Here we go again
14 months
No money and no job

Goodbye
American dreams

Hello poverty and survival

After I pay off the credit card this month

I guess I'll buy some new running shoes
And a kettlebell

Goodbye Brangelina
I hardly knew ye

What I learned
About you
I just read
In a small article

Angelina has filed
For divorce
Citing Brad's ****
And alcohol problems
As well as
His parenting methods

As the reason for divorce

Celebrity marriages
Often are short lived

And yours was no exception

Goodbye Brangelina
I guess things
Just weren't meant to be...

Is anything being solved in therapy?
Who knows
Maybe I am just making it into a big role play scenario now

I like role plays
Real life becomes blended with fantasies

I want to find a mistress one day
I wish I could have been an attractive woman
Not a guy that women always ignore

Ah well
Except things the way they are
The struggles
The battles
It is all so real

This is earth
We are fighting

Here I go again
To the driving range
Hitting it so well

I am always the last to leave the driving range
The game
Maybe I never felt love

I love golf
It is always there for me
Not like people
They just pretend I think

The suffering
To live is to suffer
Says the Buddha

It's okay though
Suffering gives my life meaning
My spirit is strong

We don't have partners
We love ourselves
And pleasure ourselves

We are alone
And used to it

We make ourselves ***
And isn't it fun

Good Morning
My fellow masturbators

Eeeek!
Amazon charged me twice

Now only $1.41
In my bank account and that's no fun

No money for gas
So I walk everywhere now
Like a grazing cow

lol

Got my headphones
And that is great

Another day alone
I'm used to this now

I enjoy podcasts

But sometimes wish
I had a female companion

I'm just like any man really
I got what every man has
A heart that beats strong

Get my heart rate up to about 170
When I'm running or jogging

Always run on an incline
I don't look like much
Not that strong or big
I don't take much pride in my body

Just a plain earth body
But it's how much heart you have

Still there is something about me

I can just run and run and
I don't seem to get tired
I didn't even sleep last night

I'm looking out for me
And I'm surviving

And I still can't pay the bills
And I'm 30!
And I have lived in this home for 17 years
Got $237 dollars in the bank account
****!  lol

I'm just happy I have a car
And food to eat
I'm not looking to get rich

One thing
One thing I always tried to be good
To be kind to people
To show love to people

I'm just a man
But I'm good

Hard times are coming I think
Hard hard times are coming for America

Tons and tons of military equipment coming into Barstow
FEMA camps everywhere
National guard units training in the streets of Ontario

The people seem to be oblivious
The economy teeters on the brink

Well I have always been alone
Alone and poor

Searching for something
Some fulfillment
A meaningful job

I don't know
Dang here we go again
How many years without a job?

Oh You Should have seen me
I wish you could have been there
To enjoy this show with me

I was at a favorite park of mine
I lay on the grass
Just to pass the time

An asian lady
With her two small dogs
That came to play

I was content and feeling gay

Then a man with
A bigger dog
Came along

This rhyming poem
Becomes a song

One small dog
Followed the man
Out of the park

The owner called to her dog
So it wouldn't be lost in the dark

Then the man encouraged it
To return to its owner

Before she had a fit

The small dog eventually
Turned around

And followed
The asian lady
And its companion dog
Back to town

The Asian lady
Did not wave
Or say thank you
In any way

She just turned
And walked away

People can be aloof
And a bit cold
She must have been
At least 30 years old

I just laughed
And thought it sad

Then I returned
To my pad

How is the Greek government going to pay its bills without any money?

How are the insolvent Greek banks going to operate without any money?

How is the Greek economy going to function without any money?

Hey hey
Look at me
Green shirt and glasses
So ****

Lol
Well I think so anyhow

Human life is interesting
We just do what we do

First comes one
And then comes two

The times they come
The times they go

All we have is the times
That's human life
Don't you know

And what are your governing principles
That guide you each day?

Be kind and caring
With other people
Is what many religious texts say

It's 10:34
And life
What a beautiful bore

I am not a productive
Worker

I just got out
Of the shower

Move like a sloth
Dragging my feet

First a grapefruit
Then an orange to eat

And money
So funny

Who really cares?

Love being poor

So be it
So there

She is an elegant young woman
And she writes beautiful haikus

This haiku she wrote
Had special meaning for me

I began to really care
For my therapist

She was so kind and caring
A wonderful woman
Humanity would be lost
Without women

Hailey wrote:

"Its so simple for
a heart to break in two, yet
laborious to heal."

I agree, it does take time.

Thank you for this
Lovely haiku Hailey

I reflected on the time
I spent with her
I am healing too

I still hope to meet
That loving female
Companion one day

I hope you have
A wonderful day Hailey

She squeezed his *****
And wasn't it fun
To make that 8 inch *****
Spurt thick, warm, and gooey ***

She said with a grin,
"Yummmm"

He showed humanity the way
It's the same
Any time
Any place

It's so easy
Don't you see?

Just show love to others
Even to those who hate you

But the world doesn't understand love
And man crucified our Savior

It's all so simple

There is great power in love

Just love others
Forgive others

It feels great
It is a simple message to understand

Blessed are those who have not yet seen
But still believe
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven

Life is just a test
Can you learn to live with love in your heart?

Happy Friday
The email was signed

How is today
Any different than
Monday?

It's not

There is no
Fun party

Or girlfriend

Or anything different
About today

Just another day

Thankful to live in America
While it is still safe
And peaceful

One day it may not be

Well
Happy Friday
Or whatever

I'll be in my room alone again
Watching my show

Oh well
I suppose life
Is just a ****** deal

Yes I have a cracked screen
On my computer and iphone

But I am content to be alone

Chipping golf *****
Is what I do

Hopefully there will always be
Enough food for me and you

It would be wise to prepare
To have a year or two of food stored
In my cupboards there

They have only a few months stored
And it is not wise

Prepare for terrible times
Or meet your demise

And isn't everything going great
Until one day the illusion
Of a stable economy is shattered

It began with
*******

A powerful black man
And a hot babe
Making passionate love

It made me have a strong ******

I can't quite remember
What I had for breakfast

I ended up doing
Quite a few dishes this morning

I ran three miles
At the gym
And did some
Other exercises there

I left the gym at two
And pulled up to the house
Said goodbye to a house guest
Who had stayed for two days

Then I was off
Off for my Thanksgiving drive

And isn't it beautiful
Isn't it wonderful
To see Americans
Celebrating Thanksgiving

As I drive up one street
A family barbecues
On the front lawn
Smoke rising in the air

I drive through
My favorite mountain
Suburb

There are many walkers
Out this Thanksgiving afternoon

A man leaves
What I believe
Is his father's home

I see them part

I see a group of men
And women
Well dressed

Walking together

I play classical music
In my car
And play it loudly
So they can hear

I hope they think
"Why that is lovely"

Emotional I am
In my car

Not wanting to be
In my own home
On Thanksgiving

Having lived there
Since 1997
I've had all the family time
I could ever want

So it's good
It's wonderful
To be alone
On this Thanksgiving

I wonder what it would
Be like
To join these people
On their walk
Beneath the trees
In this beautiful neighborhood

I drive by and see
What I think is a father
Say goodbye to his son

I look at the father
On his front lawn
And he waves

Kind of him
To do so
I wave back

As if he might know
That I wish
I had friends
To spend
This day with

A man
Also stopped me
As he walked by
And asked for directions

I gave him directions
I asked him how he was
And wished him
A Happy Thanksgiving
He wished me
A Happy Thanksgiving as well

I don't know what "happy" is
And yet I say it
Like some line
From a hallmark greeting card
But my intention was good

I guess a happy Thanksgiving
For me would have been
To have a dinner
With some friends

Or to play croquet
Or another lawn game

Like the games I saw people
Playing on their front lawns
Underneath the beautiful trees
In this mountain suburban
American neighborhood

And as I drove
I saw people of different
Ethnicities

African American, Asian
And Caucasian

And they were enjoying the day
Living in peace

And I felt grateful to live here
In this country

And I thought to myself
I hope we are always
At peace like this

Because difficult
And trying times
Often come

I don't care
Much about money

I do as I please

One day
The economy
Will collapse

I watch a man repeat
The same actions
Over and over

Like a hamster
On a wheel

It's the money
They love
Most of all

Money is the root
Of all evil

They hate me
Because I'm poor

They would hate Jesus too

If He lived now
And asked him to
Give up his possessions
And follow HIm

He would get
Some response
Like
"Time Is Money"

My oh my

This rock ball
Keeps spinning around the sun

Remember
Ultimately I don't think the therapists care
At all about me

They just want my money
That goes into their account

The world
Is a terrible place

More questions
More pain

More emptiness
More loneliness

Rely on yourself
Believe in yourself

The world is a terrible place

The value of the dollar descends
Not a good time
To be having kids
Not a good time at all

But people keep having them
Just think of their kids future
As a debt slave

We are tired
I am tired
Of this life
That brings such pain

And where am I going now
To the gym again
Soon
I won't even be able to afford belonging there

There are no jobs in California you know
Even for people with an education like me

All I know is that I'm strong
A hundred years alone
I'm strong

I don't need your love
Your sympathy or concern

People that are always smiling
******* annoy me
Well I'm glad you are so ******* happy

Are you putting on a show?
You think you are better than me
Because you have more money
And that fake smile on your face

I have a heart full of emptiness
A heart beating strong

And when things go wrong
Go terribly wrong
I won't cry and scream
And panic like all these stupid *****

Rely on myself
Believe in myself
The end of the Age

Nobody Cares
So stop crying
I guess I'll ask Jesus to help
He's quite some guy
He knows what a **** hole this place is

The end of America
The end of our nation
It's happening

It's coming
Get ready
Get ready for hard times
For mean times

Battlefield earth
Motherf**!

World economies teetering on the edge
ISIS threats
Enemies armed with nuclear weapons

Fukishima radiation
Illegal immigration and Overpopulation

Terrorists cross the unguarded U.S. border
Passing throug a Texas range
Don't forget droughts, food scarcity and climate change

I figure it's likely
Somthing terrible is bound to happen
In this nation

When war comes
Not a matter of if
But when

History repeats
Itself
Again and again

Have to stay fit
Have to stay thin

The food supply
Will dwindle down

Perhaps U.N. troops
Will be occupying our towns

Those muscle bound men
WIth so much mass
It will be harder
For them to last

There will be
Barely enough to eat

I will be grateful to
Own many pairs of good socks
And good running shoes
On my feet

I have two can openers too
Just look what I can do

Our own supply will last a month
Or two
After that, we are just plain *******

If I could save up enough money
I would buy more

For there are terrible times
In store

The glow of the smart phones
Lulls them away
Living in a dream world

But there is trouble today

America broke
And at her end
This economy will not mend

Dig your holes deep
Pile earth and wood
Exposure to radiation
Is no good

If there is a war
I just hope

That there are no
Nuclear bombs

They are no joke

They took everything
For granted
Here in America

The cars, the abundant food
The convenience

And they thought it would always be
That way

I don't think that will be the case

There is a hard time on the way

"Have A Good One"
Is often said

In my life
I feel often dread

"Have a good one"
Is Often Said

I'm tired
Of feeling this way

Seems nothing
Will ever be okay

"Have a Nice Day"

Is just a general expression
For having a day

What do you get when you put
Thirty years of "nice days" together?

You get a "nice life"
A life without
Challenges

An unfulfilling life

I'm sorry Lord
For the evil thoughts I had
Full of hatred

Forgive me Lord
A miserable sinner
Have mercy on me
And pardon me

I didn't mean those thoughts
These repeating cycles
Get frustrating at times

These sinful thoughts
I am afraid I may have again
Have mercy on me Lord
A sinner

Yes I fear judgement
And I pray that I will treat my neighbor with love
And love my neighbor as myself

I try to do what is right
Forgive me Jesus, a sinner

Everyday
The taxi driver
Must drive the
Most dangerous

Highway in Afghanistan
The Taliban attacks
American convoys
Civilians are often
Killed in the crossfire

His family calls
Worrying when he
Does not make it
Home on time

One time he had
No other choice
But to drive straight
Through the fire

Of course this is the
Only work he can do

The small Hindu family
Cannot educate their children
The women cannot walk
Outside without a man
Accompanying them
They are too poor
They have no future
In Afghanistan

A war torn nation
Life is difficult
For Afghanistan

Life is going to get
Much more difficult
For Americans now

Engine: 2x Daimler Benz 601 A-1
Max Speed: 247 mph at 16,400 feet
Service Ceiling: 26, 250 feet
Range 1,224
Armament: 3-6x 7.9 mm machine guns
Bombload: 4410 lbs

Well armed
But underpowered and slow

Why should I care
About money

I am content
Living in this suburban home

I tried to get a decent job

Besides this bed is comfortable
I may not have money
But I've succeeded in other ways

I am kind and caring
And I told the guy in his eighties
That walks on my street
It was good to see him

I'm not sure if he heard me today

On his daily walk on my street
America
Is on the decline
No one
Has much of a future here

I wonder when the collapse will come?
Perhaps in a few months

A year or two
Who knows

The FED may keep
Printing and printing

But the market will correct itself

And it's great to lie on this bed
Why work for a dollar
That is so devalued

I say hello
To all the poets
Out there in internet land

Thank you for your writing
I enjoy it so much

I wave "Hi"
From my bed

Clean sheets and
A clean comforter today

Hooray

People across the globe
Are enjoying my poetry

Well that is really
Something else

Maybe just a few
But that is exciting to me

I see people
I hear sounds
But these people
Don't talk to me

Where are they going?
And what are they doing?
Who knows

Some have work
In the morning

While others will stay
Up late
For a hot and steamy
Night of college ***

Good to know
That that turkey wrap
Can be relied upon

Quality turkey
And spinach

Nigel the dog
Has his own twitter

He is owned by Monty Don
British television presenter
Writer and speaker
On horticulture

I jump from one thought
To the next

The ideas have
No connection

Just as a day
Is remembered
In small segments

Random
And usually disconnected

Hello...
I'm Matt
31 Cali bicurious

Reaching out
To people
On chat sites

Because I don't have
Many friends

I'm kind
Loving
And a good person

I also find this existence
Quite lonely

Care to chat?

Hello Gollum
Over there

Eating fish
Without a care

I have an ugly body too
With my akward shoulder
I've learned there is nothing
I can do

An imbalanced body
Is a terrible thing
For a man of Tao

Let us eat
Our cooked fish now

There is a woman
Named Sumina
Who is from Kathmandu

Hope you have a good day
Your poetry is beautiful
And so are you

"Hello There"

I May say
If I were to meet
You on any day

What a strange man
I might seem to be

And maybe
I'll give it a try

To show you
Something reminiscent
Of the love
Jesus showed to me

I'm just a guy
With an akward shoulder
I like to lay about in parks

And sometimes
All too often
These dachshunds
Will make a loud bark

Laughing to myself
Going a bit insane

What is this life?
Just a silly game

Drinking my Chamomille tea
Soon I may have to ***

It's the same for loving people
Like you and me
The grave awaits the body
But may our good souls fly free

There are some things
I find ridiculous
And arrogant person

There is
The big know it all
With their doctorate degrees
Piled high

And I think that
Is wonderful
They are so bright
And smarter than me

But if you're so smart
Just keep it to yourself

Just please
Be modest please

And then there are
The busy bodies
Like wind up toys

Wound up like those
Little mechanical drummers

Wind one up
And watch the figurines
Play on their little drums

They march around frantically
And watch them fall over
When they are done

Relax please
Take a deep breath

You know I never
Bought into
A 40 hour work week

I wonder what
People think of me

Well you can call me lazy
Just don't call me dumb

Read and listened to
Many things
And isn't it fun

Saw that Muslim woman
Bow down and pray
Underneath the spring sun

Too much wine
Has got me feelin' fine!
No I'm not drunk

But feelin' some funk

Listening to bluegrass now

A few minutes ago
I picked up Wally our dachsund
Waved his paw at ma

Oh what a show!

Wally says hello
Yes our dachsund says hello

I wave his little paw
Hello there folks he says

Don't be shy
Give pettin' him a try!

Hello

Tonight I will watch
Star Trek
The Next Generation

Something about that series
I enjoy

The adventures
They go on

I would enjoy
Traveling through
The galaxy

Earth can be
A lonely place

Maybe I'll meet
A female friend
One day

Hopefully there
Won't be a big war
But seems like there
Could be

It's fun
To fail
At most everything

It's fun
To be a financial failure

Fun to fail
At making friends

Dull and miserable
Sitting under a tree

No one cares
And no one
Notices me

I say hello
To the world
And let things be

Oh Henry
What a star you are!
You always loved to be at the center of attention

Your accomplishments in diplomacy are well known
You brokered the peace treaty between Israel and Egypt
You effected detente with the Soviet Union
You opened up the way for Nixon in China
You negated the Communist threat in Chile

You said it yourself      
"Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”

You have admitted that mistakes were
"Quite possibly made"
By administrations in which you served.

You have questioned whether, 30 years after the event,
"Courts are the Appropriate means by which determination is made".

And Cambodia Henry?
You were complicit
In the illegal carpet bombing of neutral Cambodia
Which sowed the seeds for the murderous Pol *** regime

Pinochet was indicted for human rights violations

Diplomacy is a ***** business
You did what you thought needed to be done

You remain cold and secretive
Do you have any remorse or regret?

The old Russian proverb is wrong Henry
Time does not heal all wounds

There is blood on your hands

Here then there
There and here

From one point to another
I find life amusing

The debit card
Went off "without a hitch"

The receptionist said
I caught a bit of snarkiness in her tone

But I remembered the Tao Te Ching
"Return Bitterness With Care"

Haha
The more I live
The more I see the great value in this text


Well, it's not my fault
The bank put up the fraud prevention
Because she had to void
A transaction and try again

And what is this life
And what is it about
I've found it to be one big program

And people have their big egos
And they want to drive Mercedes Benz
And they get worked up over money
And it's all just a bunch of nonsense

And they spend their whole lives working
To get a big house
And then spend most of their time in maybe
Two or three rooms, lol

Maybe one day I will have mobile home
And drive across the country
My shoulder is a bit better

But my left side is still a bit larger
Than my right
And it's okay

People have much worse disabilities
Anyway

So just be grateful
Let's not complain
Nobody survives
Life the game

In the end our physical bodies die
But not our souls
If you give love a try

Love one another
Do unto others
As you would have them do unto you

Be like the nourishing water
It's good for you

The sage has no mind
Of his own
But loves the whole world
As his own self

I don't work
And I don't care

Yep, others pay my bills
I cost about thirteen grand a year

Never bought into work
I have better things to do

Hot babes at Starbucks

If we ever do move out
It will be into a home
With a guest house

I'm 32 tomorrow
That old guy sitting
Parallel to me
Kept staring

It's all some type
Of automatic program

Poor work slaves
Material world
An illusion

I'll just watch my lecture
On Islamism
Here at Starbucks

Here I am
On the front lawnOf the local library
No one cares that i exist here

They simply walk
And drive
And look at their phones

And so I sit
All alone

One of the most loving
Most kind people

That ever lived

Oh well

Remember your training!
Shouts the sergeant
Man those bugs are ugly

I am watching clips from Starship Troopers

And how heroic you are
Sergeant Sugar Watkins

You stayed and fought

To the bitter end

To save your friends

Different times
And different places
Different names
And different faces

His dull expression
Remained the same

Welcome to life
Some type of game

A plain earth body
Oh so dull

He eats the food
Until he is full

A life spent wandering
Underneath trees

Barely any money
That's okay with mke

Hello again Gollum
Sitting over there

Now I know sometimes
Life seems sad and stupid
And it feels like no one really cares

But everyone has their part to play
Remember what Gandalf said

Let's cook this fresh salmon
And enjoy it with some of
Bilbo's freshly baked bread

Hopes and dreams
And blah blah blah

Most everything
They told me was wrong

I like to be alone

I'm not interested
In hearing others opinion
Of me

Why don't these people
Just *******?

I'm 32
I live at home

People do not understand
Emptiness

The world is emptiness
They spend their lives
Working like slaves

The infrastructure
Was already there

Born into a wealthy country
I don't need any more things

No No No
No No No
No No No

No to the work week

Wandering Wandering
I have reached 32

This is not a face
That will ever be loved
By a woman

By this point I have watched
Thousands upon thousands
Of hours of documentaries

Try to obtain a deep knowledge
On a particular subject
And study it in depth

For me it will be Afghanistan
From the Soviet Era
To the present

Well another lonely night
At Starbucks

Lol
The obnoxious music
Plays in the background

I'm not ordering a **** thing
Just here for the Internet

Wasn't it ******
And wasn' it fun
When I ****** my *****
This morning
And made it have a big ***

I listened to discussions on
The Reconstruction, Aristotle and Aquinas

I had a can of tuna for lunch
I hit the ball so well at the range

And I cried a bit
When I thought of my therapist and her smile
When I thought of her laugh
And the love she showed me

It's okay though
She may be gone physically
But the love she showed me lives in me

After hitting *****
I came home and it began to pour!
How wonderful is the rain

Had some frozen corn
Boiled it in a ***

I called my friend
And we talked about how the clippers are winning

It's cold in Reno!
In the twenties my friend said

Now I'm boiling pasta
As I record the last lecture on Aristotle

My love goes out to
All the poets
At Hello Poetry

A highly unmotivated
Individual

I think I'll go down
To Marshall's

To buy
2 pairs of shorts

And some socks

Perhaps some boxers  
Too

Maybe then I'll go read
The Bible in the nature park

America is doomed

First I went on a hike in the canyon
I made sure that my stone message
Was still in tact

I saw a woman who I often see working out at my gym
A beautiful asian woman and her dog
I bet she would love my companionship
I would love to give her oral pleasure

I made sure that my stone message
Was still in tact
"There are four lights"
A testament to man's ability to reason
Captain Picard was tortured

He was promised a life of ease
And luxury
If he would change his answer
He would rather live as a slave
Then be a non rational being

There are four lights!
Picard, my hero

My stone inscription
Is a testament to your dedication to reason
Man's ability to reason comes from God, the source.

I emerged from the canyon
Walking with my hiking sticks
And went for a relaxing drive
As I am often prone to do

There is something sacred about the evening
I would say it is my favorite time of day
I wound my way up into upper Altadena

I saw a woman walking her dog
I made my way back down and reached Lake
Then headed west of Lake

I saw a woman pulling up to her residence
She emerged from her car
What a beautiful body she had
I hope I find a mistress like her one day

There is something sacred about the Tao
I like to observe
A man on his bike made his way past me
And followed my route back toward Pasadena

I ended up in Best Buy
Still enjoying my podcast
About British colonies during the American Revolution

It is fun to wander
No particular purpose
No rhyme or reason
Just to wander
And listen to my podcast

I very much enjoy the Tao
I enjoy observing everyday life

I got my hiking poles and made my way
Into the neighborhood
Parallel to the Best Buy parking lot

I saw a beautiful woman heading in to her house
As I walked by
And a few other men walking in the neighborhood

My how I love to go walking
Something ancient and beautiful about it
I think about the beauty of walking

Too many Americans waste time
Sitting in front of the television
They should tune in to reality
Tune in to mother earth
The Tao is wise mother

The Tao is just normal everyday consciousness
It is said that a man who understands the Tao
Can die content in the evening
Having observed the course of the day

One day I hope to go walking with a woman
A woman who cares for me
I am such a kind person

It would be a tragedy not to meet someone