I'm sorry I did these things to you.
I'm sorry I left you with so many scars.
I'm sorry you have so much pain.
I'm sorry life is how it is.
I'm sorry I couldn't give you everything you ever wanted.

All I ever wanted was to make you happy
and I failed.

You wish for death
You wish to be free.
I wish for your love.
I wish you knew how much I loved you,
love you.

I hope that you will be happy
with someone
with yourself.
I hope that you never forget me.
I hope life begins to treat you fairly.
I hope you learn from me.

I forgive you and I love you.

You're the reason I go to sleep happy
You still want to die
If a wish could come true
I'd waste it on you changing your mind

I wish I wasn't such a coward.
I wish that I could end my life without guilt.
If I wasn't such a coward I would have done it by now.
I wish I wasn't so scared.
Of death.
If I wasn't so scared I could have died by now.
I wish I wasn't so unhappy.
Maybe then my family would want me.
Maybe then my girlfriend would want me.
Maybe then I would want me.

Depression is like math
It is like a sinus wave multiplied by x    
Along the x line we can count the amount of depression
Along the y line we can count how much we feel it

In the beginning there is no depression and no pain
Then there is the first top, some pain and some depression
The further we go along the line of depression
The amount of pain varies between feeling and not feeling
And the bigger our depression gets the more we feel

I give you every single part of me
Every. Single. Part.
And god it hurts, so badly
to be away from you
and know you could be searching for more.
I want to be all you need.
And still,
you're talking to her
and her
and her.
Why can't I be enough for you?
Sometimes I want to rip out my heart and throw it away.
It hurts so badly and I feel so drained.
I know she's,
prettier
skinnier
funnier
smarter
better
in every way.
But why can't it be me?
I just want you to love me.
I love you so much.
Please,
Love me.