i feel like you don't trust me any more
or did you ever
or was it all a display
an act that you always put on
that's just for me no one else
sees what you say no one knows it is an act
you say i am wrong that your life is bad but you don't know my past
The pain that comes with it is just like a scarlet ribon
You joke about the things that bring back the pain but you just say sorry and keep on doing it
Maybe if you saw me brake down last year when i found out she almost killed her self how i didn't feel like i could partisapate in PE
All because i was thinking what if i was not her friend then she would have died
I was so happy that because of me she was alive but then i just cry and cry

i heard your voice
i panicked
but i guess you didn't see me
and again then once more
why is it that you can distract me even when your not around

it feels like only yesterday
that day two years ago
that you almost died
was that real
or a show
tell me please
you cross my mind
i wounder were you are
are you ok
or still broken
i need to know
but you are no were to be found

you didn't know
But i couldn't really anwser
The rest you need to find out
I am sorry but it's for the best
But you dont know it causes me to put my dreams to rest

You almost left me here all alone
Then you thought and relized
That i was a reson to  stay...
Then you tried again
Told me before hand got me worried
I told people that could help you
Now your mad
So i live with the fact we can never
truly be who we were again
this all happened about a year ago
although i help you threw a lot you
of witch you might ignore
but me i still remember and i don't think i can forget
like you did just because you shut me out but that is all in the past they all say they say that it is all okay now but if only they new the point of what you were going though that you just decided that you would just leave me pretending that you are okay but i know that deep down inside that you are not quite where you say you are i know this because i know you

why are there people out there who have to suffer?
while we joke about what they go though
they should  matter...
they do matter
regardless of what they go though
that one of peoples "jokes" could end a life
why joke when you could be there
no one wins prizes for being mean
all that is good that comes out of it is you feel good for a little while
when there is so much bad people could dye because of one comment
so please help others be happy
and not be a reason to  be unhappy

i think of you
the way you make me smile and laugh
it is amazing
but these moments pass to soon
then you start to fade from my mind
i guess that is what needs to happen
why when you feel like something is going good
does it all leave
i think of you but then you go
you just ignore me
why
sometimes i don't understand
your like the sun
when you are around you shine bright
then fade into the darkness of night
you are always on my mind
the first and last thoughts of the day

Why do I let myself fall for you
Time after Time
Rejection after rejection
I said I would stop
Then you guys ended
And I haven't been able to stop thinking about you

i know why you shut me out
but please dont make that a reason to leave this world
there is so much more than you or i know
more than just the years of middle and high school that you dare to live through
there is  more ,you are more
so please dont go not now
you still have so much more to see
more to be
more to love
more to live
your story shouldn't just end here

you make jokes that you say are funny but they are really hurt full
you make jokes about things that i stay up late and cry about
you have seen me fall apart because of this so why make the jokes
if you know what will happen like the storm before the lull
that recovering from this will be harder than before you said that you understood how i felt but you don't
so why make the joke

YOLO is a term used by many teens
Same as LOL, GTG, BRB, TTYL, TBH
These terms all mean something in their own special way
LOL meaning Laugh Out Loud
GTG meaning Got To Go
BRB meaning Be Right Back
TTYL meaning Talk To You Later
TBH meaning To Be Honest
Many adults are completely oblivious as to what their teens are talking about
Others think they know what their teens are talking about
When they really don't  
Such as LOL meaning Laugh Out Loud when some parents think it means Lots Of Love
This can take a very big, bad turn if you use them the wrong way

Mom: How was your day?
Daughter: My Friends Mom just died!
Mom: ***! LOL!
Daughter: MOM!!!!!
Mom: What?
Daughter: It's not funny that her mom died!!!
Mom: I never said it was.
Daughter: Then What did you mean?
Mom: I meant Lots Of Love
Daughter: OOOHHH

So you can see how there can be a little misconception when using these terms and some people may not know what they mean or how to use them

On the inside I am dying and
I can do anything about it
I have to live with it every single day of my life

i hear  your voice
the words of what you said replay
but you couldn't even say it to me
you told her
because she asked
i was going to talk to you
but i didn't
it's been a month
but i still can't talk to you
not without the urge to defend myself
you'll never know what you put me through

i know that your past isn't the brightest so why tell me
after i told you one thing you tell me everything
why
i never asked for it
you said its life than told me part of your story
but i can't even think to tell you mine
i want to ask you a question but i can't even type it
why am i afraid to talk to you
when you said you are here for me
but i am not sure i can be here for you
i am sorry but there are things in my past i don't want to reopen these wounds.
but i can try to help
with out getting these flash backs that happened in the past
people say if it happens in the past then let it go
but the past it all just comes running back to me again and again
so why bother to tell me
why?

there was I time when i first met you
I didn't realize my feelings for you
but now that i see you everyday at school i realize i do
i am so sorry if that up sets you but please just try to
understand if you can  
but when i am with you it seems like no one else is here
sorry if you don't understand i tried to make it so you would
but i don't always seceded in what i intend

i wasn't going to trust you again
but i feel like i should
its not all your fault
you wanted a reason
that one was there
i think it was to far
that he was why
that it was all fake
you made me feel insecure
because you didn't want to live
did you know it would hurt me?

Is the way we treat each other going to be good for society
Does it for fill the needs of others  
That we ignore
That some people say its a "fase"
Do we really need to be putting labes on others
because others can't acept them for who they are

I know now what happened but not fully why
i wish i knew why you had to go so soon  
of all the people why little you
you were to young and
gone way to soon
for no good
reason

tonight is not the night that you get to break me
you call me yours when i want nothing to do with you
you say its just once more but i have heard that four times before
or do this or everyone will see what i have seen and that she would be yours
but you weren't like this at first...
I TRUSTED YOU
not tonight you dont get to have me
and this time i mean it

ten years and one month ago you left me
i only wish i new how you died
weather or not it was him
i wish i knew it would make me so happy
but i guess i will never know what truly happened that day i still feel the pain
I wish you were here to see me
i wish i could see you just one more time
its been to long
i really need you
but whats done is done
and i have to live with that

my love for you started when I first saw you
The way your smile is engraved in my mind
I won't ever forget it
But your love is not mine
it belongs to the girl I introduced you to
it hurt to hear her say the words she loves you
because little does she know I do too

our joke started with a random message
and progressed into a half an hour conversation and a problem
our distance
I miss the way we talked that night
while we talked I was so ecstatic
when your name pops up on my screen I can't help but smile

if there was really truly someone else would you tell me
was that name you posted at 11:11 really random or is she really yours
im i really just of at the side
did you tell me its just to keep the hoes away that you let be there
to make me happy to make me believe that you really love me

dear boy i use to liked
i hope this finds you
i know that you have her
but i am still here it's been a while
i miss you
but us not talking is probably for the better
i am sorry if i am you question why you chose her
but it just happened.

Pay attention to the passion,
the passion is the most perfect suffering of all.
A passion is unflawed. a passion is idyllic,
a passion is pure, however.

The pick that's really strange,
Above all others is the pleasure.
Does the pleasure make you shiver?
does it?

Friendship is ever lasting.
ever lasting is friendship.
Does the friendship make you shiver?
does it?

there was this boy
he was cute
but not cocky
he was shy
but not too shy
and i fell for him
i thought he fell for me
but i was wrong
he talks to me
and when he does
it seems like i am the only girl
but he is taken
and
nothing will ever let me have him