A poem about the romanticizing of mental illnesses

When the silver makes it red
Which later turns to white
Paintings and writings on skin
Instead of a canvas
Make it a clear message
And not a piece of art

A rope is not a chain
Laid as jewelry around a neck
But a permanent idea
To a temporarily situation

The restricting voice in a head
Would by some be described as a best friend
A soulmate, a “she knows best”
However, that voice is not telling the truth

Shaking hands and panic attacks
Are not cute yet they are real
And black clouds are not even close
To aesthetics or what heaven even looks like

It’s not always the straight lines on an upper arm
Nor the blade, the bridge, the letter
A gun cannot shoot away the darkness in the lighten crowd
Or the trembling hands taking the pills
With a mind that loses itself

Mental illnesses have multiple faces
So, don’t get stuck with the idea
Of only one of them
Before it’s too late to save someone’s life
By changing your own perspective

‘How are you?’
A question people hear more from me,
then I hear from them.
Doubting whether it’s pure interest,
or a habit grown in our systems.
Not knowing which lie to tell,
or revealing the truth.
But not sure if they can handle reality.
The need to stop lying is huge,
but anxiety for their reactions makes me continue.|
Because the seize of this mess is so big,
the possibility of unexpected answers there.
Fear for loneliness gets me again so,
‘I am okay’ is the answer again.

From New Years resolutions till summer body goals
Losing weight is an idea stuck to the mind of too many people
The scale an enemy, a friend perhaps
Personal trainers and commercials on tv
Screaming that you look too fat, too heavy
That you need to be skinny in order to be beautiful
Advertisements all over the world
Trying to make sure that you don't eat unhealthy anymore
People start to think that only skinny people can be loved but
Not everyone is born to be skinny
There is a weight on our shoulders
Some will be buried under it, not able to stand strong anymore
Energy so low but the gym is our home
So the gap between the tighs and the seen muscles in the belly
May hopefully lead to someone telling them they are loved
When that not happens, overtraining and undereating is there
From anorexia till bulimia, eating disorders take over the minds
Finally the attention is there but not because they look beautiful
Now they are too skinny, sick in our head they are called
Ribs are shown to the outside world, a face smaller then at it's birth
Oversized sweaters are the only thing to wear in order to hide what's under there
Wanting to be loved is already out of their minds
All they want to do is survive in this world
Where we compliment each other when we lost some weight
But we never ask why they felt the need to do it

As the leaves change in colour
Falling down to the ground
So is the weather getting colder
And from storm till sun a season passes by

Then the frozen wind will hit faces of the ones
Who defy the cold outside
While some of others hide in the safe houses built to escape
The coldness in the outdoor air

So will the blue sky show itself a little bit earlier
And a little bit longer as the days turn by
Day by day it will take some more time
Till the darkness will fall again

And so we come to the fourth time a year
Where everything and everyone is at it's fullest
From swimming to resting to having fun outside
Tanned skins and happy feelings are seen everywhere

This is how a year passed by
With new made memories and olf forgotten ones
And as the seasons will pass
We will fall and stand up through every season long

Maybe it’s the stranger on the streets
Smiling to you as you walk by
Or your friend sending you a random reminder
About how much they love you
Perhaps it’s a tweet from someone on the internet
And you feel this relief from head to toe
A burden falls of your shoulders
Because you finally believe
That things will be okay
On some days it’s yourself
Looking in the mirror, tracing your outlines
Watching the curves your mom gave to you at birth
Your breath filling and leaving your body again
Leaving oxygen behind
To keep you alive
A heartbeat every second
Up and down your chest
And you remember yourself that despite it all
You are still here
On others it will be the silence
Comforting with nothing but breathing air and lots of time
Thoughts of reflection and thoughts of fear
Thinking about your goals, your needs
What you want to do in life
Where you see yourself next year
But for now, it’s just no sound and still it can be so loud
Sometimes you fall in love
With someone, with life, with yourself
And other times you fall out of it again
Just to get reminded of the fact
That there will be another love around the corner
Closer than you expect
Further than it sometimes seems
But always in your heart
And of those around you
Love comes in different ways
You might not always expect it
Nor want it, or thinking you deserve it
But take it, because you do

Deep dark red
Thick flowing blood
Silver creates a red flood
Which later turns to white
Black are the minds
Grey are the clouds
White the faces
No words from the mouths
Of the ones
That created
Sharp edged lines
Permanent marks
Dark are the brains
With temporary thoughts
An arm, a leg, foot, wrist, thigh
An urge comes in, out goes a sigh
‘Cause they’re sick of lying
Tired of trying to pretend
They’re alright
Hidden memories
Making a mess
Less energy, more fear
Please don’t start with it, my dear

'How many likes does my life get?
A question we ask ourselves
On a daily base
The youth of today is obsessed with numbers
From followers till likes
Posting pictures and captions
We do everything for the perfect image
Bad days can't be shared and
Smiles are obligated on every human photo
Hiding behind filters and frames
Friends are made but they aren't always real but
Long distance relationships are made and
Forever friendships are hold on to through the phone

It seems to be a bad thing
When we are on our phones in public situations but
Maybe the question needs to be asked
Why are we on our phones?
The change internet caused is big
Where one world opened, another closed

Some people are getting anxious with the idea
Of doing nothing while waiting
They get nervous of just standing there
Questioning theirselves what other people might think about them
So they scroll through their social media
Looking busy with something important
To just not get the spotlight in the darken crowd

Our thumb has made more miles
Then our feet already did
Comparing each with one another
Who looks prettier, who has the greatest life
Isn't it all a lie
Why are we doing this
Don't we know then that
Pictures never tell the whole story

Some of others are locked in the real world
Strangers on the internet can be our bestfriends too because
Not knowing each other is sometimes better
Than knowing them too well

Mental states and diseases are hidden
From crying till screaming
Emotions are locked away
Just to keep the social flow going
Life is like photograpy
We develop from the negatives
Judgements are so present
Opinions already there

Where did we learn to judge
One anothers bodies like this
Who was it that thaught us
That it's okay to be this mean
I mean, this is a hard world

In a group of people
While everyone is on their phone
Where is the connection
Why did we went so far
What makes the real word so hard
That we so often need to escape
People become sick of lying
Tired of trying to pretend
That they are alright
The pressure of being good enough
Of always being available
Is so hard, too hard maybe
Can't we just shut it off sometimes?

And whenever you think that you are not good enough
That the pressure is too much
I am going to tell you a secret
You don't have to believe
Every single thought
That pops up in your head
Instead, make your own story
Because it will be a bestseller