It's been a pretty long while, huh?

I don't know how long it's been since either of us have checked in here.

And I don't know how long it's going be until you check back in again. I'll probably pick up writing again, though, probably very soon.

You and the guys are talking about King's and how most of them had women on the side other than their wives (something I just overheard)

I've heard you complain
All night
About wanting another girl
When you slipped a ring onto my finger.

I heard you thank them for cheering you up,
When you told me nothing was wrong.
I'm so glad they cheered you up.
I'm so glad someone finally cheered you up.

The concept of the end gets closer and closer each time it starts.

Each time, I am more alone.
More detached.

Farther away.

Each time, it hurts more.

Each time,

It breaks me more.

But they never see.

They never notice. They are distracted. So distracted.

They all say they love me so.

They all say I mean so much to them.

That they appreciate me so much.

But then they leave me, after telling me leaving me alone might be dangerous to my health.

I can't wait for the end.

I am made of iron
I am made of fire
I am the steel of your heart
The blaze of your lighter

I am the embrace of your arms,
The warmth of your gaze,

I am the burning cold of the blade
As it cuts them down
As it cuts them down.

I am no damsel in a tower.

I am longing for the skies.

Longing for the skies.

Look at you.
So forced, so empty.
Look at you.
You keep snarling, "Why you? Why didn't he love me?"

Look at you.
Viciously pulling at marionette strings
That were cut so long ago with so many other things.
Look at you.
Stabbing picture frames.
Look at you.
Cursing my ****** name.

Look at me.
Eyes burning black as tar.
Look at me.
More deadly and more beautiful than a dying star.

Look at me.
Writing word after word, as though words could change anything.
As though I could ever change anything.
Look at me.
Covered in blood, covered in ash.
Look at me.
And you thought you could hurt me with some broken glass.

I say, You've come so far,
Turn away from the bars.
Don't you want to see what's next?
Please, come here, into my arms.
Step away from the ledge.

b u t  n o b o d y  h e r e   w o u l d  c a r e, i f  i   live  o r  i f  i  die.

And I say,

" How can you be,
So utterly blind?
If you were to just up and die, this world would be devoid of yet another light.
People you wouldn't even think of would breakdown and cry.

She tossed me a smile,
And I thought I got through,
But life has a way
Of playing horrible tricks on you.

She reached for my hand,
Thanked me for my words,
Promised she wouldn't make a mess upon the land
Beneath us.

I tried to grab her, pull her back.
But she slipped through my fingers, like a ghost.
I fell to my knees, my forehead on the ledge, my stomach in knots.
She didn't know, that I was the one when we lost her, I was the one who would lose the most.

I would cry the most.

Because I loved her

T h e

M o s t .

You'll leave,
Just like everyone else.

I re-re-re-re-repe-repea-repeat
just like a broken record.

But, surprise.

It wasn't you.

You were blazing
Burning
Lightning,
Pushing yourself too far,
And it was worth it every time.

I was the stars
In a night
That already had too much light
For me to be seen,
Getting lost in the pull
To recede back into what I was.

But you found me
You found me.

You reach out your hand,
Despite your fear,
Despite your pain,
Despite all the hurt that you know.

I did not extend my arm so that my fingers could graze yours.

Instead, I only stared as my sunset eyes
Took on the color
Of the dark, airless vacuum around me.

But I saw your lightning, as your tears drifted toward me.
As your Earth's gravitational pull ****** you back down into your atmosphere.

But you fought it.

You fought it.

And you brought me home.