Death came today but he was early.
Right address, right person, wrong date.
Oh I understand he has a job to do but my father's not ready for you.
So shoulder thy sythe and make good your exit, because dad's not ready for this journey!

Fit to burst and burning inside
Thoughts of harm and despair all the time.

Reach out they say. If only I could.
Why tell the world I've had enough?

Read it on Facebook and Instagram too and twitter to make sure they all knew
But what's the point? None can help, when you're living in your mental hell.

So say nothing,
Smile,
Carry on,
They won't know until I'm gone.

I thought by now things would be better but it's like yesterday replays only darker and worsens.

Alone and cold, walking in shame as you didn't fit in to this human game

So some pills or a bridge, oh the sea looks inviting! Will it stop all this pain if I leave the world quietly?

I had the strangest dream last night.
I had died.
There I was cold as ice sat watching those gather at my graveside
Odd as I wanted cremation. But I digress.
Why was I cold?
Do the dead feel the cold?
So there I am in some half existance watching people turn up and suddenly a voice next to me says:
"Didn't expect you so soon"
There next to me was my grandmother.
As the people arrived she asked who they were and who did I expect to be there.
She even told me who I should have married. A bit late now but to be fair you said that when we were alive.
Then as the service started she got up and walked away.
"Are we not going in?" I asked.
She smiled and said no, those words aren't for you, they are for them.
Anything you should have heard they should have said already.
Anything you didn't say you can't now.
I then ask where do we go now?
She smiled and said "We? I'm going back to heaven. I think you're going somewhere else"
I woke up to the dogs paw trying to wake me to let him out to ***. Stood in my ****** behind the front door thinking why did I eat a ham and cheese sandwich before I went to bed.
I blame the cheese.

Lucy lived alone.
She had, now in her later years, become so used to being her own company, that the complexities of relationships seemed now just a distant memory to her.
There had been love in her life.  Oh such love! With the fire and intensity of Greek tragedy, but it was never to be long term or "The one."
She had grown to believe that was the stuff of fairy stories and Disney  and always happened to others not her.
Lucy had worked hard all her life, seldom saw her children now after years of trying to provide for them and she just plodded on doing the best she could each day. Her marriage long ago crumbled, no one's fault really they just drifted apart as the kids grew up.
Then the day came that rocked her world. Now alone, this wasn't something she could fix. The Dr was clear. Not years, not months, but weeks.
So she came upon a plan. She always fixed things so she wasn't going to leave the kids any burden.
Rather than leave it all for someone else to sort out she had an idea. She decided to have a giveaway day!
She posted in the local paper and social media.
"All free to good homes."
And how they came. Strangers mostly. The poor the greedy the needy and the curious. They took her life's possessions apart and made them part of theirs. Like vultures they had picked the bones leaving very little even her underwear found new homes.
She had given close friends the car and bigger things too. But by the end of that day, there was little left to be done but put the house up for sale. Her work was done. No burden to anyone. She was content.

As Lucy began closing the door, there at the gate, stood a young girl about 16, looking at her with big eyes and a soft smile. Now curious Lucy walked down the path towards her.
Her smile was beautiful, no it was captivating. Alas try as she might, Lucy couldn't place the girl asking "Can I help?"
In a soft voice she replied
"I saw the advertisement"
"I'm so sorry, it's all gone now." Lucy replied.
The girl smiled and said
"No, I brought you something Lucy"
She walked up the path meeting  half way. She asked Lucy to close her eyes tightly and put her hands out.
Lucy laughed and did what she bid her do. She knew her name.  It must be a prank one of her friends had put her up too.
Surprised, Lucy felt the girl's arms embrace all around her. She held her like no one ever had. Warmth and love Lucy had never experienced in her life. The girl whispered "This is for you Lucy." Lucy held her so tightly not wanting it to end.

The next day a neighbour found Lucy on the lawn. She was cold and lifeless, a gentle smile upon her face looking up into the sky. There was only one more thing he noticed. A single white feather on Lucy's chest. He reached out to pick it up and as he closed his finger it disappeared as though it had never been there.

She said live today like it's your last.
I didn't know she was a serial killer.
I was told she could light up a room. Arsonists are like that
Live for today.
Bailiffs love those kinds of people.
Seize the day. And that your honours is how my client comes to be before you today.