it's crazy but it's true,
i love you,
and Vladimir too!

I fell for a boy.

with hair long and eyes blue

And he never knew

   the hold he had on me

even when I told him this truth

I fell for a boy.

who told me my god was not real

and left me questioning

what to feel

I fell for a boy.

who left me in tears

He hurt me like hell

Sobs he would never hear

I fell for a boy.

who cut his hair later that year

But I still whisper “you’re beautiful”

soft enough he cannot hear

I fell for a boy.

who has a soul

instead of a heart

but there’s a hole,

where that heart once was

I fell for a boy.

who’s my best friend

who loses my number

and likes my female companion

I fell for a boy.

who I would give the world

but from him

I still receive scorn

I fell for a boy

who has feelings he never shows

and knows not

how much I know

I fell for a boy.

who hates poetry and deep things

and I know he doesn’t care

for that part of me

I fell for a boy.

who leaves me feeling confused

yet I have not the courage

to express to him this abuse

This
Is the first time you got
Dirt
Under your fingernails
This is
The first time your dad
Didn't come home
This is the first time
Your little sister got
Drunk
And told you about her
Nightmares
This is the first time you stood
On the top of a mountain and
Screamed
At everything
That ever wasn't anything
This is the first time you stepped out of your pants
And into another person's
Body
This is the first time.
Maybe all of your parents' fighting was just a test.
Whether you passed or not depends on how
Late
You went to bed, listening
Or how
Empty
The palms of your hands looked when you
Held them against hers because
You were taught that you should
Hold it all.
Music is hard to dance to when you've been
Taught to stuff your
Fingers so far into your
Ears that you can't even feel
Your own heartbeat.

You were taught to hate the color yellow and have two left feet.

I saw you in dream,
We walked together,
Kaleidoscopic,
Like truly it had once been,
The comfort of always you in hand,
The sun's caress, the open skies,
A secret valley, fields beyond
The first breaking,
Dawns perfection,
Then music, newly made
Played on, seeping
A soft étude of warm drops,
Rain so gently dripping,
The whole meadow began to move,
Yellow butterflies and red winged warblers
Wafting round circuitous, ceremonious,
Soothed in simple harmony,
We made our barefoot way,
Toes in the sands,
Passed lofty streams, came upon
Golden gleams, glens, surprised
By lake shores seams and slowly,
Without fortune, gazed
Into the creaking sadness
Of blue
Reflections.
Suddenly, we slid, fell
Amid rolling tears
Filling our eyes,
And my hands reached
Out into nothingness . . .
Demise,
You,
Vapourized.
I awoke into steadfast
Silence and smoke
Of low, deepest night,
Tarnish taste of sloe
Burn and cold blackness,
Hopeless, banished,
Before the running after fall,
Near inklings of those
Only, once known,
Unblemished,
Hues, fading,
Lost,
Colours.

The eyes snap open,
Like the shutter on a camera,
Pupils fixed and tracking,
Watching every move,
Never blinking,
Pinholes peering into the depths of you,
Below subconscious,
Leering at your mind,
Keeping record of your every move,
Seeing inside,
Knowing your thoughts,  
Knowing what it thinks to be 'you'
A total surprise,
'no one can tell, right?'
It's like beauty,
Obvious to some,
Invisible to others,
I know ,if you know, and dread these dreams,
release me.

There came upon this mornings sunrise,
An unexpected smile,
Someone so distant,
Yet so near,
I could hardly open my eyes,
In dreams and dreams and dreams,
I had prayed a million times,
Best wishes and my sympathy,
For you my little child,
Remove this blackness from your heart,
And sit in stillness for awhile,
Remember the voice inside your head,
And smile.



Long ago I lost her,
Today she seems she's found,
A simple kind of life,
Unbound.

Grandiose and lofty it may seem
Nevertheless it’s a thought that captures
A dream I consider supreme
It triggers a spontaneous feeling of rapture
Whenever it crosses my mind.
It’s that a lawless society is an empowered society
The premise being that life is kind
Lending credence to society imposed piety.
As succinct as it is,
It sums up my simple idiosyncrasy as me
It’ll be a paradigm shift that’ll put my mind at ease
And fill my heart with glee.

The existing realities are grim        
         Stupefying for lack of a better word.

Andy Bryn.

Thou art so conniving
You conspire to purge me of my sense of reasoning
Leaving me bare to suffer the perils of an incongruous world
Belittled by all and sundry
Or how else do you explain a scenario where
The words I am sorry are too heavy a spittle
To be spoken to a loved one to whom I’ve wronged
Severing a lifelong relation in the process
Could be am being too ******* you
And that you are so patronisingly benevolent
Condescendingly overseeing my rise up the social ladder
Trouncing and prancing on the shrewd and their kind
Either way I salute your ingenuity
Indeed keep up the uncanny spectacle.