In some kind of way
One big
Predetermined program

A career chosen
Exercise
And leisure activities

Still, there is enjoyment
In the small things

Caring and showing
Kindness to others

Blueberry tea
Watching the dogs play
At the park

Same dull frown
Same akward shoulder

I suppose its just a shoulder
No big deal

I suppose they were
My friends
I guess I'd still like to be friends
If they would call?

I will buy more socks
A belt
Underwear and immodium

Chipping golf ***** is fun

My left shoulder is still akward

Women ignore me

And I'll probably never

Meet a female friend

I still walk about in parks

Sitting on my yoga mat

Trump, Clinton, or Bush

Take your pic

They're all the same

I've been reading experts

Who say anywhere from Sept-Dec.

It's all coming down

The end of America

The end of the financial system

I suppose we will be

Like a third world nation

The times they are a changin'

Been through so much sh** now
Haven't we all

And I live in this body
That I don't really like

And I spend my life alone

And I can forget about success
Or a career or a future in this country

Just store food and water
And get ready for a big collapse

You're on your own soldier!

But that's okay
Grandpa was on his own
In North Africa

I'm tough, I'm mean
And I will survive

Bcause that is all I ever do
I certainly don't have
Many good feelings

I don't know any pretty women
I don't have fun

I scrape and scrap
For every lousy worthless dollar

And I'll keep my can opener
Close at hand

I need to store up more canned foods
Cause this is a nation in a whole bunch
Of trouble

Concentrate on others
And not on yourself
You may find it to be wonderful

There is a way for me
A path for me in this life

I love the life of the mind

I am just a plain simple man
I hope to meet a female companion

To love a woman deeply
Is too intense for me

Friendship is wonderful

Hmmmm
What should I record onto my iphone now?
Maybe The Republic by Plato
Or some more speeches by Churchill

I really did care for my therapist
It is too bad she had to move away
But it's okay
One day I think I may meet a woman
To be friends with for life

I am loyal to my friends

Slow and steady
The asian man I talked to
Is in his eighties
And still walks up our street each day

"Where is the lady in the garden?" he asked
I told him she was in the back I think
He is a kind man

One day he told me I am young and to enjoy life
He is young
His smile you should see
So sweet

That is the ancient way
The eternal joy he kept through time

I can see
I have eyes that see
I just try my best to be kind to others

Mark 12:30-31

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’  31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no commandment greater than these.”

Well I talked with this person
About being a Christian
He explained he was agnostic

And told me that
He thought
The teachings
Of Jesus
Were wise

But he could not
Believe in the
****** birth
Or resurrection

I told him that was
Fine with me
And we could
Still be friends

I told him
"It's so easy, don't you know"
To show the love that Jesus shows"

He laughed and
Said I was a bit
Of an idiot

Nobody cares
He told me
And he said
I should
Just mind my
Own business

Don't go out of
Your way he told me

Well I told him
That in my life
I have found
That most people
Appreciated
The love I showed

Like how I always ask
How the gardener
And his family is
And how I offer
Him fresh fruit too

In the Christian's mind
Every thought
And action
Being written down

I told him according to Ecclesiastes 12:14

"For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil."

Well he enjoyed being
An agnostic
And I respected him
For it too

God can't be
Proved or disproved
I know

I just told him
I rather liked the
Idea of all lives
Being written down
Into eternity

And I told him
Well I just thirst
For judgment

People have done
Such evil
And terrible acts
And didn't care
At all

I told him
That I was quite
Pleased with a judgment day

With those people
Who had repented
Being separated
From those who had not

When in the Book Of Revelation
The Angel of the Lord
Came and reaped the earth
Separating the harvest
From the chaff
The chaff cast into the fire

Well he'll always be
An agnostic
And that's fine with me

He respects Jesus
And what he taught

If you're an agnostic
Or atheist too
I do respect you

I know many people
Will mock me
For being a Christian
And I'm okay with that

I'm supposed to love
The American dollar

I'm afraid
It doesn't have
Any value anymore

I'm afraid this
Country
Is a total joke

700 billion dollars
And little change
In Afghanistan

Negotiations will
Soon begin with
The Taliban

Another military failure

And so I'm content
To spend the day
At the gym
And at the park

Yes, I'm poor
And who cares?

There is no
Future for anyone
In this nation

America on the decline
I hope a final collapse
Occurs soon

It's what we deserve
After all

People who say
"Oh my God"
Frequently
Are obnoxious

Perhaps they don't
Even believe in God

I find the taxpayer's
Concern with money
Comical

His money just
Digits on a screen

The bank only has
Some small amount

Of the actual funds
Available

I don't buy into
A "40 hour a week"
Work week

I don't need
My own place

I was at the park
Reading the
Myth of Sisyphus

The Christmas music playing
At that one house
The glow of the lights

That denseness
And strangeness
Of the world
Is the absurd

I listened to an audio clip
Of this woman
Form the Christian chat
I sometimes chat on

She was laughing
And so happy
Good to hear

Beautiful things like that
Exist far away from me

The world isn't meeting
My expectations
But that is okay
I'm content to listen
To her on my iPhone

I'm ready
For the terrible times
When the illusion
Of our safe, secure
And wealth nation

Is shattered

I love Bree
She is a good friend to me

She gets the munchies
I get them too

We have a good time chatting
Yes we do

We stick up for each other
When we are feeling blue

She was there when I felt sad
Her hug made me feel glad

She lives in Washington
I'm in CA
But she is just a keystroke away

Her taste in music really rocks
I'd like to buy her purple socks

Stay warm Bree
It's winter time
And I'm feeling fine

I love my home now even more
There are more chats with her
In store

Dear God in heaven
I do pray
Protect Bree and her family
Every day

Just focus on the moment
Be in the moment

No past or future
No story

So simple
Yet beautiful

I was hitting 3/4 wedges on the range
Following through to the target
A man was observing me

Now I'm writing this poem
I think it's too late to listen to
A lecture on the Glorious Revolution

This life is strange
Strange and beautiful

Mmkay now I will play Ipad game again

Hmm I take that back
I will continue listening to the discussion
On the Glorious revolution

Now let me go see what is for dinner
I think it is pizza again, lol
But only one slice if it is

I know some people grow tired
Of hearing about Jesus

And people want to live their own way

I won't sit here and tell you
That the only way to God the Father
Is through the Son

(Even though the Bible says this)

I'm not a theologian

Blessed is he, who has not yet seen
But still believes

And to anyone, Christian or not
I pat you on your back

If you show love
To your fellow human being
If you are considerate
And care for others

If you love your neighbor as yourself
If you forgive others

We all have our own beliefs
But I think all of humanity
Christians, buddhists, etc

Can agree that we should
Love one another

I enjoyed watching her
Pleasure herself on her webcam

As she had a very powerful ******
I became more intrigued

This latin beauty

And as she began to pleasure herself
Some more

And experienced more pleasure

I became somewhat jealous

That I am a man
And not her

Must be nice to be a woman

Went to college
Went to school 16 months
Past that

Can't even save up enough
To pay for my car registration

Mommmmm
I need 130 dollars
To pay for my car  registration

Hahah
So poor

I took the Lord's name in vain
And I am sorry
Ugh

I got a parking ticket
And I thought I didn't need a pass
For that lot

And I should have made sure
And it's another expense I can't afford

And I may not have a job
Or be rich or famous
But I show love to others
I try I do

1 million Afghans and 15,000 Soviet conscripts died
Fought with American guns

Foreign nations had tried for centuries to conquer Afghanistan
In the 1970's it became a focus for the superpowers

To Moscow, a friendly Afghanistan was important

Afghanistan's new leader looked to the Soviet Union for support
The Soviet Union sent advisors to advance socialism

Land was taken from large owners
And handed to the peasants who worked it

Women were encouraged to stop wearing veils
And were put into literacy classes with men

The reforms were seen to threaten ancient customs
And the authority of the Mullahs

The Mullah says,
"God has decided who is rich and who is poor,
It can't be changed by communists."

Opponents of the reforms
Burned down schools and universities
Resistant grew throughout the country

Iranians joined in
Calling for a Jihad
Against the communists

The U.S. thought
That the Soviets might use the Afghan crisis
To move south
And seize the oil of the Persian Gulf

Meanwhile the Shah of Iran was overthrown
The U.S. lost its most important ally in the region
The U.S. considered the possibility of a Soviet controlled Iran

Carter sent the Mujahideen equipment,
Mostly communication equipment
They were mostly peasants

Recruits for the Jihad walked for days
Across the mountains to reach the fighting

Soviet trained Afghan army
Thousands of men deserted
Kabul requested Soviet troops

Afghan president met with Soviet leader

The Soviets feared the spread of Islamic fundamentalism
Into Afghanistan from Iran
The Soviets felt they had to send troops to stabilize the region
Moscow hoped they could complete their mission in weeks

Moscow had Amin assassinated
They didn't like him talking with the Americans

At the United Nations
The invasion of the Soviet Union was condemned

The Soviets began with large sweeps
Their approach was a disaster
Mujahideen remained in the villages
Guerilla fighters remained in the mountains

Reagan stepped up aid to the Mujahideen

The Mujahideen were spilt along tribal lines
They sometimes fought each other

A war fought with our gold
And their blood
According to CIA man

The U.S. viewed the conflict in Afghanistan as an internal
Cold War struggle
The U.S. provided assistance to anti-Soviet forces
Through the Pakistani intelligent services

The Red Army changed tactics
And took to the air
Soviet commandos
Dropped in by helicopters

Soviet aircraft bombing indiscriminantly
Village after village pummeled into oblivion
Then overrun by Soviet troops
The village men who refused to join the Afghan army were murdered

Thousands of civilians killed in Soviet atrocities

The mujahideen attacked Soviet convoys
2,000 Soviets died each year
The war seemed pointless to the Soviet soldiers

The mujahideen favored sabotage operations and assassinations
The Stinger missiles were effective for them as well

Reagan said,
"To watch the courageous Afghan freedom fighters
Battle modern arsenals with simple hand-held weapons is an inspiration to those who love freedom."

The war lasted almost a decade
The early foundations of al-Qaeda
Were allegedly built on relationships
And weaponry that came from billions
Of dollars in U.S. support for the Mujahideen

Scholars have argued that Bin laden was outside
Of CIA eyesight
And that there is no support for the claim
That the CIA funded Bin Laden

So What's It
What's It
What's It
What's It all about?

People chasing American dreams
Unable to live and enjoy the present moment it seems

They frown when their stocks go down

This American Empire is at it's end

When things collapse
I will be on the mountain my friends

My body is akward

I never got the chest I wanted
I feel ugly
Like gollum

Never touched
Or hugged
By any woman

Probably not capable
Of loving a woman
When I can't learn
To love this body

I don't see how a woman
Could ever

In a world full of emptiness
Full of times
Nothing leading to nothing

On and on

The ******* operator
She was pretty good
At her job

The slogan of the site
"Is speak to your desire"

I did
Now its over
The desire met

Feelings of boredom
Emptiness

Never thought
That highly
About life on earth

You can apply
For reading "privileges"
At the Huntington library

If you are
Academic faculty
A research librarian
Or Phd candidate

If you are
An average citizen
Who enjoys reading

Don't bother

Effortless action
Nishkama Karma

The sage manages affairs without doing anything

Cessation

The Tao is like water
It nourishes all who it comes in contact with

The Tao is like water
It sinks to the low places
It does not desire or strive

Non-striving

Boundless light
Never ending compassion
Love for all

Show people the love that Jesus showed us

Not seeking recognition
Living humbly and simply
Enjoying nature

The sage puts his own person last
He has no personal and private ends
It is because of this that such ends are realized

Simply love all the people you meet along the way

The highest excellence is like that of water
Water benefits all things
And in its occupying
Without striving to the contrary
The low place, which men dislike
Hence its way is similar to that of the Tao

When wealth and honors lead to arrogance
This brings its evils on itself

When the work is done
To withdraw into obscurity is the way of heaven

The Tao produces all things and nourishes them
Yet it does not claim them as its own

Clay is fashioned into vessels
But it is on their empty hollowness
That their usefulness depends

So remain empty
Just as the clay vessel does

In being empty like the vessel
You can be receptive to what is around you

Remain in the present
And be filled with love

Split pea soup
With small chunks of baked ham

I think I will have another bowl
The broth is so good for me

Will I ever find a job
Will I ever be able to leave this home
After 17 years here?

They are painting it green
Ugh
That was the color of the home I lived in from '87 to '97

And it is also the color of my split pea soup

Spotify I love you
Thanks for all the great music

Sometimes it is hard
Life can be so lonely

At least I have my music
Anyone care to chat on Skype or AIM?
Message me and we can exchange contact info

Lol people who write poems are awesome
It's hard to be a human being sometimes
The loneliness is what is difficult for me

Just keep trying to do what is right
Show the light inside of yourself

Sometimes the world can be cruel
It's okay, just persevere

I spent the day by myself
At the gym

Not employed right now
Then I walked a bit down the street
Cried some
Held this cross necklace I have

Well
I've seen some times now
I'm almost 30

I've studied history and philosophy
Read many great minds

It's quite a thing to be a human being
Don't give up
Don't give up
On your dreams

I grew up with hate
Tried to push me down

It's love that will overcome
Love
I am the keeper
I keep the days and the times

German soldiers
Left to do their duty
At Stalingrad

****** would not retreat
From the city
That bore the name
Of his communist enemy

Stand in the cold
Stand in the rain
Stand in the heat
Stand when you feel emotional pain

Stand everyday

Where is the change?
Will I ever begin my career?

I just want to meet a good friend to talk to
But I have no money
And I can't meet anyone these days

I guess I'll be on youtube again

Woe
Woe
Woe!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thus says The Lord: How long must I speak to that which is obvious, little flock? Must My servant be drawn away continually to feed you, as though you were yet babes? How is it you still question, though within your heart the truth of the matter is made known by My spirit, which cries, “False!”? When will you open your eyes and see? When will you lay yourselves down and hear? When will you empty yourselves, that you may truly discern?

Therefore, because your eyes are slow in seeing and your ears dull in hearing, your mind congested with the many deceits of this world, this is what The Lord your God says: WOE TO THOSE WHO LEAD MY LAMBS ASTRAY! WOE, I SAY TO THEM! Woe to all who feed lies to the little ones and cause them to sin! For as it is written, it would be better for them if a millstone were hung around their neck, and they were drowned in the depths of the sea! For punishment is reserved for all who corrupt the innocent for evil gain; indeed, many millstones are prepared and wait for those who must bear them! Behold, My strong rebuke comes forth, for all who bear false witness in My name!


Woe to those who uphold perverse and bitter doctrine!
Your discipline shall be most severe!...

Woe to those who pollute My name, in word and by deed!
For you have brought shame upon your own heads,
And disgrace to all your houses which you call by My name!

Woe to all who take advantage of the ignorant
And pollute the minds of the innocent!...

WOE TO ALL WHO HARM MY LITTLE ONES!
For I shall stretch out My hand against you;
Indeed, a double portion of wrath is reserved for you!


Behold, I shall stretch out My hand and bring harm upon the wicked, and strike those who slaughter the innocent, until I have destroyed them in all the earth! Says The Lord God. For My wrath remains upon all who have taken part, upon all who voice their agreement!... And yes double, even double again, upon all who ****** My precious gifts!
Therefore, beloved, turn away from the churches of men and take a stand against the wickedness of this world; and no more give any credence to that which you behold on the screen. Rather fall down and pray, wail and bring forth many tears on behalf of those perishing... Yet of the little ones, you need not pray or make intercession, for they are Mine and I shall surely steal them away, says The Lord.

There is no acting
Within this program

When dealing
With people
Be kind and gentle

Return bitterness
With care

My feet are going
To be on the ground

My head is there
To move me around

Stand in the place
Where you "work"

Funny song

Stand here
Stand there

I stand with
Akward shoulder

So what
Who cares

Sitting at a Starbucks
Always sitting at a Starbucks

Just met A good guy
He knew my grandfather

He lives across the street
From where I am staying

Is anybody out there?
In a world so lonely
In a world so cold

Wish I could have dinner
With somebody
But I don't know anybody

In a world so cold
In a world so cold

What are they talking about
At the Starbucks
Some kind of project

I asked about how his son
Liked the school I went to

We talked about the neighborhood  
For a bit

And he moved on
And he walked on

Blessings to him

In a world so cold

And it's all so tiring
Life in the 21st century

Where have all the people gone
In a world so cold

Won't someone stop by my chair
Won't someone stop by my chair
Somebody stop by my chair

Nobody is stopping by my chair
And I'm all alone again

Feeling like part of the background
In a world so cold

Well at least there is the Internet
And my faith

Dream about female friends
In a world so cold

Blah blah blah
Dollars and deadlines

I here them blabbing
About it at Starbucks

Some professors here

Supply chain management
Blah blah blah

CPA
Accounting

His first stand out

He sits in the front row
"Here is someone that wants to learn"

Blah blah blah

No plans here
To work
Or get any more degrees

Just walk around in gardens
Not motivated at all

Lol

The banks....
Blah blah
stay and go

We do a pretty good job of....
Blah blah
It's a good place to work, etc

This is their first or second real job...

Blah blah

Not a lot of new products
On the credit side

Blah blah

Fight and scrape
For ever miserable
Devalued dollar

That is the globalists plan for me

You know they are having a family dinner
I left because I'm not a success I guess
I don't have a good job

I don't feel welcome there I guess
So now I'm at the Starbucks

There are
A million programs
To choose from

I choose the emptiness
The emptiness is misunderstood

It lays low in silence

It is often mocked

Some choose to observe

Non self
They cannot understand

Emptiness cannot
Be described
Cannot be quantified
Or qualified

Is it limitless
And nameless

I see the same
Empty world

People acting
In an empty world

Consciousness the true reality
They spend their energy
To acquire material goods
At the expense
Of their health

Blah blah blah blah
I've heard a bunch
Of randomness conversations

A million different faces
I go here
Then there

All the things
They want
And try to be

I let the emptiness
Envelop me

What a great system
Everything is already in place

No need to work
Let others
Be harvested by the system

I will go where I please
Do as I please

And everything is mine
The house
The cars

I'm feeling fine

Why would I want
To work 50 hours a week?
And become a slave

He was always
"Working hard"
But he's just blabbing on a phone

Yep
Don't care for the guy
Don't care
When he dies

Don't care
What others think
Don't care what they do

Yep, sure enough
I erased you

It's easy to push people away
And it makes me happy
On this day

Rock, paper scissors
Which one is it?
It's your decision

And no matter what you choose

You're goin' to live it

Maybe the song is saying
We all have a path to choose
Decisions to make

No matter what we choose
We are going to live it

True words
Life is full of decisions

Have yourself a
Merry Little Christmas
Some modern version

Playing in the background
Quite obnoxious

Here I am at Starbucks
Things don't add up

I'm alone
I stopped at Ralph's
To get my protein bars

Before that I watched
An hour or so
Of fight videos
At the library

And well
This is life?

I can only occupy one place
At one time

And it's all so strange
Is it real?

Not sure how
To explain how
I feel

A different time
A different place
A different voice
A different face

But it's all the same
To me

This place is like a matrix

What an idiot
With half a brain

Nothing intelligent to say

Just meaningless and the same

There is such and such
In the fridge....

I know
That's where the food is

You must be one of
the most obnoxious
And repetitive people
I have ever known

Shut your **** mouth
You rarely have anything
Worth listening to

How are you he asks?

What a stupid question

They ask how I am
Because they don't understand

They sit in front of a television for hours
They have the old American consciousness

I am empty
The rhinoceros' tusk has no place to enter

I inhabit a different realm

You do not know the tao
The tao is wise mother

I always thought that was
A stupid question

Tired of this place
Tired of no jobs

Notice I do not ask how you are
Because I do not care

I wish you well
But stay away from me
Stay away

I am a full grown eagle
Trapped inside this little American home

There are no jobs
The dog is barking
He falls asleep in front of the television

Hahah
He is just repeating the same cycle

I go to the mountains
The mountains do not bother me
And ask how I am

If I lived on earth for a hundred million years
Never ever ever would you know how I am

I know how you are
You are a body high on pills
Drugs you put into your body
Every week
To give you some kind of false "high"

I do not take pills
Nor will I ever

You could
Have just told me
There were small bugs
Eating the rice

Instead of moving
All my things

And going
Through my room

I do not care
About you
At all anymore

Or if you get hit
By a truck

"I'm a woman
I have to clean"

*******,
Your ***
Has nothing to do with it

You have to clean
Because you are a lazy
Obnoxious human being

I will destroy every picture
I have of me

I don't care who else
Is in the ******* photo

Better not to fall in love
Or to be too close to someone
It's too risky

Besides
I was never that content with my body

So please ladies
Don't touch me
Or flirt with me

Stay away

I hate living here

There are no good jobs

You know I ate too much
I should have stopped with my two sausages and beans
Then I had the shortcake and milk
And peanutbutter

Geeze---
I guess I was trying to fill something
The loneliness, the emptiness

I just got a full stomach instead and I'm still alone

Went to college
Got one of these fancy smancy credentials
Took me 16 months to get

Still can't get me a job
Got student loans to pay
Stuck in my room
Been Livin' here since '97

Studied a lot of history
And philosophy
All types of courses

Still can't get my piece of the pie

Still was the night
As I stood in the driveway

Was that Bill on a walk ?
My neighborhood friend

Or was it someone else?

Quiet is this suburban neighborhood
Close to the mountains

Therapists Tell
You to have hope
And that things will be okay

Tell you you can meet a friend
Perhaps one day

And it's all
With good intentions

And yes I understand

I'm afraid no woman
Will ever be my friend

Forever alone
I am

Work to Pay Bills

No job
Still no job

A BA degree
And another 16 months of education
Still no job

The middle class is dwindling
Shrinking

How long will I go without finding a job?

I hate living in this home

Full of desires
And hopes
And on and on

Human beings
Strange creatures indeed

I don't care
About a "career"

I am just
"The guest teacher"

No official position
For me
No commitments

Why?
Oh it's much better
This way

I don't work
For a district

They hand me
The script
And I follow
The daily program

I'm a play actor
Playing a role

And I'm content
To be poor

Jesus was poor too

The love of money
Is the root of all evil

Stupid lazy person
Stupid and dumb
Sitting in front of the television
Until her life is done

Has a car she never earned
She'll never learn
To do anything
For anyone

A stupid lazy person
Yes, I have to live with one

America *****
I need more bucks
******* economy
I need more money

Don't ever want
To see these people again

Just want enough to
Share an apartment

This country is a lie
A big fat lie

No American dream for
Most Americans
A very small minority
Have all the wealth

Young Americans
Can't get their own apartment

Everyone knows living with
Your parents at 30
Is bad for your health

I hate this stupid home
And the people living here

And with all my education
I find it quite queer
There is no full time job
No chance to make it on my own

F** this economy
And this stupid home

I am still standing
I am not tired
I do not rest

I do my duty
I have iron will

I do not need a hug
I do not require sympathy

One day I learned
That I lived in a computer

Remember the stoic calm
All these things around me

And all these situations
These busy bodies
Getting angry

It's all the same to me

And I learned to never let
People hurt me

I'm still open to
Companionship
Perhaps one day
We will see

Though the sage would never be transported with delight
He would still feel an abiding joy
In the presence of the true and only good
He would never indeed would be agitated by desire
But still he would be animated by wish
For that was directed only to the good
And though he would never feel fear
Still he would be actuated in danger by a proper caution

There was therefore something rational
Corresponding to three out of four primary passions
Against delight was to be set joy
Against grief there was nothing to be set
For that arose from the presence of ill
Which would rather never attach to the sage
Grief was the irrational conviction
That one ought to afflict oneself
Where there was no occasion for it

The ideal of the stoics was the unclouded serenity of socrates

Stupid people
Have to announce
Everything they think
Or do

As if anyone cares

It's either
"I'm going to walk the dogs"

"There's food out here"

Silence!

Dinner is on the table
And she will say
"You are welcome to
Help yourself"

It's for everyone that salmon....

She says
And I know fish is good for my health

You don't need to announce
The dinner

i have eyes to see
Just cook the food
And let things be

Every small thing was announced
But nothing much
Was ever really done

I don't understand
Why you chose to do
very little of anything

Just lazy or dumb?

Why do they repeat
The same things
Over and over

It's really obnoxious
Ever thing they do
They repeat

She announces
They are going to church

I don't care
What you are doing
Where you are going

You waste your life
Watching television

Doing nothing

Why do you announce
Where you are going?

"Have a nice day"
Is all she repeats
Then watches Fox news
In the middle of a day

Stop wishing me a nice day
You are so stupid
It's not "nice"

Because I can't find a job
I'm broke