How many beats do you get with a heart
If you miss or skip, does god take an hr?
If it's broken by one do you lose a week?
When loved by another do you gain a year?
If it's fast from food or a little much pop
Does old father time hasten your clock
If you go to the gym, be good or eat well
Does it slow down the journey to heaven or hell ?
Elle sweet thing we simply don't know !
But the love of you mother makes yours beat on
So listen to hers as you did in the womb
For it still beats for you, your never alone x

All day like a muse she is in my thought
The imagined embrace, a stolen kiss
An embrace as two become entwined as though never separated
The car stops I go to the door but it  isn't home anymore
Inside I go and shout I'm home, but no reply I'm all alone
Then in the kitchen she stands and stares as cold as ice her ****** flare
I look forward all day to her embrace as I did for many years
Alas now I'm nothing to her
You should come home to love not war, warmth and love and be adored
If they want you as you do them, then all else in life can be repaired
When it went I didn't see but all was lost and no more here
A lesson learnt in pain and sorrow
I won't come home tomorrow

Light flashes reflecting of the windows bouncing on the ice
The snow caught in its beam thicker now like down floating on the breeze
The sound of the Ice cracking under foot the unsure footing, tremulous with each step
All around me slip and slide trying to get some purchase to make it home
Cars trace a path but harder by every inch as the cold bites
  home now feel the warmth of the air and as my face comes back to life.
Goodnight snow until tomorrow

Dinner is done table cleared guests are gone the sink is filled

Off she trots marrigolds on, hands in studs he watches on

Stood in heels she rocks and sways, a long time since she looked that way


He stares and smiles as he catches her gaze an inviting look to come her way

Hands on hips he kisses her neck as she pushes back their body's engage

She lifts her skirt and leans across inviting him to come on in

Two as one they now engage
The dishs simply have to wait.....

My thoughts are cluttered daily by the abscence of common sense
The throwing away of reason without knowledge
The abandonment of all that I call rational
Yet I cannot cross the line for I fear I fall and not be caught
That stepping into another's world where you are bereft of footing
How easy it is to be rendered lost by the presence of another
Love or infatuation, lust or lear who categories it
Not I I'm simply just consumed

So much repetition in each day
A reverence to pointless tasks for mindless people
We can improve this, modify that and all that's left
Is the remains of what worked
To get ahead you must now show evidence
Evidence you re invented the wheel
Streamlined a task made it longer
You lived up to the red tape challenge!!!
We now need a budget for more red tape
But you got your next step up
I despair at what monster reform has created

Who do I write for a lover lost? or lover  found?
Or a passer bye? Now that's profound
Write for a wage or write for supper
It's just words from one to another
So to clear the air and set things straight
I WRITE FOR ME! Make no mistake
A naughty poet, that's not me
You must see more than I've wrote down
You twist the verse to suit your cause
But If my words stir in you a thought or feeling to think or do
Then a happy poet I shall be and hope it makes you full of glee
But if you twist my words and think your subject of their verse
Go and have a quiet word !!!
You missed the point your off the page and having your own little rage
If I wrote personally to one dear soul in private so you got it wrong.

Waves of emotion stir the surface of it's sea
A sea deep, uncharted yet sailed upon
It's currents are passionate thoughts
The depths filled with shadows of lost lovers past
Her shores are washed with boundless opportunity
Many storms have changed the lands its touched
Now it's waves are calm and simply ripples
For loves dark shores are days away
Adrift in the Sargosa sea that is my love
A love for all yet reasoned for one

Sounds disappear as if smothered into the shadows
Footsteps make a dull thud lost in a blanket of fear
A fear that is held taught by the night and it's visitor
The cold velvet makes the dark light but impedes sight
All move on edge from doorway to doorway ears acute
Are those footsteps or the mind playing tricks
Working girls, Gin filled amid the stinking streets
Will I be next?? Is he a regular or a new player
The cry goes out followed by whistles
Boots on cobbles, screams! He has returned
No person saw him he morphed into the night
Her body lies torn mutilated to precision
Organs laid out in a rutualistic yet barbaric display
Once again unseen his work done "Jacks back"
Fear grips the streets again the press give him status
The people condemn, the police powerless or forbidden to act?
Only history will reveal the killer in the fog

A million different thoughts
What!
If!
How!
A duet it continues, a lamentation to oblivion
Assorted brain functions carry on like a clock keeping time
Not higher but primal try to carry on normality
The physical suffers as they inflict damage upon my tissues, organs and emotions
Practicality doesn't warrant candid thought
"Tell me about your childhood" Which one!!!
One battles to suppress the other and take its throne of light
It has no place in my mind in this irrelevant state of chaos
Then like a calm before a storm you could hear a pin drop in the void between my ears
They are neither here or there
The quantum moment of exchange
Everything becomes nothing
Nothing becomes everything
The dead emptiness for seconds as the transition takes place
As the vacuum of hopelessness once again ***** the lucid thoughts away
Tortuous like air from a dying man's lungs
Trying to cheat the ferry man
Not on his final journey, oh no that would be relief  and sometimes prayed for to a god I don't believe in
But my now daily fight to refrain from losing  myself into the abyss
I only focus on what I think I can balance between Rationality of day when I can maintain it
and screaming pain of turmoil at night
I live two lives split like continents, never touching again after they separated
Yet in binary to each others existence, a duet of spatial rage
It is the cold reality, my curse, my fate
Two individuals one body, arguing for supremacy
Both alert both sharp both denying the other audience
One during the waking hrs one during the slumber
A Duet of desperation as they battle to trade places
night for day, day for night
One a craftsman one a scholar
The church would call it possession
A physician a personality disorder
I call them my Daemons
Part of me yet all of me
You?
You may call us friends

You didn't see me as I passed: My *** !
My smile fell flat before you like a missed catch
Oh your busy going about your day I know
Places to go people to see but never me
It was as if I don't exist, oh gosh am I dead!
Then who's the voice inside my head
It matters not I guess until your in your next mess
When you once again plague my door with all your woes
I get it, I'm just a mat for you to wipe your shity feet
I can't wait again for that old treat
But next time when you come to call you'll find no one behind my door.

Cry not at the shadows of yesterday or morn the passing of an opportunity.
Instead look forward to the vision of tomorrow, unsullied by yesterday's mistakes.
Look at what a dawn brings not what the night tried to steal from you.
Speak not of what might have been or where the roads may take you.
Instead trust in what you feel, what you believe and be guided by raw instinct.
Only then will you be at peace with your own heart and open its doors to others.  

Y C Pturd 1987

Dark sky looms overhead across the Mersey
Like a blanket of grey candy floss
Creeps ever closer and the cold bite of evening comes
People walk without smiles to occupied to notice each other
In summer they would glance and smile, exchange words
Now the bite of the cold new year bows their heads in symmetry.
They sit on the bus pods in place shutting out all around
Trying to make the journey home in a shroud of invisibility
If you don't see or hear it doesn't happen does it?

Oh the excitement I just can't keep it in
Pick up a colleagues phone they shouldn't have left alone
So random text a stranger to share my inner glee
"I've killed your wife ! Cleaned up the blood the bodies in my trunk"
"I'll be round in half an hour to pick you up"
" I'll stop for gas on the way, I'm really running low"
"Bring a ***** and help me dig the hole"
"Remember next week dude you have to do mine"

I'm all out of fairydust my magic wand is broke
I'm not the samaritans I have problems all my own
99% of the time I'm there for everyone
But 1% you need to know I have to be alone
I don't have all the answers I listen very well
Tough love can be hard but you need that as well
All are worlds are different some seem dark and black
I'm often there to hold your hand and try to guide you back
But for a while you are on your own I'm taking some me time
Temporarily unavailable sort your own life out

I think you got it wrong
You say Argentina we say not
You say Malvenas we say Falkland Isles
You say stole in 1830 how that makes me smile
For in 1830 you where Portuguese Not Argentine
You had no republic till 1860s time
So from whom did you steal the country you live in ?
Your history tainted and arguments thin.
Your country is in tatters so why not have a war!
Hang on the Junta tried that before!!
You will look great on TV as you rally the cry
ON TO THE FALKLANDS SO MORE SONS CAN DIE!!
The battle is over now govern your own
The Falklands are British so please stay at home.

We all do it, its in our genes
Looking for something however far it seems
Chasing the rainbow the one of our dreams
It's end is a myth, it's never close by
But just like Columbus we try and we try
Chasing a rainbow like a dream or a face
Common sense leaves us as we go to that place
But what if the rainbow you chase has an end?
A finish, a place to begin
A dreams castle or even a tower
A place you can watch the rainbow not chase it

Chase it and find out

I guess if you stare at a problem long enough you can just end up stareing !
It won't go away, neither will it magically fix itself.
Ask is it your problem for a start?
If not does it need looking at
If not walk away for you have enough to stare at

There is no limit to ineptitude
No line for a fool to cross
No border no guards
Just their ability to be crass
An ability to hurt without knowledge
To destroy with no purpose
They know not of love
Only greed, avarice!
Wise men no longer lead !
Just fools with a hint of reason
But no worth
Hear me now, take heed
Tomorrow is yours and mine, not theirs
Do not let them steal it from your children
The future is unwritten
Don't let them erase your dreams

Odd how faces from a past defined by others now define you
Odd they see things, you in a light more bright more in focus
Cast aside from the chains of conformity the perfectness of delusion
The false image of what is expected
So onward to tomorrow and it's dawn

Odd how faces from a past defined by others now define you
Odd they see things, you in a light more bright more in focus
Cast aside from the chains of conformity the perfectness of delusion
The false image of what is expected
So onward to tomorrow and it's dawn

Is this now the time alone we dwell upon our past
Mull over with the precision of a watchmaker the mistakes we made
The back and forth of thoughts of what might have been
If only we took the leap of faith
If we followed our heart not our head
If we gave ourselves a chance
If we trusted that other
It is that time

We seem to run from all that we can't understand
Or label it as wrong, dismiss it as false
If we knew what was right, or what wasn't wrong
Would we be any better people or less of a person?
Fighting each day to just see through the fog
The fog that covers all, spares none.
A deep white veil that clouds the minds of the bigots
Gives pulpit to the zealots and a space to hide for the evil
So a new year a new day a new life, but for me?
Business as usual

I need time not a change
I need to sort things out
Sort my mind
Sort my soul
It isn't who I am
It's who I've become
Not who I want to be
I needed time
Not rebuke

Time heals
I think not
It's a phase
I think not
A crisis
I think not
Its gonna be ok
Shut the hell up its not

A Photon bumps from place to place
Inside the Suns core day after day

10,000 years if it's lucky
170,000 if it gets stuck

But comes the day it reaches the surface and begins its interstellar journey

It then takes 8 minutes and 19 seconds
If you're picky it's because of procession

A little more or a little less
Because we wobble for seasons sake

But once the photon ends its journey
It could light up just anything

A shaft of light upon a face
That took millennia to make

Or light up a yellow buttercup
Beneath the chin of my little one

Across time and space the photon raced
Just to do its best

For all we had before it came was
Nothing just
darkness

Come on you will be late. - Stop the voices
Hurry to the car - They will remember this
Don't forget your lunch - They never noticed me
We will finish the decorations tonight - I'll be a martyr
Must do some shopping - Locked and loaded
Groceries first - NOW while schools full
Hope she likes this - I hear them talking to me
Where are all the cops going - You said do it but I'm dead
What's happened -***
No no no no - ***
Our babies gone - ***

The thoughts of many nations now sit as one for so many children now are gone.
Brave souls who tried to stop him have also left an indelible mark.
WAKE UP proud land the war is done you don't need your streets awash with guns.
You don't need to see more innocents die.
You need today to turn the tide.

For days I have been silent
Not out of fear or shame but out of loss
The loss of the ability to love
The loss of who I was, the me inside the careing soul
That is lost
I try to re start what is lost
I try to feel but im dead, dead inside
No more love than an executioner
Less of a life than a zombie
I simply go through each day remoresful of what I can no longer be
I have no more words just shame
Begone

Anticipation, how much you think,
How do you think,
Do you think the same?
Anticipation, of everything or nothing.
Is it what we want or what we need?
Is it what makes us feel.
Anticipate or wish who knows what a day can bring.

Cough cough cough cough
And now I get it
A subtle play upon words
A sarcastic delivery
Only those privy heard
I shall be giving four tomorrow
In under breath tribute
Just to lighten the day
Cough cough cough cough
To those who deserve

A horses head in my bed who did I upset.
Was it what I did or didn't say to make her angry in such a way.
It isn't fun to wake that way, not a great start to the day.
I wonder if I'd been worse would it be mine and not the horse!

You reach the stage in life where you sit.
You just sit, and wonder.
You wonder how the hell you got there.
Where or which turn you took was the wrong or right.
If indeed any where?
Who is to say what's right what's wrong.
Indeed who wrote the rules?
An immaculate fool.
I can't change my yesterday's or arrange my tomorrow's.
I simply sit on the ride you call life and follow its turns.
Some like a pleasure ride some like the scariest at a theme park.
You don't know which it will be till the day starts.
Or if you will just sit till it's days end.

Floating in a world of change its hard to see what's real or vague.
Hard to know what truth looks like in all the faces seen at night.
In dresses short and heels so high you see an image not the light.
It's a competition to compete like birds that Coo and **** all compare.
Soils the image that you see a true portrait of the real.
A work in progress unfinished raw that needs to be formed a little more.

The wizards sleeve or otters pocket
A place to shove his pocket rocket
A few drinks more and start to fear!
He's  looking for your mouse's ear.
Such ugly words we doth describe the place where Mr ***** jibes
But ladies whit is just as bad when talking of your little lad
The meat and veg the one plus two the love handle mother gave to you.
So sausage or **** hammer or throb
The names are all the same
Trying to get in the clowns pocket the ultimate aim !
No xmass time is at the door and many a load delivered raw
Unwrapped no label just a jump to keep the festive cheer on course
Be careful if this tale is you
For come September you will be blue
if the CSA come after you!

The most confusing sound I never heard.
Marie A.
A confusing pronunciation in a combined word.
Marie A
Marie A ive never met a Marie A !
But suddenly the world would never neither same again.
Marie A say it loud and they think your crazy say it quiet and they think your raving.
Marie A just who the in the hell is..
Marie A
An invisible voice in a crazy world
Marie A
As mad as a child in a sweetie fair
Marie A Marie A Marie AAAAAAA

Oh hunter be hunted for who is the prey?
Did you stalk her to trap her ?
Get snared on your way.
Did she tease you to catch you an invisible foe.
As you can't see her will you ever know.
Oh hunter be hunted you are the pray!
But only if you continue to play in her game.
Did you try to be silent to cover your tracks?
She followed your scent and is close to your back.
Oh hunter recounted oh hunter beware she just plays mind games and she isn't there.
Oh hunter "Be" hunted for now it's despair !
Walk away from this madness before you are hurt
So hunter oh hunter decision to make, track now a picture or leave this lost place.

I have a mental picture.
It's what I dream of you.
I know I've never met you and know that you're not real.
Covered in a black veil, your outline showing through. Draped over the peak of your *******, to the revene between your thighs the more I try to focus my heart beats out of time.
I watch you touch your body, fingertips at first, moving slow and rhythmic your mind is somewhere else.
I move to kiss your lips the veil is In between, I run my hands  to yours and touch your inner being.
I feel my fingers wet your swollen lips invite me, your mouth is open wide.
You're beconing to kiss you and slide myself inside.
I pull the veil away my head between your thighs, I want to make you ****** and make you feel alive.
I feel your legs aside me, nylon clad In black, I want to be inside you, legs wrapped around my back.
Two become one as we ****** and writhe, our fingers entangled you stare into my eyes.
You push me to the side and roll ontop of me, you sense we are close where one from two will be.
You pin my arms down my fingers twisted tight riding there above me holding me inside.
You feel my body shaking as you begin to rise, then both of  us are lost and hold each other tight.
So if you are that woman with lips of ruby red I hope tonight in dreams you take me to your bed.

Running on empty tiered for sleep my brain is fried my limbs now creak.
I went to bed or so I thought to get some kip and recharge my bones.
Well that wasn't how it ended up and my mind was racing with well "just stuff".
The stuff you just cant explain a film! What was the actors name?
A song, a tune stuck in my head another hour of wasted bed.
Then to try and top others all, the ghost of a child throwing a ball prolongs the nite in another's hall.
No dreams no peace, I'm withered now the body aches but won't shut down.
Tomorrow I guess it's panda eyes and heavy lids, I could cry !
I just want sleep it all to stop and please dear brain
"WILL YOU JUST TURN OFF!"

There he goes again in the shadow of mine eyes,
just in periphery always out of sight.
He watches every moment and never leaves me be.
He's an unwelcome companion who won't leave me be.
He won't leave me be and  I can't hunt him down,
Or pay another to make him leave town.
You see you can't see him you don't know he's there,
he's my black dog not yours to share.
So only I see him and only sometimes when he wrestles and messes with parts of my mind.
I know you don't see him and that's ok but try to remember he won't go away.
You may have a black dog that no other can see.
Tell us about it and help us to see.

I kind of wonder what I want,
but only seem to know what I don't want.
I don't know what I need yet don't know my needs.
I'm lost in a sea of uncertainty awash with the waves of distrust.
Once in a while I see a beacon like a lighthouse in the dark only to be smashed upon the rocks.
I plan my demise.
The rope the tree the "I told you so".
When I see my children's face and can only be humbled to endure more pain.
You may think it's an exit a bridge to infinity.
It isn't its a road to oblivion.
Now I must sleep and hope for a better tomorrow.

I'm a drink driver !
I'm driving a bus.
It's the bus you wanna be on,
and going full ******.
I'm driving the Karma bus
So it's time to decide
if your a passenger,
or roadkill tonight.

A car crash or train wreck?
Just two souls that impact.
For a moment or for a day, they twist turn and play.
They go from nothing to blissful extreme neither knowing what It means.
But both just hope that it's for real and not a fleeting inbetween.
The dawn comes once or maybe twice and she looks and thinks "oh well he's nice" .
However the hormone machine in overdrive begins to frame and classify.
To old, to thin, to fat, to short and is that a mole or a ****** wart.
A few days more reality bites he's not the one to hold you tight.
He didn't do any one thing wrong other than the posing thong!
Move on, next please another guy for you to tease.
To show you wares, flutter your eyes and if he's good between your thighs.
We are all the same girl or boy we use each other as simply toys.
It's not were bad or any such it's simply that were damaged goods.
We pay each day for lessons learnt from others for whom we really yearned.
The dilemma now is simply this:-
Every other is a different kiss, a different taste another ego it's simply not "A Lover to go"
So of you pop and choose the next to be the filling in your  train wreck.

Is there a place lost emotion goes?
To talk to sorrow and loose its soul.
A place where love's favours, labours and graces lost.
A place where hearts are tossed to rot.
Or am I so cold I no longer see any feeling left in me.
No place for a spark or thought to grow.
No fertile flesh no inner glow.
Does it fade away or leak like blood ?
Or evaporate like cold breath does.
My words for once are not a muse I ask a favour of all of you.
Look around at every face, look in their eyes and see that place.
Not the false smile or shielded eyes look behind and peer inside!
Can you see their essence there or a dead bewildered broken stare.
Look closely now and take your time for you won't get a second chance.
For some it is there last chance to smile before depression takes their life. Decision made??
There or not its you who now decides their lot.
Be cruel? Condemn a soul today or smile and give them hope to stay......

Pardon me I didn't see you there.
No you didn't look.
I can't hear what you say!
Because your not listening.
I don't feel that way anymore.
You never did to begin with.
We need to talk.
No you need to say goodbye.
Try to think outside the box.
I only have a tin.
I just do what it says on the tin.
I thought you had a tin as well.

I lie alone. My thoughts are not here, they are with her.
I don't know what she thinks, I only know an insane void is in my heart. Tearing at my soul.
The torment of not knowing why claws at my very substance.
I imagine the DNA that binds me falling apart, decaying like spent particles in a dying sun.
Now? Nothing..

She flits through my mind all day, making me smile.
She fills my dreams at night like no other could.
Her face chokes my breath, a part of me yearns her embrace the touch of her hand the scent of her body.
But she is a naughty fairy and leaves no track,
no trace,
no trail

I wonder what you think of as you sleep, Bond ! Cloony or little me.
Whose Arms do you imagine hold you tight when your eyes close and hide the light.
Do you dream of passion or prose love or embrace?
Can you remember when dawn brings it's kiss.
As you shower and dress and sip your tea do you still think of me.
Off to work the radio on as you heard your favourite tune did you remember the night we where alone.
Did you get to work and meet your friends your mind still in the weekend.
Do you check your phone for a random text to see if I'm thinking still of the night you gave your all to me.
As you eat your roll and pass the time can you still feel me holding you tight?
530 now and your off home will I be there or thou be alone.
All day I've thought of nothing more than to kiss you as you arrived home..
To take your coat and kiss your lips and undress you with my fingertips.
Run my tongue across your neck and kiss your lips and make you shake.
But neither of us have ever kissed and we both dream and simple bliss.

How do you mend a damaged heart ?
Fractured, cracked or blown apart.
You can't use glue, string or tape
vinegar and brown paper was a fairy tale.

How do you mend a broken heart

You can't buy passion, love or butterflies.
They can only be delivered with a smile.
A smile that could bring nations to war
or make a gladiator kneel before.

How do you mend a broken heart

The same smile that could make a grown man weep
or tell bedtime stories to make a child sleep.
To look upon a smile and its holders eyes
can mend that heart if you let it try.

So how do you mend a broken heart

Not leased or lent,
borrowed or loaned,
only when given will it be whole..
When another holds all you are

Is how you mend a broken beart

Sometimes feel like screaming out Loud.
Well if a child can shurly I can too.
I don't need the stress you put me through.
Rhetoric digs to other folk, you hurt people, to you a joke.
You have no heart the devil took your soul and your brain isnt there at all.
You must sit at night and try to think of ways to hurt those you meet the next day
Well karma comes to all one day and to you it's dose will come what may.
I hope I'm there to see that day and see your soul fade away