I am nervous
wading into the still,calm waters that are too calm
on this starry night,
moving gently in the breeze beckoning me near
these waters will betray me with its treachery
telling me its safe, as it sways gently
being the home to lots of things that could **** me

I am nervous
but I am hip deep with the waters
and they are still calm, daring me to come closer
keep wading, keep going, your almost near
and then I hear it
the song that kills thousands before me
telling me it's ok, just let go and come to me

Before I realize it
I am neck deep in,and can no longer feel the bottom of the shore
yet I cannot resist the urge and she sings another ballad
telling me to swim closer and be calm
I obey.
swimming towards the crimson horizon
that is in the process of transforming to dawn
then I see her,on a jagged rock, the beautiful woman who calls out to me
singing me to my death, towards her
and when she giggles her giggle is melodic in my ears
making me happy that I had followed
She then jumps off the rock, and I know she is swimming to claim me
As she pulls me down and swims with me to the deepest depths
I also now know, there is no saving me

Long ago there was a Princess
who never did really think about her Prince
she just hoped he was good-looking and kind, and loved her for who she is.
keep her out of trouble, and when they share true loves first kiss
it'll last forever, just like in Disney classics

True love was always in the first kiss shared
that is when the magic happens  and sparkles surrounds her in the air
Animals sing as the two of you dance away without a care
and then the screen goes black leaving you with the innuendo that the love will always be there

This princess didn't care when her prince would show up.
Just keep living with all the colors of the wind like Pocahontas, growing up
and I just can't wait to be queen, now where is her real life version of Timon and Pumbaa,
to help her run away from dangerous stuff?

She can't live like Cinderella, cleaning up after all others
and her foot is a common size, because the shoes she wears is sometimes her mother's.
She could cut her hair and go into the military, so that it can make a man out of her
and maybe her reflection would be of her being the fairest and bravest of them all

Instead she'd stand tall
fashioning an escape like Rapunzel
to find her
happily ever after, once and for all

You are just groupies to me
smile as you bow to my feet
take pleasure in pleasing me
take delight in me
get used to being under me
everytime you see me
bow
i am your leader
get used to being subordinates
that will never meet my rank
no matter how hard you try
you will fail.
I am this position for a reason
bow
I am not self proclaimed
I am not by any standards going to claim myself divine
the name was given, title,and position and power
that I do not know what do to with
so to you, because you hate me, scorn me, and wish me badlucks
get on your knees as you drag you heavy chains on the ground before yourself
and I expect you to not speak unless spoken to
and when you do,address me as Queen.

Sitting here writing some of my most inner thoughts and feelings
with the padlock closeby, I am scrawling in red ink in that I visualize as blood
my inner thoughts and understandings of life
while the clock ticks away the meaningless minutes I have wasted into writing about my days

I have wrote about my happiness and wrote about my saddness
the things that makes me cry and wish I would die
and the motives of why I even stay alive
I told about the day I tried blasting my brains out, but couldn't pull the trigger to try

I've told about the man I murdered
He'd shared with me everything and I couldn't bare him finding out who or what I was
Now his blood screams from the ground, crying out to me
and I take up alcoholism as a job, a worthwhile profession to comfort me

I have told about the pregnant ******* prom night
who was stuck, wasting away wishing she could party that night
who was thinking about self aborting her child, motherhood she dared to fight
until she felt her son kick and she sobbed, tears that she tried to fight

I have told about my first love
my first kiss and how I felt higher and more pure than a dove
i told about my grandmother and how she taught me that "god is love"
switching to blue ink now, because blue is for peace

I signed my name at the bottom of each page
saying that I have become stronger with each turn of the page
I no longer feel that I have to shove the whole canister of anti-depressants down my ribcage

I wrote with red ink scrawled in blood
that was full of agony,anger, and regret
Finished in blue because I found a happy place,peace, and acceptance
I lock the padlock onto it, in order to protect my secrets
and I stop the clock by taking out the batteries to remind me that my life isn't ruled by human time
and I smile as I look into the fireplace, at my book of secrets, finally erased.