Its not real,
None of its real
I feel,
Delusional.
This flower
I sit staring,
I see it move,
But not on its own,
I see the wind blow.
The vines sway,
back and forth
through the rain.
This flower
Won’t go a day
Without shining,
It shines back at me
When I walk by.
I see it perk up,
It giggles and smiles at me
I see this flower slowly wilt.
I see the smile start to fade,
When others talk bad
About the seed of its past.
I make my way
Towards this flower,
Scared of what i’ll see.
Others see it as the mistakes made,
I see the joy it always caused me.
I dont want that to fade away,
It’s not real,
I wont let it be.
This flower,
I'm scared to see,
In a state
that scary.
I see the pain
It has
And the mourn it’ll give me.
This flower,
Is dying.
It’s not real
Is all
I let myself see.

life will stab with thorns.
it will grow flowers.
life will blow wind,
at the House of cards.
it will build them back up again.
life will knock you down,
so hard you won't feel like standing up.
but you have to.
Don't stop the climb
even in the darkest valleys
or the mountains high.
because the sight
at the end of the rainbow,
is worth
the walk.

They're all like
"closing the doors."
But i don't want to
I'm not going to
It's what I adore.
I'm an adrenaline ******
best way to explain to me?
I like to flirt, masted it even
How do I get so many?
I've mastered the art of the game
Like a good dodgeball round
Where you've finally got it down.
This is MY game
Like karate and kicking
Like playing and flirting.
It's all a game
A system to win
From the looks to the tone.
That's how I know
I'll never be alone.

You stress and worry about things becuase you care, and you're self-conscious, very insecure. But you shouldn't really be. You're funny and sweet and caring and loving and kind, and respectful in a way that I like. You're perfect. You bring me joy. Which is odd, because I don't know this. I've never felt this before. so, is there more?
And you're such a sweetheart, someone who's not a heartbreaker but a builder, a heart maker.

one thing that will always
be left
unsaid,
You will always be
on my mind.
the names you called me.
they will be long forgotten.
your stares.
will be forever lost.
I can manage
the whole world
with the tip of my finger,
yet you control me over one touch.
everyone can easily
drool at the sight of me,
if I let them.
yet I can drown
at your stare.
so how?
how does the peasant rule
over such a knee-dropping
queen?

We have nothing,
yet everything between us.
There's no tension.
no flirtatious acts.
no definition.
we have nothing,
yet everything between us.
your smile is the light of my day.
the compass of my well-being.
your touch, if only I could explain.
your name,
when I hear it called upon the crowd
I look for you. without even realizing,
I search for your face.
you stupid hat that means so much to you,
meaning it means the world to me.
your laugh, makes me laugh.
a shot of dopamine the brain gets
that gives
joy, you're my joy,
that doesn't wear off when the laughing stops.
because across the room,
across the crowd, across the group.
you smile back at me.
knowing we've done this before,
and we pick It back up as if it never dropped in the first place.
I search for your name.
but I don't know if you search for mine,
and that is what scares me.
so,
we have nothing,
yet everything between us.
you talk about the girl you have to me,
and I talk about guys.
but deep down, you are always there.
on the edge of my mind.
i miss your touch.
your dopamine.
its eating at me,
but whats killing me?
the fact that
I don't know if that is what you feel back.
How I wish I could tell you,
but If only I knew if you felt it back.
and even if you do, I know you.
you won't go for it.
but for you? hell, I'll still take friends with benefits.
because your touch is addicting, your smile makes me laugh.
which then makes you laugh, and the cycle continues.
'I love you' Is what I think, but I can't speak.
so keep my secret.
because, we have nothing,
yet everything between us at the same time.

Please do not become someone
that I have to see as a stranger.
please do not make me have to pretend
like you meant nothing to me,
because you did.
please don't let me be
a stranger
when I know you better than anyone else.
I know your laugh,
your smile, and how unsymmetrical
it really is.
don't make me
have to tell people that we are strangers
while you look at me,
knowing that with this mouth,
I used to declare
I love you.
don't be a stranger,
that I cannot even look
at.
don't be a stranger
that takes my breath away
when we bump into each other,
when I acce]idently tough your chest,
knowing what it looks likes underneath
don't make me,
a stranger.
when I can recognize
your voice
from across
the room.