I could once feel the softness of your face
upon my lips
and fingertips
when I closed my eyes

I inhaled as we kissed 'goodbye'
to hold onto a part of you
hoping and praying
it would remain within me
after you had gone

The taste of you upon my lips
soon faded,
now there's nothing left
except misty moments, few memories
and a deep ache that I'd miss
if it left

Do we have the same memories?
I wonder.
Do you even have room for them anymore?

Memories of you and me,
the me and you
that never was

I may be that girl
you see passing by
a cheeky grin
and a twinkle in her eye
That little smile
is really just for you
she'll gaze into your eyes
so you'll know it's true

Shaking that little *****
'coz everything's alright
greeting you each day
with a wave and a 'Hi!'
She hopes to make you feel great
with her good mood and delight

You may hear her coming
with her dainty sunkissed feet
slipped into flip flops
her painted toes look a treat
Sashaying by
in a floaty summer skirt
she's a 'people person'
not a naughty little flirt

She hopes to see you again
to give a wink and a saucy smile
It's to see you on your way
and remember
you're her favourite by a mile

; )

I'm
falling in
your sweet soul
like a floating feather.

Without you my heart slowly suffers.

Until I feel whole again
I will always remain.

Your sweet soul
I'll reside
always.

The story of my life
what will it be
You would think that at my age
a plan would be clear to see

I thought I had a direction
and was following my fate
so why do I feel in limbo
or feel I am too late?

It's all I need in life
to know what I'm here for
Open doors I willingly passed through
yet now I'm feeling unsure

So often it feels just right
but frequently I drift away
What is it I'm missing?
What is it I want to say?

Should I be asking for a sign
am I ignoring lifes cues?
I suppose I'm asking now
What is it I should do?

I fell in love with your poetry
at the very first line
feeling gentle words kiss my lips
rich emotions charged my mind

a title that caught my eye
and it really said it all
when I wasn't even looking
my heart began to foolishly fall

so deeply besotted now
with arranged words that you display
a heartbeat bashfully racing
and I'm left with nothing to say

you'll not even notice me
as you're wrapped up in beautiful forms
but I keep your poems close to me
and can only imagine you in my arms

Collaboration with the amazing Jack

Twilight shadows dance upon our walkway arched of stone
Hand in hand we stroll within this sunset summer breeze
Counting every heart beat calling sweetly of our own
Dreaming of the colors now awash among the trees

I can barely take in this wonderful scene
as my favourite view has always been you
The heavenly scent upon the warm air, lingers
intertwining with us on this late afternoon

We listen as a songbird sings so sweetly up above
In harmonies that mingle with the beauty of your eyes
Following the foot prints found along this path of love
Wishing on an early star aglow these blushing skies

Forever our fingers will connect, like our souls
my wish is to always follow you on this path
walking side by side during every sensuous sunset
through our stone archway we are immersed in love

Eternal are these days my love does share with you
*Endless passioned nights where each other we cling to

I have the same questions
to my insignificant life
I allow myself to ask them
knowing they'll cut like a knife

Will they ever be answered?
I have so much doubt
most are the same questions
circling on a roundabout

These many cunning questions
are usually about those things
that often confuse me
and keep me questioning

Frequently they're ponderings
about things that 'just are'
many travel dangerously deep
the distance, too far

Apparently I'm not grounded enough
my Chakra tells me so
I drift off into fantasy
a world I'm not supposed to go

I need this precious place
to ponder many things
I like to fantasise
it's like having wonderful wings

To think about those questions
and the interferences in my life
wondering 'outside my bubble'
a space, like the dead of night

I can question my many thoughts
and my own troubled debates
or about my already written future
Do I trust too much in fate?

Who knows about these questions
they're as close as an annoying friend
I'll continue to spend my time questioning
until my days come to a questionable end

Solitary bricks,
walls
ripped apart
It mirrors
how I once felt.
Each piece
reflects
forgotten moments,
they flash before me.
I smile,  painfully
but the memories are soon gone.
I cling though,
unable to release
this ****** habit.
The 'moments'
fade too quickly
yet frequent my mind
frequently.
It is 'meant to be'.
Solitary bricks
scrambled upon the ground
chaotic,  unregimented
resembling a mind, crumbling
and a heart, broken.

each word you delicately write
is taken from a page of my heart
I feel that you must know me
the pain I've felt from the start

it torments and pulls
yet you'll never know
you pen your lines so innocently
my emotions combined with your flow

your words of love bring tears
an unbearable ache inside
were you there with me
on those many nights that I cried

you wrapped me up in your stanzas
kissed my head with gentle thoughts
so I could lose myself in literature
with alternate breaths, we held a pause

my heartbeats matched your meter
only this form kept me alive
while I sleep, consumed in darkness
my story you continue to write

The curvature of the cloud
the coolness of the blue
allowing myself to drift off in them
my only thought is you

You followed my story
were there for each word told
comforted under darkened skies
and events that did unfold

The clouds they pass by
leaving me behind
unveiling the sun
offering a warmth that I've pined

It's like the story of us
a love that drifted away
suspended like the clouds
and gone with the light of day

You were my silver lining
but it doesn't matter now
I'm living my life without you
thoughts of us still hidden in the clouds

I didn't want to remember
but never tried to forget
and I almost didn't leave
yet I wouldn't go back
I wish I hadn't chosen
but wouldn't change a thing
I'm constantly humming a tune
yet without a song to sing
Feeling so claustrophobic
but afraid to venture outside
I'm sitting here hopefully
yet dwelling on goodbyes
I refuse to release more tears
but my eyes are brimming still
as I linger in warm thoughts
always confused about how I feel

(written for me by my very good friend Mike Hauser)


I spend most of my adult life
by the shore
Gazing at the pounding waves
Like life, I see how
they push as they pull
the foundation
that has been laid

The grains of sand
are like splinters of my soul
that have been worn down
with time

Eroding edges
by a mothers' control
a nature very dissimilar
to mine

I watch as a child,
too close to the shore
builds a castle in the sand
What the waves wash away
she tries to rebuild
In this, I see my childhood
once again

With the setting of the sun
thoughts come to mind
of my life's beginning
as well as its end
Where the things of the past
I find so hard to forget
and even harder to forgive

I know what I must do
it's there in front of me
Forgiveness can be
my only release
I leave it all behind
as I stand to my feet
and I walk further
down the beach.

Collab with Mike Hauser



I find myself more often than not
hanging by the sea
letting the tide pull out
the waves of doubt
that have so long
washed over me

Inhaling a scent so fresh
absorbing a tune so close to my heart
I linger, never feeling alone,
and wonder
Could I stay here
in this perfect work of art?

With the pastels that line
the sandy beach
the bright fluorescent
greens and blues
The pinks and reds
of the skies canvas
all mixed, in colourful hues

The swaying canvas of perfection
causes my doubts
to gently drift away
I watch them heading for the horizon
feeling soothed
by the rhythmic waves

I love a cuppa, I'm British you see
Especially in the morning, two maybe three
It starts my day and wakens the mind
I'm British you see, we're a funny kind
It solves all problems, that's what I like
Or drink it alone in bed at night
'Put the kettle on'. That's what we say
For friends with problems who need to stay
It's a therapeutic process, gives space for a thought
A warming gesture to offer support
It's a bonding ritual as old as time
I'm British you see, we're a funny kind

I'm trying on my bikini
so I keep the lights low
don't want to see everything
these bits aren't usually on show

They're whiter than the others
never see the light of day
I try to cover as much as possible
apparently a wet suit is not okay!

I'm actually dreading the thought
(and it's starting to make me sweat)
of bearing all my bits
it's like an intimidating threat!

I feel I'm seriously panicking
about all the crap I ate
wishing I had more willpower
but of course, now it's too late!

I tried to buy the 'fit'
to suit my pear shaped frame
which means the knickers are massive
and now I just feel shame   :/

The lower half of my body
I try to cover up
but my unimpressive top half
needs extra padding in the cup!

None of this makes sense
and it's such a stressful time
I'm taking the bikini back
and I'm just gonna ****** hide.

I sit and stare at nothing
      yet see so much more ..
          beyond

   Hands are clasped and closed
       yet I feel ..
          everything

   Listening closely to my heartbeat
        I hear your voice ..
           still

   My mouth, desperately dry,
        the sweet moisture from your lips ..
            I will taste ..
                forever

The tears fall and mottle the parchment
                 there is no ink to run
                       to smear
                             or distort

The stain of shapes, letters, words
         are no longer present
                  to be deformed
                         or washed away

The instrument with which to write 
            no longer has use,
                    is no longer held
                          with such care,
                                such grace
                
  The desk that supports the weight
                       of my futility
                              has now crumbled
                                      in despair

The chair that held me
                     refuses to bear the weight
                           of my hollowness any longer

I've left behind
          the room that is so empty
                       except for a distant echo
                               of thoughts
                                    cultivated,
                                           cherished

Only the view from the window remains the same
            yet I do not stare in wonder
                     or for inspiration
              
             I turn and walk away from it all.

It's so simple really,
'Let the pen write,
tell my tale,
explain how I feel!'

I cannot!
The pen is eager,
in hand.
My mind,  however,
is stubborn
and secretive

I don't want to write
although I feel the urge.
My thoughts,
are not clear enough.
I 'suspect',
yet I cannot express.

Restyle my hair, spring breeze
Refresh my pale skin
Remind me of you again
  and pull me back in

Remember all the times before
Return me to those days
Relive each and every moment
  and all of your ways

Rekindle a youth forgotten
Redesign nature again
Receive a loves lost memory
  the feelings still remain

Realise you're in the moment
Rebalance a wavering mind
Resemble the wisest person
  the best of all mankind

Retrieve the good times
Relinquish others we no longer need
Rebuild our strength together
  and plant a new seed

..  the ripples tease their way
        towards me ..

           the reflection,
          'mirrors'
       the soft curve of words
     that ******
  and entice me
     creating rippling patterns
        in
          my
             mind

A mother so far
from a mother to me
So much pain caused
by this woman I see

Discouraged from my door
Forbidden in my life
Chunks ripped from my heart
caused by her dullest of knives

Dementia has swallowed her
my anger softened somewhat
How can I hang onto such fury
when she's now a woman,  lost

Our relationship has changed
Now I spend time with her
How can Dementia be a blessing
Isnt it supposed to be a curse?