They showed me
yes I can see
You are entrapped
lost as can be

Old patterns create the habit
the habit becomes the motive
enslaved by masterful mind games
renders you captive

Hidden amongst the living
deep inside this grave
buried between sorrow
and the will to stay alive

The lies for sale are cheap
you buy them by the handful
gorging on self imposed misery
and choking on every mouthful

A life in aggressive disarray
faith quickly fading away
while impulse steals reality
and Jones controls the day

You and I
walk together
beholden to the moonlight
to day's light and days late
destined
to remain here
though not forever

I with you
and you with me
intertwined
with complicated ties
holding us together
in threads
Though not forever

You and I
skin deep
layered with lifetimes
of epidermal decay
visceral wounds
neither one will confess
though not forever

We walk together
Separating
you and I
I with you
seeking connectedness
knowing the truth of our existence
though not entirely

I witnessed magic today
Saw them gather round
as sparkles of light
fell down
from beyond this realm
and intentions gave way
from a thousand miles away

Body glistening
from the inside out
plugged in to source
as above so below
I witnessed your soul
embrace the angel's way
from a thousand miles away

I felt deeply
this state of being
you, vibrant and gleaming
and at Love's command
they took your hand
and miracles gave way
from a thousand miles away

Can You see me?
Glistening with your morning dew
Passionately but peacefully
discovering the likeness of me
In You

Can You embrace me?
The all of me
the unacceptable
the unruly
the suspicious and untrue me
While I chase the knowingness of You
within me

Will You connect to me?
The culmination
of intricate pieces
perfectly created to define
that which is me
of You

Will You come for me?
The lost yet hopeful one
who denies her self-love
and soulful divinity
who won't ever give up
the quest for truth
and the journey back to You
to find Us all

I want to be uplifted
by the rays of the rising sun
but I am sinking
mangled
in twisted debris
drowning at the bottom
of this raging river

Uplift me

I want to be encapsulated
By endless skies
Free to dream
But I hide
From the light
Self-imprisoned
in this nightmare
On the dark side of the moon

Come find me

I want to walk with the courage of a lion
Resilient and brave
Instead I am crippled
weakened by memories
of a wounded child
The past my story
This victim my crutch

Walk with me

I want to drift peacefully
into sweet slumber
As the soft melody of the lone lark
tweets outside my window
Instead I lay wide-eyed
and bewildered
attacked by vultures
inside my head

*Guide me

You & I exist
In colourful hues
Pink trickles in
With each tender kiss
Magenta blushes
As desires rise
From atop the peak
Ruby red soars in
To a sea of utter bliss

Orange beckons a shift
As we linger longer
between white's sheets
And hunger's strike ends
Yellow steps in
With a cheerful grin
To give approval
To our playful
love-in

The depths of blue
take hold
as trust surrounds
us both
Purple sets the stage
For romance to swoon
While mystery and magic
Create our afternoon

Green is the monster
Who rears his ugly head
In the grips of an argument
We take jealousy to bed
Attacking with fear
As black feeds off green
So love can't intervene

But alas, not all
Has faded away
As pink trickles in
With a tender kiss
And in colourful hues
you and I still exist

She reflects radiance
When her heart bled sorrow
She is the epitome of brilliance
Though her insides felt hollow

She appears to be calm
In the midst of all storms
Though her mind rapidly races
And anxiety swarms

She knows the solutions
To the problems I share
Though her own life in pieces
Was more than she could bear

She extends a loving smile
To everyone she greets
Though love once rejected her
And she lived with defeat

She holds on to hope
In times of despair
Though struggle was endless
And no one seemed to care

She weaves her story
Through intricate lace
And embraces each moment
With beauty and grace

There's love in the air today
I felt it at dawn
As the moonlight gently
Kissed my face
And I lay peacefully
Within the newness of the morn
I felt it at sunrise
As her golden rays
Gently kissed my face
And I lay hopeful
Within the light of day
I felt it when our eyes met
As you gently and tenderly
Kissed my lips
And I lay in love
Within the depths of you

Déjà vu directs us
As the ghostwriter depicts us
Beholden to their feelings
The movie keeps us reeling

Brought to familiar places
With familiar looking faces
Queasy churns my stomach
While logic runs amuck

I know she has connections
To the writer of the scenes
Recalling intimate details
Before they hit the screen

Memories I can't recall
Though a knowingness of it all
Emerging in fragmented facts
The mind unleashed, extracts

It is morning
Still the nighttime
blankets the translucent dew
I awoke missing you
Your scent
your flowing, midnight hair
The way you smoked your cigarettes and your penetrating stare
I miss your smile
As you greeted me
Your hugs so encompassing
When we had to say goodbye
I miss your voice
Telling me not to forget
I miss the circumstances
In which we met
I miss your love
...
I don't miss
the tragic memory
October 22
The day I texted you
My gut saying, she's walked away
Her brother's response
You had died that day
The guilt
That's still ripping me apart
Missed opportunities
to express
what you truly meant
To me
I don't miss
how I wasn't there
For you
And the pain I caused
So lost in my own righteousness
I couldn't hit pause
I don't miss regret
...
It is morning
Still the moonlight
Highlights
These open wounds
I lie here still longing
For you
Lost in this tragedy
And the day you left me
Oh how I miss you

This passion that lingers
The excitability of your fingers
Intricate pages of memoirs
Seep intuitively out of your pores

Drop by creative drop
The words they never stop
Clinging to the waiting page
Like a thespian to the stage

This beating in your chest
Emotions aching to be expressed
As you let go of the rhymes
Ecstasy seeps into your pleasured mind

I want to be amongst
The heather on the hillside
Soaking up the silence
And slow dancing in warm
waves of playful winds
I will feed the bees
And giggle as they tickle
my carmine petals
I will know the sun
In intimate ways
As she seduces me
with her golden rays
I will be satiated
By the heavens above
As every single drop of rain
showers me with love
I will be consumed
by the richness of the soil
As it nourishes my delicate roots
I will be an extra
In the acts of twilight
While radiant moon beams
steal the night
But I need not contemplate
Whether the time is right
To wither and fade away

Can I undress this torment
With a lingering, sultry intent?
****** her till she's lusted
Run like hell once I am naked

Turning on my witty charm
I take her swiftly by the arm
Looking deep into those eyes
Until she reveals every filthy lie

I will come across as flirty
Lick my lips while talking *****
A tongue lashing may do it
If not I'll storm the cockpit

I'm not afraid to turn this trick
In order to be free of this
Some may call me cheap
Others know I go too deep

Consumer advertising
To politically advising
This world is overwhelming
I'll buy a do-over if you're selling?

Organic or GMO
Import vs locally grown
Is impeachment on the table?
Broken laws beat mentally unstable

Build a wall vs a helping hand
Acceptance vs Muslim bans
Deflate your country's dollar
vs an economic leader

Opinions vs Feelings
Healthcare system vs blackmarket dealings
Deregulation
All equal a crumbling nation

I don't typically spend my time
Getting lost in sludge & slime
With humanity at stake
Can't help but commiserate

It is 5:30am
Back to work I go, again
Same structured routine
Expecting nothing to change

Patiently I wait
Upon the transit platform
A lonely pigeon's cooing
Amidst a darker foreground

I listen as the notes
Softly leave her tiny throat
This unassuming melody
Becomes my soul's remedy

I smile
Lost within her beauty
I am gone
Whispers of love embrace me
As she welcomes in the dawn

Neville said,
"A change of feeling
is a change of destiny"
Today it set me free

The endless chatter
is vibrating
at impeccable speed
a scavenger
pecking ravenously
its razor sharp beak
rapidly devouring
this encrypted brain
one synapse
at a time
my eyes wide open
in terror
as I bleed
wasteful thoughts
that selfishly steal
this precious night

You’ve followed me for far too long
Your hold on me is far too strong
Engrained in me at far too young
Meshed with my psyche, we appear as one

The parasitic tendencies are hidden so well
I keep you well-nourished in this living hell
If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have survived
I’ve bought into your truth and kept you alive

You hide in the depths just waiting to strike
Black cloak and dagger in broad daylight
You’re an expert at killing the fight within
You go by the name Victim and always win

You’ve worn me so well for so many years
Stricken me with grief and brought me to tears
Never out of style and first in your class
Owning the runway, can’t compete with your sass

You fit just like a glove over nail bitten fingers
Lost in despair as your deception lingers
I want to be free of the stories you sell
But I just can’t undress as I wear you so well

It came to me in silence
A reflective state of being
This epiphany has uncovered
Deeper wounds in need of healing

I choose to sit within this
Ever growing pile of ****
As unbearable as the stench may be
I can't escape its filthy grip

Chained to perceptiveness
Heavy burdens hold the key
To locks I am imprisoned
In the depths of misery

Contained within the boundaries
And the limits of my mind
I choose to glorify the victim
And the need to be confined

Death is slouching towards me
from the corners of the room
The appearance of truth
Revels in my impending doom

You exhale as I hold my breathe
As blackness claims the space
You gloat in selfish victory
While betrayal ingests my face

I remember like it was yesterday
You were a giant back then
Love was not inside your heart
As you wore the devil's grin

Curled in fetal positions
As fear tightened its grip
I cover my ears from the screaming
And hide my quivering lips

Nurtured is a foreign word
Forty years I've lived without
Starved of love & tenderness
I sit in blame & self doubt

A product of dysfunction
On the same destructive path
A child once filled with innocence
Has become the model's *wrath

Some will read no further
As it hits too close to home
Reflecting the mirrors image
To a face that's not their own

I sift through flimsy ashes
Of a charred and fiery past
I've burned some meaningful bridges
Chasing the spark I'll never grasp

As I walk along this desert plain
With soot beneath my feet
To the edge of flowing waters
Sweet surrender I hope to greet

There's debris below the surface
In an ocean full of fear
It holds the key to my freedom
Through murky waters I must steer

I seek to finally uncover
The truth that’s deeply hidden
Still the shadows and the darkness
Leave me sick; I am disease-ridden

In a place of utter misfortune
My mind is not at ease
The past she leaves me burdened
Unable to truly grieve

Crocked are the pathways
Through this journey I do stumble
Over judgments and harsh labels
Wrapped in constant turmoil

They say adversity gives birth to wisdom
An open heart will set me free
Perhaps I lack in vulnerability
Or am just too blind to see

Your footprints washed off
the shore today
It was just like you to go away
I never agreed to you leaving me
Drifting in oceans beneath the sea

You know me
I won't ask why
You spread your wings
To soar the endless skies

As you dance with sparkles
Beyond the stars
I hold dear the memories
And release the scars

Negative thoughts
Lavish with shame
Guilt has my number
Calls me by name

My mind the gatherer
Of failure and faults
Taking pride in her kingdom
She's the queen of assault

With fear by her side
And esteem feeling low
She brings me to my knees
With a single blow

Judgement steps in
When I'm down and out
Her mirror reflects
my pain and self doubt

Worry's a warrior
Not an ally of mine
Slow and methodical
She will **** me over time

Love lost is a fated death to the enamoured heart

I am the ragged rock
Amidst a seamless shore
The undercurrent
Of the ocean's floor

I am the whistling
As the wind sings through the trees
I am the sorrow
As true love leaves

I am the blinding white
Of a winter's snow
The piercing fright
Of a lion's roar

I am a flickering ember
Of a burning bush
The sweet surrender
Of a lover's touch

I am the night fall
On a sunset strip
The utter shame
Of a controlling grip

I am the last word
In a senseless quarrel
The painful regret
As I beg, steal & borrow

I am the fragrant scent
Of roses in bloom
The grim reaper
Of my impending doom

I am the galactic dust
Of this cosmic realm
The devil's muse
Of this living hell

I am the light at the end
Of this twisted tunnel
The timeless treasure
In a pile of rubble

I am the nothingness
Of the limited whole
I am the home
Within this wandering soul

Brittle are the bones
Stricken with the dis ease
Of the mind
So as the desolate land
Encompass the bitter winds

Hardened are the hearts
Beating with the fear
Of exclusion
Bait to the darkness
Flock the evil tribes

Blind are the eyes
Impaired by the vision
Of I versus we
As the journey of the soul
Is separate to the feat

Wicked is the weakness
That embodies us all
Of inability
Like death to the flesh
In a ground covered hole

The child
Uncovered deep inside
She cries
Layers of open wounds
Fester beneath
Blanketed memories kept
HIDDEN

A mother
Lost in circumstance
Fear attacks love at all cost
She won’t compromise
Her need for security
Over the needs of the child
INSIDE

I am the mother
I am the child
Same vision
Two views
I am the parasite
I am the product
THE UGLY TRUTH

Years of torture
Without knowing why
Answers bubble to the surface
And down I spiral
Through the rabbit's hole
In darkness and despair
I SEEK TO FIND

There I am
She is what they see
Through eyes like mine
As the child they be
Fear induced patterns
Without security without
LOVE

In two dead eyes she gazes
reflecting back the ugly stranger
whose scars and inner bruising’s
cast the essence of a failure

She quickly turns the lights to black
and glares back at the image
but even in the dead of night
she sees the naked hostage

Bound and gagged by cruelty
With no tools to set her free
She begs and pleads the stranger
Let her go just let her be

In denial of self-infliction
and a prisoner of her past
she can’t escape the profile
that the mirror’s reflection casts

Salt rocks and lollipops
Gemstones and Zen
Spellbinding wizards
and dragons that eat men

Lightworkers and Indigos
Heart chakra crown
Don’t block kundalini
you’ll surely break down

With Ohm in the house
like it or not
Theta beats Beta
No judgement or thought

Malas and Mantras
to the Seat of the Soul
dissecting wavelengths
to uncover the whole

Ankhs and crosses
With fire and white light
Circle of crystals
bring spirit into sight

Mystics & healers
heed the cosmic call
extend love to our planet
to save us all

She’s crying on the stairs again
it may be the loneliness
I don’t ever ask
I know she won’t answer

She keeps to herself these days
sleep her sanctuary
I don’t often wake her
I think she needs the rest

Most days I feel guilty
she needs more than I give
and I often ponder
how much longer will she live

Her mom left on August 8th
Heaven called her home again
she weeps in silence
in the still of night, alone again

I can’t help but wonder
what words do escape
as her lips gentle quiver
and tears soak her face

I am in a prison
cells overflowing with rage
penetrating so deep
within me
now

This anger is all consuming
energy is so draining
blood is boiling
over it
peaks

Spewing, sputtering hate and evil
eyes wide open vessels
popping the top
hat off
kilter

Cannot stop to see straight
jacket is on now
And then I
cry out
loud

Old patterns, new changes
Idle hands, empty pages
Sleepless nights, days apart
Tattered sheets, broken hearts

Empty promises, Full denial
Forgive me, Betray you
Seeing red, Feeling blue
Depression, Breakthrough

Blind love, uncovered sorrow
Dessert tray, eating crow
Straight ahead, circle back
See light, fade to black

Open road, abandoned trail
Successes, Epic fails
Repeating patterns, lessons learned
Extending faith, Bridges burned

Inside trickles of time and distant pasts
I’ve walked this crooked path
Each long and gnarly trail
Unearth hidden truths within the shale

Oceans unleashing tyranny
Expose the mangled mind
Rushing rivers cleanse swiftly
Into the lake of clarity to transform me

Raindrops create the ripples
Distorting our perfect reflection
Shifting the eyes of perception
For the sake of Evolution

We seek to conquer the Mountain
Before we find the ground
Forgetting the richness within the soil
Is the foundation that makes her whole

As I am this crooked path
The trickles of time and recent past
I take flight as the wind is free
And softly whisper to me;

You are the crash within each wave
The ripple inside each drop of rain
You are each question within your doubting
And the richest soil within the mountain

As dawn breaks
On the darkest skyline
Oceans of feeling
Flood this mind

I’m churning against
The endless sea of life
Crashing wave after wave
Resistant to change

Fear the devil’s muse
Precious moments
Lost in vain
To an inner battlefield

Never ending E motion
Direction has no meaning
Expanding vastness
Confuse this mind

The heavens unfold
Saturating drops of wisdom
That cannot soak
This impenetrable mind

Lessons surround me
Like sharks to their prey
I fall victim inside
This narrow mind

How do you navigate
The endless sea of life
When fog engulfs the horizon
Inside this gloomy mind?

You know the place
Where you hide
Truth disguised
Somewhere beneath
Drama and bravado


Where deception is perception
In the eyes of all you meet
Somewhere beneath
Apathy and imperfection


Where you keep those secrets
***** and enslaved
Somewhere beneath
Guilt and shame


Where you layer the lies
You told and were told
Somewhere beneath
Justification and betrayal


Where fear prevails
In the pit of your stomach
Somewhere beneath
Loathing and rage


Where self-doubt debates
In mindless chatter
Somewhere beneath
Arrogance and swagger


Where you acknowledge its place
Coddle and groom the space
Somewhere beneath falling from grace
You know the place

I can’t escape the tides
That wash away the silence
As each grain tumbles
With every crashing wave
I close in on the shore

The truth claims my voice
Epiphanies envelope my mind
Like gale force winds
Churning the endless sea
I close in on the shore

Through the eye of the storm
I am reborn
Of strength and of courage
With a new found vision
I close in on the shore

I have awakened to the Cosmic call
Every ripple affect a download
Each wave removing debris
With the embodiment that is me
I rest upon the shore

Remember the time
You were sixteen and I was twenty-one
The inappropriate advancement
You made toward me
And I was shocked

Remember the time
You mentioned his name
How I betrayed the family
Was an embarrassment
And I cried

Remember the time
You reminded me
Of the razor blades
My trickles of blood
And how they stained you

Remember the time
You said I was a disgrace
And how they would talk
Behind my back
And you would feel ashamed

Remember the time
You took her word over mine
Drawing the line between us
You chose her over me
And I was excluded

Remember the time
You said I hurt her
And she needed to be
Protected from me
And I was to blame

Remember the time
You were at the show
With them
You acted like I didn't exist
And I cried

Remember the time
You got high with my son
After you knew his addiction
I asked you to stop
And you said it was my fault

Remember the time
You were seven
Had an accident walking home
She made fun of your misfortune
And I took care of you

Remember the time
You got the record deal
Were on the road
Struggling to make your claim
And I supported you

Remember the time
You confided in me
Shared your own
Struggles with addiction
And I listened

Remember the time
You called me still high
Crying your bad behaviour
Had lost your true love
And I consoled you

Remember the time
You tried
To get your life back on track
We talked a lot
And I counselled you

Remember the time
You lashed out at me again
When I shared my feelings
I was wrong to trust you
And I walked away for good

I took a page
Straight out of your book
It was torn, frayed, shapeless
Wreaking of empty promises

I took a page
Straightened out the creases
It was incongruent, pliable, shameful
Weakened by exaggerated script

I took a page
And cast it straight back
It was misleading, trite, shabby
Words soiled in enabling deceit

I took a page
Straight from humility
It was embracing, modest, shameless
Welcoming unity with exceptional grace

I took your page
And read between the lines
It was intricate, rooted , shackled
Waiting to be implied

Wisdom whispers
In the aftermath
As calm greets the storm
And anger takes its seat

Wisdom whispers
In the dead of night
As I cross against a flashing light
And moonlight fills my eyes

Wisdom whispers
In the reflection
As time stands still
And my soul begins to speak

Wisdom whispers
In the break of dawn
As rays give birth to awareness
And adversity has lost its place

My words may be simplistic
Lacking rhythm, flow and ease
But the depth of my emotion
Runs deeper
Than you think

As I process your silence
And what
It truly means
Sadness fills this empty page
While rage begins to fade

The love you lost between us
Isn’t written on your face
It hides behind the masks
You wear
They keep you feeling safe

While safety has its purpose
When you step into the street
Disguising fear
With apathy
Will strike you to your knees

You preach about acceptance
Do you even know what it means?
It’s not about the false pretense
Or silent discrimination

It lacks the room for ego
Or to justify your authority
Acceptance dignifies the obligation
To brand us all as equal

It holds no place for gossip
With a friend or sibling too
Breeders of hate can’t collaborate
When acceptance owns the room

You pick apart my perfections
With your elusive expectations
Acceptance perfects the blemish
By upholding my existence

The expression of my feelings
Or the thoughts that I may have
Aren’t there for you to critique upon
Or use for future extortion

You may just throw this back at me
To practice what I preach
I can say I’m not always accepting
But at least you’re all aware  

So do not profess
To fully accept
All that encompasses Me
When judgment is all you bear

You many not like
A word I write
So let me make it
clear

I write to absolve
My torment of
The darkness
That ensues

To free this love
Satiate the mind
From which I can
Express

Not to see
How many hearts
I get
Or build my self esteem

Its not about my ego
Or the intellect I bring
Its passion, pain and prescription
That dance the tune I sing

Fair weathered friends
Passé at best
I seek to just be
Free

A challenge invoking miracles
You talk about the Angels
With that crooked
sideways grin

Eyes that lure you closer
As *******
leaves your sultry lips
You have them hook, line and sinker

You promise to bring peace
And the biggest of all prizes
Eradicate the fear inside
And **** the lies that bind us

You brand yourself a healer
I guess I'll give you that
Not the only hat you wear so well
The "biz" is where it's at

You seal the deal
With love and hope
Many buy your cryptic lies
Desperate to be saved

Once you are In
The magic begins
Mystic tinted glasses
Fit you like a glove

Found a leak in your container
Foundation is more like it
Universal truth seeps through
Exposing your hidden agenda

Many eyes will open to
The deceptions of your craft
The witch that stirs the cauldron
Needs to take a cleansing bath

In light of this wakeful hour
the newly breaking dawn acknowledge the beasts
of burden inside

conspiring, their taunting jabs
pierce the fractured mind
unleashing the raging
fear inside

The choice is yours
A warrior stance
Golden chainmail
unyielding conviction

Inside illusions
amidst the darkness
The parasites penetrate
your amnesiac corpse

Unconsciousness breeds
obscurity as
Ignorance leads the disease
And apathy opposes interest
While judgement honours hate
And entitlement claims the mind

Encrypted codes lie dormant
Until the light bleeds in
A catalyst for the memory
Of universal motive

The time to eradicate fear is now
Employ, perceive and be Love;  
sit with compassion
Reflect around empathy
embrace kindness
breathe with acceptance

A peaceful heart
In the eye of the storm
breaks the cycle of fear
And so it begins again

Loss. Of power and of possessions loss of precious people and of perfection loss of puberty and of innocence, loss of ideology and of ignorance loss of justice and of complacency. Loss Of Self.

Fear. Of forgiveness and of loathing of differences and of defiance fear of ignorance and of betrayals fear of existence and of existing. Fear Of Fear Itself.

Acceptance. Of others and of shortcomings and of greed and wealth acceptance of the truth behind the lies and of the knowledge we can't always change what we think is what's for the best acceptance of our highest self and to the vibrations of the universe that connects each one to another and another and another. Acceptance Of The Whole.

Surrender. To grace to beauty to transformation to love and to the upheaval of humanity Surrender to the unknown to the reuniting and the reintroduction to self Surrender to God and to unconditional LOVE
Surrender to awakening and to wholeness and to the perfection of imperfections. Surrender. To remember the freedom that so joyously filled your soul before you were given birth to this unconscious place called Life. Surrender To Become.

A sacred space void of quiet
My mind embracing creative riots
Limitless possibilities engulfed in limits
I seek what has been given

The sound of my pulse quickens my heart
Interpretations become like abstract art
The victim of my inner critic torn apart
I seek what has been given

No voice of reason to keep me sane
Lost in worry as I drown in shame
There’s no one here only myself to blame
I seek what has been given

A thousand winds constrain me here
Trapped inside my vision unclear
In need of a cane as I walk with fear
I seek what has been given

A word without letters, a book without pages
My self realized imprisoned in cages
I hold the key to the truth and watch as it closes
I seek what has been given

They say answers lie in between the spaces
Beyond the terror of never-ending mazes
The time has come for making changes
I seek what has been given

In this muddy puddle for which I cannot see
Lies a sea of wonderment just waiting for me
Lift the fold, see the light just turn the key
And find what has been given

You whisper softly into my ear
From slumbers grip I lose this fear
The dawn she greets me I feel you near
Until she rises, the world awaits

Taking pleasure in this nakedness
It is all of you I want to caress
Breathing in all of your best
Until she rises, the world awaits

Can’t bear to take my eyes off of you
Your transformation, art in Hues
A moment away your essence I’d lose
Until she rises, the world awaits

This love affair has just begun
Wrapped within your safe haven
I’m so in love I’ve found the one
Until she rises, the world awaits

With bitter sweetness I watch you fall
Until the morn when I hear you call
The world around grows dark and small
Until she rises, the world awaits

Your power ignites my hopes and dreams
Shining on simplistic, diminishing extremes
Your mystery, your beauty; the source of all things
As she rises, the world elevates