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beneath the weight. the waiting and the ever churning grief.
however changed in my human skin
still too human for a civil tongue, too unforgiven to go a day
without persecution.
cloaked in new love's grace, with an ardent heart

and yet unclean... i embark to scale the impossible wall.

and what burns me down
is what i love.
it holds no water in the riverbed
that leads to the Truth
of Me.

II

this weary soul crawls on hands and knees
until it stands and screams, " i have not done thee harm this very day ! "
splayed beneath the grim shadow of a mutilated intention
driven out and whipped like an unrepentant fool
to the slaughterhouse of your constant doubt
and haste to take offense.

there is no safety to love freely and at ease.
only the vigilance of a paranoid -
love-sick as a sick dog
choking on a crust of
dread.

never allowed to rise from the dust i have forsaken
for true love to love thee more.
never allowed the grace of a lapse in my perfection
for perfection is the prerequisite for true forgiveness
in a war with a wounded angel.

so I remain
too human for love.
too human
to not be condemned
constantly.

ever the man on his knees
praying to a spiteful thorn
in his side.

never worthy.  never saved*.
Dedicated to a collision of souls, in a vacuum...
I was a flower planted on the ground.
Some days, the wind came to greet me,
Until I looked like a merry go round.
My petals started to fall one by one,
just detaching from me onto the grass.

         Mean while, underneath the ground,
         my roots gripped tighter to the soil
         as if they were looking for oil
         Like men do when in search for petroleum
         They dug deep, deeper down

This flower remained tall
Intentions lay shattered and scattered about
Now remnants of what could not be
The veil rent asunder, revealing all doubt
And the face we tried hard not to see
The beautiful thistle amidst scores of thorns
Still ****** us, and begs us to bleed
Just as the dreams that we still so adore
Sometimes sprout from the darkest of seeds
When even hope falters, and faith seems a lie
When demons rejoice, and angels doth cry
And every step draws the conclusion much further away
Every tear that resides behind eyes
Far too weary to open upon their demise
Will still succumb to the fall despite their dismay
The death of mortality’s endless charade
Lingers on as the lifeless continue to fade
Far beneath the parading of ghosts who continue to try
The cries of the broken a sweet serenade
Such an effortless potion that swiftly invades
The hearts of those who still refuse to die

The phantom progression of wanting the need
Still continues to tear at the soul
Ignoring the loss and the pain as it feeds
Upon every ounce of control
As the broken rise up from the fathomless ashes
Still screaming, and daring to dream
Holding to hope as it wails and it gnashes
Knowing nothing is all that it seems
While our time slips away with each grain through the glass
Our tears come and go, as the dew on the grass
And the frost of our frozen emotions still flees with the sun
We fall, and we rise, sprouting forth from the seeds
Of our failures and losses, and sweetly we bleed
Our journey through dark disenchantment now scarcely begun
Our every dream has been nearer than far
But none of us know just how close that we are
Until we dare to take just one step more
This thicket of briers now slowing us down
But protects the great beauty of what may be found
To be the very thing worth dying for
 Feb 2016 Liz And Lilacs
Creep
The thing is-
I can't stand liars,
that take advantage of the trust
and love
that we have given to them-
free of charge!
and throws it out
like it means nothing
and watches as we continue to smile,
though forced now,
and through gritted teeth
we tell you how much we love and appreciate you.

So please,
just tell the truth.
Even if you just "don't want us to worry,"
because really,
the thoughts that swirl our mind
are worse than
any truth that you could bring.
baby don't lie
by gwen stefani

so ******
 Feb 2016 Liz And Lilacs
Rumi
A lover asked his beloved,
Do you love yourself more
than you love me?



The beloved replied,
I have died to myself
and I live for you.



I’ve disappeared from myself
and my attributes.
I am present only for you.



I have forgotten all my learning,
but from knowing you
I have become a scholar.



I have lost all my strength,
but from your power
I am able.



If I love myself
I love you.
If I love you
I love myself.
Dim vales—and shadowy floods—
And cloudy-looking woods,
Whose forms we can’t discover
For the tears that drip all over
Huge moons there wax and wane—
Again—again—again—
Every moment of the night—
Forever changing places—
And they put out the star-light
With the breath from their pale faces.
About twelve by the moon-dial
One more filmy than the rest
(A kind which, upon trial,
They have found to be the best)
Comes down—still down—and down
With its centre on the crown
Of a mountain’s eminence,
While its wide circumference
In easy drapery falls
Over hamlets, over halls,
Wherever they may be—
O’er the strange woods—o’er the sea—
Over spirits on the wing—
Over every drowsy thing—
And buries them up quite
In a labyrinth of light—
And then, how deep!—O, deep!
Is the passion of their sleep.
In the morning they arise,
And their moony covering
Is soaring in the skies,
With the tempests as they toss,
Like—almost any thing—
Or a yellow Albatross.
They use that moon no more
For the same end as before—
Videlicet a tent—
Which I think extravagant:
Its atomies, however,
Into a shower dissever,
Of which those butterflies,
Of Earth, who seek the skies,
And so come down again
(Never-contented thing!)
Have brought a specimen
Upon their quivering wings.
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow—
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream:
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand—
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep
While I weep—while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
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