I'm sorry I listend for so long to a voice that was never ever wrong. Who never could apologise and so I began to truly despise. Your every word, your sideways glance you gave no decent soul a chance. Self appointed, head of your state made by others who you berate. Your heart is dead your blood runs cold and all your friends kiss your back hole they couldn't kiss the one In front as that dried up a long time ago. So am I bitter or just twisted ? NO ! For me it was time to go. Your poison leeches into those who are good and eats away at their moral worth. I'd wish thou well but you have it all, you probably grew a set of ball's. Farewell adios and good bye from me. I'd rather f@@k a thorny tree!

Rain ran its way through my hair
Down the back of my neck like fingertips
Warm, gentle like the touch of a lover since passed.
All I had all I'd lost

Where was love where had it gone

I'd see the back of her head in every crowd
Yet she turned her  head she was gone
revealing the face of a stranger

Were was my love where had it gone

I would see a figure that reminded me of hers
Nirvana? No it wouldn't feel the same
But if I close my eyes tight enough I see stars,
then her face all the time

Where was my love where had it gone

So for a moment yes she's here but no,
she is the stranger and all I can feel
is the rain.
Down my neck like fingertips

Now cold, no more  just rain,
Just rain
Just rain
The moment lost.

Where oh where had my love gone

I was once told " If I fell over a lover I wouldn't notice ."  Then another day "
Your hearts a swinging brick!"
  To be berated and ridiculed for holding my love's close counsel.
Whilst watching the poison in others dye the cloth, the skin, nay the belligerent SOULS of those they saw happy and envied so that had to hurt.
They care not for my swinging brick nor a fragile heart of a woman now glued together with salty tears, it's life journey a ride they could never envisage nor take nor understand. Yet they judge.
They judge yet not fit to speak your name nor be in thy presence.
I morn not their passing nor degredate their views. I shall not waste pity upon them.
Why? Because I'm your friend and waste not my time upon harbingers

I knew where to find her, I simply couldn't look. My dark days wrestling with daemons had to be alone. No other could be in the battle I had to maintain a thread of clarity. But no matter how long or how hard I tried. No other moved  my very soul as she, yet eerily we never made one of our halves. Daydreaming and days weeks years pass and my heavy heart yearned more each day for her embrace. Now alone I know she didn't feel the churning inside that drives a soul to extremes. What now becomes of me.

I've never been to Paris in the spring summer or fall
Nor seen the Champs-Élysées blanketed in winters fresh snow
I've never seen it, Why? As I could never go alone

I seemed to miss the part where two lovers met and kissed or stood for 20 minuites in a passionate embrace
Then slowley walk together hand in hand in the rain, along the banks of the river of romance, the Siene

I'm not in the lovers photographs, beneath the Eiffel tower or the playful Quasimodo pose outside of Notre Dame
You won't see me in any of them, for I was never there, because while my lover travelled I stayed and built a home, a place we could call our own.

But bigger and better was never enough your greed for things was just to much then one day off you went as you didn't hear a word I'd said
To you by now I was simply staff and just like them I was sacked

But now alone I look at things and know what I can do
Change the way I look at life and why I never went with you
For Paris is for lovers and not just those who share the rent

So one day I'll go to Paris, even if I am alone
I shall walk the streets and see the sights that lovers call their own
Who knows If I'm the only one who needs to make that trip
Do others think of it the same in reverence and wish?
One day i'll go to gay Paris and a blank post card  I shall send
"From Paris" with a smiley face
"I learnt to love myself".....
A picture of the tower or a snap outside the Louvre
Unsigned
No senders address

From Paris
With Love

When I sit back and look at each day I ask myself this;
Did I need to be so harsh,
was I to soft gulable even or didn't it matter in any case.
For the wrong words however well ment,
or the right ones at the wrong Time, mean just the same
Nothing.
So choose your words carefully for once they are free of you
They can bring joy or pain
That's what it's all about.

You can't laugh all the time;
Nor everyday
But the one you miss should make you dream and smile.
The one your with should make you feel and be wanted.
The one you love should light your day.
The day can only be as long as the light that shines upon their face.
The night is as long as they hold you. The morning as sweet as their smile.
But you can't laugh all the time.
But you can carry a smile in your heart.

For you the band played on. The people clapped the light went up my friends they chat, I do not hear for she is not here.
But my thoughts aren't here. They are, they are there with you a woman I don't even know.
I wonder now more and more just how the world brought you to my door.
A twist of fate, she spoke to me.
A soft sweet voice that teases me, made me laugh and makes me see. A sultry whit that knows no bound an intellect I understand.
Now that is said is scary to, for are you me and am I you ?
Be it hours, not days or weeks until we take the time to meet. I hope we see the warmth inside that both of us have tried to find.
So now I write to you in rhyme and verse no others do. As inspiration for to write has to have a guiding light.
I never studied how to prose, my grammar may not be of cause. Yet I long to see you smiling face and touch you finger tips each day.
I want to see if the spark is there and look at you without a care.
I write to you and try to say how much you make me smile each day.
So omnipotent princess of light may you sleep softly at home tonight.
For somewhere many miles away a poetic fool dreams of you.
Starshine and moonbeam silly names we use to tease, but without the light from a caring star a moonbeam wouldn't shine at all.
So sleep and dream my earthly friend and wake to read this prose I send. For many years I have not written a single word or spoke aloud my soul be heard. Oh yes it does it scares me so. But we have to know.

How does she think, how does she feel, what does she see in me.

Open your door and smile please don't say a word so I may kiss you before you take a breath

Open your mind to sounds and songs you have never heard to verse that stirs emotion

May you listen may they move you


Open your eyes to places you have never seen, sights that fire your imagination

But I beg of you take me with you on your journey may I be your guide

Open your arms to embrace me. Take me to your breast so I may forget the day and long for the night. But hide from leaving you in the morn Yet miss you all the day

Open your heart let me walk in its halls share its closed rooms let us furnish them with dreams. Hang pictures that stir emotion on its walls  


Open your soul let us look out of its windows Sweep and mend its worn floors. Let us sit together upon them


Let us run in its realm burst open its shutters to warmth and light. Let us be together

In your eyes I see your warmth. Let me see your soul and your world


Look at what you see not what is there, sketch it for eternity, let me share those pictures

In your dreams take my hand lead me to your chamber,  blindfold me and undress me for I have no need of sight if you guide me

In your dreams make love to me alone. Let the world subside for I am yours alone


Let me know no other or be afraid of my emotions, let me be yours


In my dreams we two are entwined are one, melded together as ivy embraces and wraps around an oak, to reach for the warmth and light

Now close your eyes see me in your dreams


Feel inside your heart am I there


Listen in the night I whisper your name


Feel the breeze as I breathe on your neck


Let your heart race you skin tingle your body stiffen


It is surely me inside you


Now close your door turn its keys and lock me in your palace. Shut the world out for I have space for no other.

For days I wondered was she real?
Or was she just a fantasy
A woman who thought as I,
made me laugh so hard I'd cry
She joked with me as though she had known the inner workings of my soul
Each night I'd write before I'd sleep to make her smile after each sleep
I sat and looked across a table as she smiled and joked with me,
the person I had written to was real, now there she was in front of me
We walked and talked drank and ate, then like cinders it was late, she had to make an exit to the train for she had used up all her time
Now this is where the day it ended, oh how I wish that time was bended, for I kissed her sweet inviting  lips and held her in my finger tips
I'm not 16 or 21 but now for us the day is done. I know ill sleep at home tonight for she is my thoughts delight.
I wake tomorrow she's not here, for she is a muse that isn't real!

My whole life is numbers

Your whole life is numbers

It starts the moment you are born,
a size a weight.


They tell you have to have so many of this, so many of that


This milk, that milk.
This food, that food a balanced diet

You have to comply


This is the myth they would have us believe


But once past 12 the system leaves


It leaves the model nutritional path


Instead becomes a media plan


When a young girl diets to a size 10


The numbers they play with are nothing more


But some can't see they are just right!


OK correct a pretty sight


To some poor young minds it is so much more.


An 8 a 6 or maybe a 4


How far do you go to be just right, till it kills you?


Your born complete with all the parts


You are unique, special, a one off


Then as you grow your life it changes


As the numbers start to re arrange it


To look like her to walk like another


You sell your soul, fashion becomes your new mother.


Oh that dress only goes to 10 but I'm a 12 so diet again


That perfect body you had at birth


Is now elastic and shrinks to a skirt


You don’t eat the food you need


This new mother has you on your knees


Face in the bowl they sold you this


But its ok you’ve just been sick


You don’t have to eat the world; for a size 16 is an average girl


Look around at models galore, I wish they would smile a little more


So if someone says too fat, to thin what’s it really to do with him


If he wants twiggy or May West the go find her you total pest!


For I’ve seen the fat the tall the thin the small the black the yellow the pink


It’s just one thing that makes me smile


Yes it’s the woman who’s inside


So if you’re a guy and don’t agree
You will never deserved the woman your'e with