Life's a Beach

Life's a Beach Feb 2014

Your self taught wave appears,
tripping on sand, it clears
away your footprints,
leaving me to stand alone on
a rocky shore, once more.

The seaweed drags her down,
a dreary green draped crown,
shines about her hair,
drift away without
a care.

You're alone.

Why not?

Rot, rot, rot away.
Sway with the wind,
wait and wait
and wait,
someday it will rescind.

Life's a Beach Feb 2014

Untitled

I join you on the road of dread,
and slip my kid gloved hand
within your calloused own,
looking silently back at
the graves our roots were
sown on.
Just remember, we still stand
strong, the compost
heap became our home,
and now it's time to leave
Occasionally grieving it's
putrid absence.

Tarnished by it's
nostalgic scent.

Filled.

Life's a Beach Jan 2014

You.

She cleared out your toys,
dropped them
one by one,
into the black plastic
bag, you
couldn't make the
effort to feel
sad.
Not anymore.

The man she'd brought
looked at you
imploringly, he
apologised to
the blankness of
your eyes,
you can't remember
caring,
as your teddy
bears were shoved,
staring, into
darkness.

You just didn't care.

She blamed you,
of course,
everything was
somehow your
fault; books,
dirt,
dogs,
divorce.
It was always you.
Although you tried,
you always
believed she
told true.

It was always you.
Why was it
always
always
you.

Life's a Beach Jan 2014

Comfort

I want to run to you
I always run to you

A child with arms
outstretched, cradling a
butterfly worn with torn
wings, it
can't be real until she's shown it.
Can't be good til you've
confirmed it.
Can't have beauty til you've
admired it.
It can't, you give it life.
Without your breath
She lies bereft.

I have to run to you,
before I believe that it is true.

A child with a wounded knee,
hides the scar until
you've seen it,
once you've seen it,
then she'll ease it.
Can't have relief til your belief.
Can't look unafraid until
she's prayed to you.
She needs to limp to you.

I have to reach to you.

She needs you,
she does not wish to tease
your weary temper,
but she finds it hard
to always remember that
she's shown you it before.
A puppy jumping through the
door, happily places a cat's
treasure of a broken bird
upon the kitchen mat,
it's beauty trapped within the
meowing
mind.

I'm purring proudly up at you

Thanks for being so kind to her
menagerie, sorry for
getting confused by
internal imagery.
I forget how quite to empathise
that,
I think I need to change my tack.
But, this girl is sometimes trapped in
a loop.

Reminder: Learn when to turn on mute

Life's a Beach Jan 2014

Colour Girl

Colour girl, caught up in a perfect
world
Stuck between your straightened lines,
Just pretend you're fine,
you're not
I know for sure that you're not.
You're rotting.

Sharpened face
Folders can't replace unsaid
words stuck down your mouth.
Your smile is falling South
for Summer.
Feed it
Or it'll leave forever.

You have been warned
You have been warned

Tap on the table
Line up the pens
Repeat, rinse,
rinse, repeat
once again
You'll never be clean
But, no one is clean

You aim to be squeaky
and lean.

You've washed away your hue,
and spat it
out on paper
Your blood is gone
The ink seeps strong
Your will has turned
to vapour.

In the end you're just a faker,
Haven't you learnt that we're all fakers?

Tap on the table
Line up the pens
Repeat, rinse,
rinse, repeat
once again
You'll never be clean
But, no one is clean.

Who the hell's clean?

Wash away the colour
Wash away the colour
Wash away your colour

Song like structuring.

Life's a Beach Jan 2014

Paint With Complete Colours

If I had to
I would paint him like this;
His hair thick streaks, shielding
Hidden face, arms placed protectively
about a shield of strings, his
fingers float out joy.
My Boy
Lies immersed in his own
Invisible sound,
Happiness hidden, and found,
Underground.
Silence Sings Out Loud.

I would paint him like this.

If I had to
I would paint her like this;
Her hair tangled in a golden kiss
against the mischief of her
face, all sorrow erased
by half moons of mirth
Hands of Nurture placed
deep in the Earth.
In stability she is
free, in life
she is re-born,
eternally stubborn.

I would paint her like this.

If I had to
I would paint them like this;
Colours clashing to complete
the cadbury brown of hair,
Blue and Red swirling and
stairing their way down
to Purple.
If I were to paint them, I'd
create a staple of
a third and final
canvas.

Both Him & Her,
Boy and Girl,
complete
_ _
This is their
similarity.

Life's a Beach Jan 2014

Untitled

I danced as though Everyone watched.
Threw myself into movement;
Offered everything up to the God's...
A Human Sacrifice.
I offered them my blood
Flung my arms, my legs,
my head, torso and also
my mind into an
abyss of feeling.
I offered Everything.

The Audience was an opponent,
a challenger waiting
whilst I stood panting in
the wings.
I knew I'd have to fight them
with everything,
my glance retaliation
as I swept past them and
Danced.

Danced on,
danced with everything
Danced.
It was all that mattered.

Everyone was all that mattered.

That small speck of person
that filled an auditorium
with their presence.
Someone to watch,
to understand
the longing reach of
the turned up hand in
my choreography.
Someone who I knew would
feel empathy, because they
knew me.

Because I knew they loved me.

They do love me,
but they didn't come.

Once again Fate, you *******,
won.
The worst thing is, I knew it
would end up like this.
I knew, but for
once I wanted not to end up
Disappointed.

'Something' always comes up,
'Something' always ***** up along
the line, to mean that No-one
turns up on time,

or not at all.

No one saw me, No one at
all.
I danced to empty seats,
danced to the beat of an
absent heart, danced to the
hope that, at the end, the crowd
would part to show me
You

Everyone

But they didn't, and once again
I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.

No point,
My Fate lies in disappointment.