(i mean i just grab it without asking, it's fine. it was 11 years ago and i'm such a totally different person now)

(because, locker rooms)

(and other totally fine things to say)


seems to be that
everyone just adores
bold
honest
g r a n d s t a n d i n g

tell it like it
*****-******* IS
kinds of folk

ask and
  you
shall
    receive

bizzaro world
perspectives
on the
truth
unite!

can't you
see
how bad
you got it?

i mean
christ,
it's practically
syria up
in here

and no one
can save us
from ourselves
except
the man
(in quite the
real, actual,
literal kind of way)
that sits
on a golden toilet

because he's great. i mean
there are people, and all the
people say. i'm a good guy, ok?
everyone would agree
and i'm gonna say this, but i
don't want to say it, but oh good
lord i'm gonna say it anyway,
some of the people
wear pants. and it's like CHINA
and the people
pouring in and out i mean
it's a nightmare and look,
i have gold. gold. and oh man,
do i have lots of it.
all the people say. ask anyone.
everyone knows but no one
knows about all
the mexicans, and i'm
gonna build the best wall.
the best.

CHINA is the place
WITH THE BIG WALL, bro
they did it first

(just checking in...
     everyone still on board
          with all the honesty???)

oh good, good.
i knew you would love it
because, after all,
incoherent
rambling
disasters
of humanity
are your special
kind of specialty

oh prove me wrong.
please please please
prove me wrong.
there are facts,
hmmmm...how do i say,
real things
that really happened
that are documented
investigated
proved
things

that's a thing,
i'm telling you it is.
a real thing.

there are words,
like all over the place
explaining things.

to be honest
this was not a thing
i always knew,
so if you didn't know,
now you do
because i'm
telling you.

i grew up
in a big old
jesus storm
gods and
morals
and justice
and things are
right or things
are wrong.

but an education
does something to you.
an education in art.
in love.
in knowledge.

the world is
not small.
not everyone
is white.
not everyone
believes in
jesus.
not everyone
eats meat.
not everyone
loves boys.
not everyone
loves girls.
not everyone
has freedom.
not everyone
has a voice.

listen
and learn.
read
and learn.
make art
and learn.

we are not sheep.
but we are also not
a people who hate.

and when we
do hate,
as we always
ineveitably do,
and then it is
brought to our attention
that our hatred is
asinine
nonsensical
unfair

we stop
doing that thing.
once we see the error,
we stop.

we do not
keep going
blindly
ignorant
and full
of fear

we stop.
we correct.
we adjust.
we admit when
   we are wrong.
       and that is
       the only thing
       that makes us great.

my heartbreak is
an exquisite
python

veins purple and
all the parts see
and all the parts feel

and something
sweeter than *****
or deeper than
crimson

and all the stars
and all the scars

a beautiful map
i feel a
circle in
the center

pulling tightly
in, like the
invisible ***
the transit
of a sin
wife of
melancholy

overt the
sublime and
aftertaste
blow the
smoke out and
smite me
bite me
fantasize me

even the outside
obtrudes
and is
generally inspired

it is my
graduation
*******

the horse of
the hegemony
has let us go

i don't know if
he's hiding in
the yellows

or riding
the green grass

and each
shadow whisper falls
in a cylone of
wit and reverie

a world of your choosing
a tower of
ecstasy spikes
and cloudless
sisterhawks roll

i can see where all the words
are supporsed to be
but you must trust me
even if some of the letters are wrong

sympathic geometry
when the sounds
come out nice

and i can see the
depth of
my treachery and it
is wild and blue.

i wish i was better
at being angry.

like taking a baseball bat
to her car kind of angry...
feeling the weight of the swing and
watching the glass shatter.

like standing outside
his place and
shrieking
obscenities,
whipping stones
at the windows
kind of angry.

it's hard for me
to even feel anger.
i default to
confusion,
sadness,
disappointment.

what i wouldn't give
to just be
furious
and unleash it
on the world
in a hellish firestorm
for the first time in my life.

but i don't know how.
i only know how to be
cryptic and weird.
ramble on and then
sulk in silence.
scribble and type
and look around
in suspicion.

i wish people
shrunk in terror
from me,
but if wishes were horses,
beggars would ride.