Mac - Hello Poetry

Mac Mar 2018

Broken promises and worn out prayers
Hidden scars and faulty smiles
Fake drama and real pain
Suffocating cloths and toxic perfume
Heated debates and empty conversation

The halls a breeding ground for heartbreaking backstory bullies
A library filled with kids whose mouths are sewn shut
The Cafeteria full, but no ones eating
Basketball court of anger management and broken dreams
Girls bathroom mirrors covered in expectations
Boys yelling swear words, but long for a hug
The teachers break room with an emergency stash
And a principle on the phone slowly dying inside

School nice and tidy
Kids aren't too rough
But please look on the inside
Because everyone has had enough

Mac Mar 2018

A Kiss Given

My soul aches as our lips touch
it doesn't hurt because it's wrong
But the fact that it's right
The first right thing in my life for a while

Mac Mar 2018

If you greeted Death today

Every bite is taken with care
Always wondering when I'm going to die
And if I do
Even at this very moment
Would I be proud of how my body looks
Would others revolt that I didn't exercise enough
Or would they think that I was as beautiful as a flower
If the coroner looked inside my cold dead body
Would he see a slob or an anorexic
I don't deal with a disability
Only the demons in my mind
They scream and cry
Tell me to starve
But I have to wonder
If I died at this very moment
Would I be proud of my body

Would others know... that... I did care about living
That the Demons didn't win

I just wanted to bring some light to those who are dealing with obesity or anorexia. There are those like me who don't have a severe problem with it, but it is always nagging at our mind. Just know, no matter if you feel that your overweight, just remember that it is worse to give in to the temptation of starving your self or eating your feeling. I've personally done both, and what I've found is that the only way to overcome this is to realize that the best thing you can do for your self is to be healthy!

Mac Mar 2018

Empty

I want to be left alone,
But I want to be held
The problem is
There's no one to hold me

Mac Mar 2018

Hello Death

People say 'Treat others the way you want to be treated'
But I don't entirely believe in that philosophy
How about, treat others as if you were to die today
With death having been on my mind a lot
I often think of how others perceive me
That if I were to die (not would they care)
But what would they think
Does my voice ring in their ear like a fall breeze
Or does it cause pain like sand in a sandstorm
Do my words help heal wounds like a bandaid
Or do they split them open like a thornbush
Does my presence cause your heart to flutter
Or does it cause your heart to sink into your stomach
I want to die knowing I've done well to those around me
Never in a thousand years would I treat someone the way I want to be treated
Because I'm still waiting for that day when metal touches my skin
The **** of a trigger echoes in my ears
The boom of a fire silences everyone around
As I feel the bullet passes through my broken and stitched back together heart

Mac Mar 2018

Lips Sewn Shut

I've thought about it
You know
Showing my family my poetry
But that thought had a bad ending
My life is suffocating, painful, and hardly bearable
Because of this,
the demons inside my head like to make bad matters worse
My mind is like a metal box
It is just me inside
I've learned to position myself in just a way to be party comfy
But the second someone else enters,
everything I've positioned breaks
This isn't to say that I don't let people in, because I do
But the people I let into my life are very few
In fact
Only two
One happens to be my older sister
She is very wise and has been through a lot in her life
So she is the perfect person to talk to
The second person happens to be God
And I know what some of you may think
That he doesn't count as someone to talk to
But you're wrong
Without him, my life is like a sky with no stars
I have no purpose
And when I do find a star in the sky
Something to work toward
It turns out to be an airplane
An image of something that will just pass me by
But he made the stars that are in the sky
The ones I can look up to and believe in something good
Maybe he isn't real,
I've had those thoughts
But to all who don't believe in something
Anything
Especially if it be God
I say this
Believing in something gives you purpose when nothing is left
When all good has been stripped
You can look at what you believe in and hold it close
My parents didn't rais me the way they should
Even if my mom tried her best
So every day has been a battle to keep myself from death
With God by my side,
the knife against my wrist can't make a single drop of blood spill
When my lips are sewn shut,
He is the one who can hear my thoughts
I'm 'not' trying to make you believe in God
I'm just trying to make you believe
Because with all this pain and sorrow in the world,
What good is living if your not living for something

Mac Mar 2018

Lost Girl

You know those movies where there is someone who can read minds?
They are able to know what everyone is thinking?
That person usually does the coolest things with his power
Except at the end, he kills himself

You see, I have a power kinda like that
Except I feel what others feel
There was this girl I met once
This is how it went

The second she walked through the door, here overwhelming presence of pain and lost dreams collide over me like a tsunami
And she spoke, knives of steel spit from her tongue slice into my lings letting in more of the water
As we go to shake hands, the poison from the blade she once held drips onto my skin burning like acid
Every faulty statement and untrue word is like a **** to my head
She tried to cover up her scars with a smile that fades when the lights are out, and a personality made up of broken promises
If you were to meet her, you'd fall in love
But to look inside her mind is like opening Pandora's box
I smiled and waved as the last of her words ripped my heart apart

With the last of her presence leaving the room
I wake stretching for breath
Opening my eyes to find I'm in my room
Realizing I've just met myself