Dressed to impress
And I must confess
How full of **** I really am

My life's a dichotomy
Pure business is what they see
Hair slicked back
Professional, hot ****
Smiling proud, *******
Look at my doctorate!

Charming sociopath
I'll grin like you've never seen before
"It was a pleasure talking to you," she'll tell me

And in my head, I'm ******* screaming
I'm dancing with devils and entertaining ghosts
Tempering and instigating demons with liquor in a paradox I've yet to understand
Engendering masochistic tendencies
Because I deserve no better

The city's best hypnotherapist
Can't seem to trick me into thinking you don't exist
With the shades drawn in his office
I remember tiny flashing thoughts
Of your breath rattling in your chest
Why won't you stop smoking cigarettes?
Of handwritten letters, begging
Your hands around my waist
Or as I wait,
the aspirin sliding down my throat
Thinking it would cure me of my broken heart
Of the words "I don't love you anymore"
Or
"I've been ******* her for months"
He can't make the thoughts fade
Of me on my back in the park
Blowing out smoke
Waiting for death while you fall in deep
Deeply, deeply, deeply
Out of love with me
I'm getting sleepy, very sleepy
As I fall into the grasp
There is no erasing
For what slipped through all the spaces.

I hear your echoes in every bottle,
It's all I can do to reach for the cork
I need this, I need this, I hate this
Please, please, please
Leave it, just leave it, at ease

Such pride, such vanity
Such dignity, chin up, love

It's over but does it ever really end?

a word for beauty
for yours I've never enough:
pulchritudinous

Red wine courses through my veins
Another glass poured as the bottle drains
And my lips in time have ruby stains
I think of you and my heart, it pains

A silhouette of trees,
Spindly branchlets reaching skyward,
Yearning to pierce the very clouds they merely obscure