penetrated your walls, your barriers and fears, it is like wanting a fix.
The yearning to have one more shot.
The adulation, the comfort, the everything.
Has someone smiled like that to you?
What did you do....

Being silent doesn't mean I cannot speak
Not talking because I don't have the words is not being willfully ignorant
For if one doesn't understand my silence
My words would be harder to explain
Depression is a deep emotion
Like a weight that is strapped to you
Sometimes light in mass
Sometimes heavy
So so heavy even breathing hurts
Speech imposible and a hug could, even meant well,
Simply break you
An outpouring of emotion to you can be to much to absorb, almost destructive
Your ability to feel dampened, lost
Yet unseen no matter how you battle
That is what some carry
A load they can't shed
So silently they exist.

For you the band played on. The people clapped the light went up my friends they chat, I do not hear for she is not here.
But my thoughts aren't here. They are, they are there with you a woman I don't even know.
I wonder now more and more just how the world brought you to my door.
A twist of fate, she spoke to me.
A soft sweet voice that teases me, made me laugh and makes me see. A sultry whit that knows no bound an intellect I understand.
Now that is said is scary to, for are you me and am I you ?
Be it hours, not days or weeks until we take the time to meet. I hope we see the warmth inside that both of us have tried to find.
So now I write to you in rhyme and verse no others do. As inspiration for to write has to have a guiding light.
I never studied how to prose, my grammar may not be of cause. Yet I long to see you smiling face and touch you finger tips each day.
I want to see if the spark is there and look at you without a care.
I write to you and try to say how much you make me smile each day.
So omnipotent princess of light may you sleep softly at home tonight.
For somewhere many miles away a poetic fool dreams of you.
Starshine and moonbeam silly names we use to tease, but without the light from a caring star a moonbeam wouldn't shine at all.
So sleep and dream my earthly friend and wake to read this prose I send. For many years I have not written a single word or spoke aloud my soul be heard. Oh yes it does it scares me so. But we have to know.

Tattooed and a bike rides in the night
Sleeps in a onesie and loves her dog
Loves the world hates the worst
But wants to have spoons
Oh I'm tiddly poo where are you
Whats it all about

It wasn't my shower
A rebel through and through!

How many men walked upon the moon
Who invented the telescope
Who rode the niagra falls
Who split the atom
Who invented dynamite
What's the square root of infinity
Who's god
Stop asking questions

I fell asleep and then I dreamed
It wasn't what I had perceived
The clock went back to days gone by
When I was in another's life
Why there? Why now?
I have no idea, but a replay of another year
The venue I know it oh so well
The people and the foods aswell
But you and I were never there
I can't recal just why that was
But as we left we kissed and hugged
We left as one not as now
Then I woke and you were gone
An irregular dream, well that was one.

Is love always lost when you find it?
When you fall in love, why doesn't it hurt like falling out?
The sun doesn't rise, we fall !
Ever heard the dawn break?
Neither have I.
When night fell, did it trip or was it pushed?
Do the stars know when we can't see them?
Do the clouds feel the cold?
Do birds sing in tune?
If love is blind is it deaf dumb and stupid as well?
Does any of it matter when you are alone?
Can anyone really tell...

I guess if you stare at a problem long enough you can just end up stareing !
It won't go away, neither will it magically fix itself.
Ask is it your problem for a start?
If not does it need looking at
If not walk away for you have enough to stare at

It is ethereal
A start and an end
We can never be precise as to where exactly
Nor can we measure its mass or volume
We just move with it
Within it
and notice its passing.

My thoughts are cluttered daily by the abscence of common sense
The throwing away of reason without knowledge
The abandonment of all that I call rational
Yet I cannot cross the line for I fear I fall and not be caught
That stepping into another's world where you are bereft of footing
How easy it is to be rendered lost by the presence of another
Love or infatuation, lust or lear who categories it
Not I I'm simply just consumed

What's an ****** I was asked
A satirical pose to make me laugh
Well I've heard its a mystical beast
Portrayed in **** a veritable feast
In documentarys with middle aged bags
On day time tv discussing there *** !
The reality is mystical still
Some can attain it for others no thrill
It's a strange event that's never seen
A ***** a rabbit on a jelly bean
To make someone shake and hopefully ***
Anne Summers will give you the gadget for that
Or a washing machine if you sit on top!
So in asking me what an ****** is
Is hard to describe or picture indeed
But if your good then later tonight
I'll answer the question with a little spice!!!

No day is ever the same
Today was confusing
I've had to change my relationship status on Facebook
No big deal I hear you say
To "its complicated" for a few days
I've sprained my left wrist
It's just not fun you see
  The other hand isn't working out for me!

There is only the truth
It's in the dark
Your truth.
Not that fashioned by others
Not the stories told
Not the lies and false hoods
Not the bitter tears
Nor the laughter hiding pain
It's there
The truth
If you can bear to look
Into the darkness

I would catch her face, drifted of into the past just for moments thinking of him.
The years had passed and I knew she had used me to get over him.
But he was never out of her mind.
The mistakes, excuses. Yes he had cheated on her but she used all she learnt from him to use me.
Then when the time was right.
Move on.
Never be someones second choice or backup plan.

Go now!
Spiteful conveyer
For your close counsel is false and needless
Don't call to discuss your woes and infidelity
Or use others to shield your sworded encounters
No affirmation of friendship is ever trustworthy
As swathed thy black soul is with treachery
Chased away, no drove away happiness between others With bitter contempt and yet brazen still thy protest, yet they called you friend.
Friend! How that was mocked
For they had nothing, save one thing you could not buy,
only love
Yet you clouded a heart that needed help
Drove it to darkness and despair
Was it a fantasy of what was never yours that procured a lie
Or was it simply jealousy?
The man who did not desire you?
Why not he simply must!
The man who asked nothing only friendship
Desired nothing of you nor wanted of you.
Yet you destroyed what warmth he found with another
Thou shalt not covet!
Yet you did.
Oh but he kissed her so tenderly
He kissed her !
Not you
He spoke of her
Held her
Loved her
Not you
It was all about you  
But
Was never you

I've never been to Paris in the spring summer or fall
Nor seen the Champs-Élysées blanketed in winters fresh snow
I've never seen it, Why? As I could never go alone

I seemed to miss the part where two lovers met and kissed or stood for 20 minuites in a passionate embrace
Then slowley walk together hand in hand in the rain, along the banks of the river of romance, the Siene

I'm not in the lovers photographs, beneath the Eiffel tower or the playful Quasimodo pose outside of Notre Dame
You won't see me in any of them, for I was never there, because while my lover travelled I stayed and built a home, a place we could call our own.

But bigger and better was never enough your greed for things was just to much then one day off you went as you didn't hear a word I'd said
To you by now I was simply staff and just like them I was sacked

But now alone I look at things and know what I can do
Change the way I look at life and why I never went with you
For Paris is for lovers and not just those who share the rent

So one day I'll go to Paris, even if I am alone
I shall walk the streets and see the sights that lovers call their own
Who knows If I'm the only one who needs to make that trip
Do others think of it the same in reverence and wish?
One day i'll go to gay Paris and a blank post card  I shall send
"From Paris" with a smiley face
"I learnt to love myself".....
A picture of the tower or a snap outside the Louvre
Unsigned
No senders address

From Paris
With Love

I want you back she said.
I've made a mistake
It was a silly phase
Something I needed to do

I want you back and the way you kiss
The way you hold
The way you open doors
The way you hold my hand and stroke my hair
All the things I miss
But you had all that and then chose him
So why would you come back
The adventure done?
Had your fling and a thousand promises.
Your back because you aren't what they wanted no matter how you tried.
Your back to the comfort zone.
Back to tell more lies

Old age arrives
We notice its signs
The insanitary odours
The squeeks the creaks
The inappropriate hairs
That grow from ears
The time it takes
To do simple things
The less to say
As the mind decays
Make your time with them
All it can be
For someday soon
It will be you and me

The imagination can be a weapon of mass destruction
When running riot and exploding
When jumping like a kangaroo to conclusions only a fool could make
To always see the worse case scenario and never see the good in man
The paranoid and self gratification eventually took over a nation
When thoughts of all are out to get us invert to our most personal issues
The people then see nothing good deciet and cheats in all of us
The only end in this end of days is to be yourself for pity's sake.

I quite fancied Prague or Paris or Rome in an apartment to call our own. Days of laughter and nights of embrace then cuddled in slumber our hearts in place.
But nothing lasts forever as Brian Ferry said and all I had was music always in my head.
So I sang for my supper my breakfast to, watching the smiles of those I amused.
Love had escaped me it simple passed me by and crank after crank entered and left my life.
But this may be different a something else,
One nuit in Paris may happen again.

I was once told " If I fell over a lover I wouldn't notice ."  Then another day "
Your hearts a swinging brick!"
  To be berated and ridiculed for holding my love's close counsel.
Whilst watching the poison in others dye the cloth, the skin, nay the belligerent SOULS of those they saw happy and envied so that had to hurt.
They care not for my swinging brick nor a fragile heart of a woman now glued together with salty tears, it's life journey a ride they could never envisage nor take nor understand. Yet they judge.
They judge yet not fit to speak your name nor be in thy presence.
I morn not their passing nor degredate their views. I shall not waste pity upon them.
Why? Because I'm your friend and waste not my time upon harbingers

Just a little
No more
Not to much
Not greed
Not avarice
Not betrayal
No more than necessary
No less than to fulfill
None left
None to give
None to take
Only remnants
Only an echo
Only a trace
Just a little

Sometimes all we want is to be held
To be told its all ok and fears gone away
To be gently kissed our hair tugged and stroked
To be covered in oil and our weary limbs rubbed

Other days we are filled with the devil and a demon inside
That makes you twitch and feel deprived
Makes you just want to loose control, bent over and banged like swinging door
Then the feeling goes again
Left empty
Cold
And alone

Running barefoot along the beach
Farting in a room before you leave
An extra cake and sod the diet
Five minutes more in bed
A couple of drinks on your own
I twitch in the pants as they pass
Lie in the bath on the phone
Music loud when alone
Because we can

Sometimes feel like screaming out Loud.
Well if a child can shurly I can too.
I don't need the stress you put me through.
Rhetoric digs to other folk, you hurt people, to you a joke.
You have no heart the devil took your soul and your brain isnt there at all.
You must sit at night and try to think of ways to hurt those you meet the next day
Well karma comes to all one day and to you it's dose will come what may.
I hope I'm there to see that day and see your soul fade away

I'm a drink driver !
I'm driving a bus.
It's the bus you wanna be on,
and going full ******.
I'm driving the Karma bus
So it's time to decide
if your a passenger,
or roadkill tonight.

Karma......
Karma comes in many forms
From a simple breeze to a tropical storm
From a gentle nudge
To hearty push
But when it comes it doesn't rush
**** on folk and scream and shout
Karma is always taking notes
So build an empire and declare yourself queen
Nothing karma hasn't already seen
But to get to the throne you used those who cared
Then when your needs fulfilled you cast them away
Then karma after taking notes, came to call to rerurn it all.
The throne now challenged, the empire at war
You really really should have known.
But when your ego is all you have
When others love is cast aside
When all you have left is the world outside

Ask yourself was it worth it all?
To be the empress is to be alone

We meet people with our emotions locked away.
Over time letting them out one by one as we let people closer. Then eventually if we feel it's right we give people the keys to our hearts.
We expect them to hold that key like a precious jewel.
Some however just add it to a key ring loaded with other keys to other things.
Forgetting until it's too late what that key was for.
The day they remember, often the lock has been changed.

All the things that are to die for
Are what generally **** us in the end
Alcohol
Tobacco
Sugar
Love
Justice
Truth
Some quickly
Some slowley
Most by our own hand

I feel as though I have been undone
One cell at a time
An erosion of myself
Like a child pulling a thread watching a scarf disappear into a long ruffled length of wool
It has some memory of its previous form like DNA
Each morning when I wake, I feel like that ball of wool has been re knitted but never the same
It is as though my emotions have been re configured

I'm past it now
I'm over the top
Just waiting for things to start falling off
More grey than brown
More wrinkles each day
I wasn't expecting to be this way
Cholesterol high and diet low
Statins to stop you from having a stroke
I thought I'd be watching the seasons pass in the arms of a traveler who walked my path
If it's three score and ten then i'm in the last quater and it ain't golden years as the magazine's sold you
A tablet for this and another for that and one for the side effects if your still using that!
So go make mistakes
Make many
Then more
That's the advice as now I'm old

She over thought everything,
to the smallest detail in everything.

So when after three glasses of wine and a full pack of Doritos she said
"I love you"
He knew she meant it.

I can say with up most confidence, that I knew not what love was, till I knew what love wasn't

They came in their thousands
One after another
Seemingly no end to them
They just kept coming
Body upon body yet more
The wave of running flesh
Only stopping for the dawn
Night came and again they did

Little clones little clones
Hive minds not there own
Follow blindly not free
All oppressed none can see
Pity them don't judge their fear
If they question they disappear

I read an account of a small girl today
"Crunching beneath her feet
Like a thousand stars twinkling in the faint light of Potsdamer Platz
Father holding her hand so tightly it hurt
Sick children chased over broken glass
The Jewish children's hospital ransacked
While staff beaten for tending to the unworthy sick"
You can feel the fear in her words
The darkest November
Hatered had now found a new form, a face, a sign
The *******.
Men paraded and followed ******
Revered like a demi god
They worshiped an ideal.
MIEN KAMPF
It seems now implausible that one mans belief and struggle that he apportioned to a race could be bastardised into a purge of races that divided mankind and almost ended it
From that night to this there have been many acts that again raise that spectre.
Sarejavo Iraq to mention but a few.
Tonight Jews Gentiles and others will shine peaceful lights at Potsdamer Platz.
What have we learnt in 75 yrs
The world watched the **** machine grow
The world did not act

What do we now watch
Who are we now failing...

Shes bi!
Polar or ******?
Not sure if a genius or schizophrenic.
Have you considered both?
She can't get a man as her son is Autistic.
You mean she can't be bothered with judgemental fools like you.
Keep away from her she's a man eater.
Are you jealous because you are not on the menu.
You just don't know
So keep quiet.

100 years and once more we will stand silent for the lost of the war.
Millions of lives fighting for what, they had another and more after that.
Millions spent on bullets and bombs, the rich getting richer the poor slain again.

Still men missing
Never to be
Laid to rest
On Englands fields