Fear Closes in, Shadows become darker.
My life is full of disappointment and despair.

The sun no longer shines for me,
Its been missing for some time.
I feel like I am paying for someone else's crime.

I wake up in the morning,
feeling as tired as wehn I went to sleep.
Every part of my body hurts
As I lay here and weep.

What do you do when you feel this way?
When you no longer want to try,
When everything inside of you wants to give up and die?

Night turns to day and day turns to night,
And every second I am slipping,
Wanting to give up this never ending fight.

You say I'm a very sweet, sweet taste.
You're like my favorite coffee.
You are wonderful on your own.
Perfect to me.
To others, different.
You don't need sugar to be perfect.
But since I am your sugar, I'd prefer to be added to your perfection.
To make you feel a little sweeter, a little brighter.

A nightmare began to play for opened eyes
A hesitated day had finally come
Opened eyes were too dry to cry
A decision was set, already made
Decision came with a price to be paid
I waited as the drugs eased the thought before the pain
Ultimately never being the same
Listening to them plead as doors opened and closed
My name being called
Slowly I rose
Entering the room where I became a killer

I savor the peace that silence brings
the air seems to coat me like the winter's snow
escaping away to that quiet place where
the world cant touch me and I'm left alone
I've learned the magic in these moments
where my mind takes off like a pack of wild horses
free to decide where ever they may roam
Freedom from judgement or ridicule

The moment came
and I drifted away my breath reduced to a quiver of chest
" BREATHE "
...no I cant
I needed to relax
my mind regressed
the lights dim
there was a peace there
until basic instinct kicked in
" BREATHE "
...a gasp
one head rush and I am back
Sometimes I wish I had left
I guess that just isn't right