All I could hear was my heartbeat deafening in my ear as I lay upon the pillow and held back the tears.
A thousand thoughts all mixed up, not one made any sense and you just sit there staring, at me in my bed.
You're always there, never far and a plague upon my life.
Whenever things are bad you make them worse at night.
Never wanted always here, oh where did you come from. The cursed black dog !
BE GONE! BE GONE! BE GONE!

She sleeps, motionless
Only breath,
Her breath In the night moves her form
She has an alabaster like serenity of soul
Innocent as she sleeps
Yet in her waking hours her form is that of seduction
She has a simplicity in motion that arouses the most controlled of men
Now
Do I wake her
Do I kiss her or embrace her sleeping form

When it's no longer you
Do you show it?
Or hide just what you feel?
She no longer hears I love you
Your works are cold as night
Do you accidentally meet her?
Or seem to drive right past
Or find another reason
To call up to her house?
Do you ask others what she's doing?
I mean is there really someone else?
I wish I knew the answer for I just walked away
If she says she doesn't love you
Listen to what she says
Keep on with your life
Dont make an *** of yourself

Flower!
Petal or other such crap
Don't call me that
Unless you want the real thing
Stuck up your ***
Your term of endearment means nothing
I have a name my parents gave me
Respect me you oaf or leave me alone

Know what a kettle feels like inside as it boils?
I thought not
Know what it feels like to be wrapped in cling film?
No
Know what it feels like to be buried alive yet walking around?
I mean who could
Know what it feels like to want to just disappear?
She does
She knows
It's her everyday
You call it odd
Dr calls it bi polar
She calls it hell

Tug at my hair
Nibble my neck
Oh kiss me there I'm all a wreck
Fingers entwined hands up high,
Kiss me harder I feel alive
Down my neck across my chest
Oh god I want more lift my dress
Run your tongue across my chest
I want you now get undressed
Almost made it to the bed
Oh do me on the stairs instead
Oh this is how I dreamt it would be!
Take me to bed and ravish me
Hang on
NO
Who's in my bed!
It's me you see
I'm still asleep
Night's like this
I simply weep

I wonder what you think of as you sleep, Bond ! Cloony or little me.
Whose Arms do you imagine hold you tight when your eyes close and hide the light.
Do you dream of passion or prose love or embrace?
Can you remember when dawn brings it's kiss.
As you shower and dress and sip your tea do you still think of me.
Off to work the radio on as you heard your favourite tune did you remember the night we where alone.
Did you get to work and meet your friends your mind still in the weekend.
Do you check your phone for a random text to see if I'm thinking still of the night you gave your all to me.
As you eat your roll and pass the time can you still feel me holding you tight?
530 now and your off home will I be there or thou be alone.
All day I've thought of nothing more than to kiss you as you arrived home..
To take your coat and kiss your lips and undress you with my fingertips.
Run my tongue across your neck and kiss your lips and make you shake.
But neither of us have ever kissed and we both dream and simple bliss.

Eyes tightly closed as you languish in the place
Immersed in a world of pleasure and perfection
The senses start to awaken, sounds at first
Then your eyes open and reality rushes in
Try as you might your ****** out of the warmth of the dream, the cold air hits you
Taste becomes active, the smells of perfume gone
The stomach churns as you have awakened to all
the stresses and pressures of the day ahead
The dream now gone
And memory of it fades as you can't hold it
You spend the day looking for signposts back there
Yet none avail themselves

Drinking *** doesn't make you a pirate
Or dressing like a buffoon
The only harties you have
Are the ones you pay or groom
Three in a bed is a nursery rhyme
Not something for every night
But put on that shirt and grab your pistol
Or in your case a guitar
And strut about like bootstrap Bill
Wooing with your charm
But charm like sunlight fades into dark night
When there is no substance and *** and "Coke" are rife
I looked up too you talent
You really did some good
But maybe you're a pirate after all
Leaving a wake of *****

Look in front of you at the waves
Imagine this
Every molecule of water you see
Yes every one has always been here
Be there one or many
Always there
Cast a message in a bottle it will float
Make a wish for another on a droplet
One day it will fall as rain on another continent
Or fall as a tear
For it is eternal like the sun

I strain my eyes to see what is before me
Often focusing in and out, trying to gain detail
detail of what exactly.
I am simply an observer, no more no less
I have no stake in this reality.
I'm simply a passenger
You all scuttle past unseen, but there!
Never noticed, never challenged
Yet you spout opinion never fact, like hyenas
Await a head above the parapet
Shoot to **** !! They made a mistake
Vapid and insincere. Harbingers to a tee
**** your insincerity, **** you to hell
Let me see you bare your soul, give of yourself
No you cannot because you have no worth
No measure, no purpose
Feeding like carion on the bones of the living, loving,
Fighting for air
Yet you prey upon them still, worthless and bereft of a soul
One day you will be that, frail, trying hurting..
Then your kind will devour you.

Profanity  profanity there's nothing like profanity
A cheeky T@@@ a silly cow we just can't stop them coming out
A quick F@@@ off, a ***** yourself
Improves the mood like nothing else
But wait!
It's really better still when alcohol helps the thrill
A sentence made of  many c@@@ and f@@@s
That grammar simply can't construct !
But you my friend have drunk tourettes
You swear and curse amongst the best
The more you drink the more you cuss
You really are a social plus!
In front of kids and grannys too
You just cant stop your verbal puke
I've learnt words in groups I can't describe
Your mouth shouts out in awe and pride
You simply are an ignorant pig
Who needs carbolic in your grid!

Time travel love
I would just like to say how much I love you.
Have an amazing Yule/Christmas.
To the most amazing, beautiful and incredible woman in the world.

So
One day I hope someone will look back at this and read it and know it was for them alone, even though they didn't yet know

Even though they were not known
Never met
Never kissed
Never touched their finger tips

Had never laughed like lovers do
Never knew the others view

They spent today all alone
They never called them on the phone

They went to bed and fell asleep
Their ying and yang didn't meet


So is this all about me and for another I may never meet
Or it could be for you and others
Who never met their time travel lovers

So share it!
Tweet it
Instagram or shout
Let the world know you're about

What do you have to do?
I've writen the hard part down for you.
A lonely Farts production

Buds pushing up and the dew of night still hanging from them as each morning they show some more of their beauty. The grass now growing again after it's winter sleep. Mornings brighter and bird song at 4am. Wet shoes as we walk through the field as the night still clings to each blade of grass. The moss now dying on the pourous headstones and staining the rock beneath.

Warm sun and a lush canopy of every green, eyes squinting through sunrise, the smell of fresh cut lawns and the smell of barbeque coals soaked in juices drifting from the gardens nearby. Late evenings and children playing till the street lights glow. The sound of foxes barking as I try to sleep. Out gathering and walking the paths I walked.

Dried leaves crushed underfoot, announcing the change of season as the nights come sooner and the sun loses it's heat. They are the days I will remember most of our autumn. As a temporary death comes to the place of death. The umbrella of multicoloured beauty falls in the breeze and blown to dance like spirits. The last flowers dried and decaying, Rain becomes colder the foxes no longer bark.

The leaves now gone, trees naked and cold. Redundant nests tossed in the wind and decay all around above and beneath the ground. Only the sparce laurels and holly show any green. The grass covered in a thin layer of white muddied by feet passing through. Not as idyllic as a Christmas card or calender. But this is my place. Where my best friend sleeps. The daily walk with my dog. My solace. Often my only peace, my only escape. Now, I share it with you.

The darkness is consuming me cell by cell
As though it wants me to take my own life ever pushed to that edge by the feeling of emptiness and solitude
Invited by thoughts of peace and nothingness

Awake
Solitude stands with me this night
Uncanny the silence has noise
A white noise only punctuated by my breath
You ever listen to your breathing?
You become conscious of its shortness
Breath deeper and deeper
A car passes, the silence broken
You become frustrated, sleep in not here
Pick up the phone, log on, read others work
Smile knowing their awake miles away
Tapping away, giving their all  
Like, comment, enjoy. Mae on top form
A simple yet beautiful verse.
Then Samantha Wells  "Wanting"
A new kid on the block who tonight readers gave it all!
She can't see how good, others will, many
The Phantom calls another great piece but now
Now I have to try again to sleep
Goodnight wordsmiths don't hold back
Miss Askew, Dieingemembers you keep me enthralled
1796 we could chat for hours, Victoria watches my spelling of course
So thankyou so much for the pleasure you bring
The sandman is calling so  now I must leave

Einstein so your theorem says
TIme travel simple won't work
For if you travelled back and killed your dad
He can't meet mum and *** be had
The moment you struck you'd disappear
Or never exist at all it seems
Your peers say you can't meet yourself
As if you touch you interfere
Once again I think your wrong
As the body degenerates and its cells replace
In twenty five years the bones as well
I visit myself as I child it isn't me I won't explode
I just need a machine to prove the point

Oi  K9 where have you parked the Tardis

If we consider our life to be like a elevator starting at the ground floor. As we grow we move to differing levels. Sometimes we skip levels that we think we can do without or not need to experience. Bypass them. Often later in life we have to go back and descend to them before we can go higher. Sometimes people end up in the basement. There is a bar there and lots of bad ideas. But again you may need the visit. For some the basement is where each day the lift comes to rest. But the basement is cold after the bar closes and the other drinkers leave. If you make it out you have a choice of not pressing the down button again. The lift of life is never static. If the lift breaks down and you get trapped there isn't an emotional fireman that turns up and rescues you from the lift. You have to work out for yourself which floor you want to be on. There are signs and guides. But unless the lift breaks and someone has to repair the mechanism, you're on your own.

Can there be any doubt in a mind that knows
In thoughts aloof beyond our scope
Professorial peaks and highs
Paused words and thoughts sublime
Intellect that's a world away
From you and I day to day
Well that's you who ponders and petulates
It's more like ****** and Norman Bates
Because dear proff you're a total ****
A higher education ****
Emeritus wizard oh high priest of thought
Who reads the Times, what else of course!
You graze upon its every word
Like a runny smelly sloppy ****
So there you have it professor ****
A tribute to you the legal ****
No better than any other man
You worthless piece of human spam

Cohesion that which binds
Division that which separates
Love that which builds
Anger that which destroys
Emotion ?

Sometimes
All that is there is the emptiness
Not darkness
Not cold
Just the void
You could try
I mean to explain it
That in itself has a problem
For my emptiness
Isn't your emptiness
How could it be?

The pen is mightier than the sword
Now that is a crock of ****
If you never learnt to read or write
You can't proclaim it is
Tell it to a Syrian child
Filled with only fear
You can't eat a pencil
Textbooks get you killed
The west has failed a nation
Rhetoric is hot  air
In the time you took to read this
Another child is dead.

I had so much I wanted too write.
My head bursting with so much thought, so many words, so much emotion.
I just can't organise the letters to make words that make sense.
Maybe they don't want to be written just yet.

I have outlived my youth
Tumbled past all the signposts on the way
Completed the mandatory steps
Now only death awaits me
That singular journey to it
No growing grey together
Just a statistic
Sadistic at that

Always failing up the stairs
Stumble as you get off the escalator
Pull instead of push
The revolving door that doesn't turn
No toilet paper in the loo
The bulb goes pop as you enter the room
Size above size below but not yours
Traffic jam, no parking space
You fail at running the human race
But each night when you get home
He hugs and kisses only you
You don't need to run a race
This is the best part of your day

Just one day
24 hours
He paid his fee
She attended as promised
Dressed as requested
Beyond his dreams
They went out
Small talk was all
Dinner and drinks
He paid for it all
Off to the room
There was not much sleep
She left before breakfast
Nothing was said
A sea of heartache
She left her mark

A little twist a squirt of oil
A flick of the wrist the tumbler rolls
A petty thing to change the lock
Shows you really are a ****
I Imagine the look upon your face
As the smug smile is worn away
Yeah she's been and got her stuff
Your an amateur her friends are not
You came close but no cigar
So I've left you one as a souvenir
So big boy who hits on girls
Your MMA mates don't know that yet
I'd hide from them when it hits the press
Before they make your face a mess

When you are young you don't ask
the beautiful ones for fear of rejection.
So seldom would you ever end up with the right one.
Your soul mate.
When you are older you are so scared of making a mistake you either won't date, or date once and run,
or end up after few dates in bed and find out it's so not who or what you thought.
As we age we build a facade like make up I guess.
He wanted heels she wanted Bob the builder.
She wanted all she never had.
He wanted peace and all he had imagined.
  Do we ever really say what we mean.

If today ends and tomorrow starts
Yesterday will be a memory of today
So if tomorrow and today are thus the same
They all become yesterday
Then is tomorrow today?
Or is yesterday tomorrow ?
So live for today
Dream of tomorrow
Enjoy yesterday's memories
But most importantly
Is the bar open?

I bid you!
Step back and look at relationships.
Love
when did it become a taboo word.
When did actually working for something become so so hard?
Do we fall in love or has it now become a matter of social engineering based on salary and position?
Or has it always been that way?
Has love become an asset?
Is it obtainable or disposable?
Have we become the embodiment of Barbarella?
Dial 9 for ***?
Do we even know what love is anymore?
We place so many restraints upon ourselves.
Date sites read like you want to build your partner from Lego!
"Must be tall"
"Must be athletic"
"Must be blonde and have blue eyes"
Hell it reads like the 1930s Aryan manifesto!
What changed?
What did we lose?
Granted we were never taught how to love.
Just steered by examples around us and the media.
We get no guide.
For a relationship is a series of events.
A partnership of compromise and putting others first.
That is love
The actuality of giving freely
The fluidity in being of more than ones self.
As with no guide to success, there is no guide to what works.
So giving up before we start has become so so easy.
Not even giving someone a chance as they are an inch below you.
Not meeting her because she is a size bigger than the cover of a magazine model that is an airbrush fake in any case.
Mankind has become a species of apathy.
If Neil Armstrong was born now he would be sat in a bar not walking on the moon.
We don't nurture anything.
We lost our way.
We have lists.
We no longer know who we’re looking for.
Maybe if we worked backwards.
Ask the couple in the park on the bench in their 80s what made you love?
Not how did you meet or where.
What made you try?
With millions of people what made you special.
We now write of sitting watching DVD s on the couch and growing old together, must love cats, why? Do you want an individual or another pet?
A lap dog.
You can party with anyone.
Friends family hell even the cat.
But finding someone who knows us, who understands us even on a bad day is what we need.
The excitement and thrills will come in any case with all of lifes ups and downs.
But only if "You" are prepared to take a leap into the unknown.

What has the mind to do to keep its balance
Its ever changing chemistry is in flux
Foods medication emotions to mention a few
The things that change its balance
What makes me and you
Can imbalance on one, be countered by another?
Or does that fuel a conflict if one changes mood
So ive been to the mountain and mohamud wasn't there
I've kicked around loves dusty streets when only I was there
I've look inside my soul to find I was not there
Daydreamed I'm invisible so no person sees my fear
Overridden ridden on, and been a crash test dummy
Where I've been and what I've done no longer seems of worth
I simply eat sleep breath and wander on a planet you call earth
If aliens exist look no further now for I walk among you every day as though I'm not even there

I know a girl called Ruby
Whose little sister is quite groovy
Her name is Eva and she shouts and screams!
Makes us want to disappear!
Ruby always winds her up till she screams
Then gets told off
But Eva has a secret weapon
When she sees Rubys least expecting
There comes a pong without a sound
A trouser cough? A silent pop?
Oh my god she's done a boff!
Run for cover she's let one off
Or was it mummy?
Oh blame the dog!

The noise of the day that clattered, now like a symphonic cachophony has wained
The many tasks to do, people to communicate with over
So I didn't get to all, but some, others I couldn't
But good was done
The application of logic as a blunt, wholesome instrument
Shattering the petty churlish moves of a fool
Like a game of chess with glass pieces
Seeing the opponents flaws in their transparency
Knowing, pre empting their next move
From a distance not knowing the king had fallen
Checkmate, but if you need another lesson
I'll gladly oblige, chess or something more your style
Tidley winks maybe??

Hit and miss who you get
To make your toast and fry your egg
A welcome smile or a caustic whit
Oi! You what sauce with it?
The minutes pass they come and go
Morning smiles to those they know
But if a stranger wanders In  the entertainment
It begins!
The double act at Evergreens is something
You really have to see
From start to finish from bread to filling
They take apart the poor unwilling
My toast and egg she hands to me
He's stood shaking like a leaf
I smile and say have a nice day
As she scurries off more food to make

A slip of silk
Top button undone
Oh she has your attention
You see the inner her
The long play version
Not the 45

Blonde hair tousled
In wistful curls
You remembered her as a little girl
Her voice is soft as she says "Hi"
You'd love to answer but your tongue is tied
Although our voice is roaring inside

She wants you to just say hello
She will do the rest if you just show
You smile and turn and walk away
Like every time she comes your way

Neither knows how the other yearns
Hearts alone await their turn
Maybe tomorrow one will flinch
The fire will start and love released

It's never to late to fall in love
Just find the one and open up
Seize the day embrace the night
Live as one lovers entwined

I have none
I mean why bother?
For all that you imagine is a nothing of reality
The dreams and plans made, often illusionary and yet, the only substance that carries us through the day
Only to be disappointed again as the night takes its place
We buy into this picket fence reality with the promise of a better life
Follow the rules
Who's rules
They simply don't exist

How do you mend a damaged heart ?
Fractured, cracked or blown apart.
You can't use glue, string or tape
vinegar and brown paper was a fairy tale.

How do you mend a broken heart

You can't buy passion, love or butterflies.
They can only be delivered with a smile.
A smile that could bring nations to war
or make a gladiator kneel before.

How do you mend a broken heart

The same smile that could make a grown man weep
or tell bedtime stories to make a child sleep.
To look upon a smile and its holders eyes
can mend that heart if you let it try.

So how do you mend a broken heart

Not leased or lent,
borrowed or loaned,
only when given will it be whole..
When another holds all you are

Is how you mend a broken beart

A face in the crowd
A glance nothing more
Eyes that hold you in their gaze
A smile that warms you
Words that start a fire inside
A touch that makes it burn wild
The why's the where's are all nulled
If that face looks at you.

Well it must be true it's on Facebook!
So much is said that isn't true
He did that and she flew the coup !
Like this, like that it's all the same
You wont cure cancer or heal a child's pain
Follow a cause or like a page
It's intellectual blackmail in a cyber age
So how did we get so wrapped up
Zuckerberg has sold us a pup
It's an imaginary world with no taboos
Who's with who and what they do
No truth of any, in most of it
It's a collective pile of bovine ****!

It's all gone wrong, you've had a few.
Who to text to tell the news!
Only important when you're ******
When you're not I don't exist
On the net for all to see you love him and not me!!
Tomorrow when the juice wears off you've forgotten who you've *******!!
Act like it was all a big mistake, deleting all the comments made.
So next time when you have a tiff don't tell the world at 2am, drunken facebook rants again.
Because you cried wolf so many times, we no longer give a *****.

Ever met someone with a face on them like a boot on backwards
They got out the wrong side of the bed and the beds against the wall!

I closed my eyes tight to see if I could remember your face.
To try and remember a face I may never have ever seen, or am yet too see.
All I saw was millions of lights as though racing through my thoughts, traversing the universe at light speed on a journey within my consciousness.
I was once told I would meet my soul mate.
We all do.
But you may not know it's them. For your paths may cross at the wrong time or maybe in another life past, or to come.
I often pondered that.
Now as I race through the universe I find I have no soul.
Oh I have compassion and empathy and I have known love in many ways.
I feel sometimes more than I should, often, not enough.
But a soul?
No, to know you have a soul it has to be touched, or torn from you by another, or if they are indeed your soul mate shown to you.
The others are not the lights I seek, they are but the darkness collecting others very essence or to revive or feed their own.
So I close my eyes.
I hope not for the last time.
As tonight I continue my journey.
Will they join me?
Only they know.

Wrapped in cellophane I felt today as
I washed the sheets a month on her scent now gone.

I prayed and prayed to the god above
Not to take the one I love
Fix all the things that were all so wrong
Make them good and whole and strong
Show me where I didn't give
Help me find the strength to live
Without a heart, without a will
No answer from the god I get
Descending deeper into hell
You ask me why I no longer pray
Heavens closed gods gone away

I was left high up in the ugly tree dumped and the stork flew away!
I turned to look around me and you guessed it I slipped and fell
Falling fast I hit every branch until I hit the ground
I landed face first where a cow had just crapped, my welcome to the world
I stood up and shook myself, my body not its best, was this the start of something or the begining of the end
I went to school, college too and I just dealt with it all
The snears and making fun off me I learned to ignore
I was different or odd or not the same as you, why it mattered so much I never really knew
I stopped looking in mirrors, I probably scared kids
I don't like my photograph in fact it makes me sick
I wear clothes that hide my shape they really never fit
I have the body of the demon
But an angel hides within
See past all the labels the stigmas you attached
I am no different it's you that lives the lie
The colour of my hair and skin is just how I am wrapped
I am all I'll ever be, no make up heels or fillers to make me look the part
My face doesn't dissolve at night or rub off on my pillow
My lips are crooked, eyebrows thin and my teelth may not be straight
But I spend my cash putting dinner on my kids plates not make up on my face
So judge me not on what you see
Don't judge me at all!
You never earned the right too
You never will at all

It was always there you just misplaced it.
Under a pile of doubt stacked by another
Sometimes we simply walk the path of least resistance
In the belief its ok and things will get better
That works for a time.
Then one day something happens and the pile falls and everthing scatters
Now the trick is to only pick up what you need not what others want.
The books were there all the time
I just didn't know who needed them
I no longer wanted them..
Weigh everything gainst this.
Do I like
If I do, do I want or need?
To want can  be a passing fancy
To need can be forever
Or the end