Welts on my hands
knuckles cut raw
back is aching
can't work no more.
Been thinking of this
losing a fight with that.
Wish I had a million
or a cowboy hat.
Cast my nets
caught nothing to eat.
I'd place my bets,
but the odds are too steep.

But when I see you
all pain disappears
can't imagine anyone else
beside me in my older years.
You're a priceless love
my buckaroo.
I never feel hugry
when I can feast on you.
I've nothing to risk
since I won your hand.
But when you're not near
I'm a lost useless man,
so I am.

Need to shake myself
before
I lose my grip.

Been a dour hound
time I think
to take a trip.

These layers of dust
I can shift
once I find my feet.

Got some surface rust,
but beneath
still thumps a steely beat.

He is a hurricane
and blows me away.
I'm trying to hold on to you,
but how can I compete with that?

He is a rainbow
his colours block out my shades.
I try to sketch a future for us,
but how can I compete with that?

He's a genius
makes me a babbling fool.
Trying to figure out why you'd ever want me.
How can I compete with that.

But he'll never understand what it's like
to count every second a blessing
cos you're in his life.
And he'll never stay awake every night
knowing dreams will never be
as sweet as you by his side.
And he'll never love you
with the passion that I do.
Tell me,
how can he compete with that?

Into a damaged heart
a temporary fix
of one night stands,
maybes and what ifs.
Glossing over cracks,
but the temporary rips,
widens in time,
gapping holes yawn
an infinite scream.
Vortex,
bottomless swallow
hungry to be filled.
Waiting for love's builders
to swoon with steel and solid bricks

For you I would mature twenty five years in a day
Just to let you see the gravity of the words I say
For you I would build a stylish invisible cloak
Just so if you wished to hide like flames behind smoke
For you I would willfully wrestle brutish alligators
Just so I could hear you speak of how you'll see me later
For you I would build all new things about me
Just so you would see no shattered shards or defeated debris
For you I would be Frankenstein's experiment
Just so he would inflate my heart to that of an elephants.

You with a giant heart accept me for all I am
Whether my name would be Peter, Clark or Sam
You did not need me to change anything at all
There was nothing I could do but tumble and fall
You don't mind my current maturity levels
Or how I'll laugh at the word ***** devils
You seem to accept me for, well just me
And with you I feel there's no one else I need to be.

Love and stars are alike, they are both true
But I think the beauty of both things lie with you.
Repeating myself of love that flowers and bloom
like an echo that never fades in volume.

I stopped counting my heart beats
When I know my heart could count on you
And this is the last of today's word repeats
**"You will always be in my heart and I love you."

When you see the moon
Come and take me by my hand
Walk me on the moonlit beach
Then sit us on the sand

But your arms around me
And ask me what I see
I’ll say, the moon and its reflection
In the waves, upon the sea

You will tell me, I’m your moon
And so, forever will you be
My reflection in your heart
For what you mean to me

I will say, that’s why I love you
You make me glow all night
You will say, that’s why, you love me
I am, the reflection from your light
BOEMS BY JA 510

"You didn't love her! You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or, or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn't love her, because you don't destroy the person that you love!"

you never loved me.

Addiction is
My something bitter
My something sweet

An unholy nightmare
I partly love
But mostly hate

My happiness ripped away
Like cement from a building
I cannot move
For inside out
I am crumbling

All around me my house is collapsing
As I find myself wide open
Standing in the rain
Which keeps falling
Just need a little more numbing

As I am bound to my body
Like an Egyptian mummy
A fight I can not win

Give me another
Another drink
Another pill
Another line

I am not sure
If I can even tell
The difference anymore

A vacuum under my feet
Where floor boards
Once met
My self esteem gone

A diminishing will that
Once stood like a mountain
Is now just empty Canyon

I am Sledging in the snow
Sliding down a mountain
But some how all
My joy has gone

My desire dissolving
Into a glass as
My heart has given in
As I fall into a drain  

Humiliated I feel
As I escape into another pill
As I am truly conquered
But not by a great army
Just my weak will

Slipping to my death
In quicksand I am sinking
And all I think is
Is Spar Open

Skidding on black ice
I can see I am about to crash
But I can not even flinch
Just have another drink

As I take another dive
If only there was
Something inside of me
That could say
Lets stay a Live

Then maybe I could pull
Myself
Out of this

My unholy nightmare
I partly love
But mostly hate

My something bitter
My something sweet
But mostly I hate