Blindsided by the thoughts inside
Sucker punched by ****** lies
A hostage taken as a child
To a life in which chaos resides

I want to know just what she said
To shut me down and mangle my head
Cold-blooded ****** without bloodshed
From a life in which chaos resides

Doubt oozes in like c02
There’s damage here I can’t undo
Or am I making all this up, perhaps it is untrue?
From a life in which chaos resides

Don’t minimize with, you did your best
There’s two more here with wounds abscessed
If I could, I would reinvest
From a life in which chaos resides

The world around me closes in
My mind is racing, where to begin
A daily battle I can’t seem to win
From a life in which chaos resides

To escape this dungeon I need the key
I pray they finally hear my plea
And release my soul and set me free
From a life in which chaos resides

Will it ever become clear?
The answers to relieve my fears
Instilling hope to persevere
To a life in which chaos subsides

Sand escapes the hourglass plane
Each grain a thought inside my brain
I seek what I cannot sustain
As Time she leaves me wandering

Imprisoned in my ego mind
This space my keeper I am confined
Eyes wide open yet I am blind
As Time she leaves me wandering

Each step I take upon this path
I face the devil and battle his wrath
Locked in the mind of a psychopath
As Time she leaves me wandering

With darkness I cannot compete
I bow my head and take my seat
Evil’s looming, I accept defeat
As Time she leaves me wandering

Lost, confused and filled with fear
I contemplate that final frontier
Knowing the result will be severe
As Time she leaves me wandering

A shadow cannot exist without light!
The voices scream with all their might
Hope inside starts to ignite
As Time she leaves me wandering

As shivers tingle up and down my spine
Peace encompasses my soul aligned
In love I sit reclaimed by Divine
As Time she leaves me still

Twisted up inside my head
Your words they take control
You profess to love unconditionally
Yet judgement fills your soul

I try to keep it real
But you just can't seem to hear
Deflecting truthful imperfections
Like a Master Puppeteer

You came to me a teacher
So much wisdom I did gain
About Being and of gratitude
And a touch that caused me pain

You project that of a free spirit
Yet control's within your grip
Manipulation your choice of mind-****
Something YOU would never admit

The darkness lives within you
So much deeper than most can see
Blinded by the gifts you bear
They sell their souls for free

I'll admit it took some time
To let go and set me free
The wolf that lives inside of you
Won't devour what's left of me

This restless leg
Begins to twitch
I’m starting to crawl
I feel the itch

My mind is busy
With endless chatter
I can’t figure out
What is the matter

I soon will pull
My hair all out
I’m starting to tantrum
Past grin’s a pout

Anger begins
This bloods a boil
Chemicals surge
In my state of turmoil

What will I do
I cannot think
Panic sets in
I’m on the brink

Airway cuts off
I cannot breathe
This rooms’ getting dark
God help me please

Heart skips a beat
Then two then three
I’m pretty sure
This is the end for me

I cry out for help
There’s no one in sight
Where is my savior
My prince charming, my knight?

Who are you kidding
I hear with a snicker
You don’t want to be saved
You’re always a quitter

I know that voice
It sounds familiar
A childhood friend
A permanent fixture

******* FEAR!
You don’t have a right
To mess with my mind
And take over my life

A second later
My lungs fill with air
My heart finds it’s rhythm
I’m no longer impaired

Ego runs rampant
An incurable disease
Spreading like wild fire
Destroying with ease

A flesh eating bacteria
with rapid decay
The insatiable appetite
Consuming its prey

An oppressive mindset
One goal in sight
To keep you submissive
And lock you up tight

A soldier at war
With weapons in hand
Restraining the enemy
Regaining command

There’s just one way
To tame this beast
Introduce him to your soul
Watch his powers decrease

Seek lightness not shelter
If you wish to be free
Open your heart to the universe
Sit quiet and just Be

Your naked body
For all to see
Tatters visible wounds
you could not treat

unveiled secrets
you held so close
for fear that others
would judge and expose

For years the mask
Is all you wore
Convinced it covered
The flaws you deplore

Substance quickly
Enticed you in
You dance with the devil
As he mangles your soul, with a grin

Illusions of grandeur
Lead you astray
Blind with temptation
As you rot and decay

I watch from afar
As you wither and fade
Wishing I had influenced
The decisions you’ve made

Holding hope in my heart
And plenty of love
I pray that your Angels
Will guide you from above

Darkness now covers
Where  lightness has been
This train has derailed
I’m stuck once again

With worry and fear
No wisdom within
A prisoner in this railcar
The walls closing in

With judgement of self
Leading the way
Punitive pain
Leads her astray

The damage extensive
She may not be saved
Demons encompass
Her mind Enslaved

A window of hope
If only she could see
Love is waiting
To set her free

The bloodline that relates us
Is tainted and diseased
Lies surging through your vessels
Purging your mouth with ease

Your skin writhe with envy
Your eyes exude no light
Demons scream inside your head
You house the devils’ delight

Your souls’ succumb to misery
Where love cannot reside
Jealous and self-loathing
Lost in idealistic pride

You can’t impersonate kindness
It is not your heart’s desire
To give unto the world
You’re a taker who conspires

Denial fits you like a glove
Where fairness has no place
Like a child without their favorite toy
You are solely a disgrace

I thought of you so often
But never did imagine
To have you in my life
With such a deep connection

You teach me everyday
Lessons of love, trust and faith
And even when I stumble
You lift me up with patience and grace

I am in awe of your beauty
The Divine and Human spirit
You've touched lives on this Earth
The way in which you live it

You are gifted so beyond
What the ordinary imagine
Spreading love to the world
Through your wisdom and compassion

Though sometimes the darkness
Has entered your domain
Your angels move in swiftly
To bring light there once again

I know that you will always
Walk both worlds and here beside me
Your unconditional love
Embracing me to just Be

You are appreciation, kindness, sincere
Your whispers of love ring loud and clear

Angels sing softly by your side
Protecting and guiding you with pride

You are precious to more than those you see
You are a gift from heaven, a priceless piece

So rest your body and calm your mind
Take moments to reflect then leave them behind

Look to the present to guide you to
Friends and Family who love and cherish you

September 22, 2013

The poets arrive
Through the windows of life
Dancing on words
And surfing the light
While fragments of dust
Escape into night

Can you hear the whispers
Of the world outside?
Feel the breeze of the wind
As you drift with the tide

Magic at midnight
Is close at hand
As words of wisdom
Now transcend

The soul has power
The mind its' muse
Belief or blasphemy
Which will you choose?

August 21, 2013

Your crystal visions pierce my naked eyes
organized chaos roams inside
this room is cold
I feel alone
without you by my side

drops from heaven
hit the pavement in unison
God sheds tears that nourish

you are distance on a long
and winding road
and I am left with only my thoughts

you are distance on a long
and winding road
and I fear I may never reach you





June 16, 2011

It’s less than an hour
before you’ll be done
but I wonder what time
you’ll really be home

This house is quiet
everyone is asleep
I’m tortured by silence
and the company I keep

This gum is stale
my jaw is sore
there’s a purring *****
taunting me like a *****

She’s a flirt; she’s a tease
She smells sweeter than candy
this green eyed monster
she sure is dandy

but don’t be deceived
by her charm and ease
this cat will surely skin you
if you forget her pate and cheese

I am lost in this place
filled with silence
chilled by lack of ease
drowning in misery

She sits in wrong
by societies views
this pretty creature
a sheep clothed by wolves

Passively she looks on
few decisions to make
its not worth the bother
to plan an escape

They will hunt you down
and tear out your soul
they know no mercy
death is their goal

So just take your place
and please keep still
it won’t take but a moment
one more victim to ****

Clapping your hands
won’t get this song wrote
just free your mind
and bring it on home

Rock the house
hear the beat
tap your toes
on the street

lamps all humming
moon walks the light
thousands of stars
attacking the night

sky is above us
everything is alive
cut that rug like you’re Elvis
or just do the jive

Talkin is misunderstood
so let the melodies flow
feel rhythm and blues
igniting your soul

searching for answers
as the notes hit your ears
dance like you’ve never
had any fear

Factor in those moments
when everything is clear
this song may be fading
but you will always be here.

You cracked my crystal vision
Temporary blindness has set in
This scapegoat meets my profile
we share the same name

The battle’s just beginning
With an end you won’t be expecting
Your swords and daggers won’t protect u
from the power that’s within me

The light shines down upon me
I have angels there to guide me
through the darkness that confines you
truth will lead the way

So if you must seek shelter
from the light & all it’s glory
I won’t judge the path you’re choosing
Just know I can’t be with you

This does not mean I won’t feel sadness
as I watch your shadows fade
down the path God did not intend for me
a different journey I will embrace


February 18, 2012

Blackness covers
my body so weak
a restless mind
blank inside
with fear beside me, I’m full of doubt

where is my sunshine
my guiding light
to love and protect
against the demons at night

You cannot love in anger
an open heart is a forgiving one
God teaches in quiet whispers
and when we are willing to listen
we learn

Don’t get lost in judgement
it keeps you from your truth
Have you ever looked in the mirror
and felt your soul looking back on you?


December 19, 2011

I seem to have misplaced
The words they have escaped
Vastness taints this tattered page
This writers utmost disgrace

Imagined in my mind
However lost over time
The grandest masterpiece
Now the devils’ finest feast

Another battle lost
To darkness my soul is tossed
Wolves devour my carcass whole
Foaming and out of control

My attackers not the critic
Though they like to trick and mimic
I see through your disguise
The mirrors’ reflection cannot lie

There is but one to blame
For disappointment and for shame
I sit a prisoner  in my cage
As vastness taints this tattered page

Sixty-three years ago today
A beautiful soul emerged with grace
She made her way along side four young men
The building block for her strength within

Pahl's the name she carries with pride
A diamond in the rough country side
No ordinary girl was she
Pet badger to protect her, no one could compete

Though struggle she did to make ends meet
She kept digging in, wouldn't cater to defeat
Resilient, independent she made her way
Raising three small children couldn't get more brave

So stop for a moment and take it all in
There's wisdom, perseverance and courage within
Let nothing discourage from chasing your dreams

I believe in you
And all that you are
Your sixty-three years is just a start
I celebrate you with love in my heart

So high up, this mountain peak
So many answers
I do seek

With open arms
I touch the sky
Feeling heaven
As They stand by

Whispering winds
Envelope my being
Angels surrounding
Softly singing

My heart is open
My thoughts are leaving
Ego acquits me
Now I am feeling

Love is the answer
It is perfectly clear
Trust the guidance
Exonerate the fear