Have you ever been so sick and tired
Of people
And their stupid repetitive routines

You would just like to
Tell them to shut up
And go away

You'd like to never see
Their ugly faces

You know this is a terrible
Negative
Ugly and horrible poem

But I don't care
This place *****

The therapist left
Oh well

A ***** Parade

Penises large
Penises small

Penises short
And tall

These penises
Go marching
Every fall

People wear them on hats

Some are quite fat

They swing them around

I'm at the pen** parade
Not available
To take your call

The ***** has
Been adored

Since
Before man's fall

My body is unattractive
And women don't like me

Oh well

The body is a tomb
Anyhow

Sometimes I think
Life is incredibly dull

And what's the point
I can't seem to change
My situation

A changing time
A changing place
A changing name
A changing face

But it's really all the same
All the same
It's all a game

It's all a big matrix
A big matrix computer

My plain dull expression
In the reflection
Of my Kenmore fan

Reading articles
Hitting putts
On putting greens for
Hours alone

This must be
What it is all about

As our miserable nation
Teeters on the edge
A nation in economic ruins

Let it fail!
Let the whole thing fail

Lousy politicians and banksters

And all I have is this life
It's really nothing
To get excited about
You know

Heaven better be fun
There better be golf there
Or peace

And there better be women
There to give me a hug
And I better have good friends there

These are the things I want there

The body is a burden

I have become close
To an island

A lonely man
On his lonely island

Wandering wandering
Somewhere random
Banging hiking sticks
On the ground

And look at all the fancy cars
And all the well to do Americans
And aren't they so sure
So confident
In their worthless American dollars

Their toilet paper dollars!

Driving around
With important things to do

As I walk around
With my akward shoulder

Striking sticks against the ground

Hahaha

Is this place all
Just one big joke?

Seems like it I guess

Well I love Jesus
Just as much
As the next Christian

I should take
Some snacks
In a little army
Storage bag

It came with the gas mask
I ordered some time ago
Just for fun

I *******
Because women
Ignore me

Oh well

And why is earth
Such a bore

And maybe I'll go to the mountain

I'll just go to the gym
Again

Remember
Soon it will be
Every man for himself

To the globalist
You are just
A useless eater!

The most days
I will work each week
Is three

Happiness on this planet
I'm afraid
Will forever elude me

My left side of my body
Is a bit stronger
Than my right

I try to offset this
With weights
It seems I always
Lose this fight

It's a small imbalance
Not a big deal
Some say

But it bothers me
How I feel this way

And the loneliness is
All consuming
Seeing friends
A few days a year

I won't bother crying
I won't shed a tear

And the therapist mocks me
And the world does too
They hated Jesus
And they will hate you

The wicked lover power
And money too
When judgement day comes
They will be *******

Jihadists plan attacks
In the middle of the night
When different cities
Are attacked
People will be filled with fright

The human race
Just repeats
The same mistakes
Over and over again

I watch **** on the internet
My ***** makes me sin
Some people were
Just born to to lose
And others to win

At the gym
I sit and listen
To people talk
But no one talks to me

I guess this is
My miserable life
And how things
Must be

Nothing ever happens
In this life matrix
And I find it quite queer
I sat on a granite boulder
And drank a non-alcoholic beer

Just a bunch of names and faces
Just a bunch of dates and places
Body slowly dies

It's all absurd and
Mostly meaningless
Should I even bother to cry

Earth the worst
Of all the planets
In the galaxy

I'm content to be miserable
Content to let things be

It could always be worse
I drank a glass of water
To quench my thrist

One day our economy
Will collapse
This is how it should be
America a sinking ship
Will drown in the sea

A New World Order to emerge
Perhaps it will be
Like the movie "The Purge"

Globalist powers
Don't care for you and me
An Orwellian nightmare
Becomes a reality
No longer a writer's fantasy

And I pray to some guy
Named Jesus
I suppose he really cares
He is supposed to hold my hand
And to say "There there"

A world of suffering and sin
All becomes Eve let Satan in
It was their fault, not mine
On this earth
I have spent some time

And if an agnostic
Or atheist
You can see
Human beings are good at
Creating misery

Resources distributed unfairly
Throughout the green earth

A man brings his produce
To market in Africa
He knows what it is worth

A tribal leader
Has destroyed half his fields
He couldn't just let things be

I traveled around the world
Met some good people
And some bad

I don't know really what
To think of this life
Should I just be sad?

Lie in bed and watch a movie
And dream of my female friend
The world never cares
About my desires
Lonely to the end

It's long
And meaningless
No point at all

I stand
Slight of build
About 6 feet tall

Drifting here
Drifting there

Praying and meditating
Who really cares

Jesus was poor
They hated him too

Sitting in the garden
Nothing to do

All I hear
Is talk of "bills"

The absurdity
Of human existence
Oh what a thrill

Call me lazy
I don't even care

That piece of wood
Just sits over there

If I am one day
Kicked out
Of my home

I'll pray to Jesus
Who sits
On his throne

I'm not responsible
I don't even care

Life is mostly
A meaningless joke
It's not even fair

I don't have
Any desires
Or goals

Just to barely
Do anything
And to grow old

So here is to
The emptiness
The meaningless
Of it all

Human life
Bores me
I don't even care

Too many distractions
So there

I went to Huntington Gardens
One place I love

And there I saw
A small white dove

And happy people
Showing each other love

I like being alone
That is my way

Today is just
Another day

And I could care less
If I don't get paid

There was nothing ever here for me

Just another day

Followed by a night

And I'm just happy to be alone

Forever alone

No career

No future for America

Store food and water

Destruction and the end

I bet it's coming soon

Would be more fun I guess

If I didn't spend every hour of every day alone

America is doomed

DOOMED

No plans
No goals
Just to drift

Most people
Will hate me
Well they hated
Jesus too

It's A Mean Old World
Nothing I can do

And as they spend their lives
Meeting deadlines and goals

I just sit around
And grow old

I'm poor
And I don't care

As I drove
In the darkness
I saw the colored lights
Of the fair

There I am
Sitting over there

This life
Oh this life...
Sometimes I feel like Neo
Always searching

Searching for something more
Seemingly Unable to change my life

I'm chronically fatigued
Despite exercise and a good diet

At least there is golf
That's enjoyable
I hit it well at the range today

I'd like to play more often
But I can't afford it

There was that pretty lady
At the checkout stand
Who said she wanted to try playing

I guess I should have asked her if she wanted to play sometime
Blah
I wasn't quick enough

I have a hard time
Yes I breathe heavier than most
Despite meditating and breathing deep

I guess it's this life
I live in a simulation
It's not fulfilling

I am trying to become a teacher
Much love to show
But no one to show it to
My lonely existence

Words like good and fine
Are meaningless

Well
I guess I'll go to the gym again
But the body through its motions
A body in motion stays in motion

I hope to meet a pretty woman one day
And give her oral pleasure
I would like more fulfilling experiences
If they come, so be it

Am I shaping my life?
To some extent
I am just a part of the whole

There is free will
There is also the sense of things having already been determined
At least I have the consolation of philosophy
A great friend to me

At such and such
We believe
"Tomorrow is today"

Today is today
Tomorrow is tomorrow

Let the world
Take care of itself

The sage stays behind

All this rushing around
For what
For what?

We all age
We all die one day

And it is just another Saturday
Alone in my room

And I am almost 31

Ddsfsdf

Hit some ***** at the driving range
Watched some of Bourne Identity
Trying to sync an Ipod

Eternally exhausted
Life the terrible burden
Some guy named Jesus
Gives a **** about me

Cool beans Jesus
I guess I'll keep praying

I try to be good
And do what is right

Breathing kind of heavy
Tired

And all I will ever get
Is endless toil

So tiring this life
I really don't like living here

Of course young Americans
Can't find good jobs

Our country is ruined
Trillions of dollars in debt

At least I had a good eggplant for dinner
It's the small things in life
That make it enjoyable I suppose

He'll spend
A longer time
In purgatory
For objectifying me

"Look At This Guy"

I stood out
From the patrons
I suppose

Because I walk
WIth my hiking sticks

I enjoy the support

I didn't say anything

In retrospect
I might have mouthed
"Look at this guy"

Back to him

The world is full
Of idiots like him

"Look at this guy"

Or "Look at this Jew"

Or "Look at this old woman"

I suppose he thought
It was strange
That I had two hiking poles

People walk with one
But I had two

Can't I just walk in peace
Without being objectified

So hard
To love everyone
So very hard

And I hope
That he is
Forgiven
For his multitude
Of sins

I am working on
Trying to forgive
A man I never met

Stay far away
Far away
From people

You will learn
Protect your fortress
With archers

They can shoot
Flaming arrows
To make these
Horrid people burn

"Look at this guy"

Yes, I must have appeared
So weak and frail

And look at you
You guy
You stupid guy
WIth no feelings
Or emotions
You "thing"

I can objectify you
Just as easily
As you can objectify me

If I do see you
In another realm
And you are rude again

I am not going to keep
Forgiving you
Sorry

I will close my fist
And smash your jaw

A broken jaw
Will teach you
Not to objectify others

You do not know me
And you hate me

I wanted no
Interaction
Yet you bothered me

With your rude comment

I hold you in disdain
And contempt

If you objectify me
Again in the Japanese gardens
I will be tempted to punch you
And smash your face right in

I wonder how many hours
Of their lives
They wasted
In front of the
Idiot box?

This glass
Of Ovaltine
Could use
A bit more
Ovaltine
Be right back

Okay, back
I'd like to smash
That television

Just smash it for fun
Not out of anger

Television is fine
Now and again

But it's what they watch
Lame movies

Watch something interesting
For a change

What's the point really
Of life

Is it just a show
Some type of movie

I'm a good person
I'm kind to people

And what do you get
For that?

Nothing really

Just contentment
From knowing you are kind

And it pleases me
That I am kind
And loving

But I'm still alone

Life is lonely

I just ate a canned fruit bowl

It's a Saturday night

I decided I'm just going
To work part time
For the rest of my life

And live in my parent's home

What's the point really
In working 40 hours a week?

F* that

I'll work thirty a week
I don't care

You can call me lazy

I need my rest

Why do they call it work
Anyway

Not like I "do"
Anything

I just implement
The program

The program that exists
Between the ringing
Of the bells

I would like
A female companion

But I've learned
That the chances
Of that happening
Are very small

I guess I'll watch
Another Youtube video
Again

I wish I had
Fun roommates

For Thanksgiving
I will walk around parks
Aimlessly

The world
Does not care
One bit

How I feel

I enjoy eating my meals

The therapist left
You know the deal

It's all an illusion
Is it even real?

Just keep saying
"Good"
When asked how you feel

Human beings aren't
Suppose to spend
So much time alone

I write these thoughts
I write poems

Another night alone
With my podcasts

My Ipad

I guess I will go to
The gym again

No female friends

Jesus seems unconcerned
About my shoulder

We are tired of waiting
Waiting for you

This planet isn't all that great

It could always be worse
I tell myself

Sitting in front of a f** computer
Typing on a screen
21st century life
Poor and no friends
Alone, always alone
My few friends don't live close

We are isolated
We are lonely
We are poor
Young Americans

And all I ever wanted was a companion

I guess the chat rooms will have to suffice
That's my social life
Sad, oh well
I've learned to expect no changes

Would someone tell me
What the actual point
Of life is?

How can I focus
On one thing?

Too many beautiful
Things to see

I have no sense of time

I happened to be there
At this time

And at that time
I was there

And blah blah blah
I've heard a lot of blabbing

Nuclear plants
In different nations
All a danger
To the populations

Out of control spending
Reckless lending

My left shoulder
Is a bit bigger
Than the right

I don't know why

If this could change
I would be a more content guy

Still it's just a small thing I know
I just try to let it go

You know I went to the gym like I always do
Then I went to the driving range
I love hitting golf ***** in the light rain

I drove around for a bit
Just past sunset
The tao is wise mother

A family were eating in there living room
A woman was in her upstairs room
The desk light shining bright

I listened to my buddhist mantra
The shurangama mantra
A beautiful mantra
Chanted quietly
So peaceful

I wonder why
Why life the way it is
Strange, but beautiful

Yes, I know this earth well
I keep the times
I observe the times
I like to see the big picture
The eyes of the observer

I came home
Some movies on
40 yr old ******
Flipping through a few more
***, violence, Arguments
I am happy I don't watch much television

I had my poached egg
I wish I had a good friend
I have a beautiful soul
And it is a tragedy
In this 21st century
I think many Americans my age are lonely

I think I may just go driving again
I don't know why
The endless wandering
Eyes never tired of seeing

Where is my hug?
Where is my good friend?

I have a few good friends
But they don't live near me now
I see them now and again

I think now of my therapist
I love her as my friend
But wish she would offer me a hug sometimes

I shouldn't have been so revealing
I shouldn't have cried in front of her
She sat so composed
I know she cares for me

I want to see her cry
Like I cried
I'm just as smart as her
She has her therapy job
And her husband
And everything is just hunky dory
With her first baby on the way

I wonder what she thinks of me
I'd like to hang out and be friends
Go on a hike together or something
She's not much of a friend
Just a therapist
I doubt she really cares that much at all

I still search for my close friend
For my true companion
This friendship goes deeper than
The love of two lovers
The love is deeper than that of a married couple
The greatest love is between friends

I hope to find a loving female friend
She understands
And loves me
I love her to

Maybe we will become intimate
No, better not
I will stay a ******

Better not to love like that
It is too risky
Where is my companion?

I guess its youtube videos again tonight
History or philosophy
I will take notes

Alone in my room
Always alone
Almost 30...

Another Saturday night
Alone

Trying to fix my shoulder

No friends
Or warm hugs
No companionship

I suppose it will be
This way
For the rest of my life

A brain
Floating in space
Attached to a body

That is not loved or cared for

We will enter a difficult time
For America soon
I think

Stuffed my body with food
Still empty
Still empty

Endless emptiness
Endless loneliness
Endless tragedy

Oh Earth
What a **** hole indeed

And it will really get fun
When things go bad
When the economy collapses

Who knows
Maybe a third World War

Let the hard times come
Let hunger come
And war
And hate
And pain
And loss
And more pain
And I will just keep going and going

Life is pain
The suffering is endless
Without pain
I would feel nothing at all

Women don't like me
My ***** is small
I don't give a ****
I hope I'm always alone

Care for yourself
Self-reliance
It's a **** hole
Earth
One big **** hole
Welcome!

I asked Jesus
To heal my shoulder
Because it is an annoyance, okay?

In fact, it bothers me
Each and every day

Why won't he fix it?
Why won't he make it
Go away

Alot of times
I believe He can

I believe in the miracles
Of the Bible
How people were healed
In different ways

Seems as though
This bigger left shoulder
Is just here to stay

Food just fills the stomach
It doesn't make loneliness go away

I overate
I hardly ever do that

Oh the new movie
About "immortality"
Self/Less is out

Oh hooray for another  
Lousy Hollywood movie

I made it halfway through
The trailer

Trash, garbage
All it is

And who would want
To live forever?

Only a psychopath

People who can't
Accept the human condition

Most would be
People with no faith
No spirituality
Or belief in a higher power

I would think most
Atheists and agnostics
Would think the idea is absurd
As well

Hollywood makes garbage
Most all movies
Just plain **** these days

An unexamined life
Is not worth living

I try to be virtuous
Kind, caring, and loving

And to improve the
Lives of others
In work
And daily interactions

Anwar Ibrahim
Convicted of ****** in 2008
Acquitted in 2012

The Court of Appeal overturned the acquittal
He is currently serving his sentence

An aide to Anwar
Said he was sodomized by Anwar
******, even if consensual
Is punishable by up to 20 years in Malaysia

Anwar responded the complaint was politically motivated

Support for Anwar grown stronger
His wife is battling his conviction

Some say that political rival Dr. Mahathir
Will recover from his decrease in popularity
And remain in control
Because he helped Malaysia through a though economic time

Although it seems as though Anwar is gaining support
From a majority of the Malaysian people

Human rights groups accused Malaysia's government of using
An anachronistic colonial era law that criminalizes
"Carnal ******* against the order of nature"
To persecute Anwar

Anwar leads a three-party opposition that has become
Increasingly popular in the predominantly Muslim nation

This is not just
Anwar has been wrongly accused
I will pray for his wife
And his supporters

Stay strong Anwar
You are an innocent man

Have you ever known someone
That wasted their entire life?
Never working
Or doing anything for anyone's benefit

Truly terrible

Imagine if you would
A ***** parade

Men are walking

Some in the sun
Some in the shade

Their shorts are off
And isn't it fun

Women are watching
They stare
As if
They'd like to grab one

My vision Of earth

There is peace
Since birth

And all the way
Across the lifespan

To live in harmony
Is my sacred plan

No more corrupt rulers
Or governments

No more wasting space
Small homes and small lawns

And even in poorer nations
People would have enough to eat

No more reason for wars

But, human nature will stay the same
This human race is to blame

I get some enjoyment
Out of my career

And I hit golf *****
Again and again and again

Alone, alone on the driving range

The therapist left

I'm tired of this environment
And not having enough money

And I've learned
Jesus couldn't give one bleep
About my akward shoulder

And it's going to be akward for life
And I've learned I live in a computer
A meaningless pointless computer

And I'll live a moral life
Showing love to others

And I'm tired of this
And look at the dull frown
On my face

It's from all the time alone

Akward ugly body
Akward shoulder
Earth body
Dull

On a hike
I walked off the trail
And hid behind the trees to deficate
So natural

And in the meantime
DARPA prepares
Its many drones

I won't be here for Thanksgiving
Or for Christmas either

Never feeling that comfortable
In my own body
My left shoulder
Takes over

All the physical therapists
And prayers in the world
Won't fix the thing

And you should learn
To do nothing
To do nothing
Inside this stupid computer

That's all it is
Some simulation

Empty yourself
Of all desires
At "work"
Do nothing

The Tao of Heaven
Is work without effort

Happy Birthday to me
31 years today

No one to hug or love
And I guess that
Will have to be okay

Walking off
On some mountain trail

The world is just so big
So far away
Far away
Far away from you

And it's a shame
Because just one
Small hug would do

No one to meet
No one to hug
And so I walk alone

And so I write these poems

Planet earth bores me
And the whole life
Experience too

Just keep on keeping on
That's all I am
Left to do

I wish for my birthday
A woman here
Would say, "I love you"

Went to the market
As I left
Saw a National Geographic
About Rome

Just how the people thought
Rome was invincible

There are many who think
That we will be always
Be prosperous

You have broken
Your covenant with God

Judgement will begin
To accelerate soon
I believe

A nation drowning in debt
A nation that has killed
Millions of innocent unborn

Not to mention
Our foreign wars
That wreak havoc
All over the world

A nation with a corrupt
And wicked president
And Supreme court

You have angered God America

Christians
Separate yourselves
From this land

This is not the country
That our ancestors
Had envisioned

God will be with his people
But not with America

He is an all knowing
And righteous judge
And America
You will reap
What you have sewn

Amen.

All my life I've been looking for something
Something never comes always leads to nothing

Then I learned there is only the present
Keep the mind empty
There is no me separate from me
It's all an automatic program made by the creator

Strange really, the whole thing is quite strange
Like some automatic program
Love, humility
Extinction
Neither rising or falling
Form is emptiness
Emptiness is form

Boundless light
Endless compassion for others
Trying to serve others

But unable to
Do what I want to do

I remain some type of outcast observer
Unable to participate in life
I will go wandering into the mountains

While these mindless people
Watch television mindlessly
In their American home

They'll hate you
For loving Jesus
And reading the Bible

They'll mock you
Just as they mocked Jesus

Nothing new I suppose
Jesus is Lord, Amen.

I believe
A terrible time
Of trials
Awaits America

Perfecting my form with the kettle bell swing
Running miles at the gym

Harden the body
Harden the mind

I looked in the mirror and asked,

Who am I?
Well you see I'm just this guy

One hip is a little weaker than the other
But I do my exercises to strengthen it
I still ran 3 miles at a 6:30 pace
I don't give a ******

Now flossing my teeth at home

My goodness
I enjoy writing poems

Bodies Go here
And bodies go there

I don't know
What it's about

And I don't really care

I just try to be kind

Life is not fair

Alone in the world

To see and to see

Without many friends

There is misery

I can here that
Frigging tv

Oh America
What a place to be

Spraying chem trails
Aluminum and Barium too

The globalists hate me and you!

Turn off the television
The flicker rate
Designed to keep you in a hypnotized state
Making you more susceptible
To buy products
From obnoxious ads

Tune in to real life Americans

I drove in my car
I didn't drive far

Through the suburban neighborhoods

A friday night football game
A man and woman
With their son

Cruising the streets
Of my old neighborhood
Isn't it fun

My old childhood street
Is just a mile
Or so away

I'm not sure
What to do today

I'll go to the gym
And that's a bore

A life of seeing
What a snore

It seems
I am in this world
Just to see

My existence
A dull misery

Growing tired
Growing older

I have climbed
Mountain trails
And stood upon boulders

I have made some improvement
With my akward shoulder

America is quite a place
Life leaves a bitter taste

Conceptions of self
What am I
I gaze upward
Toward the sky

It's a dull reality
But I'm thankful
I am me

I miss my friend Liz
She understood
And cared for me

Now there is no one
To talk to me

Life is a journey
With an open heart
WIth good will toward
My fellow man and woman
I set forth on the journey

With an akward shoulder
With a body
I do not feel comfortable in
It is a burden

I hope to meet
A female friend
The 21st century
Is a lonely place

I enjoy probiotic yogurt drinks

I don't expect
To ever find a female friend

I won't hope or pray
To find her

Sitting alone
Under different oak trees

Who cares
A hug from a kind woman

A conversation with
A loving woman
How many more years
Before it happens?

I don't have any
Money to date

Hello Creator
Way up there
Sometimes
I doubt if you really care

I spent my life
Being kind and loving
To every human being

And you won't grant me
One simple wish

(Companionship with a loving female human being)

Oh well
I'm suppose to love you
No matter what

Just like Job
Who you made go through
Terrible stuff

Sometimes life
Is ***** And sad
My akward shoulder
You could care less about

And that makes me
At times mad

At least I'm not Edgar Allen Poe
He had a real miserable time
Toward the end you know

Have to exercise everyday
Or I'll get fat

My name is Matt

And so I wandered
Out

Have you ever just walked
Relaxed
And walked upon the earth?

It's quite beautiful
And yet how can I explain
In words

I can only try
But walkers

You know
You know

Observers
You know too

Parked at the library
And walked through the park

Through those suburban
Neighborhoods
Of Pasadena

I see"E Clampus Vitus"
On a license plate

The founder of
The order was Tertullian

A Christian
But A heretic
Nonetheless

His teaching
On the trinity reveals
A subordination

Of Son to Father
That the church
Described
As a form
Of Arianism

A man read a book
In that car

And
As I walked some yards by
I banged my hiking sticks
Together

Angry at her
For something she said

I tell you living
With your parents
At this age

Is a pain
And life is always
About money

Turns out
I'm just a debt slave
In this miserable land

And so I wandered on
Through those
Suburban streets
Expensive
Ranch style
California homes

Massive shady trees
Out of the sun and
Into the shade

No one to hug
I'm used to this
After all
It's my life

And so I settled
In the park
After wandering

Yes,
I'm a park dweller now

And as I lay against
The tree
I observed the volleyball game

And as I write this poem
I think about the therapist
She used to say my poems
Were beautiful

We had a good time

I was relying on you
I was having an enjoyable time

Then you left
Why did it have
To be that way?

I got sidetracked there
Well anyhow I watched
The volleyball game

And two people
Train their pitbull
To catch the frisbee

I had thought earlier
How I had played
Baseball on that field
Some twenty years ago

Those little gnats
The sun lights them up
As they swarm in the light

I am a lover of the light

You know to see the afternoon
And the evening
It is sacred to me

And from that park I made
My way back to my neighborhood park

A pretty woman making
A call on the green benches
Underneath the warm yellow glow
Of the oblong overhead lights

She looked my way
I was nestled in the corner
Against the tree
With my small blue bag
To lay my head on
And my yoga mat

I wanted to say hello
To her as I made my way
To my car
To get my iphone
She was at her car too

But no, those are just dreams
My life is maybe like
That of a wandering
Chaste monk

Oh yes
And I forgot
To mention earlier
That I crossed myself
After I banged
The hiking sticks together

I'll leave that portion here
Even though it belongs
Earlier in this composition
Because it is the order
In which it was remembered

After reading about
The life of St. Antony

Well I feel called
To live that life
I am chaste
And poor

The world has
Rejected me

The stillness of nature
Yes, this is the way
The way for me

St. Antony was of
The desert

I am of the mountains
And valleys

Appear and Re-appear
Isn't it strange
And isn't it queer?

How we appear
And re-appear?

Appear at the job site
Re-appear at home

At night
I am usually alone

Do you find it ****?
Or do you find it funny?

When a 30 year old man
Is in the kitchen
Snacking on a prenatal gummy?

I was elected
As a representative
Of planet earth

To explain the human race
To life on other planets

I explained to them
That we destroy our environment
Begin wars

I explained to them
That the future
On earth does
Not look bright
At all

I also explained to them
That most of the world's people
Just try to get enough food
To make it through the day

They couldn't believe
How primitive we were
They laughed
And said

"Truly, as a race
There wasn't really
Much improvement
At all
In your whole history!"

I told them
I knew it was sad

The two basic problems
People had were
Were a lack of respect and love
For the planet we lived on
And for our fellow man

I can't find a good job
And I have no money
And at this point

I don't give a ****
I most likely won't find a good female friend

I'll return to the mountain
Sit on the rock

Sit here all day
Like a monk

Gone Gone, far away
From the concerns of the world

Gone, Gone,
No pain or fear

It would have been fun to be a teacher
But I decided just to forget about it

I am a smart man
But in our economy
It doesn't matter

And so I don't really care anymore
I'll study my history and philosophy

And It would have been fun I guess to meet a woman
A woman that cares

But beauty always leaves my life

Amy she is a sweet woman
A teacher and about my age
We share many of the same interests
She even enjoys watching golf

She enjoys Antique road show, and British comedies
She loves hiking and fitness
She has done alot of travelling

I would have enjoyed it
If she lived nearby
I would like to be friends with her
Good friends who share life and share hugs
I dreamed of meeting a woman like her
To have as a close friend

But only a glimpse is given
Only two days are given to me
A glimpse of someone kind
Of someone loving

She hugged me and said goodbye
When I left
That was kind of her

I always wanted to have a friend like her

But better not to hope
Better not to hope at all
That I can have a friend like her

And so I return to the mountain
Gone, gone, gone
Away, Away, Away

Alone Alone Alone
Like always

It would be nice
To have a friend like you Liz
Someone so kind and caring

Amy is like you in that way

I won't be meeting any women like Amy
Anytime soon

And so I return to the mountain
My home
I dwell in this mountain
I dwell in the high places

I walk the mountains

And when I hiked up telescope peak
With my hiking poles
I strode up the mountain

At 10,000 feet
I reached out my hand
To touch the sky

God is great
I said to myself
God is great

Hiking is beautiful
And I can enjoy it

Jesus is my friend
When I barely have any friends

And the world rejects me
And I do not care anymore

And my loving female friend
She is not coming, she is not coming

The hugs are not coming
The love is not coming
Not coming

I only have some small hope left
Why haven't I learned yet?
Why should I hope at all

About finding my female friend

I would like her to be like Amy
Loving and kind
Spiritual
Amy is that way

May Jesus watch over you Amy
You are an amazing person
A ten year teacher
You are a strong woman like your mother
A lifelong teacher
Whom you said is retiring soon

I wish I lived near you Amy
We could be such good friends
And I know you saw what a loving
And caring man I am
And we discussed our intellectual interests
And it was very enjoyable

And I probably won't ever see you much
Beautiful people they never stay
They never stay

Today I will return
To the mountain trail

There is an element of mystery there
I wonder who I will meet along the trail

Last time I met Mark
A 32 year old

He asked me if I needed any water
And offered me some beef jerky

He was from Los Angeles
Working at a Target
Couldn't afford to finish college

A bit overweight
Raised as a Christian scientist
But not particularly religious it sounded liked

We talked about the beauty of nature
And I mentioned Buddhism and Daoism

We talked about our love for hiking
Peace be with you Mark

And yesterday evening
I heard the familiar jingling of the bells

I had heard them on a previous night
She said the most kind hello
I think I have ever heard
Bless her
What a pretty woman

Maybe next time I will chat with her for a bit

Yesterday evening I watched the sunset
On my rock chair I sat

Alone as usual

I made my way back down
With only my Iphone light

I heard the rattlesnake
On the trail
So loud, it startled me

I went back up
Not wanting to continue down
I waited for my fellow hikers
Who had LED lights

I warned them of the rattler
And they said they saw it coming on the way up
And so I made my way down with them

She was such a gorgeous ***** brunette
But women always ignore me
I'm used to it

As I finished the trail
A car was parked at the bottom
In a wide open area

A couple chatting in their car

I made my way back down to Sierra Madre

I had walked to the trail
When you are as poor as me
You have to save gas

And I walked through the town
I heard the familiar cry of the baby
And the woman sitting on her front porch

Always on the outside
Looking into homes
They are not like me
They are not alone like me

A woman with her child in the living room
Sierra Madre is a quaint mountain town

Stumbling around with my hiking poles
Tired
One leg a bit longer than the other
One hip a bit higher than the other

I don't know why
I don't care
Just a body
An earth body
Connected to the earth

It's all pointless
Meaningless
Absurd
I say out loud
As I bang my hiking sticks together

And I am forever walking
Forever searching
For something I cannot find

And I keep on feeling nothing
And it leads to nothing
And I'm always tired
And I don't know why
And I just don't care

And I keep on walking
It's just another day
Like all the other days

Read some sign

"Investing in our future"
Some new pipes being put in on our streets

I said out loud there is no future
No future for America

Are we looking for love?
I hope to feel love or be loved

Almost 30 years now
On this Earth

I haven't really felt it
Sure there have been people that cared
There are people I love
My friends are important

I once loved a woman
Or thought it was love
Or something intense
Mixed feelings I had
I'm not sure what

But she didn't love me

I am learning
Learning I will never meet anyone

I will work and work endlessly
Nothing will come
Except more times

The emptiness of existence

When I was in preschool
I sat in a chair crying
Crying for mom
I didn't play with others

Now I'm not crying

I will probably never meet
That really good friend or partner

I'll probably always be alone
That's okay
I have the times
I keep the times
Almost 30 now

Strange
Ultimately it seems
As though I am swept away in life
Making decisions but ultimately

It is all predetermined?
Like some matrix program
Program earth
Four seasons in a year

I have myself
There is always the self
Know yourself
And love yourself
2015 now

I am strong
I am strong
I do not need a woman's love or touch

Some men do
I am not like them

All day on the driving range
Hitting golf *****
Alone
Alone again
I am still here alone
Me and myself and I
Alone, Alone, Alone
This is earth my home

I will not retire
I will work until I die
This is my home
Earth is my home
I am a soldier of this life

Just one time
I wanted to feel love
Stupid
Dreams dreams stupid dreams
Fantasies

Embrace the reality
The cruelty of it all

America is crumbling
The middle class dream over
I see hard times
Hard times on the horizon

I am a warrior of this earth
Of this life battle
Battle on
Battle on
I do not fear

Once I cared for someone
She did not care for me
It was then I learned
Don't trust people
They will only hurt you
People will only hurt you

I have a few friends

I'll probably never meet that good friend

When's Jesus coming back?
Who knows

Transhumanism, Posthumanism
That stuff is ******* up

In my heart I still believe in Jesus
The one who overcomes

Alone Alone
At the gym alone
At the driving range alone

Driving alone
I love the times

Life is not sweet
Our dollars are not worth much anymore

When the hard times come
When the terrible times come

I will be ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready I will not falter
I will not fail

My grandfather was a solder in WWII in North Africa

America you are doomed
The American dollar finished
There is no economic recovery

Prepare Americans prepare
The government will not be there for you
Hard times coming

Are you going through a hard time?

Do you feel emptiness and pain
Like me?

It's okay
We are human beings
Here hold my hand

We will not break
We will fight on
We remain unbroken

We are poor
We are tired
We are searching
Searching for meaning
Searching for something

Oh this life
This life
Somebody should have told me
I am learning for myself
Are you seeing like me
Seeing how hard it can be?

I am more
More than just a body
I am not a materialist

We are fighting
We are fighting
We are fighting

I am fighting
I am poor
And as hard as I have studied
As much as I have studied
I still can't find a job

We are fighting
Don't stop fighting
And why do I breath heavy like this?
It must be life that weighs heavy on me

Still Still
I do not want pills
Or Sympathy
Just more hard times
Get up, get up!
We are still here
We are still Fighting
This is earth
We are strong
We will not break
We will not break

I went to college
Then I got a credential
Still no job
Still no job
Almost 30, still no job

These dollars are practically worthless!
Quantitative easing
The Fed
What a miserable institution
Printing more and more
Hyper inflation
Worthless American dollars

Let's be strong
Let's get strong
They cannot break
They will not break the iron will
The iron will
Forged in fires
Of endless hours alone
The emptiness alone alone
There was no one  
No one
Just some hope or something

Something that no one can ****
I am man!!!!!!!
This is earth!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not a super soldier
My body ages
My weak frail human body
Work out
Again and again
Again and again

Are you poor like me
Do you look for love
But you can't find it?
People can be terrible
Forget them

You are still here
Still here and still fighting
You cannot take that away

Say your name!
I am Matt
Almost 30 earth years
Motherf

Come on!!!!!!!
I'm ready for more pain
More emptiness
I'm ready
I am ready
I will not break

Spinning earth spins round and round
Human bodies go up and down
It's a crazy **** place

I try to do what is right
To be good
I show love to people
Are you like me?

I am earth man
I am earth man
I will not fear
I do not fear

I keep the times
I keep the times
I am the keeper

I can't find a decent job
And I'm stuck at home

So I'll join
The army
I'll be free to roam

And to Afghanistan
They'll send me
That's the plan

An army ******
In a foreign land

These wicked men
I will ****
Lying calmly on the hill

A soldier's duty
Is not to question why
A soldier's duty
Is to due or die

These men have families
Too you say

But they **** the innocent
Every day

Turns out it doesn't matter
How many Taliban I ****

It will likely be
A very long time

Until

There is peace in Afghanistan

Content to have
A room of my own

Don't need a big house
Don't need to be
A king on a throne

Content to have
A room of my own