Lumin Guerrero

Lumin Guerrero May 6

My heart beats
beats                                       BEATS               beats
            beats  beats                    BEATS
       BEATS                          beats                BEATS
an unrhythmic beat

Just a sip
and my heart wants to skip
a couple of pumps
and add a couple of thumps

I bought myself a cup
just to keep up with the lecture
but now with this unrhythmic   beat   beat          beat
I’m wishing I’d skipped the caffeinated treat.

Caffeine has been giving me heart palpitations and I have no idea why, but it’s actually awful. I’ve been drinking coffee since I was a toddler, aren’t you meant to build a tolerance?? My only other choice is falling asleep in class…

Lumin Guerrero Apr 27

I wish I felt sad

Then, at least, I would be able to cry
I would feel something
something human
something real

Then, at least, my hurt would be real
I would be real
someone real
"one"

Lumin Guerrero Apr 27

inside and out

I thought
           I thought
                               maybe
      if i
hurt
                       on the          outside
then it would
stop hurting
                      so much
                   so much
on.the.inside.

not working
      not working
                 why does
nothing
*******
work?

#sh

Lumin Guerrero Apr 26

Untitled

They say crowdedness is suffocating
I think loneliness is drowning.

Deprived of all but your own thoughts
As you sink deeper and deeper
Into the depths of your mind

Lumin Guerrero Apr 23

Take me, Grim Reaper

The Grim Reaper stands at the foot of my bed
antagonizingly.

It just stares.
Straight.
At.
Me.

I was once scared of it’s dark essence and great scythe,
So I never dared look back.
I thought,
Maybe if I didn’t see it,
It would just go away.

It didn’t go away.

The Grim Reaper looms at the foot of my bed
agonizingly.

Staring.
Straight.
At.
Me.

I’m being tortured,
I can’t sleep or live in peace
I don’t know
Why its here,
What it wants from me,
When it would take me away,
Why it can’t just take me already
God, just get this over with and take me already!

…

Despite my cries and pleads,
He stood there.
Unfazed.

I swear, one day I will get up,
Grab His scythe,
And do His job myself.

Bit of a metaphor with suicide and religion
Acknowledge the pronoun change from “it” to “He”

#suicide #religion

Lumin Guerrero Apr 22

PDD

Sometimes I crave for addiction
Just to have something dependable,
Consistent.

I already have it though, don’t I?
As they said, if I wanted to stop being “sad”
Then I would just stop.

How can I, though?
This is safe, this is still.
This is pain.
This is me.
All I am.
All I’ll ever be.

The depression is “persistent” after all.
More persistent than I’m willing to be.

Lumin Guerrero Apr 22

Hide and Seek

I like to hide out in my mind
when the world is too much to handle.

It's safe in here.
Dark and serene.
No one to hurt me,
Nothing to fear.

Sometimes, though,
I’m hidden for too long.
I get too comfortable in here.
Too comfortable.

Ready or not, here I come!

If no one comes out to find me,
Seek for me,
Then I won’t be hiding.

I’ll be lost.

Don’t know how I feel about this one