I wonder if you know* ..

it's the way you gently touch my fingertips
while we are in bed together
between sleep and dreams

You don't realise ..

that I often just look at that soft, darkly tanned skin
at the back of your neck, and know what it feels like
against my lips

You'd never think that ..

the creases around your eyes
the grey in your hair
makes you look 'just delicious'!

You don't know ..

when you place your hands on my body
and you're not trying to be suggestive
is when I find it most arousing

Did you realise that ..

even after 25 years together
when "Louise" leaves your lips
that sound,  is my most favourite in the world

Did you know ...

among all the romantic gestures
that you have blessed me with
it is these things that allow me to fall for you even deeper

If I were an artist
I could make you mine,
in full colour

I could delicately brush
every inch of you,
gently caressing your beautiful body
with each loving stroke

I would gaze at your form,
longingly,
stare into your eyes
without shame

Adding splashes of red
for love and passion
and maybe you
would love me too

If I were an artist
I could keep you forever

~ I began fitness training
a few weeks ago.
The Instructor!
What can I say!
He's too young for me,  obviously,
but I can't help but notice
his skin is a sweeter shade of caramel.
There is not a blemish to be seen,
(trust me I've looked)
His beautiful brown eyes,
I desperately try not to get lost in,
and dark hair that I know smells just great!
For me,  it's the shape of a man's legs
that would 'clinch the deal'
He has those legs
It's such a shame that he's too young,
or I'm too old,
oh, and I nearly forgot
I'm married!!
But if he can't keep me coming ..



back to fitness,
I really don't know what will! ~

; )

...a place I must quickly find
          to lay these words in peace
            to escape my congested mind
              in which they torment and tease

                       they need to be seen by you
                desperately want to be heard
                so now I must release them
           each and every sordid word

           it's like my mind is compelled
      and I'm going against my free will
                 but a decision had to be made
                  for my chaotic mind to be still

                            I'm laying myself bare
                 exposing every part of me
  see kindly please, my nakedness
   as you're now seeing all of me

        I watch you stare into my eyes
                       urgently trying to see it all        
                            glancing at bare white skin
                          searching deep within my soul..

I may cry
when you pass.
don't be fooled
it's not for you.

It's for the father
I should have had,
the father I deserved.
That's what I'll grieve
not you.

Never you.

What's there to miss?
I can do without you
making me feel awkward,
ignored,
an inconvenience.

Can you understand my view?

There were no cuddles
for me,
no tenderness
or tender words.

I did not even want you
to 'give me away'
on your only daughters
wedding day.
Escaping abroad
escaping feeling ignored.
You lost all rights
to hand me over
to another man
that would protect me.

You never got that right
did you?
Couldn't even protect me
from yourself.

So I sometimes think
about your health,
you, drinking yourself
               to
                    d
                      e
                  ­      a
                          t
                            h­

Not sure how much more
your old and bitter body can take

and I wait* ......

Living a lonely life
that is just so coldly cruel
I forced you to turn, walk away
when you were willing to be my fool

Holding on to the painful words
I knew I wanted to say
they choked up my insides
on that dark and desolate day

A million emotive words
stabbed at my throat and heart
I found them hard to swallow
when they were of our love

A desperate and yearned for intimacy
when for me,  there was none
the seams that held me together
were finally coming undone

I pleaded to save your soul
to show that you were not lost
I almost gave it all
but feared there would be a cost

I lay here again broken,  yearning
still nursing a scarred soul,
weeping and questioning
if you even cared at all

You offer me so much
but you're not sure what I want
I try so hard to explain
maybe I need to change the font

Always the same conversation
each and every time
but those all important words
seem to be lost or left behind

Acknowledgements are made
improvements last for a while
I can see you trying to hard
fighting to maintain the smile

I know you honestly love me
you always try your best
I feel I'm asking enough of you
my needs should be much less

The loneliness creeps back in
I feel myself withdraw
You don't seem to see it though
we just carry on as before

I then can't bring myself to ask
for you to spend time with me
I wish you'd notice the divide
and for you too, to feel the need

You tell me just to 'speak'
and let you know how I feel
but why don't you want it too
it's always my appeal

This is not your issue I know
my sighing heart is not whole
I'm faulty and permanently broken
and none of it's your fault

Yay! It's the weekend
out with the girls tonight
Feeling rather perky
but wish my backside was feeling tight

I've squeezed it into jeans
they hold everything in!
Can't eat or drink too much
as there's really not much give

I will make it work though
and wiggle it all with pride
feeling 'bootylicious'
Thank god I've got alcohol on my side!

:D

◆
The characters you form into words
                  
                                     tingle on my tongue

I can almost taste them
                                         like sweetness
                                                       laced with luxuria

I'd love to pause within them
                 so that I could just sit
                                     unnoticed
            while you scribe beautiful
                            curls and swirls
                                             around me

Your pen in motion would tell me
             how my name would sound
                    when whispered by you.


Tiptoeing
                          around loving words so gentle
                     I would feel them beneath my toes
                                           as they brush over them
                                                  
             ­                                                   playfully


­    Wandering slowly between phrases,
       phrases that truly capture my heart
          causing an ache inside
            so deep
              it's not in my chest anymore


          Longingly lingering in your stanzas
                                     filled with metaphors
                                                            deco­rated
                                                   with your scent
                                I close my eyes, and inhale


        My pupils dilate
  at the thought of you,
                             writing

There's such an intense
                                            expression
         ­                                  on your face

               I want to reach out ....
                                

If you didn't notice me
             I could stare deep
   into those delicious eyes
                                    so dark

    I sit here,
                      I wonder what I would see..
                        I wonder what you are like..
                        

                                                            ◆

◇


                  ~Why am I always searching
                       will I ever know?
                         What's it like to find it
                           to be at peace and to grow~

                                                 ~

                 ~Why am I always searching
                      should I let it come to me?
                        Yet I need to know the meaning
                          about all my life's meant to be ~

                                                              ­                                         ◇

My heavy heart feels so fragile today
I'm sure it is leaning to one side
I hope this feeling doesn't last
it's affecting the clarity of my mind

I'm pretty sure the beat is slower
and it's affecting the way I move
struggling to manoeuvre limbs
I soon hope things will improve

I've decided just to lay here
to let the feeling fade
I hope my heart's healed tomorrow
so I can begin a brand new day

~

I need to stand
at the edge of a river
imagining all my

       fears

            and

                anxieties

are passing by.


I would take a step back
  
         and     s
                       i
                         t




Silently

I would let them all

       drift

                g
                  e
                  ­  n
                       t
                         l
                           y

noticing each one

letting
           it
             go

and just observe the distance.

Already they seem
  
   smaller


I can enjoy the

     'here and now'

sitting by the river

      and appreciate a taste
      
             of

                  inner peace

                             ~

I hate to see you dear poet
writing out all your pain
it makes me feel quite useless
like an umbrella without the rain

I want to put my arms around you
to let you know someone is there
we won't even have to speak
it's just to let you know, someone cares

In reality there's a distance
and I'm unable to sit with you
but I hope you don't really feel alone
with this pain you're going through

I wrote a poem about you
that I didn't want to keep
so I wrote it by the ocean
in the sand beneath my feet

I sat there by it silently
listening to the waves
just watching the tide come in
at the end of this pensive day

As the sea gently rolled in
and washed away the words
salty tears began to fall
as the ocean took away the hurt

I will never share with you
the words written in the sand
I'll never kiss those lips I long to
or feel the gentle caress of your hands

I remain seated here alone
the poem just a memory in my mind
a pain still lingers within my heart
a mixture of loss and longing combined

One day I'll retrace the words again
in the glorious golden sand
maybe you'll see them this time
and just maybe you'll understand

I tried to write a poem
one that wasn't about you
it's more difficult than I thought
you're like a permanent tattoo

I didn't want to include love
and the way you make me feel
or how my heart is pulled
by the words you make so real

Each and every one of them
touches a place so very deep
piercing the depths of me
even while I'm asleep

A poem without mention
of the lust I feel for you
penetrating my body
just at the thought of 'us two'

I failed at writing a poem
one that wasn't about you
never to rid you from my mind
you have all of me *consumed

This is not just ***
but it is what it is
when I need it now
what I wouldn't give

A subtle weight
bearing down on me
able to release,
my desires to be freed

The passion builds
legs wrapped around you
I'll hold on tight
this is my fuel

Until you make it right
I won't let go
Keep the rhythm going
and that steady flow

Treat me rough
I really don't care
Just stay with me
until you take me there

Release the heat
that's deep inside
It's rising up
like an incoming tide

Before tonight
my body was numb
the passion is exploding
the moment ..
                
                  has ..

                       now  ..

                                come.

Collaboration with the amazing Jack

Twilight shadows dance upon our walkway arched of stone
Hand in hand we stroll within this sunset summer breeze
Counting every heart beat calling sweetly of our own
Dreaming of the colors now awash among the trees

I can barely take in this wonderful scene
as my favourite view has always been you
The heavenly scent upon the warm air, lingers
intertwining with us on this late afternoon

We listen as a songbird sings so sweetly up above
In harmonies that mingle with the beauty of your eyes
Following the foot prints found along this path of love
Wishing on an early star aglow these blushing skies

Forever our fingers will connect, like our souls
my wish is to always follow you on this path
walking side by side during every sensuous sunset
through our stone archway we are immersed in love

Eternal are these days my love does share with you
*Endless passioned nights where each other we cling to

I'm so lucky to have friends
right here on HP
I love the support that's sent
in each others hour of need

For without this cosy place
to bare my inner soul
I'd have no extra space
my words, no place to go

I often feel closer to you all
than my many friends at home
they only see me standing tall
notice only the courage I've shown

They know not all about my life
a 'side' I like to keep quiet
I do not share that I write
and would not call myself a poet

Although I love them dearly
each and every one
I won't bare myself freely
and doubt that day will ever come

I hold dear these precious friendships
the honesty and trust that is held
a powerful bond between poets
across the oceans, across the world

So I'm sorry, but you may have to forgive
the kisses I'll often send your way
and the loving hugs I have
that I'll send to you each day

I'm just a sentimental girl
with a lot of love to give
If you're on the other side of the world
I love you no matter where you live

I just died in your words tonight
and began to slowly fall
In a state of semi consciousness
among soft words, I felt so small

This scenario didn't frighten me
for death it would be the perfect place
I'd give myself to your words
and the soft curves I would trace

I'd caress them with my finger tips
they'd be the last thing I would feel
So gently like they're fragile things
my breath,  they'll eventually steal

In the end I'd lay down quietly
beside each loving phrase
just closing my eyes so softly
holding your words until the light fades

Hearts get broken, once and then again
without receiving love we'd go insane
  Like a sponge, it soaks up all the feelings
   confusing our head and leaving us reeling
    Our 'one true love' or 'infatuation'
     the one we worship and give all our devotion
      We give our 'everything' over and over
       all to our beautiful, enticing lover
        Giving our all and then we pray
          pray, they wont' take it all away
           If the day comes, the one we dread
            taken is the food of love we were fed
             Our soul is destroyed, no fight to defend
               hearts are broken once, and then again

I may be that girl
you see passing by
a cheeky grin
and a twinkle in her eye
That little smile
is really just for you
she'll gaze into your eyes
so you'll know it's true

Shaking that little *****
'coz everything's alright
greeting you each day
with a wave and a 'Hi!'
She hopes to make you feel great
with her good mood and delight

You may hear her coming
with her dainty sunkissed feet
slipped into flip flops
her painted toes look a treat
Sashaying by
in a floaty summer skirt
she's a 'people person'
not a naughty little flirt

She hopes to see you again
to give a wink and a saucy smile
It's to see you on your way
and remember
you're her favourite by a mile

; )