I must have known
the cold face of the sun

so foolish, I fell
for the idea of you
your shadow, my dream

doves send messages
and in the halls
you do not
look at
me

so sweet
so shy
we both let months go by

girls in dresses
flowers in their hair
nails painted blue
naive and unaware

that boys in suits
watch them from afar
wishing they were brave enough
to get out of the car

there is a sculpture
she claims unsketchable
of a woman in a mangled
frozen pose

the people flock to kiss
her pale lifeless feet
and gaze up in such proximity
to the angelic, unravelled woman
who becomes something more
in their gazes

but we sit from afar
and she marvelled at those wings
at the bends and swerves of that limestone
or marble
at the spine and the cracks

the prose of anonymity in beauty without a face,
a fetish,
just awe in raw skill

her eyes are deep
stark like islands in an ocean
murky tides
misty waves
things lost and conveyed
a galaxy of clustered stars
that have dwindled off
so very long ago -
yet not to us
for no one has seen
how floods corrupt the dam
of her lashes,
the downy of her skin
so young and like a flower
wilting
she is guilty of another's crime
but again, she sinks
into sand
into clay at the absolute bottom of the deepest abyss
from sun-tanned to night-kissed
she reaches out with a hand,
a plea,
a look

and the pressure of the water pulls you in with her
so that you, too are lost
in the expanse
of those deep eyes

born with the water
the lotus opens in the moonlight

a man fell for her,
and every now and then they dine
on moonshine

above the surface she is rose and white
and below she is tethered to the world

no one can hold her
except for the water

brown eyed girl
with sand straight hair
never smiles anymore

brown eyed girl
with sand tan skin
left out on the open shore

seagulls scream
tides sweep in
salt stains drying up her core

feet sink in
the sand is dense
she sinks
and sinks
and sinks some more

you are not yet mine
what will I say
to make this into something

I'm wasting time
day after day
but nothing comes from nothing

it's almost june
it's been a year
I wish that I could tell

the lovely moon
to tell you, dear
that I am under your spell

we are not we
just me and you
two hundred thousand dreams

but do you see
a path so true
more lovely than it seems

I pray too much
and barter words
but I am too afraid

to risk a blush
and vision blurred
I think I'll just evade

I am still young
my heart is dumb
my mind is none the wiser

but now among
this foolish love
won't you be a sympathizer

i'll buy a ring
and take your hand
and kneel down on my knee

if I could sing
make you understand
the truth of my soliloquy

i cannot name what i feel for you
but you mean something to me

what we love
we let go

what we hold onto
we love

every day in dark beginnings
we stand on sidewalks side by side

as we approach I clear my throat
hoping that our feet collide

and maybe if I stand so still
it can be just you and me

my heart is racing from the thrill
a hopeless possibility

you said my name and spoke a line
and quick i was to answer

but you and I have words too shy
to speak like graceful dancers

i see you and you see me
but do you really understand

how every second I pretend
that these near moments I can stand

to stand beside you,
composed on my own island.

time is a tunnel

how do people speak so much about nothings

too little

TOO MUCH

(I should just do my best and risk losing the security of their cares)

someone once said,
security is a prison which you give up your life for.

I have listened to the strumming of your song
and the way your fingers move is something I'm afraid I will never understand

the veins in your hands are flooding like rivers
like when swords are grasped and ****** into battle

you fight the air with your songs
and the water with your melody

and orpheus might turn, again, at you who plays for the pleasure of the gods -
yet it is not for them you play,
but for yourself.

and that is purity.

that song is so beautiful
and the strings make me cry
but I forget that an instrument needs to be taken care of too
in order to sound so wonderful.

it is soothing to see them,
taking care of one another.

I have lost so much in so little a time,
I forget this and this and this moment is mine.

I have watched you love
seen you hate
and I know the horrors
of forgetting to appreciate.

and I sing of my dreams
as if they are to be
though I am afraid
that forever caged, I'll be.

the most dangerous feeling
is invincibility

where can blame be laid
if not next to a body
after no one claimed it for themselves?

beast

it feeds upon dreams
and joys
and we blame it for our carelessness

and we forget about it being there
and it loves
and we love
it hates
and we hate

and it hungers
starves

though still it is a beast

I have  been grieving for you
every goodbye,

my entire life.

To know you, I would risk our love carved into pillars, declared to history.

It is enough for me, to love you in silence,
without your consent.

Oh how would I cope if this was reciprocal,
but to die with you in my arms
and hold onto you forever?

stand still.

I am like this,
like that

it is hard to be what I fear -
change

I am fickle and fain when things remain

i love this quote:

the water sustains me without even trying
the water can't drown me, I'm done
with my dying